It's my birthday and Ill cry if I want to.....

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PatienceW's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857
It's my birthday and Ill cry if I want to.....

and I did because I couldnt control it. I feel like such a horrible parent tonight because I have no idea who this child is that we have here at home. I don't know if its the lack of sleep over hte last months catching up, the inconsistancy Mom-Mom liked to instill this past weekend while we were there (and then have the friggin nerve to tell ME I was inconsistant!) or if he's getting sick. BUT the child we had with us tonight is not the boy we raised! and mommy had a breakdown. (to the point I almost sat on the floor in a restaurant bathroom and cried. eww.. didn't but almost did) and is still borderline tears now. DS has gotten to the point where he growls at us if he doesnt get his way/something he wants or jsut doesnt like our answer) tonight he went into a psychotic screaming fit on the way home (afer having to leave the restaurant because his behavior was SO bad) becasue we left his drink (in the restauarnt cup) on the table and someone was going to "take it" ....... this went on off and on (between just reg crying) the whole way home with a random sweet calm normal DS telling me about the dogs in the airbud movie (tht I had no clue he's even seen) and then a min later back to "evil" child screaming. I love DS to death, but I have no clue who that child was in our car on the way home! If we had waited to this point to ahve another one... I honestly don't know if we would be! Has anyone else had horrendous 3's??? I am praying when he turns 4 it gets better? Wonder if we could get the Nanny (from that tv show) to come and straighten him out ? Hoping he sleeps in his own bed all night tonight because mommy needs sleep! (bc I know htat's not helping my patience!) posting simply so I can get this out before I try to sleep since that's not looking too promising as it is.

Heatherbella's picture
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Sorry to hear your day sucked. Sad

The 3s are bad. We are knee deep in some crazy stuff here too. It's hard to stay grounded, especially when you're stressed and tired. I find that if I don't get my sleep, I am less patient with DD and everything spirals out of control. Since my depression issues almost 2 weeks ago I've been focusing on myself and trying to get to bed early. I've also been working on taking stressful things off my plate. It really has been helping!!!

Try to remember that his whole world is changing right now too. You can't do the same stuff you used to do with him and everything is 'baby baby baby'. I think that is throwing K off too.

Have you taken any parenting classes? DH and I took a positive parenting class right before DD turned 2 and I'm thinking we should maybe take it again. Some things aren't working around here and so it might be good for us to re-visit the concepts we learned that we might need refreshing on. It's hard to remember all the stuff we learned!

One thing I'm starting to notice is some consistency in when DD will freak. I'm starting to learn when I can predect it and try to avoid it. For instance, if she's not behaving and I say "If you don't sit down to do your hair, you can't take your slippers to daycare" she will spazz. All she hears is that she can't take her slippers to daycare and gets VERY upset. She loses sight of the fact that she CAN fix this by sitting down for me to do her hair. It's like she gets overwhelmed by the negative and can't figure out the steps to stop the bad thing from happening. I talked to a friend about it and she suggested I re-word it by saying "We need to do our hair before we take our slippers to school." or something like that. That way she won't get fixated on what might be taken away.

Another thing I'm finding with DD is it's important to get down to her level and talk to her calmly while looking at her in the eyes. Sometimes she gets all excited and spazzy and I need to ground her. So when I say 'stop', then I'll crouch down and talk to her about the situation. Perhaps say something like "Mommy understands you want to cut that piece of paper, but that is a very special paper that mommy needs. Why don't we go find a piece of paper in the recycling for you to cut?" Or something like that. It seems to work sometimes.

Oh, another thing that might help, which K's daycare does is some relaxation/deep breathing exercises. I've seen them doing them with the kids when they start to get over the top.

I'm also trying to understand DD's boundaries and learn what she can handle. Doing pretty much ANYTHING after a day of daycare is sketchy. She's tired and is better off just going home. We currently have swimming 2 days a week and after swimming she's wrecked. Total write off. Even though I'm getting super frustrated, I'm trying to remember that she is tired too and had a long day also.

*hugs* Things will get better. They aren't 3 forever!

quonsetmom's picture
Last seen: 2 weeks 1 day ago
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I hope u got to sleep last night. I'm sorry you are having trouble with ds, hope u can find something that works soon. I agree with everything heather suggested. Hope u have a better day!

akpufa's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078


I agree with a lot that Heather said. I think she gave you tons of great advice. Smile I'm sure it's combo between age, phases, and your hormones making it seem so bad. My 19 month old keeps acting out and I have to remind myself that it's pretty normal for this age, it just seems so much more annoying because my patience isn't nearly what it would be not pregnant.