Chatting to Crowns

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Chatting to Crowns

I'm sure most of you are familiar with this kind of thread. If not, this is where you just babble about anything you want to talk about to run up your post total. It's also a great place to talk about stuff that doesn't necessarily deserve it's own thread but you just want to put out there. It's also a great way to get to know the people that are on this board.

I am sooooooooooooooo grumpy today!! I was never this mean with my first.

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happy to get the numbers up....i know the feeling of being mean. everyone always says im moody now but everytime they tell me this it just makes my mood worse. lol.

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"violetjed" wrote:

I am sooooooooooooooo grumpy today!! I was never this mean with my first.

I am too!! I feel so bad for my poor DF.. well kinda :rolleyes:

Also, my future MIL is driving me INSANE!! We had our first U/S on Monday and she actually called DF crying that I didn't invite her, and that that's ALL she's been looking forward to since she found out!! But that is just a fraction of what she's doing... Last week she sent me an email with a list of all natural birthing centers, and midwifes that 'She' is looking forward to meeting with me, (Oh did I mention I never once said I wanted to go all natural?). Along with a list of 'classic names' she thinks I should consider :eek: Ohhhh, and!! DF said she's already asked him who was going to be in the Delivery room with 'US'??!!!!! (as in him, me and her).

I'm telling you, she is turning into the MIL from hell.. Sad

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"Love.Grown" wrote:

I am too!! I feel so bad for my poor DF.. well kinda :rolleyes:

Also, my future MIL is driving me INSANE!! We had our first U/S on Monday and she actually called DF crying that I didn't invite her, and that that's ALL she's been looking forward to since she found out!! But that is just a fraction of what she's doing... Last week she sent me an email with a list of all natural birthing centers, and midwifes that 'She' is looking forward to meeting with me, (Oh did I mention I never once said I wanted to go all natural?). Along with a list of 'classic names' she thinks I should consider :eek: Ohhhh, and!! DF said she's already asked him who was going to be in the Delivery room with 'US'??!!!!! (as in him, me and her).

I'm telling you, she is turning into the MIL from hell.. Sad

Ha! Kill me now! I'd die. I'm sorry you have to deal with that... Me= NUH-UH!

AFM, not much going on... just waiting impatiently for next Wednesday so we can leave town.

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"Love.Grown" wrote:

I am too!! I feel so bad for my poor DF.. well kinda :rolleyes:

Also, my future MIL is driving me INSANE!! We had our first U/S on Monday and she actually called DF crying that I didn't invite her, and that that's ALL she's been looking forward to since she found out!! But that is just a fraction of what she's doing... Last week she sent me an email with a list of all natural birthing centers, and midwifes that 'She' is looking forward to meeting with me, (Oh did I mention I never once said I wanted to go all natural?). Along with a list of 'classic names' she thinks I should consider :eek: Ohhhh, and!! DF said she's already asked him who was going to be in the Delivery room with 'US'??!!!!! (as in him, me and her).

I'm telling you, she is turning into the MIL from hell.. Sad

ohhhhhhhhhh If I had a MIL like that, she might be pushin' up daisies by now lol

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Oh Goodness. You need to set some boundaries now it sounds like. I love my MIL, but she has always *always* been respectful of our decisions as parents even if she had a lot of questions.
A list of names, assuming you'll be in the room, AND thinking you get to help choose the midwife? :rolleyes:

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I'm pretty lucky in the MIL department as well. She has her moments with some stuff but she truly loves me as if I am one of her own. That's pretty special.

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wow....i feel for ya. i took my mil to my first appointment so she wouldnt felt left out....felt kinda creeped out too but not really. we all did the medical history stuff then when it came time for the pelvic and bb exam i kicked out both my husband and my mil. as for the names ive done made alot of people mad. boy or girl my kid is gonna be jayden ray but they will get over it....and if i were you i would set boundaries about whos in the delivery room. i dont know where everyone stands on this issue nor do i mean to be offensive but i look at it this way....i wouldnt even want my mom in there with me let alone my mil. stay strong!

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Out of everything that's happened, I'm not sure whats worse; it's all about as equally annoying!! She is making me feel like I am just an incubator that's bringing HER baby grandchild to life. I think the fact that she feels entitled to being there through everything is what really drives me nuts!! She is not even giving us a chance to consider or invite her to be a part of things.

I feel bad for DF.. he feels caught in the middle. At least she is not calling me everyday complaining. I just have to get all the crazy text/emails, while he has to hear all about me 'ignoring her'.

Ohhhhh, lol, I also left out of my first post that when I told her we didn't wanna find out the sex of the baby, she'd just find out from the u/s tech on her own (you know, cause she will be at EVERY u/s as well) because according to her it's 'criminal' to not start shopping pre-birth?!

Uhhhg!!!!!!!!!! :violent2:

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Oh man, you really need to put your foot down quick. Something to the effect of "you'll find out the sex over my dead body". It would also be helpful to remind the u/s tech that your MIL doesn't have informed consent of your medical history just in case!

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"violetjed" wrote:

Oh man, you really need to put your foot down quick. Something to the effect of "you'll find out the sex over my dead body". It would also be helpful to remind the u/s tech that your MIL doesn't have informed consent of your medical history just in case!

At this point, she has not even been invited to any u/s, and honestly her calling DF after our FIRST Dr. appointment crying because she 'was not asked to be involved', may have just sealed her fate. It's just getting under my skin that she is taking my saying 'no thank you' to all of her suggestions, personal!!

And it's really starting to bug me that she calls her son to complain about ME?! My poor guy doesn't need the stress either, and quite frankly Im a hop, skip and a jump away from going off on her.. telling her that she is from here on out, formally DIS-INVITED from anything to do with this pregnancy :brucelee:

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Amber, you might need to have it out with your mil. I feel so bad that you guys are having to deal with this! Just lay it all out there, you make the rules not her Smile Rude people, family or not, need to be checked.
Good for you for not inviting her to ultrasounds. I feel that stuff is so private anyway.
My mil lives in Boston ( we live on the west coast), so luckily she doesn't pull that stuff with us.

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"jubileerose" wrote:

My mil lives in Boston ( we live on the west coast), so luckily she doesn't pull that stuff with us.

Now that sounds like a dream.. lol

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I totally can understand what you are going through right now. My MIL lived with us awhile back, almost ruined my marriage, and she passed away after she od'ed (sp?) on heroine.

I am so so so sorry. Set some boundaries and try to get on the same page with DF so you guys can have a united front of some sort.

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I am also sooooooo exhausted still. I really hope that this starts to fade in the 2nd trimester.

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"Mommy D" wrote:

I am also sooooooo exhausted still. I really hope that this starts to fade in the 2nd trimester.

Ugh, this is so me too. Also, I feel like I'm thinking through mud. My brain just isn't working!

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Hey ladies....

Amber, good luck with that MIL of yours!!! I'm lucky...not only is my MIL pretty ok, but she lives in Australia (and I don't)! Smile So yeah, pretty easy to keep boundaries clear! Smile

I'm definitely feeling moody and yucky. Didn't sleep well last night, been having all these crazy dreams... just feeling worn out and lonely. Pregnancy hormones aren't helping anything. Sigh. Almost lunch time here... gotta go make something for DD.

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My boobs are hurting bad today! Sharp pains all over the place.

I took DD to the park today and let her play her little heart out.. we've been having some gorgeous weather.. I think it was a high of 68 today and bright and sunny. We're supposed to get as high as 70 one of these days. This is one of the times I love living in the desert! Honestly, I kind of hope it snows here this year. It hasn't snowed to the point where it stuck since 2008... we were able to build snowmen and everything. We loved it Smile

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Amber, say to your mother-in-law, "MY body, MY baby, MY choice." I didn't even want my own mother in the delivery room (and she wasn't). My MIL certainly wouldn't have been invited either.

But that's a non-issue because my MIL is dead. Blum 3 She keeled off a month after we got married (aortic dissection). Didn't bother me one bit. I wasn't too fond of her chain smoking, loud, angry ways. I didn't want my daughter around any of that.

My FIL died when my husband was 18 so I never met him, but he was a drug abusing asshat from what I've been told.

It's strange that my husband turned out so well. Biggrin He doesn't smoke or drink, he never tried drugs, and he doesn't watch sports or play video games either. HEAVEN! Yahoo

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"kristie_b1" wrote:

asshat

And this is why I love this kind of thread so much lol

I am getting more concerned every day by how depressed I am. My midwife gave me information for a counselor if I felt I needed it. She agrees with me that it's probably because of my past losses. I just can't feel anything about this baby right now. I can't feel any connection to it yet. I'm hoping once I get to my high risk u/s that I can put my fears aside and get emotionally involved. It doesn't help that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and this is usually the worst time of year for me.

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Jo Dee, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I have depressive tendencies as well, and although I don't think my issues are to do with the pregnancy, I am also having a low point right now. Finding it hard to find motivation to be productive. Sad Sucks, because I want to be happy and enjoy these last months with just my DD, etc... but right now I can't seem to pull myself out of it. Sigh.

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You ladies all make me feel so much better about possibly starting to hate my MIL.. lol.

On another note!! Thank the Lord for whoever invented Zofran; I feel almost normal again!! I've even noticed that my 'miss. grumpy butt' attitude has toned down a bit too!

Who knew 24/7 nausea could make me so pissy :rolleyes:

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"Love.Grown" wrote:

Also, my future MIL is driving me INSANE!!

I'm telling you, she is turning into the MIL from hell.. Sad

Ugh... mine too. She's INSANE!!!!!! If you need to vent about MIL's Im here for you! Mine lives on xanax and forgets her son is no longer nursing. lol. Yes I am grumpy too!!

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"Marite13" wrote:

Finding it hard to find motivation to be productive. Sad Sucks, because I want to be happy and enjoy these last months with just my DD, etc... but right now I can't seem to pull myself out of it. Sigh.

That's how I feel right now. Its very very hard. I am so tired and don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. I had to stop "ween" off my antidepressants.. I wouldnt say I am extremely depressed, its more anxiety. DH and I have had a really rough and crazy year. (he's had 4 heart surgeries this year, including one open heart) All I want to do is sleep. I am hoping things get better in the second trimester.

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I get to watch one of my good friend's 5 month old baby today. Here's to refreshing my skill set lol

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"violetjed" wrote:

I get to watch one of my good friend's 5 month old baby today. Here's to refreshing my skill set lol

Ha! I know what you mean. I watched my best friend's 6 month old a few weeks ago and felt like I didn't know what I was doing. When they say it's different with your own kids, it's so true. I remember when I was pregnant with my DD I held a baby and she just screamed and screamed... I thought there was no way I was cut out for this mom thing! Anyways, have fun... I do love babies.

One of my cats is acting crazy this morning. He is all over the place, hissing and scratching and running wild... I wonder what has him all in a tither.

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"sometimes" wrote:

Ha! I know what you mean. I watched my best friend's 6 month old a few weeks ago and felt like I didn't know what I was doing. When they say it's different with your own kids, it's so true. I remember when I was pregnant with my DD I held a baby and she just screamed and screamed... I thought there was no way I was cut out for this mom thing! Anyways, have fun... I do love babies.

One of my cats is acting crazy this morning. He is all over the place, hissing and scratching and running wild... I wonder what has him all in a tither.

My cousin had her baby AFTER me. But her baby always screamed when I held her for the first few months lol. The only time she didn't scream was in the hospital the day after birth. I thought I must put off bad mojo or something lol.

Parker didn't really like me holding her either as a tiny baby - she always wanted daddy to hold her, or to be left alone in her boppy. Thankfully she LOVES baby wearing. Or maybe she just knows she's stuck, and that whining won't do any good?? lol

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Jo Dee--so sorry to hear about your losses. That's so hard! I highly recommend counseling. I had some childhood issues that were making it difficult for me to bond with my first or really feel anything for him, even after he was born it was more mother-gut-instinct-to-die-for-this-kid than warm-fuzzies. Counseling changed all that. It's been amazing the difference counseling made. I've found that I have room in my heart for both Charlie and the new one coming in a way I never could before. Just make sure you find the right counselor for you. Even if someone is a great counselor, they may not be a great one for you. Just like my best friend's husband is a great guy, perfect for her, but a terrible husband for me.

Amber--your MIL sounds psycho. Don't blame yourself if you can't make things better. Sometimes there can be very little you can do because some moms and sons seem to have a really entangled relationship. (I'm trying to remember this in raising my son). I tried everything with my MIL, playing nice, setting boundaries, ignoring, arguing, everything. My husband said he was loyal to me, not her, and yet he never laid down the rules for how she would treat me so nothing I did made a difference.
That is until a year ago last summer when she was staying with us (thank heavens she lives out of town!) and she finally chewed me out so royally that I refused to come out of the bedroom except to go to work. It took TWO DAYS of that before my husband would actually sit down and understand what was going on. His comment was that he figured I'd "said something to upset her." At first I was flabbergasted. He is an incredibly kind, caring husband. He heard everything she was saying, basically that I was a terrible wife and a terrible mother and that I should stop calling Charlie wonderful because there's nothing wonderful about him except that he's related to her. How could he think it was my fault?
Once he really sat down and listened and got through his weird mommy-son hang-ups, he was furious! He called my mom to come pick up Charlie and me and told me to pack a bag as he didn't know how long I'd be staying. When Tim picked us up late that night, he said his mother was in a hotel and going home. He basically told her that he was the husband and man of the house and he decided how good a wife and mother I was, not her, and that he and I would make our own decisions about how to raise Charlie and what kind of marriage to have. She didn't like it one bit.
Tim and I have talked about it many times since. He realized that from young childhood it was pounded into his head that mommy did no wrong, if someone screwed up it was someone other than her. So even though he would complain about her, he would never stand up to her. It was like in her presence he became a little kid again. It was a huge turning point for him personally and our relationship when he realized his allegiance was with me. This was after 8 years of marriage! He was the only one who could put her in her place. It's been amazing to not have to deal with the crap anymore! I hope your guy figures things out faster than mine did. If you can find a solution, that's great! If not, he may be the only one who can really tell her how to treat you, in which case it's his job.

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"BusyRobin" wrote:

Sometimes there can be very little you can do because some moms and sons seem to have a really entangled relationship.

This is unbelievably true. My MIL is very kind, warm and loving. I actually have a really close relationship with her. But there are some things that happened in DH's upbringing that are really, really disfunctional including serious amounts of guilt and abnormal amounts of responsibility being put on the shoulders of a child. He would fight for her to the death. I'm just lucky she's not crazy, just really overprotective.

Robin, I'm going to wait to see if there's any improvement after the first trimester. I never had bonding issues with my first and we are extremely close. I think once I can convince myself of the permanence of this child, I'll be ok. If not, I'll get help. Also, I really need to put stock in the time of year it is. I'm always a mess the last of Nov. first of Dec. with SAD.

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Ugh, I have a cold Sad

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Jo Dee, you and me both! I've been stuffy/runny/headachy and now have a sore/itchy/yucky feeling throat with a nagging cough that almost makes me want to puke just about every time it hits for like 3 days now. GROSS. I want it to go away! My DD has it too, and I know she and I are feeding each other germs left and right.... I hope we can both kick it soon!

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lol That is exactly my house but in reverse---we all had the itchy sore throat for a couple of days and now have the snotty/congested/runny noses. DH is better, DS is almost better and I'm bringing up the rear in the thick of it all.

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Just realized one more post would put me at 1300 lol Perfect place to put it Wink

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Nice Smile

So any big plans for the weekends? Do you all put up Christmas decorations?

We usually do right after Thanksgiving but we weren't home so they didn't get put up. That will be done on Saturday. We have a lot of stuff but DH knows exactly where it all goes and plugs in, etc etc so it's not that difficult anymore. We love it.

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I hate decorating for any holiday, I'm a real scrooge. I won't say a word about decorating for Christmas, but at some point my husband will decide to go buy a tree. I know my feelings about Christmas aren't normal, but after suffering some major losses in my early twenties, I tend to not enjoy holidays like I used to.

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We're not decorating at all because we won't be home for the holidays. We're spending three weeks traveling and will be in Bali, Thailand and Malaysia from Dec 17- Jan 7... so really no use decorating our house. Fine by me. We're living in a tropical country, and since I grew up in Michigan, Christmas in the heat just doesn't make sense to me. It just doesn't feel right and being in a tropical place makes me miss a real Christmas back home, but, doesn't make me want to try to create a sense of one here- it just wouldn't work for me. Smile

No real plans for the weekend. My DH has the day off work tomorrow- I think it's a big national holiday... so we have three days. Long ago we thought we might make use of this weekend to go away, but, nothing came of planning so it will probably be a quiet weekend at home. We need to buy a couple Christmas presents, so maybe we'll get that done. Smile

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I have the tree and stockings up. I don't do much more decorating than that. I started with the tree the night before Thanksgiving. But I didn't finish til after Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn't feeling well so I was slow lol.

Parker loves the tree. She blows on it and sniffs it lol (it's a fake tree so I don't know what she's smelling!! lol). She knows she isn't supposed to touch it so that's what she does instead.

I don't think we have any plans for the weekend. I'm a homebody anyway.

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Kristie, how often is your DH away? I mean, I know you said he's gone most of the time... when do you get to see him? You said he's a trucker, right? My best friend's dad was a trucker... Smile

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He's SUPPOSED to be be gone 6 days, then come home for a day and a half. But he's usually gone longer than that. And they are pressuring him to stay out 2 weeks now. And he's going to do it because we need the money!! (I know many truckers are gone a LOT longer than that, so I'm still lucky either way).

He took last week off (paid) so he could get his school work done. It helped. He passed his very last test, and got more done on his final project. Once that project is done and graded, HE WILL BE DONE!! He'll get his bachelor's degree, and HOPEFULLY a better job!!!!!!!!!!!

We were getting supplemental income from his military education benefits. (The GI Bill). But that expired a couple months ago, so we just lost $1400 a month in income that we've had for 3 years. I'm having trouble trying to stay under budget lol. So he really does need to stay out 2 weeks at a time in order to pay the bills.

I really hope he graduates FAST lol.

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Wow, Kristie, that sounds like a big challenge... one you would get used to, but tough any way! Good for him though for working on a degree and eventually pursuing a better job! Will he eventually be trying to get some kind of 9-5 job? How long has he been a trucker? It will be a big adjustment again once he's home more normal hours! But a good one of course! I know when my daughter was born my DH was around for 2 weeks, and then he had to go back overseas to finish the school year- so I was alone with my daughter for 6 weeks. We settled into quite a routine, and I will admit, it was very hard for me to let DH back into the mix when he got back! I was just so used to doing everything, and doing it my way... it was an adjustment period!

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He wants any job that pays the same or better, but lets him come home every night. That will be HEAVEN lol. He's not really a Type A personality, so he lets me do things the way I want. And I think it works better that way haha.

He was home for 2.5 months straight at the beginning of the year because he broke his hand in a truck accident (he had surgery for it). He was on worker's comp and worked out of the office doing whatever they told him to do. We did ok being stuck together that long lol.

He was in the army first. Then he and first wife decided to do team driving for about 2 years (waaaay before we met). They divorced, he did some other jobs (he was a cop but he quit because he said it wasn't for him). Then he got back into trucking and he's been doing it for a little over 3 years this time around.

ETA: And he is FED UP with trucking. He is sick of it. He is not someone who LOVES it. I mean, he likes that there's no boss in his face. But he hates being away from home, and he works 14hr days most of the time.

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Kristie, I bet it would be super hard. It's something we slightly considered but I don't want my DH gone for that long. Right now he's a local driver and makes crap money, but like your DH is going to school. Unfortunately it's going to take another year just to get his Associates because he can only take one class at a time. He doesn't like driving either but at least it's locally.

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"sometimes" wrote:

Kristie, I bet it would be super hard. It's something we slightly considered but I don't want my DH gone for that long. Right now he's a local driver and makes crap money, but like your DH is going to school. Unfortunately it's going to take another year just to get his Associates because he can only take one class at a time. He doesn't like driving either but at least it's locally.

Shane goes to school online via Western Governor's University. It's accredited like any other public university. And it's NOT for-profit. Reasonable tuition. You should check it out. You have to motivate yourself to do the work, but if Shane can do it, working 70hr weeks, rarely being home, and being 30 years old (no spring chicken lol) then anyone can. He get's internet for his laptop through his cellphone so he can do homework and study on the road.

He transferred some credits he took when he was younger and will graduate 3 years from his start date with a bachelor's degree.

http://www.wgu.edu/

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Reflux, already?????? Really???

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I've never had reflux. But at 14 weeks I'm saying, morning sickness? Still? :/ I'm a big fussy baby this pregnancy. the one good thing is I'm greatful for all the health I've had all my life. Super greatful Smile

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My 2nd trimester is how I thought my 1st trimester would be.

I HAVE NO FREAKING ENERGY. My sleep schedule is completely screwed up and it's so hard to get it back on track.

I went to bed at 7pm. I got out of bed at 2am. (So 7hrs of sleep, but I woke up several times). And 4 hours later I'm exhausted and want to go back to bed.

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I still get tired and could take a nap every few hours. I have reflux for the first time in my life. Not fun. Usually it is happening right when I'm trying to go to sleep at night.