BTDT moms, age gap

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MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118
BTDT moms, age gap

If you are a BTDT mom, What will be the age gap between your oldest child and the baby? Or between the previous child and this next one.

DS's 6th birthday is next month, he has been asking for a sibling since he realized he could have them about two and a half years ago.

Che_Bella_Vita's picture
Joined: 09/07/12
Posts: 262

My oldest DS is 6 and my little guy is 3

KateyD32's picture
Joined: 01/16/12
Posts: 78

My DS just turned 3, so if we get pregnant soon there will be about 4 years between them. Not ideally what I wanted but everything works out for a reason!

PatienceW's picture
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857

DS turned 3 in July. so looking at 4 yrs depending on how soon we get preg.

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

Part of me wishes that DH would have chosen to have kids closer together (I came from a large family of 7 kids and we are all pretty close in age), I worry that even though DS wants a sibling he isn't going to connect as well as if they were closer in age.

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

My oldest will be 6 and my second will be almost 4 1/2 when this baby is born. Spacing for my kids have pretty much worked out the way I have wanted it to.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

Robbie will be 8 next June...

Mary - I was told by Robbie's kindergarten teacher that kids aged 5-6 really get into having a new baby and want to help.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

My oldest DS just turned 4 the end of July and youngest DS is 1.5. So 2.5 year age gap between them. They play together pretty well now; I hope that continues as they get older.

I really wanted an 18 to 24 month separation but it didnt go as I planned. The next one will be 2.5 years younger than DS2 if it happens soon.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

DS would be about 4 and DD about 2 1/2 if I'm pregnant this cycle. They are 17 months 16 days apart and baby #3 would be 2 1/2 years from the younger one. So very close spacing between DS and DD and a larger gap between DD and #3.

My sister and I were 6 years apart and we weren't friends until we were adults. I think it honestly depends on how the parents approach it and the actual personalities of the children.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

Mel, I totally agree...I believe those two things are the biggest factors in sibling relationships.

FourMaybeMore's picture
Joined: 03/09/12
Posts: 724

If I get pregnant soon, my daughters will be nearly 8 and 5.5 when he/she is born. I have no doubt they will be a great help!!

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

I'll also add - please don't push the older sibling to help if they don't want to. It can create resentment. If they want to help, then let them. Do encourage the older sibling that the baby is fun to play with and makes silly faces etc. Get them involved, but don't push too hard.... Just my opinions of course but I think the biggest problem with my sister and I was that I was always made to help out, pushed to play with her a little too often etc. I was very much an introvert and needed my own space which my parents didn't facilitate. And as a disclaimer - I do/did (mom is passed away) love my parents and my sister very much. I just wish my sister and I were closer when younger. Sad

Anngie60's picture
Joined: 01/28/07
Posts: 630

Only 16mo between my two rascals Smile

Joined: 05/04/09
Posts: 1316

We are getting close to a 3 1/2 year age gap which is more than I wanted. I think we will try to have #2 and #3 closer together. I think a bigger gap is good for us right now though since dh is still in school, I work etc.

There was a 6 year gap between me and middle sister and then an 11 year gap between me and baby sister. I will say that I remember when each of them was born and it was fun and exciting for me but I was not close to my middle sister until recently and i'm still not close with my younger sister, who is only 15. I was made to babysit way too damn much and that created some resentment for sure.

kramsgirl's picture
Joined: 03/22/08
Posts: 81

"Clarkton" wrote:

My oldest DS just turned 4 the end of July and youngest DS is 1.5. So 2.5 year age gap between them. They play together pretty well now; I hope that continues as they get older.

I really wanted an 18 to 24 month separation but it didnt go as I planned. The next one will be 2.5 years younger than DS2 if it happens soon.

Lynn,
Our kids are about the same age (and I recognize you from the 2/11 board). I'm relieved to see someone else that will have 3 children 4 years old and under. I've been getting nervous about how I'll be able to handle 3 children. I think for me it's one of those things that I just have to jump into and it'll all work out in the end.

If I get pregnant this cycle my kids will be 4 1/2 years and almost 2 1/2 years.

LaurenE's picture
Joined: 06/19/10
Posts: 854

Hi Melissa! I'm from the 2/11 board too. Smile Mine are 11, 8 and 1.5 so about 2.5 years between my youngest and this one IF it happens this cycle.

angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

DS will be 5 in May, very sad about the age gap but I have no control of that

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

"kramsgirl" wrote:

Lynn,
Our kids are about the same age (and I recognize you from the 2/11 board). I'm relieved to see someone else that will have 3 children 4 years old and under. I've been getting nervous about how I'll be able to handle 3 children. I think for me it's one of those things that I just have to jump into and it'll all work out in the end.

If I get pregnant this cycle my kids will be 4 1/2 years and almost 2 1/2 years.

Oh I so hear you about having 3 kids 4 and under! I'm nervous too. Went to the playground this morning and DS was all over the place and DD was going a different direction. It's not going to be easy once #3 is mobile! But by then DS should be about 5 and DD 3 1/2 so hopefully it won't be so bad and DS will actually listen sometimes when I ask him to stop! ha ha

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

We are approaching a 3.5 year gap. Hopefully she'll be more of a help than a hindrance at that age!!!

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

"kramsgirl" wrote:

Lynn,
Our kids are about the same age (and I recognize you from the 2/11 board). I'm relieved to see someone else that will have 3 children 4 years old and under. I've been getting nervous about how I'll be able to handle 3 children. I think for me it's one of those things that I just have to jump into and it'll all work out in the end.

If I get pregnant this cycle my kids will be 4 1/2 years and almost 2 1/2 years.

:wavehello: Yes, I remember you. I totally hear you on just jumping in and hoping it'll all work out. Especially, with #3 if I had my way I'd rather have gone ahead and taken the plunge earlier. I knew I wanted 3 so even though it wouldn't be easy I just wanted to get past having babies and move forward with a complete family.
I'd love to share another bb with you, hopefully this one Wink

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3014

My oldest is 4y9m, middle is 3y1m, and youngest is 17m. They are all 20 months apart, so this will be longer spacing for us, whenever it happens. If I end up in June the youngest will be 26 months when the baby is born. We were hoping for closer spacing.

for those of you nervous, 3 kids under 4 isn't too bad. DS1 was 3y4m and DS2 20m when DS3 was born. It was busy, and tough at times, but not too bad. If I get pregnant this cycle I'll have 3 under 4 again, but only for a couple months.

Noelle_2007's picture
Joined: 11/18/08
Posts: 50

My DD will be almost 3 1/2 when this baby is born!

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

My first two are 23 months apart, this one will be about the same. I LOVE the close age gap between my oldest two, but my 2nd was a very easy/sleepy baby (esp compared to my super high maintenance DD!) so that made the first few months much easier. We'll see if I get that lucky again...