Labour Fears

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sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672
Labour Fears

I have been having fun lurking on the April and May boards to read the birth stories lately Smile

While I love reading birth stories, now I am starting to freak myself out about giving birth again. WHAT HAVE I DONE??????????? ROFL

It's making me shudder to think about the terrible terrible pressure and "ring of fire" when baby is crowning. BLAH! I have always torn pretty bad and it makes me so scared and uncomfortable to think of going through that again! And yet, here we are.....LOL.

Ugh. I am really dreading it at the moment. Maybe I will be able to relax in the fact that this is the last one????

What are you nervous about?

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

I just posted almost the same thing--I'm reading Ina May and instead of feeling empowered, I'm having panic attacks!

I am totally freaked. And I actually kinda like birth. I mean, compared to me yucky pregnancies, birthing is sweet relief. But I am terrified of a c/s. I'm doing everything possible to avoid it, including going with the OB who has the lowest c/s rates. He never does surgery unless its 100% necessary. I trust him fully. That should mean I can relax. But I'm freaked!

I am also hoping to skip the epidural this time around. It made me sick to my stomach last time and I threw up and almost blacked out. I'm not against it if needed-I know sometimes in a stalled labor or if mom is super tense, the epidural can relax the baby right out. That's what happened with Lucas after I stopped puking. But I'm scared of the burning sensation I've been able to avoid by having the epidural. I don't care about the contractions, it's that burning sensation I'm scared about!!!!

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

I am half and half on this. I am hopeful this will be a much better experience, because I am not going to be induced (last one I asked for) and am hoping to go medication free. I am worried about her staying breech.

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I know I'm weird but I'm looking forward to it. I felt so empowered! I know what I don't want now. The part that makes me nervous is the placenta. I don't want a repeat of what happened with dd.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

I'm scared because a vaginal birth is all new for me...but I really feel like it's something I should experience. My planned c-section with DD was the most blah experience ever.

I'm actually finding the Ina May book interesting. Sure, everything can't go 100% awesome but I'm hoping some of the stuff I'm learning about relaxing your body will be helpful. She says that relaxing your face/mouth really helps with contractions and stretching your perineum. She had one woman sing as she was transitioning to keep her face loose.

Ok, I'm tired and I lost my train of though. HA HA HA!

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

Heather--maybe I need to skip the birth stories and just read the second part of the book?

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

"PCCGirl813" wrote:

Heather--maybe I need to skip the birth stories and just read the second part of the book?

Maybe...I found the birth stories empowering, but it's new to me so it didn't bring up any old feelings or memories.

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

I know for certain there's no way on earth I'm kissing Jon during contractions. That weirded me out a bit. Usually my feelings about him during labor waver between annoyance and hatred (and in normal life I never have negative feelings about him so it's kinda amusing to me).

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I have never been one to feel all "lovey" during labour either. Mostly I'm like "please just sit there and be supportive and don't bug me." LOL.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

I was in so much pain (I had back labor, the epidural failed and the contractions were right on top of one another) that I don't even remember DH being in the room. If he had tried to kiss me, I'd have probably tried to choke him LOL

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

It probably doesn't help that my DH really doesn't like to even be there when I'm giving birth LOL. He'd have loved it 60 years ago when he could have waited in the waiting room and the Dr. would come out and say, "Sir, you have a son." ROFL He still talks about how he hates the smell - flesh, blood, bodily fluids...LOL. He's cut the cord every time but really doesn't care if he does or not. So if he's sitting quietly and lending support if I ask for it, I'm happy. As long as he is not complaining LOL. With DD he was complaining that we came to the hospital so early and wished we were at home still. I was like "I'm the one pushing a baby out! I want to be at the hospital so shut up!" Hahahaha.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

Sandra: my DH doesn't want anything to do with the cord. Grosses him out. I can't blame him though...

I'm worried about tearing. I got an episiotomy with my first because she wasn't coming down any further and her heart rate started dropping. I tore a bit past the cut too and seriously hated sitting for weeks. With my second, he got stuck on my hip and my OB wasn't feeling patient I guess so he used a vacuum to straighten him out, after which he basically flew out and I tore at a really strange upward diagonal angle - which was SO much easier to recover from than a downward tear IMO. I'd "wish" that one on myself again if I knew I HAD to tear again. Here's to hoping this baby comes out straight and doesn't tear me though :vibes:

I'm also worried about epidural problems. Both times I've had issues with it taking on my right side; with #2, the anesth. fixed it but my left side was DEAD for hours afterward and they were trying to get me to walk around and I'm like I CAN'T when I can't feel my left leg! As much as I'd be all for skipping it, if I end up getting induced again which I'm just assuming will happen, no way am I dealing with those contractions without.

And lastly, I hate that I always get so swollen down there that I have issues peeing afterwards. Sorry if that's TMI, but seriously it's been an issue both times and it's annoying having the nurses hounding me to pee (understandable though since my uterus can't swell down with a full bladder). Lovely.

Oh and another one...the after pains were so much worse with DS than DD so I'm scared they'll be horrible again. I just need to remember my pain meds and I'll survive I think.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

Oh man, the after pains get worse each time! I'd be nursing and they hit like a CRAZY contraction. I'd be crying. Ugh.

I have had 2nd degree tears with my boys, and what my OB classified as a "blowout" with DD. I won't even explain what happened, other than I needed over 60 stitches. kind of makes me want to vomit when I think of it.

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

I just realized my last post was sort of random. The kissing thing is one of Ina May's pain relief techniques. Too weird for me. During both my labors, Jon slept until it was time to push (fine with me, I like to labor alone) but he was all pissy about waking up. With Tori he actually said "seriously? Do you have any idea how tired I am???" No, dear. I'm just trying to push out a seven pound baby after three days of hospitalization for pancreatitis, 16 hours of labor and no food at all for four days and minimal food for the past 37 weeks. No, I have no idea how tired YOU are. I was soooooo mad at him!

With tori they cut me a bit and with Lucas I tore slightly (I needed one little stitch). I'm not too scared about that part. It was never super painful but it seemed like it took months to fully heal.

You know what pain I'm dreading? Milk coming in. I never had any milk with Tori (I was sooooo sick, I think my body hd no energy for milk). With Lucas, milk coming in was so painful that I actually called th nurse and told her something was wrong. It burned so much, through my armpits. Ouch! And the post birth constipation, that's always great, too.

So much to look forward to, hahahaha.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

I'm not really worried about anything...like there isn't a particular fear I guess. I do hope not to tear this time though. I've had a second degree tear with each. The second time was much easier to deal with though...I guess just b/c of the direction of the tear. I'm really wanting to try a different position while pushing this time to see if I can avoid a tear that way. I'm not sure what to try though so that's something I think about.

Heather, I definitely noticed during labor with DS2 how important relaxing during a contraction is. I don't like to be touched while in hard labor so can't imagine letting DH kiss me, that would be awful! Anyway, I remember noticing that I was tensing my shoulders and arching by back during contractions so I started really focusing on relaxing those two areas and it was so much better to deal with.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3008

:lurk:

"PCCGirl813" wrote:

During both my labors, Jon slept until it was time to push (fine with me, I like to labor alone) but he was all pissy about waking up. With Tori he actually said "seriously? Do you have any idea how tired I am???"

ROFL My DH had the MW amazed when I had DS3. DH took a nap and when I was ready to push he wouldn't wake up. We shook him and told him the baby was coming and he kind of shrugged and went back to sleep. It took a few tried to get through to him.

Ashley - I usually hate pain meds, but I begged for them as soon as DS3 was out because the after pains had been so bad with DS2 and I knew they'd be worse. There is nothing like trying to BF a newborn and having those contractions hit!

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

my hubby is not so keen on the delivery room either. He did cut the cord, which I was impressed with but still says he has nightmares about seeing the after birth. lol!

He and my mom napped until it was time to push. But DH was so nervous and had been holding it in, we thought we were going to have to admit him to the hospital after DS was born because he was having such terrible stomach pains.

I'm nervous about this labor too. The baby is in a wierd position (like a diver - feet and hands down and diagonal across me, and low), so I am concerned about c/s issues or being 'pushed' into having one.

Until this thread I actually forgot about tearing. No episitomy with DS, but I did tear a bit and tore quite a bit internally. Went into a small episode of shock after having DS. I guess I just wasn't paying attention the whole time because I was so concentrated on finding out if he was healthy because I was early and didn't know what was going to happen (if he had any issues they were going to have to take us to another hospital becuase ours didn't have a NICU).

Last time I was terrified of having an epidural - the thought of a needle into my spine was mortifing, but that went fine.

I guess when I think back, there were things to be freaked out over, but I was calm the whole time. I am actually starting to feel pretty confident that I will be that way again. Wink

Oh, but that doesn't mean my crazy anxiety brain won't be in over-drive till I'm actually in labor, lol!

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

"pico83" wrote:

:lurk:

ROFL My DH had the MW amazed when I had DS3. DH took a nap and when I was ready to push he wouldn't wake up. We shook him and told him the baby was coming and he kind of shrugged and went back to sleep. It took a few tried to get through to him.

lmao!

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I had no episiotomy with dd and didn't tear either, but I swelled and bruised so bad the nurse said she never saw anything like it before. I was on ice or 3 weeks lol. I'd take that vs some of the stories... Now in a bit nervous ant that but ill live Smile

elleon17's picture
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

"PCCGirl813" wrote:

You know what pain I'm dreading? Milk coming in. I never had any milk with Tori (I was sooooo sick, I think my body hd no energy for milk). With Lucas, milk coming in was so painful that I actually called th nurse and told her something was wrong. It burned so much, through my armpits. Ouch! And the post birth constipation, that's always great, too.

So much to look forward to, hahahaha.

So many things this thread is making me remember. Mine didn't come in until the day I left the hospital. I remember my bra seriously just lifting off my chest and them being HUGE!!! I mean watermelon sized.

Once I hooked myself to the pump I felt so much better! Its was a relief to get it out. lol! It totally creeeped DH out at first though, lol! It was like a car crash, he didn't want to look, but couldn't take his eyes off.

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