QOTD 10/22

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akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078
QOTD 10/22

How many siblings do you have? Your DH/SO? How has that played into how many kids you want?

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

I have one older brother who lives on the other side of the country. He's a mental mess and I feel like I missed out by not having a sibling I'm close with. Sad

DH is the youngest of 4. He has 3 older sisters.

I'm not sure how this all played into how many kids I want. I guess being from a small-ish family did make that seem more 'normal' to me than 7 kids, so perhaps it affected me in that way. I always thought I wanted 3 kids but DH already has a daughter so now I'm thinking 2. Our age and finances probably play more into it than the size of our birth families.

angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

im a middle child and i have an older sister and a younger brother, DH is the baby and he has 3 older brothers and 1 older sister. He wants 3 kids I only want 2 because i hated being the middle child and always told myself i wouldnt have 3 just so there isnt a middle child lol i know sounds crazy

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

"angelover02740" wrote:

im a middle child and i have an older sister and a younger brother, DH is the baby and he has 3 older brothers and 1 older sister. He wants 3 kids I only want 2 because i hated being the middle child and always told myself i wouldnt have 3 just so there isnt a middle child lol i know sounds crazy

It might sound crazy...but middle children ARE a bit crazy. Blum 3 Just teasing.

I know what you mean though. I was the second born and I feel ripped off in that my baby book is smaller and has less written in it than my brother's....so that's something that sticks with me and I don't want to re-create with my second born. Hubby is the 4th so there are like 4 lines written in his baby book! HA HA!

angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

i barely had any pictures of me by myself it was always with my sister or by brother, always got hand me downs from my sister while she got to go shopping every year for school and so did my brother. Those little things always stick with us and i know my parents didnt do it on purpose buy i dont think they realized how much it effected me.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

I don't have any "full" siblings, but have 2 half siblings who are much younger than I am (13+ years) so I really grew up as an only child. My DH is the middle of 3. Unlike most middle kids (LOL), my DH thinks three is a perfect number. We said 2-3, but at two didn't feel done so here we are.

I always leaned towards more than less because I desperately wanted siblings when I was younger and still wish I had one (or more!) closer to my age. Which is also why we had them so close (my DH is 1.5 & 2.5 years apart from his sibligns).

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I have two sisters and two step sisters and two step brothers. It was nice to always have someone to talk to growing up. I feel that my mom did a great job with each of our baby books. (i have a feeling i wont be as good as i should because i currently cant find my daughters :p). I have always wanted a big family.

DH is the oldest of 4, and wants 4. Most of the families in his extended family have 4, I think that is why.

Babymaybe2's picture
Joined: 07/24/12
Posts: 518

I have an older sibling and two younger siblings and dh has two older siblings. We have always wanted one boy and one girl but we will see what God gives us!

Momma Leah's picture
Joined: 05/13/12
Posts: 1047

I have a younger brother and DH has an older brother. I don't think that has anything to do with how many kids we choose to have.

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

I have three sisters and three brothers. I am the middle child, and I am pretty ok with that, but it isnt the same as if there were only three of us I imagine. I am really close with my sisters. I have a love/punch relationship with my little brother (he can be quite thick sometimes). And I don't talk to my older brothers, one even refuses to be in the same building as me, his fault and my fault, whatever.
DH has one brother and one half brother.

I never thought I wanted any kids, honestly then I got pregnant, and wanted DS. I was happy, got my baby fix at work most of the time, and with so many siblings someone is bound to have a kid eventually. DS has been asking for a sibling for years, since he realized how much his cousins had fun together. DH finally decided he needed siblings.

I don't know that my family size had anything to do with how many I wanted. I see how great siblings can be, but I also see the bad side of it too.

LaurenE's picture
Joined: 06/19/10
Posts: 854

I am the youngest of 3 and dh is the oldest of 2. I always wanted an even number so 2 or 4, but 2 wasn't enough. Smile I didn't want to do 3 because that was always 2 against 1. Also, there's such a large age gap with mine it's more like 2 and 2, lol.

Joined: 06/08/08
Posts: 498

Dh and I are both the youngest of 2. We were going to stop at 2 but our family just didn't feel complete yet. This will also be our last because we don't have enough room in our house for more and it would probably be too much on our finances. But 3 is a nice number and we are psyched!

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

I have a younger sister, 6 years apart. DH has 3 half sibling 13 or more years older.

I'd say the age gaps really played into the fact that we decided to have ours so close in age.

ChristaM's picture
Joined: 01/11/04
Posts: 713

I'm the oldest of 3 girls. My DH is the 4th of 5 (3 boys and 2 girl); however, only 3 of them are living. One older brother passed away at 42 from a heart condition and a sister died as an infant (premature birth).

Joined: 05/04/09
Posts: 1316

I have 2 younger sisters (6 years younger and 11 years younger). DH has 1 older sister. I always wanted 3-5 kids. Might have partly been due to the fact that my sisters were so much younger than me we weren't close growing up. We are more close now. But I don't know if that's why. DH wanted 2-3 so we settled on 3.

Joined: 03/07/05
Posts: 1595

I have one sister. My DH has 2 brothers. All along he was thinking more along the lines of 2-3. I always felt that I wanted at least 4. I have always been fascinated by large families. I do think what what we perceive as "normal" - what others we know are typically doing, and the size of our own families, factor into our thinking of what we "should" do. That's really only natural. Poor DH, I hang out with homeschoolers who have LARGE families!!!! So, maybe some of "that" thinking factored into my decision making!! Smile

Anyway, my DH does have a unique perspective. He was the 3rd boy in his family, raised in communist Romania. They truly were scraping by, and even buying food was an issue. They sent him to live with his great grandmother in the village for 2 years because they didn't have enough money to feed him - just him, no brothers or other family. They had NO toys growing up... just things like a deflated ball to kick around in the road and such. He wants to provide the world for our children. I know he feels the burden of providing for the family, so ultimately that was much more why he was leaning toward 2-3. However, it seems that God (who is ultimately in control over everything) continues to provide in amazing ways no matter how many children we have. That being said, I really think we are done with 6. We are to the point where we really are down to the basics, and run the risk of needing help (food stamps, medicaid, etc) if we continue on. I do feel it would be irresponsible of us to continue making babies, so everyone else can pay for them!

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

"pollo_la" wrote:

I have one sister. My DH has 2 brothers. All along he was thinking more along the lines of 2-3. I always felt that I wanted at least 4. I have always been fascinated by large families. I do think what what we perceive as "normal" - what others we know are typically doing, and the size of our own families, factor into our thinking of what we "should" do. That's really only natural. Poor DH, I hang out with homeschoolers who have LARGE families!!!! So, maybe some of "that" thinking factored into my decision making!! Smile

Anyway, my DH does have a unique perspective. He was the 3rd boy in his family, raised in communist Romania. They truly were scraping by, and even buying food was an issue. They sent him to live with his great grandmother in the village for 2 years because they didn't have enough money to feed him - just him, no brothers or other family. They had NO toys growing up... just things like a deflated ball to kick around in the road and such. He wants to provide the world for our children. I know he feels the burden of providing for the family, so ultimately that was much more why he was leaning toward 2-3. However, it seems that God (who is ultimately in control over everything) continues to provide in amazing ways no matter how many children we have. That being said, I really think we are done with 6. We are to the point where we really are down to the basics, and run the risk of needing help (food stamps, medicaid, etc) if we continue on. I do feel it would be irresponsible of us to continue making babies, so everyone else can pay for them!

What a life your DH had! I can't even imagine! 6 seems like the perfect number for you. I think my DH wants to stop at 3 because of the "providing for them" issue.