dtd???

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shroutbabymama85's picture
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dtd???

ok, gotta ask as a first time mom, how soon is too soon to dtd with your dh?

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If you feel good and didn't have any major trauma during delivery, you should be fine. A lot of women don't even wait for their 6 week check-up to go for it.

Personally, I know my parts could handle it at this point, but life is just getting in the way a bit. Since we're living in my parents house and sharing a room/beds with our kids, it's too hard to find the time and place. We should be able to fix that pronto when we get back to Laos. That said, I'm surprised I even want to already. After DD was born I had NO desire to DTD for AT LEAST 3 months. Hormones man... crazy.

Anyway, seeing as Jayden is just about 6 weeks old, you should be having your 6 week check-up soon, right? The doc will tell you you're good to go at that appt, if you want to wait.

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I waited 3 weeks PP with my first, and about same this time too. I gotta be honest I do it for my husband at this point. Breastfeeding sleep deprivation and stretch marks kill my sex drive. But I figure I better use it or lose it. Ha.

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"jubileerose" wrote:

I waited 3 weeks PP with my first, and about same this time too. I gotta be honest I do it for my husband at this point. Breastfeeding sleep deprivation and stretch marks kill my sex drive. But I figure I better use it or lose it. Ha.

amen^^^^i did once around the 3 week range....didn't want to. he knew he jumped the gun so we waited until last week and t
wice since then. my followup is the 23rd, yeah sometime this week. uggh not looking forward to it. dh apparently didn't try not to be protective when we did all 3 times.

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I waited several months after my first, 2 weeks after my 2nd and 10 days after my 3rd. I think it's whenever you feel ready. This time I felt so guilty after only waiting 10 days I asked my midwife (after the fact) if it was okay to dtd. She said yes, if you feel up to it it's totally fine. What an embarrassing question to ask here though...

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"knhoward" wrote:

I waited several months after my first, 2 weeks after my 2nd and 10 days after my 3rd. I think it's whenever you feel ready. This time I felt so guilty after only waiting 10 days I asked my midwife (after the fact) if it was okay to dtd. She said yes, if you feel up to it it's totally fine. What an embarrassing question to ask here though...

That is amazing to me. I cannot fathom wanting anything more than a peri bottle and toilet paper coming near my parts that soon after birth!

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My dr told me not until after my 6 week apt but I'm ready! I waited with my first the same time but with him my midwife said when you feel up to it!

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"Marite13" wrote:

That is amazing to me. I cannot fathom wanting anything more than a peri bottle and toilet paper coming near my parts that soon after birth!

I had no tears and the bruising had healed...let me tell you though, it wasn't the best sex I ever had as my girl parts were WAY stretched out (I know, sorry TMI)

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oh thank god i'm not alone in this. it's been lurking in the back of my mind to ask but being that dh didn't even try to protect us from getting pg again, i didn't want to mention it to anyone. dreading going for the followup-keep my fingers crossed that he didn't knock me up again. uggh. but just in case i'll be prepared too. not to tmi but only bled 6 days, went a couple of weeks nothing, spotted very light for 2 days (like very light) and now 2 weeks after the spotting- hmm nothing. and wasn't breasfeeding that much in the last few weeks, i feel like i should ask when i go in...don't want to but will!

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"Marite13" wrote:

That is amazing to me. I cannot fathom wanting anything more than a peri bottle and toilet paper coming near my parts that soon after birth!

LOL Mara! Me too! Add in some Tucks pads to that, too. Wink But then, I had an episiotomy from front to back, so... I guess it really does just depend on the type of tearing you have!

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"JDBabyHopes" wrote:

LOL Mara! Me too! Add in some Tucks pads to that, too. Wink But then, I had an episiotomy from front to back, so... I guess it really does just depend on the type of tearing you have!

i only had 2 second degree tears and let me tell ya....it hurt like no other. oh the worst was at the hospital where i had to stand just to pee. i hurt from front to back. had more pain from the catheder they gave me though. i can only imagine an episiotomy or let alone jayden being more than 5lbs when he came out....just glad he's growing well now.

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Uh, and I didn't even tear at all! But yeah, roids the size of your head wipe out the sexy pretty quick! Although, to be fair, the roids were WAY down by 10 days pp...but STILL...

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"Marite13" wrote:

Uh, and I didn't even tear at all! But yeah, roids the size of your head wipe out the sexy pretty quick! Although, to be fair, the roids were WAY down by 10 days pp...but STILL...

'

Ouch ouch! Hope they are better now

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"Marite13" wrote:

Uh, and I didn't even tear at all! But yeah, roids the size of your head wipe out the sexy pretty quick! Although, to be fair, the roids were WAY down by 10 days pp...but STILL...

I still have two from Sam! When do they go away for good?!

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Um...there is no way I am letting anything near that part of my body for awhile. Considering it is still tender to sit on hard surfaces and I still have stitches hanging out, noooooo wayyyy!

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I was a c-section mommy but we still waited until 6 weeks PP. I could have gone much longer but DH was whining. Even now at 11 weeks PP we only do it maybe once a week... I just have no desire.

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Oh I should say, I was DREADING it. It hurt so bad the first time we DTD after my DD, even though she was a section too. This time around it didn't hurt at all.

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"sometimes" wrote:

Oh I should say, I was DREADING it. It hurt so bad the first time we DTD after my DD, even though she was a section too. This time around it didn't hurt at all.

our first time again wasn't the best. i coulda did without but to honest had a lazy day, got tired of dh whining too so instead of just pleasing him i gave in. now-a-days not so bad. i swear i could go celibate way longer than dh. i won that battle lol again.

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Jen, I had one from my DD that never went away. I think its still there now- but it doesn't hurt or bother me at all.

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"sometimes" wrote:

Oh I should say, I was DREADING it. It hurt so bad the first time we DTD after my DD, even though she was a section too. This time around it didn't hurt at all.

Thank Goodness. and thank you for posting this. I've been in the mood but kinda scared.

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Roids and stitches and stretching, oh my! my husband was asking for it the night we got back from the hospital. Men! Wink

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Just make sure you use lube, even if you think you don't need it. I think that made somewhat of a difference this time around. Oh and Jen, I had one after my DD and it still bleeds sometimes but it doesn't hurt anymore.

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Im following the rules. 6 weeks. Im not sure Im "in the mood" or not, but I sure miss intimacy with my DH. It is even nice just to have a big hug without the belly in the way. Smile But, with the baby sleeping between us at night I even miss sleeping closely since 3 months preggo - whether we dtd or not.

He is not pressuring me at all though. Even if he has expressed that he is looking forward to the 6 week green light.

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I want to know how you have the energy at this point!! By the time we get DD to bed, then I nurse and get DS to sleep, I want to pass out myself.

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"jubileerose" wrote:

Roids and stitches and stretching, oh my! my husband was asking for it the night we got back from the hospital. Men! Wink

did you get the ole guilt trip too. lol.dh did to me, and i told him hey i know it came out of me but i didn't end up that way by myself. and as far as dtd i told him, you will get yours, and just remember this when i'm cleared, YOU OWE ME. lol. thought about it for a minute and could careless about dtd. also too also right after i told him he owed me, i would be content with a good ole back rub and not a half a** one that only lasts 5 minutes, doesn't do the job and in the end wasn't worth the hassle. lmao.

but i caved after not getting much sleep for almost 72 hours and figured it'd shut him up. yeah it worked but didn't think about being careful until after that time. mentioned it to him, and he seemed concerned at the time, but didn't be a concern the other 2 times. he said jokingly before we better watch out before jayden gets a brother or sister laughing. hmm but still ceased to be careful after that. i'm glad hes ok with having another...and i could be ok with getting knocked up again, but good grief talk about no break between the 2. lol. will mention not being safe on my followup appointment, and see where that goes. i'm content either way.