Lets see, DS's birth wasn't too terrible I was just un-knowledgeable then. I wanted to be induced, I wanted the epidural. It was 12 hours and 15 minutes of labor from the start of Pit till he made an appearance. I only pushed for fifteen minutes, and had a episiotomy which felt weird but wasn't bad even while healing.
I don't want to be induced the Pit was just terrible. I want to avoid the epidural if at all possible because I am a wimp with needles,l would like to start my own I.V. and draw my own blood though (while chances are I will get one of my friends from the lab while I am there I still prefer to do it myself if I can, because as much as it freaks me out to do it myself it freaks me out for someone else to do it.) I think if I don't push so hard and give the baby more time to come out I won't need the episiotomy this time. I would like to do delayed cord clamping for at least 5 minutes, if we are both good there isn't any reason not to.
If I could, I'd choose to replicate my son's birth completely. It was perfect. It was night time and it was peaceful and Jon and I were laughing, just laughing the whole time. Granted I was very drugged (labor wasn't progressing but my water broke and I was on edge so they gave me something by IV to help me relax. Well, I relaxed so much Lucas basically fell out... And in my drugged up state, I found the whole thing hilarious).
Tori's birth was a living hell. It was so horrific that I didn't really bond with her for five it six months. It was a forced induction so I could have my gallbladder out. I was sick as could be, puking my guts out and screaming in pain before the induction even started. It was day time and the lights were so bright and because I was so sick there were a million docs and nurses in the room. I had to stay a whole week after and barely held Tori until she was two weeks old. When I got home from the hospital mil stated to help and she wouldn't let me see Tori. She said if I was so sick that she needed to be there, then I was too sick to hold my baby. We don't get along, can you tell?
The only thing I may do differently this time is skip the epidural. I only got it last time because it felt right in the moment with what was going on. I did it to help me relax, not really for pain relief. And it was fine, I don't regret it. I will go into this with an open mind and make decisions as they come.
Oh! And the awesomest thing. My best friend is a teacher and her kiddos are spending the summer with their dad, so she is coming out to be with me! That will be very different in a very good way!
I only had two stitches with DS, so even then it wasn't bad, I was really swollen after I had him though. With DD I had variose veins on my nether regions... I was already swollen (and very lopsided!). I sure hope I don't have that problem this time! I'm sure you ladies used the pads that have to cooling in them, they are wonderful!
I remember with DD I pushed 4 times at the most. In between pushes, my OB told me to stop. He massaged my perinium and stretched. And when I say stretched, I mean STRETCHED! It burned like heck, but I believe that is what saved me from tearing.
Mary, I can't imagine drawing my own blood. I can't even look when someone else does it!
Yikes, hearing some of this reminds me how I really did like my past 3 labors. No cath, no epi, no pit, no tearing, no nothing really... In all honesty though, I really liked my first two epi births. However, the recovery after birth without the epi is just too amazing to pass on... and there is of course always the risk of complications (although relatively small) with the epi that I'd like to pass on... With my second dd my bp crashed after they gave me the epi and they had to give me a shot of (I think adrenaline) to revive me.
I would love to do a birth with no epi....so many people talk about how awesome they feel afterwards. But I am a HUGE wimp with NO pain tolerance. I don't even want to imagine pushing a baby out with no epi. I usually only make it to about 4-5 cm before I need the epi.
I have been blessed with fairly short labors. Both labors have started with my water breaking spontaneously, no contractions or other noticeable signs. In one way it is nice to know "ok, labor has started" but it was a bit early with DS1.
My water broke at 33 wks 1 day so at the hospital they stalled labor with mag. sulfate for 48 hrs to administer shots to help his lungs develop. After they took me off of the med they said if I went into labor they wouldn't stop it. I started having contractions that evening around 9 pm and he was born the next morning around 6:15. They didn't believe I was in labor so they left me alone all night. I was having all back labor and the most comfortable position was hands and knees so I stayed on the bed like that all night. Once they realized about 5:30 am that I actually was in labor and checked me they made me lay on my back so they could get the monitors like they wanted and that is how I stayed until he was born. So not comfortable with back labor! But it went quickly from that point and he was out really quickly once I started pushing I think it was 3 or 4 pushes.
With DS2 my water broke as I got in bed for the evening around 10:45 pm. Contractions didn't really pick up until a couple of hours later and we arrived at the hospital a little after 2 am I believe. I had all back labor with DS2, same as my previous but the thing that was most comfortable with him was to pace during a contraction. The young guy who met me at the door at the hospital tried to get me to sit in a wheel chair to go to L&D and he was amazed when I just wanted to be up and walking. I was like, I'm no super woman this is just the most comfortable thing right now. Once they had me in the room the nurse asked me to lay in bed "just 20 minutes" so they could get a monitoring stip on the baby and then after that she wouldn't let me get up b/c they needed me to lay still for "just an hour" to get an IV of antibiotics since I had just had the swab done at 36 wks and I was only 36 wks 5 days so didn't know the results on it. They also had a policy to do the antibiotics prior to 37 wks regardless. Needless to say it was one excuse after another for why they needed me to stay in the bed but again labor went quick and DS2 was born just before 6:20 am., another short pushing phase about 5 or 6 pushes. I do remember that part hurting more but he did weigh 2.5 lbs more than DS1 but was still fairly small at 7 lbs 4 oz.
I had an easy recovery with each. I never wanted an epi from the beginning b/c honestly I am more apprehensive about that needle in my back than I am about the pain of labor. But, I might feel differently if labor didn't progress quickly. So I really only have 2 things I want to be different about this one. First, I don't want to be told what position I have to labor in just b/c it is more convenient for them. I am not one to be difficult but I am going to stand up for myself on this and it will be the way I need it to be (within reason, of course). Second, I don't want to push on my back this time. I didn't mention before, but with both I had 2nd degree tears and had to be stitched up. I want to try to avoid tearing by trying different pushing positions according to how I feel in the moment.