People's Negative Comments...

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Heatherbella's picture
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People's Negative Comments...

Don't you just LOVE people's negative comments towards pregnant people? When I was pregnant with DD I always got the whole "Sleep now while you can." comment ALL the time. People, women in particular, used to say so many negative things to scare me and what-not. I really hated it! Where's the female camaraderie here?

I've noticed this time people are saying stuff like that less but I still get it. The one that really annoys me is when I'm having a hard time with DD people will say "Oh, just wait till you have two!". Like, wow! Thanks for that! The worst part is that DH and one of my close girl friends have both said that lately. Wow, that's so not constructive!

Today we were at an Easter egg hunt and some woman made a negative comment about being pregnant in the heat. I replied that I was due in early June so I didn't see it as a big deal. Also, we have air conditioning. LOL. She agreed that wasn't so bad...but seriously, what's with the negativity?

Have you heard any pregnancy related comments lately that just irked you?

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I get so large that I often get "about to pop" or "twins" comments. With #3, I got "about to pop" comments when I still had 10 weeks left. Hey thanks for making me feel like a whale!

I mostly get sympathetic looks from people at the grocery store - pushing a cart with a 16 month old in it, a 5 year old and 4 year old chasing each other in circles around the cart, and 7 months pregnant. Once when I was unloading groceries in to the trunk (the kids were already in the car) an old man stopped by and said "boy oh boy, are you ever in for a treat! Childbirth is really really hard! Are you ready for it?"..........

Uh, buddy? This is #4. Back off. Also, have you ever pushed a kid out of your genitals? No, I didn't think so. Don't tell me how hard childbirth is, you presumptuous, arrogant fool!

Wink I only wish I had said that! I think I just smiled and rolled my eyes.

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I often hear, "You've got your hands full!" or "Wow, your stomach is huge!", the former from strangers and the latter from people I know. To be honest with you, it doesn't bother me, I don't let a lot of what anyone says about anything bother me too much!

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Yeah, by this point, I just roll my eyes, smile, and walk away. Some people will just always be rude. Can't let it get to you!

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And I think most people don't mean it to be rude, they think they are trying to be helpful or are just trying to make conversation.

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I agree with what Leah said, people just want something to say to pregnant women even if it doesn't end up being what we want to hear/talk about.

I mainly get told I look really small for how far along I am (at least until the last month) but when I gain at least 35 lbs per pregnancy, I don't want to hear it. And I get a lot of comments for how close in age my kids are and what a handful they're going to be...yes I know, I already do have these two so I can imagine but I considered that - thank you stranger. :rolleyes: OH and I've been getting a lot of people commenting on how I'll have to sell my car and get something bigger as if I hadn't figured this out on my own.

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I just get a "congratulations", then again that's what. Would thing if I saw a pregnant woman in a wheel chair at a hospital too. Lol that's the only time I get out so.....

With dd1 I got a lot of negative comments abt being a single mom and some rude huffy sounds when they looked at my belly then my bare finger. I just ignored it bc I knew I was married lol, just couldn't get the darn ring on after 22 weeks lol.

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I had a 'discussion' with a dear family friend just yesterday about how she doesn't like the name we picked out, lol! She spent half of Easter trying to convince me to go with another name.

Because is was her and honestly that is just her personality, I let it go and laugh about it.

No other real negative comments.

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"quonsetmom" wrote:

With dd1 I got a lot of negative comments abt being a single mom and some rude huffy sounds when they looked at my belly then my bare finger. I just ignored it bc I knew I was married lol, just couldn't get the darn ring on after 22 weeks lol.

I actually did get a lot of 'looks' and some comments because DH and I weren't married when we were pregnant with DS (we married when he was 2 1/2 - my choice)

Some were "ohhhhh" comments, and I knew they weren't sure if this was a happy thing or not
One person said while I was at a friends baby shower "I'm so glad you chose life"
Another (at the same shower, lol) "You are not married?????? but you're having a baby." - that made me laugh and I politely explained that the father and I had been together for almost 4years (at the time) and were not going to rush anything before we have the baby.

Mostly it entertained me

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I see nothing wrong with being a single parent or a couple having a baby before they get married I just think the audacity if some people is outrageous, and sometimes hilarious.

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"Momma Leah" wrote:

And I think most people don't mean it to be rude, they think they are trying to be helpful or are just trying to make conversation.

Perhaps...but people REALLY should think before they speak. Seriously. Pregnant women are often in an emotional state anyways, they could used kind, caring and helpful words!

"elleon17" wrote:

I had a 'discussion' with a dear family friend just yesterday about how she doesn't like the name we picked out, lol! She spent half of Easter trying to convince me to go with another name.

This is exactly why we don't tell names until baby is here. People have much less to say about it once the name is chosen. Years ago I watched a Baby Story episode where the parents to be were at a family dinner. They told everyone what the name was they were currently leaning towards and people tore it apart! The banter went around the table as people said why they didn't like it and why it was a bad choice. The parents to be were so upset, and rightfully so!

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"Heatherbella" wrote:

This is exactly why we don't tell names until baby is here. People have much less to say about it once the name is chosen. Years ago I watched a Baby Story episode where the parents to be were at a family dinner. They told everyone what the name was they were currently leaning towards and people tore it apart! The banter went around the table as people said why they didn't like it and why it was a bad choice. The parents to be were so upset, and rightfully so!

I completely agree! We were only telling family....and I was trying to keep the middle name a secret. My mom is the one who spilled the beans. Lol!

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"elleon17" wrote:

I completely agree! We were only telling family....and I was trying to keep the middle name a secret. My mom is the one who spilled the beans. Lol!

My mom is the biggest bean spiller! We don't tell her anything!

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Oh, you all can imagine that I have heard just about EVERYTHING by now! Wink

The best is all the looks I get. Sometimes people just can't help but STARE!!! Oh, and then the counting - that is always fun. The other day someone was looking and I could tell she was counting my kids, and then at the end she got to five, and she said it out loud (as her jaw was dropping to the ground). Then she said, "Oh wow, did I just say that out loud... sorry..."

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"pollo_la" wrote:

Oh, you all can imagine that I have heard just about EVERYTHING by now! Wink

The best is all the looks I get. Sometimes people just can't help but STARE!!! Oh, and then the counting - that is always fun. The other day someone was looking and I could tell she was counting my kids, and then at the end she got to five, and she said it out loud (as her jaw was dropping to the ground). Then she said, "Oh wow, did I just say that out loud... sorry..."

I had to laugh at that. A family of 5 used to be completely standard (my parents both come from big families and their parents families were larger than that)

I'm just imagining a VonnTrapp moment with the kids lined up tallest to shortest, single-file, singing as they follow you. Wink

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"elleon17" wrote:

I'm just imagining a VonnTrapp moment with the kids lined up tallest to shortest, single-file, singing as they follow you. Wink

Best. Movie. Ever. Biggrin

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I've gotten some winners this time. You all heard the one about morning sickness being a punishing from God for trying to prevent pregnancy!

I have gotten a lot of "has Jon scheduled his surgery yet?" Now, yes. We are done and he is going in to get it done. But why does everyone feel they get to talk about this???

I've been told #3 is always the worst labor and I'll probably need a c/s.

I've been informed that there is no way I can homeschool with a newborn so I need to start looking at schools.

Ugh.

As for names, when we announce it, we do it as fact. This IS Oliver. Not, we are leaning towards Oliver. Because when you say it as fact, you are less open to criticism.

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Think about what you get told about triplets!!!

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"maybethisismymonth" wrote:

Think about what you get told about triplets!!!

Eeeps! you must hear a LOT. Sad

pico83 (not verified)

:lurk:
I love lurking over here and have to say that this post really made my day. I think it's amazing the stupid things people will say to a pregnant woman (I got lectured once by a little old lady for being a pregnant teenager... when I was 23 and married). Recently everyone has been telling me "At least you got having kids out of the way early." I keep wondering what they'll say over the next few weeks as they realize I'm pregnant again. Wink

"PCCGirl813" wrote:

As for names, when we announce it, we do it as fact. This IS Oliver. Not, we are leaning towards Oliver.

awesome name. Smile We used it for DS3 and get so many compliments on it.

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"maybethisismymonth" wrote:

Think about what you get told about triplets!!!

:lurk:

I am the proud auntie of triplet boys (who are now 15!!! ). Anytime I mention the boys I get the "they must be a handful" type comments. I was not in the boys' lives until they were 3, but I can tell you they were (and are) good kids. I think in many ways they are easier when the get older having the built-in playmates. I know the first year was hard for them, my SIL breastfed 2 at a time and the 3rd would get a bottle of either Bmilk or formula and rotated each feeding. I know I could not do that! She kept lots of charts so she knew which baby had what going on. And she painted their fingernails to tell them apart! lol, they are fraternal but look close enough that it could be hard to tell them apart. I loved the fingernail painting idea!