Announcing on FB (long)

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078
Announcing on FB (long)

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm thinking of spilling the beans on FB at 11 weeks...we'll have seen the baby again and be leaving for a family trip where we'll pretty much HAVE to tell DH's extended family so we've decided to tell my family that they can quit being tight lipped at that point as I know it'll be hard for them to keep the secret with Thanksgiving a few days away. That being said, I won't have internet/cell service that whole week (going on a cruise) so I'm afraid a family member will find out and comment about it on FB w/o my knowing causing people to wonder why they are hearing "through the grapevine" instead of my having said it. SO I figure it's better to come out and say it rather than risk that even if it is a few weeks earlier than I would've liked to leak the news.

My other option is to send a mass email to extended family before we leave telling them the news and asking if they'd please refrain from mentioning it on Facebook as we don't plan on announcing it there for a few more weeks. Thoughts/opinions??

So aside from that little dilemma, I have a friend on FB whom I am not at all close with but know from high school who has made it very clear via status posts that she is struggling with infertility. She already has one child who is older than my oldest and it seems they've been trying to have another for quite some time. Again, this isn't someone I'm good friends with so this info is just based on comments she's made, one very recently about how depressed she is. I'm really struggling because I know it'll totally bum her out and I hate to be the cause of that, but I also don't feel like we're good enough friends that it would be better to PM her beforehand or something. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Just not sure what the "politically correct" thing is to do here! Excluding her from the announcement post won't work since we have many mutual friends and she'll see it anyway and probably be more offended. *Sigh* At a loss here.

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

Post it and leave. If anyone complains that they found out through facebook or the grapevine tell them you are sorry, but didn't know how to announce it without it being weird.

Khafnerrn's picture
Joined: 11/04/12
Posts: 23

I already have 2 ultrasound pics, so I mailed them to family I wanted to know in a more personal matter. I did that instead of calling bc for me, being in a new relationship, and being very outspoken bout not liking babies, I didn't think people would regard it as good news. Then. In a lapse in judgement I posted it on fb already. For me I needed more support, but i was still planning on waiting till 12/13 weeks.
As for the friend, I have a similiar situation and felt crazy guilty- again bc she's in a nice marriage and has been trying for years and this is a massive oops. However, she is still supportive and pm me saying congrats and all that jazz.

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

I probably won't have a big Facebook announcement. When people find out it will get around! I have some friends that haven't had a big announcement (ones that I don't see often) and all of he sudden it's like, " wow, you re 24 weeks pregnant!?". It doesn't hurt my feelings though, I am not here type to get my feeling hurt easily.

PatienceW's picture
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857

I havent posted on facebook and am not sure when to. I ahve a friend that just got preg and hte day she found out posted it. I was thinking of waiting and adding it to my facebook "Im thankful for" for hte month of November just can't decide when to break the news. family all knows and some friends. work is figuring it out and its a matter of time before someone DOEs post it. I almost want to post it soon so its from me and not someone who knows/figured it out spilling. I did have it get out bc mom told the whole church so we rushed to tell family and close friends before it popped up (Again sooner than we wnateD) and I sent a text message out to friends called some family, ad messged others on facebook. Do what you feel is right! I have a friend that I was worried about telling as she just recently had multiple miscarriages and may never be able to have kids. She was ok with it because she knew we were planning on trying, and she said we already had Ben when we met her. However I know it still pains her. ITs a tough call. again she and I are GOOD friends.

PatienceW's picture
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857

I do also have another friend who was a high school friend who is struggling with infertility. She is going through treatments and just recently got her trigger shot. I am hoping this is it for her and I am almost tempted to wait until I hear some news on that, as I know it would upset her knowing simply bc she recently made a comment about everyone else getting preg.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I say go ahead and announce at 11 weeks on FB. If it were a close friend, I would PM her, but I'm not sure that's necessary if it's just an old acquaintance from HS. Since so many people will know by then, it's better you announce yourself on FB and not have someone come and announce it for you Wink

I made my FB announcement last time at 12 weeks when I had my U/S. I made the U/S pic my profile pic and made my status a cute little song that I rewrote lyrics to to announce.

This time I don't know when I will announce because I don't even know how far I am Smile I would love to be able to hide it from my family until Christmas! Since we moved away from family it would be easy to hide it since we won't see them. BUT if I am showing a lot, people here will know. I will have to tell them to keep it off FB!

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

I would go ahead and post it too. We will be doing the same around 11-12 weeks, but most family will know by then

That is sweet of you to be worried about her feelings, but I'm sure she will be happy for you. I am worried similarly because my cousin has been trying for a year itch no luck and we were blessed to get a GDP our first month of trying. I know she will be happy for me, but I am still concerned for her feelings.

Joined: 08/25/10
Posts: 385

I never announce on FB. I know lots of people who don't. You just know or you don't. If they are your friends IRL now, they find out, if not who cares. When someone posted something referring to it last time, I actually deleted it. When the baby was born, I actually had some comments to the effect of - ummm apparently you had a baby?!?! I would do the mass e-mail to those you want to know, and ask not to make comments because you are not announcing yet.

As far as your friend with infertility, unfortunately it's becoming all too common, and I guarantee you have other friends/acquaintances who are having similar issues. It is impossible to cater to everyone's feelings. This is good news, and you're allowed to treat it as such without sugarcoating it for everyone you are not even close to!

Joined: 03/07/05
Posts: 1595

Just go with your gut on this one - whatever feels the most comfortable to you. I don't have facebook, but in the past when I did, I never announced... maybe that's because I didn't even tell my family last time until I was around 28 weeks... and my dad didn't find out until he came to visit a week before the baby was born. That's just me though. My family thinks I'm a freak of nature for having more than the "standard 1-2 kids" and aren't exactly overjoyed.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

"pollo_la" wrote:

My family thinks I'm a freak of nature for having more than the "standard 1-2 kids" and aren't exactly overjoyed.

Can't please them all I suppose! Glad that doesn't stop you from having however many you want. My mom thinks I'm insane to have a third so I sort of understand. She only had me and doesn't get why anyone would want more than one. :roll:

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'll pro ably go ahead as planned as long as things go smoothly for the next few weeks.