DH & I had a long talk about the gender last night and I decided it means more to him so I'm giving in. I feel like if it's the one way he can connect to the pregnancy, it's hard to take that away from him since I obviously am experiencing everything else. We discussed only him finding out but he is really afraid he'll blow it and I don't want him to feel bad about it forever if he does. So decision made. Plus we think it'll be easier on DD if she has a gender to connect the baby (she is convinced it's a girl so if it's a boy, at least she'll have time to adjust). I'm already "over" it and starting to get excited about finding out. It just isn't worth dwelling on now that the decision is made.
However, we did figure out that DH is probably not even going to be able to make the u/s appointment due to work so if he doesn't, I'll just have her take the gender shot pic and put it in an envelope so DH & I can open it together later. We're actually leaving town later that day too with his family so we might have to wait until we get home.