registering/baby shower issues

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Khafnerrn's picture
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/04/12
Posts: 23
registering/baby shower issues

Hi everyone. I know I'm a ways off from the baby shower, we're doing it Cinco De Mayo, but random friends and family are bugging for me my registry. I am having serious issues for what to put on there. I mean, I feel like as the parent, planned or not, it's my responsibility to provide everything she NEEDS. The wants and fun stuff is what people can contribue. I mean, I'm working on the nursery as we speak, and then I'll buy the car seats for my sister and my car. But, besides a basinett and swing, what else am I suppose to put on there??? Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna put tons of nursing stuff, bath stuff on there. But friends of mine have 4-5 PAGES of registry stuff, and it's EXPENSIVE. My sister is going to buy me the stroller so I won't need that.
Also... I have been to quite a few baby showers, and simply put, not a fan. So, I thought it would be cool to just have an open house, come hang out and leave whenever, all day type of party. We're doing bounce houses for the kids, tons of food and what have you. But, I don't want to open presents in front of people. I don't want everyone staring at me, and ooing and ahhing... I know they mean well but I'm just not interested.
Am I being selfish? Is this normal for first timers??
Thanks everyone

Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

I just had my baby shower like two weekends ago and it was weird. Since I'm still in denial that I'm actually going to have a baby, I guess I haven't really "bonded" with her in there like I should. So opening all those clothes and smiling and saying thanks for each little itty bitty item, got old - real quick. Do I appreciate everything given to me? Heck yeah. DH and I don't have much extra money, so we registered for EVERYTHING. I had the baby shower a little early (32 weeks) just in case something big wasn't given to us, we could have time to save up and get it ourselves. I was given: Many many many many clothes, diapers, wipes, a travel system stroller thing, a lightweight stroller, a pack n play with a bassinet, a crib (whew!), pacifiers, bottles, and some other random girly things. Like someone gave me a picture of a puzzle she had put together of precious moments. I happen to hate precious moments LOL, but it's cute.
Anyway, my point here is: Don't put too much stress on yourself about getting what she NEEDS. People are going to want to help you out - and you should let them. That'll be less stuff you have to buy in the end and then you can use that money for other things. I don't think you're being selfish at all Smile

And an all day party sounds awesome!

elleon17's picture
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

I was uncomfortable with my baby shower too for DS, but the gifts were really appreciated and at the time the extras were needed.

I would suggest you register for everything essential....add lots of diapers, wipes, baby wash. It helps people use it as a guide for what you need. Don't feel bad about returning things for credit if you don't need them (ex. too many 3 month size clothing, trade it in for store credit or buy the sizes you need). Registering can help people in what you are looking for and need/want for the baby. Otherwise you might end up with alot of stuffed animals and matching onesies all in the same size. Wink

I'm registering for this baby, but just as a guide for myself and use it as a personal checklist. I don't expect to have a shower this time around and don't really need one to be honest.

Heatherbella's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

I can totally hear what you're saying about not enjoying opening gifts in front of people...but honestly, that's my favorite part of a baby shower! Oh the little old ladies love it too! They love seeing all the wee stuff they no longer have in their lives! It's also part of the joy of giving...seeing someone open the gift you put so much time into buying. When we got married I hated opening gifts in front of others...but by the time my baby shower rolled around, I was less nervous. I know with my baby shower it was all people I knew, so it wasn't like a big show in front of strangers. Sometimes being mildly uncomfortable for 20 minutes or so is the price to pay for all those awesome gifts. LOL.

As for registry items here are some ideas off the top of my head:

- crib
- change table
- dresser
- glider rocker
- stroller
- car seat
- baby carrier (ergo, sling, etc.)
- swing
- pack n' play
- exersaucer/jumperoo
- bouncy seat
- breast pump
- breastfeeding pillow
- nursing cover
- bottles
- soothers/pacifiers
- baby spoons
- bibs
- socks
- clothes
- receiving blankets (LOTS)
- hooded bath towels
- baby wash clothes
- baby bath tub
- bath toys
- robeez baby slippers
- swaddle blankets
- consumables like : diapers, wipes, bum cream, baby soap, baby shampoo

That's all I've got this early in the morning. LOL. Seriously thought, put lots of stuff on there, people like options and different price ranges.

As for the all day me that sounds exhausting...I'd rather have it over in 2 hours. That said, I have a 3 year old and it's hard to dedicate an entire day to something like that. LOL. Since this is your first it sounds like it will work better for you!

Oh, and baby shower games? I hate most of them and would honestly rather just sit around and visit and eat. Blum 3

akpufa's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

With my first baby (the only one I've had a shower for), we did a co-ed BBQ on a weekend night. It was much more fun for us to get all our friends and family together and just socialize instead of girls sitting around doing "shower games"...not that those aren't okay too, just NMS. I hate opening presents too, but we played a game of I would open it, show DH & he would have to guess what it was. Sounds dumb but seriously it was when he said receiving blankets were for "receiving baby out of the womb" (we had to tell him it was a "receiving" blanket then made him guess from that). Plus it took some of the spotlight off of my opening gifts.

I think Heather pretty much nailed it on the stuff to register for. Don't bother going through clothes for hours to pick stuff, people tend to get what THEY like anyway. Maybe register for a pack or two of onesies in different sizes and socks just to spur ideas but yeah, I've seen registries with pages of clothes and no one is going to search the store for specific clothing items anyway. Definitely put diapers and wipes on the registry too and scan them a few times so they don't disappear as "fulfilled".

elleon17's picture
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 01/26/09
Posts: 1981

There are two great books that I used with DS that helped me put together my lists of neccessities and picking the best quality items for the best value (not always the most expensive.....our crib was $150 at the time and top rated for safety) baby bargains


The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy: Vicki Iovine: 9781416524724: Books

There is a new baby bargains edition coming out in April, but I'm sure the most recent one is still very good.

Heatherbella's picture
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

Oooh, I forgot crib bedding on my list. You'll need at least a couple crib sheets and if you get a pack n' play you'll want some sheets for it too! We only had 1 crib sheet going into it and that is SO not enough for a drooly pukey baby!

PatienceW's picture
Last seen: 3 years 4 weeks ago
Joined: 08/06/08
Posts: 857

"elleon17" wrote:

I'm registering for this baby, but just as a guide for myself and use it as a personal checklist. I don't expect to have a shower this time around and don't really need one to be honest.

Im doing this too! (plus some places give a discount after baby for things not purchased)

I would also get at least 1 or 2 more sets of sheets/mattress protectors than you think. sometimes diapers leak, spit up etc. and what you "think" you need.. you actually need more. I agree with not putting the "needs" on yourself. people LOVE buying for babies. LET THEM! htere will be plenty of time for all of the needs to be taken care of by you... when diaper sizes change, sippy cups when done with bottles etc. so don't feel bad about registering for needs and wants. also if people aren't sure what you want/need then they will get random stuff you dont. (or even register for gift cards then you CAN get the needs yourself.)