Oh, and I have to also say that I'm glad there hasn't been any "attacking" on this thread. Bringing up the topic of spanking can spur quite some dedates. Regardless of how we all choose to discipline our children, I'm glad there hasn't seemed to be a "one side attacking another" type thing going on here.
I was just thinking the same thing - everyone has voiced their opinion, but no one has said "my opinion is right and the only one". I think that just shows what a great group of ladies we have on this website.
As far as my two cents: I grew up with parents that *did* spank, but I hardly ever got spanked (my mom said twice) because I was a very good little kid. I don't agree with hitting as a form of discipline, but I do agree with spanking, if that makes any sense at all. But like a few of you have mentioned: If I'm angry, I'd need to calm down first. That's the same thing with verbal abuse: If you're mad, it's going to come out worse. However, some of the things mentioned in that letter are just downright abusive. It's sad to read, especially since *now* the father is upset about how he has affected his daughters adult life.
I also did not click the link. I am too emotional today to even begin to read something like that. I was spanked as a child and so were my brothers. I was often spanked for things I did NOT do, (and my brothers just lied and said I did) and at times for things I did in fact do. I have no issues because of it. i do spank my son, but I also wholeheartedly feel there is a difference in spanking and abuse. There are times time out does not work for him, and there are times that he does need a spanking. Usually it is for an outright defiance. and when he needs to remember. (example, he reached for the stove and was told not to. multiple times. He continued to do it we contineud to say no.. and finally he got spanked. he now avoids the stove. same for running into the street/in a parking lot etc ) I feel that everyone has a right to their opinion, but I also feel that at times this is what works for us.
My ex husband used to use a similar book to discipline our kids -after our divorce, mind you.
To Train Up a Child: Turning the hearts of the fathers to the children: Michael Pearl, Debi Pearl: Amazon.com: Kindle Store
He left marks on my kids, I called CPS and the "chatted" with him, but that was it. Thankfully, he's decided to take the absentee father approach while occassionally jumping in and buying them crap they don't need before disappearing for another 6+ months.
By the way, I'm not anti a swat on the toosh style spanking for defiance or dangerous situations either, but he hit my kids with hangers, wooden spoons, and "switches" against their naked behinds and left straight line whelps and bruises on their little behinds and thighs. Words cannot explain what I would have liked to do to him in return.
i read the article and cried, very sad think what she was feeling during these spanking. I was spanked here and there as a child, my parents never spanked me with sticks or on my bare butt. i dont think it affected me as a child or as an adult. I very rarely and i mean very rarely spank my son his first punishment is time out and that usually does the trick and i always give him 2 warnings and usually by the 2nd he has made the right decision. my DH is quick to give him time out and i always try to tell him give him a chance to make the right choice before punishing him. that is very sad that parents would really follow a man that claims to be so churchly in his ritual of abuse. That just makes me think how brained washed in there religion they truely are