I feel so bad...

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Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169
I feel so bad...

I feel like such a bad mom this weekend. I have been very hormonal (mostly yesterday) and snapped on DD a couple times. The worse was when I was trying to put her for a late nap yesterday after a birthday party and she wouldn't give me her candy necklace (party treat). Every time I got one of her hands off she grabbed it with the other. Instead of being rational I cracked and tore the thing out of her hand...breaking it. I immediately felt like poop...and was almost in tears. I later cried about it for a good part of her nap time. Yesterday was just wrong wrong wrong. I cried for the first time in front of her too. She kept asking me what was wrong. Sad I was just so emotional. Today is a bit better but I still feel badly for yesterday.

The other thing I feel terrible about is that it really bugs me when baby moves! How ridiculous is that? I loved it when DD moved...but right now I feel so busy and when baby moves around and makes me feel uncomfortable I just wish he/she would just go back to sleep. Then I feel badly for feeling that way. I'm not sure why I feel like this...it's odd. Perhaps because I'm so focused on DD and when I was pregnant with her I was focused on being pg?

Sigh...ya, so this weekend has been a bit of a write off. Sad

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I'm sorry u feel this way. U did an awesome job with her pirate outfit!

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I don't think a day goes by where I don't have a moment that I feel like a terrible mom. Parenting is HARD HARD work. Oftentimes I think, "What the heck am I doing having 4 kids????" I am not a patient person by nature. I think that is why God decided I should keep having kids - so I could keep working on this virtue that I lack!

Don't be too hard on yourself! 3 year olds are tough nuts to crack! They take a lot of energy and a lot of patience and heaven knows a mother doesn't always have those things.

When I have a bad mommy moment, it always helps me to apologize to my kids and tell them that even grown ups make bad choices sometimes, and everybody makes mistakes. A nice kiddie hug is often what will soften my heart and bring some calm feelings to the room.

ILoveMyMiniMe's picture
Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 2333

"sandraleigh" wrote:

I don't think a day goes by where I don't have a moment that I feel like a terrible mom. Parenting is HARD HARD work. Oftentimes I think, "What the heck am I doing having 4 kids????" I am not a patient person by nature. I think that is why God decided I should keep having kids - so I could keep working on this virtue that I lack!

Don't be too hard on yourself! 3 year olds are tough nuts to crack! They take a lot of energy and a lot of patience and heaven knows a mother doesn't always have those things.

When I have a bad mommy moment, it always helps me to apologize to my kids and tell them that even grown ups make bad choices sometimes, and everybody makes mistakes. A nice kiddie hug is often what will soften my heart and bring some calm feelings to the room.

This is about as perfect a response as one can give. So sorry you're feeling how your are but it's normal and ok.. you're human and it's expected. Bad days happen to all of us.. shows we're human and to humble ourselves to the smile of others.. 3 year olds included. Wink

:bigarmhug:

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

Sorry you had a rough day! i have been having many of those myselfs. My DS2 just looks at me like I'm crazy and says It's all ok mommy don't worry! haha.
I hear ya on the baby moving around. It's more uncomfortable this time! I do try to set time to enjoy the movements. I find it hard to be pregnant in the winter because with my pants pressing on my belly and baby kicking, it's not as enjoyable. I LOVED being pregnant in the summer because I would put on a dress and didnt have anything on my belly.

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

My mmom always says the worst ages are 15 and 3. I haven't seen 15 yet but three was ugly with each of mine!!!

If I mess up in a small way in front of them (give out a punishment that is slightly too harsh because I'm just frustrated or something like that), I try to stick to it so they don't think they can walk all over me and get out of punishments. But if I really lose it in front of them, I always hug them and apologize and explain that mommies make mistakes too. I tell them why I was mad and that while their behavior was wrong, mommy has no business being THAT mad about it.

As for movement, I kinda feel the same way. I'm just minding my own business going about my day and then a sharp kick in the bladder reminds me that my days are about to get awfully shaken up and then I start to panic and then I wish this little one would stop kicking and let me live in my happy bubble for just a little longer. Not that his arrival will ruin my life, don't get me wrong. But change is hard and life is so good right now, ya know?

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

Give yourself a break sweetie - being pregnant really makes us emotionally unstable and that isn't good for anyone. I wouldn't say that I'm the most patient person ever, but I've gotten tons better thanks to my DD yet that all seems to go out the window some days. I seriously fly off the handle about the most random things and even find myself yelling some days which is SO out of character for me. I find myself apologizing to my kids and my DH a LOT more than normal for putting up with my mood swings. Sandra put it perfectly, telling your DD sorry and that mommy sometimes makes mistakes will take a huge load off your shoulders - and the best part about 3 year olds is that they are quick to forgive and move on! *hugs*

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

"PCCGirl813" wrote:

Not that his arrival will ruin my life, don't get me wrong. But change is hard and life is so good right now, ya know?

I feel the same way! I love my boys ages right now and life is as easy as it's gonna be right now. I am enjoying this pregnancy and really don't want it to end. I know once the baby comes it's all going to change!

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

I agree, 3 is a really tough age...that was our experience with DS1. I also find myself very short on patience right now. Pregnancy is hard! But try not to let mommy guilt get you. None of us are perfect and your DD is going to think of you as a whole of how y'all interact. Not the out of character moments that are so out of norm. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 06/08/08
Posts: 498

I agree with all the other girls. Don't be so tough on yourself. 3 is a really really hard age. DD was an angel until the day she turned 3 I swear. She did like a 180 on her birthday! Ha! But in all seriousness at that age they are starting to get independent and learning to test their limits and mommy's patience. Give yourself a break. We all lose our patience sometimes because we are human and its totally normal! Sometimes when I feel I'm losing my patience, I take a mommy time out an lock myself in the bathroom or my room for a few. It definitely helps. Feel better mommy! You are doing a great job!

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Another bad morning. She wouldn't sit for her hair to be done. Screamed "I DON'T WANT TO" at me and DH. Then she got a time out...now she's back in bed but I hear DH is in there with her. It's 10 am she's STILL not at daycare. Last night at the pool she had a breakdown and was hitting DH in the shower. In my mind hitting is a deal breaker...something we don't allow...but all he said was "stop hitting me". I'm frustrated with his parenting (beg or force) and I'm frustrated with her attitude. I want to run away. Sad

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Wait, it's only 9am. LOL. That's the kind of morning it is.

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I'm sorry heather. I hope u and dh can talk about your feelings

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

K had a change of heart and got her hair done to go to daycare. We missed snack but we got her there. She was happy as a clam after that. I love how they forget about it in an instant and now my day is ruined.

I think a lot of the problem is my emotional state. No one can fix that. I hid in my room last night just to get away from the world and I want to do that again right now...problem is I have to work.

After I took DD to daycare I went to Subway and the grocery store...but I had to come home eventually. LOL