First of all, thanks ladies!! All of your advice really helped me to see that in the end, he didn't mean any harm, and that communication really is important, even when we're mad!
Final conclusion, we are both to stubborn for our own good. lol
After two days of sleeping on the couch for him, and soon to be three, he finally came upstairs and asked if we could talk. The first thing he said was, "I don't know why I didn't think it would hurt your feelings, and I really don't know why I thought it was a good idea to ask advice from (his cousins wife). I'm sorry, and I've been trying to figure out a way to say it without sounding like a big jerk".. He went on to explain, without breath practically, that it was just the most exciting thing that has ever happened to him. That every time he gets around people, he cannot help but feel like the news is just going to, "burst out". Then after he told people, he would feel guilty because he knew I wasn't ready to say anything yet.. but for some reason he just couldn't help him self! Promising to not go around people again until I was ready to talk, cause he doesn't trust himself
As he spoke, my 2-3 day 'prem-a-frown' slowly turned into a grin. Somehow him telling everyone and their mother, didn't seem to bug me as much anymore. I wasn't sad about him going behind my back and I wasn't feeling the anger that goes along with that sadness. The pure and genuine joy in his voice, even as he was saying sorry, was just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. Infact, his happiness somehow spread over to me, and now I can't wait to start telling everyone too! Who would have thought?! lol
So I guess, after two years of being together, if this is the biggest fight we've ever had.. then something tells me we are going to be alright.
*I posted this in July, but really need all the advice I can get*
I need to know if I am just being a sensitive pregnant lady or if this is a valid reason for me to be :angry4:!!
Plus, I really need to vent this out before I kill him...
Okay, so this is my Fiance's first baby, and needless to say, he is THRILLED! Which I get, and am so happy about. It was Halloween the day we found out, and we had his family coming over to take the kids trick or treating that night. Now, I was still in shock from the news.. I've been wedding planning for the last 8 months, and was not expecting this at all. It was less than three hours before anyone got there, and I had to pull myself together enough to get through the evening. As we were getting ready, I asked him to please not say anything to anyone. For one, I still had not digested it myself. Two, I wanted to tell my mom first. And three, I wanted to go to the Doctors and see where we are and how things are going! He agreed and we went on with the night..
But then, no less than two hours of them being there, I'm upstairs with the kids and I hear my future MIL start crying, and his two brothers say "Wow, really? That's awesome"! My heart dropped... I couldn't believe he told them. After they left, I burst in to tears, explaining to him that I know it's just his family, I know he is happy, I know this is a good thing.. but really?? We have not even known for a full day yet. He said he was SO sorry, and promised that would be the last of it. HA..
Fast forward two days, and I am at work. He sends me a text message asking if it was ok that he told his best friend and his wife too? AGAIN, I told him that NO, it was not okay! AGAIN, I told him how I'm still not comfortable with telling people yet and didn't appreciate him telling me AFTER he already told them. Again, I told him how upset he made me. AGAIN, I said, though tears!, to please not tell anymore people until after the doctors appointment. And AGAIN, he says okay, and claims to understand where I am coming from. HA..
Now here we are, and I am crying again. Trying to figure out if I am just being crazy and sensitive, or if he is really wrong. Last night, he went over to his cousins house to watch football. I didn't even think twice about him going because now we had the conversation twice about not telling people. When he got home last night, I casually asked him if he said anything, almost as a joke, because OBVIOUSLY he wouldn't... man was I WRONG!! When he didn't respond, I knew instantly! Come to find out, not only did he tell his cousin, but all of his cousins friends and wives that were at the house!! As he said it, I felt like I was loosing my mind?! I just stared at him in total confusion?! Thinking 'ARE YOU F*&%^&% SERIOUS????????????? Then he goes on to tell me that his "cousins wife thinks" I am over reacting!! He is not telling everyone like I think he is, and that I should be happy!!?? As he's talking, I am still in total shock. Not only did he tell MORE people, but now he is telling these people that I don't want to tell people and getting advice on how he should deal with me??!
From there, I just got up, walked upstairs, and have not spoke to him since. I cannot cry about it anymore. I cannot explain how I feel anymore.. it's all been said. At this point, I am just so lost. I feel like he is not respecting my wishes of not saying anything, and I feel like his being happy and excited, trumps my wishes of wanting to wait. This has never happened with us, we really never fight. But there is something about the way he is not hearing me in this situation that has me really furious/sad/hurt/frustrated. It's only been a week since we found out, and Lord only knows who knows now?! I am excited, and happy about this baby. But it's being over shadowed by the fact that I cannot get him to hear me!! What if something happens, and God forbid I Miscarry this baby?! What if we go to this first appointment and there is nothing there? I mean so much can happen and he really does not seem to care...
Am I crazy? Over-reacting? What should I do from here? Any help or advice from the already married would help me out a lot right now! I hate feeling like this and really want him to understand me. Could I approach him differently? Or is he really just that DUMB?? Grr.. :bawl::bawl: