I've been hit by the hormone truck.... fallen out of the hormone tree, and hit every branch on the way down.... I am NOT coping.
I have cried like 3 times in the last two days, and it's been like SOBBING. I almost TOTALLY lost it on DD last night (bedtime, she was being COMPLETELY unreasonable), and I seriously had to put her down and walk away before I did something I would regret. And then I regretted it even though I didn't even do it, and sat and held her and cried in her hair for like a good 1/2 hour after she fell asleep.
I've never wanted to be anything as much as I wanted to be a mother... but it is totally taking it out of me. And I still wouldn't change anything... I want to continue to be a SAHM, and I want more kids... but these last few days have me stepping back and wondering if I shouldn't be committed and have my tubes tied at the same time.
My DH is out of town right now, but my ILs are here- a total God send. It just worked out this way that he had a school trip during the time they planned to be here. Not so good for them (as they don't get to see their son as much), but wonderful for me, for as much as they are helping me, etc. But I guess I also feel like I have to prove something to them, or can't show them my cracks or something... so it's taking it out of me even more to try to be on good behavior with them, or something.
Is it just me?