guessing its not good if (vent)

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PatienceW's picture
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857
guessing its not good if (vent)

I have a breakdown complete with uncontrollable sobbing, to the point I couldnt breathe before we go out the door somewhere. That should have been the first sign to stay home! (It was over stupid stuff... that DH does all the time even before the kids--gets himself ready and gets out the door then sits in the car waiting and blames ME for being late. usually he's not bad about things but this is the one thing that drives me nuts-when ti was just us he'd get himself ready and go sit in the car while I locked up the house, turned off everything that needed to be off etc. after the kids same thing only I had to add getting the kids ready. today he was holding DS2 feedig him while I was trying to get "me" aka EVERYONE but dh) packed/ready to go. He asks me to take DS2 so he can go change and we can get out hte door.(he had been spewed on) I said fine and then I guess I could finish getting ready and he asked me "what had I been doing" this set me off bc it was as if he thought I was just twiddling my thumbs or something. our weather went from 90+ yesterday to low 70s today so I had to totally get new extra clothes for everyone in case of accidnts etc. I know he meant completely nothing by it. it just didnt set well today. he then turned off the lights in the house and got ready to take the 2 kdis out the door. great he turned the lights off BUT I WASNT READY....aka now Im in a dark house and cant see what Im doing. this comes across as he's rushing me (which he may or may not have been doing) but by the time I turned the lights back on I had forgotten what I was getting and managed to get back to the bedroom and completely broke down sobbing. out of nowhere. once I could breathe again I tried to finish getting ready... grabbing wipes that hadnt made it to the bag before dh took it outside... burp clothes bc DS2 spits up EVERY time he eats... .a hairbrush bc I hadnt been able to brush my hair all morning... waters for EVERYONE bc dh was kind enough to grab one for hiim for the carride.... then I started sobbing again bc here I was trying to get everything done and DH was sitting in the car not even comng in to check.. and i have been fighting uncontrollable tears since (and that was over 8 hours ago)

DH and I were taking the kids to meet up with their cousins and grandparents for the local fair. We go to the fair every year and last year it was decided that we'd go when the in laws had their other grandkids for the week....NOT a good idea. I should have known based on how the previous day with them went. (we went to the beach and while it was a good time by the time we got home (way way too late) my nerves were shot. that and the fact that DH wanted to go during DS1's nap time (and said "it wouldnt be an issue") after 3 days in a row of no naps for him and being up WAY too late. it wasnt bad until the cousins met up with us which didnt go well becasue the age of the 3 kids and interests when it comes to carnivals/fairs are all different. needless to say im still on the verge of breaking down into tears at the slightest thing. Sorry this is so long. I needed to vent to see if it helped... it didnt.... trying to not cry again as I type. SIGH.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

UGH! That sounds like a really frustrating time, for sure. I probably would have cried too! Does he just not think? How does he react if you speak to him rationally about it later? Like by saying "I was really stressed out this morning trying to get everyone out the door. I sure could have used your help a bit more" or something like that? I know lots of times my hubby doesn't know ALL the things I have to do and so he won't help. If I explain to him what all needs to be done before we leave, then he is more apt to help. Sometimes I'll just tell him I'm feeling overwhelmed and ask him to do a specific task that will help me get done.

On Saturday we went away for 1 night and I had to pack clothes for me and BOTH the kids. DH packed for himself. When we got to the hotel I set up DD's inflatable bed and M's pack n' play. Then when we left I took both down. I was SO ANNOYED. I knew that having a second kid would just mean twice as much work for me. Ugh.

That said, DD was driving me nuts Sunday morning and DH took her swimming at the hotel pool and left me alone with M. Ahhhhhh!

H

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

ZOMG! DH does the same exact thing, except he calls every five minutes to ask what is taking so long. I have started making him wait to lock the sliding glass door after I go out with the kids and he goes out the front door (because "I might drop the baby while trying to manage the stairs" *wink wink*).

I am sorry your day has gone bad, hopefully tomorrow will be better.