QOTD 12/19

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akpufa's picture
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QOTD 12/19

Since pretty much all of our active board members are BTDT moms, what things are you hoping to be different about this birth? What things are you hoping to be the same?

For FTMs: What does your ideal birth experience look like?

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My last 3 births have been pretty ideal for me! My "perfect" birth would replicate my fourth dd though. For some reason the pain just wasn't as intense with that birth. It had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do, she simply made a more graceful entrance into the world I guess, LOL! Smile Also, her labor was 6 hours - perfect in my opinion.

One thing I do have to say though. My first 4 were in the hospital, and #5 was at a stand a lone birth center. In the hospital they "make" you stay at least 24 hours. In my mind 12-24 hours is the perfect stay - so the hospital is perhaps a little too long. The birth center, however, has you only stay about 4-6 hours, just a tad short. Ideally I would get 12 hours before I need to home. It would just be nice to have a few more hours alone with baby before my crew descends on the new little one. Wink Oh well, I'll take the shorter stay for all the other many perks that the birth center has to offer over the hospital. I guess you can't have it all.

quonsetmom's picture
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For me i would change quite a bit i guess. First NO SLEEPING PILL! I want my labor to progress more naturally. The pill led to many more interventions than necessary in my opinion. I don't want pitocin, internal monitoring, or baby heart decells. In addition I want my doctor or a doctor i trust to be there the whole time. I don't want my placenta to have to be ripped out, and maybe a shorter labor would be nice. (19 hrs with 2 hrs of pushing). I felt so accomplished when i was pushing to so I would def keep the mirror and that feeling.

akpufa's picture
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My second was an "ideal" induction experience for the most part. Got to the hospital, my doc ran by to break my water, they set me up with my epi, THEN with pitocin, only took a few hours and I was ready to push.

The only complaints I have are that I've had epidural issues both times - the first it wouldn't take on one side until they removed it and redid the whole thing (this was after many hours of feeling pitocin driven contractions while they "waited" to see if it would fix itself...dumb anesthesiologist!), the second time I warned the anest. that I had had issues last time so he was so sweet and came back to check on me every 10 minutes after and sure enough, it initially worked all over, but then the right side died off. So he really amped it up to "unstick" the nerves on that side, which worked great but then half of my body was FROZEN to the point that I couldn't walk for several hours after the birth even and had ZERO feeling in one leg (DH bumped it off the bed and I didn't notice...it was that bad). So I'd LOVE for an epidural that could take without having to overdose it this time!

The other thing I'd like to change is that both of my kids tried to come out diagonally and both got stuck on my pelvis. With my DD, they had me push on my side for about 20 minutes to move her (which did end up working). With my DS, my doc was there from the moment I started pushing and he decided to just use the vacuum to pop him out of my pelvis, which turned out fine but pushing was so painful because of how he was laid out - it felt like my ribs were breaking to curl around my stomach to push! But I'd love for this one to come out STRAIGHT! I blame these partially on getting induced before my babies dropped (I was overdue with both though so they had plenty of time!).

Oh and if I could go into labor on my own, that would be amazing but I'm not counting on it. My body just seems to need that little "push" to get going. Who knows though, maybe it'll surprise me this time Wink

Sorry that got really long!

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I got an epidural right away with DS and I think this time i might push it a little longer, im sure i'll change my mind when i get there but i had a great experience so hopefully it will be the same

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Both of mine were pretty similar. I wouldn't mind a repeat like either one. With DS (he was smaller) I tore and had to have a couple of stitches. With DD (1lb 2oz bigger) no tearing! I would defiantly prefer no stitches, it makes the world of difference! The doctor did break my water with DD, I would almost prefer that again. You can control the timing of labor that way. I have always been scared of going into labor in the middle of the night. So far I haven't had to deal with that!

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Leah: ooh no stitches! Add THAT to my list! Biggrin I had a TON with DD (episiotomy and then tore past the cut) and still quite a few with DS (I tore diagonally upwards with him...much easier to recover from though IMO)

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I can pretty much count on stitches every time. I have big babies and I am a small woman, especially small down there. When I saw my OB while pregnant with my first, she said, "Oh.....let's use the speculum for teenagers. You're just a tiny lady!" After I have each one, I tear pretty bad and they have to stitch me up tight so i don't even get nice and "stretched out" after birth Wink

I was induced with #3 but went into labour naturally with the first two. I would prefer not to be induced this time, but really, my last labour wasn't all that bad, and it was the fastest. (DD 24 hours, DS1 13 hours, DS2 10 hours) My pushing time also got shorter with each one (even though the babies got bigger! DD 2 hours, DS1 50 minutes, DS2 25 minutes)

I'll be happy with my epidural as usual Smile One thing I am adamant about is getting my cathether out ASAP after birth. I usually end up having to get a catheter shortly before I push because my bladder is too full by that point. But with #1 I had the catheter in for a full day after I gave birth and it was dreadful. With #3 they took it out right away....thank goodness.

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No changes here. This one will be a scheduled c-section. Which I'm totally cool with. I just don't dilate. Had 36 hrs of labor with DD and was only "a generous 3cm" as quoted by my OB. So, I'm good with not having to go through that again. That was a rough recovery for me because I was overwhelmingly exhausted after!

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I didn't tear at all, no stitches. But because of this the nurses said they had never seen a new mom so swollen. tho id rather have that then stitches i think. o and i only had as strait cath as i was pushing. how can you deliver with a regular cath?

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Lets see, DS's birth wasn't too terrible I was just un-knowledgeable then. I wanted to be induced, I wanted the epidural. It was 12 hours and 15 minutes of labor from the start of Pit till he made an appearance. I only pushed for fifteen minutes, and had a episiotomy which felt weird but wasn't bad even while healing.

I don't want to be induced the Pit was just terrible. I want to avoid the epidural if at all possible because I am a wimp with needles,l would like to start my own I.V. and draw my own blood though (while chances are I will get one of my friends from the lab while I am there I still prefer to do it myself if I can, because as much as it freaks me out to do it myself it freaks me out for someone else to do it.) I think if I don't push so hard and give the baby more time to come out I won't need the episiotomy this time. I would like to do delayed cord clamping for at least 5 minutes, if we are both good there isn't any reason not to.

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If I could, I'd choose to replicate my son's birth completely. It was perfect. It was night time and it was peaceful and Jon and I were laughing, just laughing the whole time. Granted I was very drugged (labor wasn't progressing but my water broke and I was on edge so they gave me something by IV to help me relax. Well, I relaxed so much Lucas basically fell out... And in my drugged up state, I found the whole thing hilarious).

Tori's birth was a living hell. It was so horrific that I didn't really bond with her for five it six months. It was a forced induction so I could have my gallbladder out. I was sick as could be, puking my guts out and screaming in pain before the induction even started. It was day time and the lights were so bright and because I was so sick there were a million docs and nurses in the room. I had to stay a whole week after and barely held Tori until she was two weeks old. When I got home from the hospital mil stated to help and she wouldn't let me see Tori. She said if I was so sick that she needed to be there, then I was too sick to hold my baby. We don't get along, can you tell?

The only thing I may do differently this time is skip the epidural. I only got it last time because it felt right in the moment with what was going on. I did it to help me relax, not really for pain relief. And it was fine, I don't regret it. I will go into this with an open mind and make decisions as they come.

Oh! And the awesomest thing. My best friend is a teacher and her kiddos are spending the summer with their dad, so she is coming out to be with me! That will be very different in a very good way!

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"MJDttc" wrote:

I would like to do delayed cord clamping for at least 5 minutes, if we are both good there isn't any reason not to.

I did that for 7 min, as soon as it stopped pulsing it was cut, so all the cord blood went to DD before it was done. It was hard tho because the cord was very short. But i still didn't as she was in my arms.

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I only had two stitches with DS, so even then it wasn't bad, I was really swollen after I had him though. With DD I had variose veins on my nether regions... I was already swollen (and very lopsided!). I sure hope I don't have that problem this time! I'm sure you ladies used the pads that have to cooling in them, they are wonderful!

I remember with DD I pushed 4 times at the most. In between pushes, my OB told me to stop. He massaged my perinium and stretched. And when I say stretched, I mean STRETCHED! It burned like heck, but I believe that is what saved me from tearing.

Mary, I can't imagine drawing my own blood. I can't even look when someone else does it!

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"Momma Leah" wrote:

Mary, I can't imagine drawing my own blood. I can't even look when someone else does it!

I used to have major problems and couldn't even stand seeing needles on TV without having a panic attack. Needless to say phlebotomy was NOT my first choice of job, but the classes were free so I went for it. I used to work an entire hospital doing all of the draws all by myself, so I had to be good at it. I know how I stick and though when I was training new phlebs I would let them stick me if they seemed to be having lots of trouble, I would still rather no one else stick me ever.

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"Momma Leah" wrote:

I'm sure you ladies used the pads that have to cooling in them, they are wonderful!

Ummm.... they have pads with cooling in them?

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"quonsetmom" wrote:

Ummm.... they have pads with cooling in them?

They have feminine pads with water in them... put them in the freezer and use them if you are swollen. They are wonderful!!

Yikes, hearing some of this reminds me how I really did like my past 3 labors. No cath, no epi, no pit, no tearing, no nothing really... In all honesty though, I really liked my first two epi births. However, the recovery after birth without the epi is just too amazing to pass on... and there is of course always the risk of complications (although relatively small) with the epi that I'd like to pass on... With my second dd my bp crashed after they gave me the epi and they had to give me a shot of (I think adrenaline) to revive me.

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I would love to do a birth with no epi....so many people talk about how awesome they feel afterwards. But I am a HUGE wimp with NO pain tolerance. I don't even want to imagine pushing a baby out with no epi. I usually only make it to about 4-5 cm before I need the epi.

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"sandraleigh" wrote:

I would love to do a birth with no epi....so many people talk about how awesome they feel afterwards. But I am a HUGE wimp with NO pain tolerance. I don't even want to imagine pushing a baby out with no epi. I usually only make it to about 4-5 cm before I need the epi.

Ditto! Well, I've never been in labor without it being pitocin induced, so if I were to go into labor on my own, I might give it shot, but I so enjoy the comfort of the epi (when it works). Like Sandra though, I HATE HATE HATE having a catheter and I've had issues peeing post-birth both times because of them so that might be enough to push me into trying. With DD, they just re-cath'ed me until I could go on my own, but with my DS, I had a nurse who was like "I really hate doing catheters, so I'm not leaving until you go!" and seriously hung out in my room for 20 minutes until I finally managed to get my muscles to work. It was kind of funny aside from frustrating and slightly humiliating (although since I'd just had a baby earlier that day, I was pretty immune to being embarrassed).

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I have been blessed with fairly short labors. Both labors have started with my water breaking spontaneously, no contractions or other noticeable signs. In one way it is nice to know "ok, labor has started" but it was a bit early with DS1.

My water broke at 33 wks 1 day so at the hospital they stalled labor with mag. sulfate for 48 hrs to administer shots to help his lungs develop. After they took me off of the med they said if I went into labor they wouldn't stop it. I started having contractions that evening around 9 pm and he was born the next morning around 6:15. They didn't believe I was in labor so they left me alone all night. I was having all back labor and the most comfortable position was hands and knees so I stayed on the bed like that all night. Once they realized about 5:30 am that I actually was in labor and checked me they made me lay on my back so they could get the monitors like they wanted and that is how I stayed until he was born. So not comfortable with back labor! But it went quickly from that point and he was out really quickly once I started pushing I think it was 3 or 4 pushes.

With DS2 my water broke as I got in bed for the evening around 10:45 pm. Contractions didn't really pick up until a couple of hours later and we arrived at the hospital a little after 2 am I believe. I had all back labor with DS2, same as my previous but the thing that was most comfortable with him was to pace during a contraction. The young guy who met me at the door at the hospital tried to get me to sit in a wheel chair to go to L&D and he was amazed when I just wanted to be up and walking. I was like, I'm no super woman this is just the most comfortable thing right now. Wink Once they had me in the room the nurse asked me to lay in bed "just 20 minutes" so they could get a monitoring stip on the baby and then after that she wouldn't let me get up b/c they needed me to lay still for "just an hour" to get an IV of antibiotics since I had just had the swab done at 36 wks and I was only 36 wks 5 days so didn't know the results on it. They also had a policy to do the antibiotics prior to 37 wks regardless. Needless to say it was one excuse after another for why they needed me to stay in the bed but again labor went quick and DS2 was born just before 6:20 am., another short pushing phase about 5 or 6 pushes. I do remember that part hurting more but he did weigh 2.5 lbs more than DS1 but was still fairly small at 7 lbs 4 oz.

I had an easy recovery with each. I never wanted an epi from the beginning b/c honestly I am more apprehensive about that needle in my back than I am about the pain of labor. But, I might feel differently if labor didn't progress quickly. So I really only have 2 things I want to be different about this one. First, I don't want to be told what position I have to labor in just b/c it is more convenient for them. I am not one to be difficult but I am going to stand up for myself on this and it will be the way I need it to be (within reason, of course). Second, I don't want to push on my back this time. I didn't mention before, but with both I had 2nd degree tears and had to be stitched up. I want to try to avoid tearing by trying different pushing positions according to how I feel in the moment.

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"pollo_la" wrote:

They have feminine pads with water in them... put them in the freezer and use them if you are swollen. They are wonderful!!

OOOO those sound amazing. i think I may be getting some of those this time lol. I had horrible back labor with DD but was a wimp and asked for an epi 9 hours in. Lynn you are Super Woman for being able to do that twice with none. And Laurie you are amazing as well to have natural births too. I don't think i could do it unless it went super quick this time.

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"quonsetmom" wrote:

OOOO those sound amazing. i think I may be getting some of those this time lol. I had horrible back labor with DD but was a wimp and asked for an epi 9 hours in. Lynn you are Super Woman for being able to do that twice with none. And Laurie you are amazing as well to have natural births too. I don't think i could do it unless it went super quick this time.

hehe, like I said I may not make it if I didn't have quick labors...my first was only 9 hours long anyway so you might have made it too if baby had already popped out Wink

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"quonsetmom" wrote:

Ummm.... they have pads with cooling in them?

The ones they have at my hospital have those cooling things that work after you squeeze them. I asked the nurses forbugs bunch of them take home!

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"sandraleigh" wrote:

I would love to do a birth with no epi....so many people talk about how awesome they feel afterwards. But I am a HUGE wimp with NO pain tolerance. I don't even want to imagine pushing a baby out with no epi. I usually only make it to about 4-5 cm before I need the epi.

It not a picnic by any means. But I remember immediately afterwards saying, "wow, I feel so much better". I was actually more sore the next day immediately afterwards.