I dream of sleep

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Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169
I dream of sleep

Who else isn't getting much sleep? On GOOD nights M is up twice. On bad nights...FIVE times. I'm beyond frustrated when he has me up 1.5-2 hours after the last time. I'm totally at a loss as DD was never this bad.

Who else is sleep deprived?

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

*waves hand wildly* Me! Me! Me! I feel your pain! :bighug:

I believe A is just not going to stop waking to eat until I am able to sleep train her and I know that is going to require some cry it out. I know this can be a controversial topic but I personally am not against it and based on my experience feel strongly that with some babies' temperaments the parent(s) are left with only 2 options. Option 1 continue to feed and/or sooth baby back to sleep for each waking or Option 2 let baby cry it out when they wake until they learn there won't be an option to feed or other interaction and learn to go back to sleep on their own.

Did I create this little monster by having her so close to me at night and feeding on demand? Maybe but I also believe it has a lot to do with the child's temperament b/c my DS2 didn't want to stay in bed with me and even when I tried to nurse him in bed b/c I was too tired to get up and go to his room he would eat, pop off, and start squirming which would escalate to fussing until I moved him back to his own space to sleep.

With DS1 he was a very attached baby and comfort nursed all night long. I mean he was literally attached to me like 90% of the night. It didn't matter how much I soothed and got him off to sleep and waited until he was good and out; as soon as I tried to lay him down he would wake and cry. Finally when he was 8 months old and I was beyond sleep deprived and still trying to function at a full time job I let him cry it out to get him to sleep in his crib. It took pretty much a full hour the first night....the second night he stayed asleep when I laid him down. I continued to nurse him to sleep but after that first night he would go in his crib and sleep with only 1 night waking. Yep, mama just had to communicate that she meant business. Wink

This is why I believe now that if I can get A into her own room and own bed separately that she'll sleep better. Once I get the boys settled where I have a crib to put her in I plan to start putting her down at 8 and then feed her once more before I go to bed; probably around 11. Then if she wakes before 4 am I'm going to send DH in to settle her a bit and lay her back down and if she cries she's going to have to work it out herself and fall back asleep. I'll feed her again after a 5 hr stretch. It's not at all too much to expect them to go 5 hrs at this age...and of course can go longer than that but that's all I'll require right now. Smile

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

I am there with you, but it is mostly insomnia and not Wynn so much. It makes it hard to wake up in the morning, thankfully we homeschool, and I don't have to worry about being up at the a**crack of dawn.

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

Sad DS1 was a terrible sleeper and still is, so I know what it is like. I got up with him ALL THE TIME! Jonah had been waking up a few times, but I let him cry for 5 minutes (I set the timer on my phone to wake me if I fall asleep), if he is still awake I go see about him. After 5 minutes he is normally asleep. You probably can't do it, since you are sharing a room.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

5 hours seems like a LONG time for M to go. I'd be happy with 4 hours based on the kind of sleeper he has been. UGH.

I'm just glad he normally goes back to sleep fairly easily after he wakes to eat.

Last night I was so lucky. I fed him at 11:30pm and then he was out until 3am. Then he was up at 5 and I fed him again. Silly probably. Then he woke again at 6:20 or so (that's when the swearing started) and hubby cuddled him back to sleep.

I don't believe in crying it out at all, but I do believe that you can't get them the SECOND they cry. Personally I prefer to let him fuss a little before I go back in to sooth him. For example today at nap time I put him in the rock n' play and left. Sometimes he goes to sleep on his own, sometimes not. I listened to him talk for a while and it finally escalated to crying. So I went in a after a couple minutes and sang to him and rocked his rock n' play. He was out within minutes of me going in.

I'm not really a fan of sleep training but talking to me in a few more months and we'll see. DD was up 1-2 a night until right before her 1st birthday. I can handle 1-2 times up so it wasn't THAT bad, plus I didn't go back to work until a week after she slept through the night. Having to work while your baby is up 5 times a night would SUCK!

I'm seriously hoping that M starts to sleep better once he starts solids....2 months and we'll see.

I wish we had a bedroom for him. Sigh.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

Yeah, 5 hrs can seem long, especially if he hasn't consistently gone that long yet. But A was going 5 hrs and sometimes more before I went back to work. She also slept in her cosleeper until the early morning feeding. All that went to crap after I went back to work and she initially went on a bottle strike, then started eating all through the night while I am here to nurse. She is taking a bottle much better now but has stuck with the bad night habits. Sad

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

Hugs ladies!

I was right with you a few weeks ago. It was getting so bad that a few times I had to ask my parents to pick up the kids and bring them home because I didn't feel safe driving so tired.

We are much better now. Moving her out of our room has helped alot. Lately she is sleeping 5 - 7 hours at a time. Bad nights are now at 3 hours instead of every hour to 1 1/2 hours up.

Nursing is becoming more difficult the more she is used to the bottle. I still try to nurse her before bed and in the morning. SHe's more receptive to the morning session, I think because she is still a little groggy.

Lately I've been trying to get more sleep, but I'm worried about my supply decreasing and also I just have crazy anxiety when it comes to the kiddos and tend to check on them a few times a night.

Joined: 08/25/10
Posts: 385

I'd LOVE some longer stretches. I get excited about 3 hours! But then he'll wake up at 4 or 5 and soak through his diaper and then be up for an hour and a half. He also goes to bed at 6:30 since he doesn't nap enough and is exhausted by that time. I'd like to get him going to bed a little later so he won't be up during the night... but it hasn't worked so far. We even try letting him stay up for a bit when he first wakes, but he just wants to go back to sleep. And since I want to go to the gym in the mornings (instead of sleeping in like I was) I now have to go to bed around 8:30 just get enough sleep between then and 6:30..... I should probably go nap now.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

Yep, not sleeping much here too. It's ridiculously exhausting parenting 4 kids when you are up 5 times a night, but I guess I don't stress out about it too much because I know it won't last forever!

DS2 ate every 2 hours, morning and night, until he was 6 months old. Then he started sleeping the night with only 1 wakeup, which was wonderful! I'm hoping Ethan is the same. Right now he gets up anywhere from 2-6 times a night. I don't mind it so much since he sleeps with us and just goes right back to sleep afterwards. Now if he ate and then decided to party at 3 am, I would be livid Wink