Drive

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Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169
Drive

So how is everyone's sex drive. Have you noticed difference between your pregnancies? Anything related to the baby's sex?

With DD I had a lower drive and this time it seems to be more...very odd...

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I have the drive, but obviously not the go ahead to use it Sad

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

Mine is pretty low during pregnancy...poor DH. Has been for all three.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I have never had a high sex drive.....and I can't say that pregnancy has ever changed that for me....poor DH.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

I'll add on after reading Sandra's post that I'm similar and don't have a huge drive when not pg either. Definitely worse when pg but it isn't like a dramatic change!

Sandra: 4 kids We've gotten some funny comments to that effect since announcing this one (third in

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Oh don't get me wrong, I don't normally have a strong desire at all...and less so with DD. It seems a bit more now which is odd. Perhaps I'm just more relaxed with #2 or it does have something to do with hormones.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

LOL, people probably do think we are sex addicts LOL. DH probably wishes that was true.....

Maybe I will have my hormone levels checked after this pregnancy. I have just never been one to really EVER crave sex.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

I've never been one to crave sex, either. However, I talk about it alot because DH wants it - but is hesitant to ask because I'm pregnant and he knows I feel like crap alot. So, he won't ask because he doesn't want me to feel bad about saying no. He's being a total sweetheart, BUT I'm not going to turn him down, whether I want to or not. So, if I talk about it like I want it (which, generally, I don't) then he gets on board. I know it's stupid, but ..that's how things roll around here..lol

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

Yeah never have a very big sex drive, and it gets worse with pregnancy. It definitely frustrates DH, and he thinks I am purposefully holding out on him. But I just have no desire, except every once in awhile. That being said, I do go along and let him do what he wants to do a few times a week.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

"sandraleigh" wrote:

Maybe I will have my hormone levels checked after this pregnancy. I have just never been one to really EVER crave sex.

Ya, I've often thought about doing that. I am normally a very logical person and I'm not really guided by emotions. Not what you'd expect from a girl but I guess that's why I'm a software developer. Logic is important! I think perhaps that lack of emotion has to do with a hormone issue. When I'm pg I'm like a real girl...crying at silly things. LOL. I sort of worry if I get this 'fixed' I'll suck at my job and cry all the time...so I"m not sure I want to know. Blum 3

Jessica: My hubby never asks anymore. PG or not. If I didn't say something then we'd never DTD. It's annoying! I mean, constantly being asked an not wanting to would probably be more annoying though. He's pretty much ALWAYS game...so he'd be asking me every 20 seconds I bet. Blum 3

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

My DH still asks. I feel obligated to at least do it 3-4 times a week, otherwise he gets ornery Smile It's not that I don't enjoy it at all, but I would NEVER be the one to request it.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

3-4 times a week? LOL. You're a saint. That's like TTC time for me. Blum 3

Joined: 08/25/10
Posts: 385

Seriously - Leah and Sandra you guys are awesome wives! It's definitely higher this time around - but I'm still too tired most of the time. However, we are comparing to not being able to AT ALL while pgn with DD because it was too painful. And now that I'm starting to get my energy back, I'm sure I will start giving in a little more. I definitely turn DH down ALL THE TIME. I'm awful I know.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

I had a friend recommend imitating it once a week to boost your desire. I almost never used to initiate it but it seriously did work for me. But TTC killed that trend. We'll work on that again after baby!

DH says now that I have what I want (preggo) that I no longer need him. Men!

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

LMAO, if I didn't initiate we'd never DTD and then that would be my fault somehow. Blum 3

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

"akpufa" wrote:

DH says now that I have what I want (preggo) that I no longer need him. Men!

My DH says the exact same thing.

It doesn't help that seeing my belly getting bigger turns him on even more! He loves the way I look when I am pregnant.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

"Momma Leah" wrote:

It doesn't help that seeing my belly getting bigger turns him on even more! He loves the way I look when I am pregnant.

Aweeee, that's cute..and a bit weird. Well, I'm not as open minded as some I guess. LOL

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

"Momma Leah" wrote:

My DH says the exact same thing.

It doesn't help that seeing my belly getting bigger turns him on even more! He loves the way I look when I am pregnant.

DH is the same way, but i have always had a high drive.... so its weird for him not to be able to this time around. He kinda got used to it after i had el because I had problems and was in physical therapy for it.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Heather - when DH and I were together maybe a year or so, he even said to me that I must have a high sex drive. I was like...what? He says I can have sex all the time and totally be fine and he doesn't need it everyday. I was gobsmacked! I could probably have sex maybe once a month and be fine! LOL I guess part of me is scared that if I don't bring it up or initiate it or whatever, he might go looking elsewhere. I know that's completely irrational, he's never given me a reason to think that...but... :shrug: that's what I think.

Joined: 03/07/05
Posts: 1595

I don't know what a normal sex drive is! I definitely have no sex drive when I'm pregnant. It's usually pretty low when I'm nursing too. Just when I start to get it back (when my cycle returns) I get pregnant again. So... oh well. I still make sure DH is satisfied when he comes calling, but I'm definitely not hunting him down.

PatienceW's picture
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857

I completely have NO drive at all. and quite frankly it irriates me when DH even tries to touch me. Im that irritable this time. I used to have a HIGH drive before we got married... then it went downhill... and after DS it REALLY went downhill. The full time job and 3 yr old doesnt help bc Im exhausted all the time. and at this point even the times that I HAVE had the desire to... I would get irritated by the slightest thing (like DH always asks if he's "getting some" and Im at the point a back rub, or something like that when he DOESNT jsut want some would turn me on more) I've also been sick since October and that kills it,...ya know the inablity to breathe, constant cough....... not a turn on for me! I was loing my drive before this ttc time.... mainly bc we think I have exercise induced asthma. so everytime we'd dtd I'd not be able to breathe. and the inhaler I had didnt help. so that to me is a general turn off......... SIGH. DH would be so jealous of you ladies that are dtd 3-4 times a week! Im going to ahve to get better and give in this weekend (irriated or not) because he was upset he didnt get any on new years...and his birthday is coming up.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Aweeee Patience! I hear ya. Being sick and tired never helps. We work from home so it's often easy to make time when no kids are around and we aren't exhausted. Most days by bed time I'm shot for any of that. Sad

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

Well if I didn't 3-4 times a week, I know our marriage would have major problems. Intimacy is probably the biggest "Issue" that would ever cause trouble for us. DH believes (and I DO agree, i just have a hard time admitting it Smile ) that a healthy marriage involves healthy intimacy. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I get a break!

Obviously when I get enormous and huge I won't feel quite as bad about saying no if I am particularly uncomfortable and grumpy.

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

I normally have almost no drive. It's a little stronger this pregnancy but I'm still too sick to do anything about it.

Joined: 03/07/05
Posts: 1595

I completely agree with you Sandra!

LaurenE's picture
Joined: 06/19/10
Posts: 854

I agree with Sandra ... We normally dtd 2-3 x a week and it would probably be more except hubby works evenings/nights and I work from home during the day, but I do daycare and can't exactly go dtd with a bunch of kids here. Right now, however it's been closer to 1 time a week, but hubby is pretty understanding aaaaaaand he doesn't want to get puked on. As soon as m/s is past we will resume our normal loving. Wink And I have to say the more we dtd the more I want to dtd.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

LMAO, he doesn't want to get puked on!

nidia's picture
Joined: 06/08/07
Posts: 1812

Mine isn't very high.. that's for sure and I think that's the biggest issue in our marriage too. The more we DTD the more I want to DTD too.. but it's hard to get started sometimes. Especially right now being pregnant and tired all the time. I just want to relax and SLEEP! I get frustrated with myself sometimes honestly bc I want to DTD and I even think about it but when it's bed time.. all I want is to sleep. I have 3 good friends that all have high sex drive.. I envy them sometimes lol my DH is always game too!

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

It is also the biggest issue for us. And even at the rate we are goin DH is still complaining! Part Of the complaining is the fact that I am not that much into it, but I tell him that he should be thankful that we are doing what we are!

nidia's picture
Joined: 06/08/07
Posts: 1812

"Momma Leah" wrote:

It is also the biggest issue for us. And even at the rate we are goin DH is still complaining! Part Of the complaining is the fact that I am not that much into it, but I tell him that he should be thankful that we are doing what we are!

Yes, Leah.. yes! My DH will tell me to talk to him dirty or take charge more.. I am just not like that though and never have been. Sometimes I think about it and never act on it.. like I'm embarrassed or something. Weird, huh?

angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

sex drive sucks, i think we've had sex probably a total of 3 times since i got pregnant, i avoided sex until my first appt at 8 weeks just to be on the safe side, and I've just not been feeling well with colds, sinus infection and now a freaking yeast infection from the antibiotics for the sinus infection. I have no desire anyways, with DS I had a really high sex drive but i also felt my best then so that could be it