What do you think?

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Heatherbella's picture
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What do you think?

So there is a mom at my DD's daycare who is also pg. She's due with twins in May. She has a DD already who is almost 4. So now here's my question...if you were her and you found out you were pregnant with twins and they were identical would you:

a) hope for 2 boys
b) hope for 2 girls

We talked today and she is so excited to be having 2 girls. He daughter is a great little girl and she says she has been pretty easy. She is happier to be having twin girls and not boys. Being a mom to a girl myself, I tended to agree with her. I know girls and I love having a daughter.

In pipes another mom "Boys are easier!". This other mom has 2 boys and 1 girl. She has spoken negatively to me about girls previously too. "Just you wait until she's 6...then it gets worse!". I Personally I hate the negative talk, but to each his/her own.

Anyways, ya, so if you were in the first mom's shoes, 4 yr old DD and pregnant with identical twins, what would you prefer?

Momma Leah's picture
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Personally, I would prefer boys. I have always wanted all boys, and it is not that I love my daughter less than my son. Boys to me are easier. I had and brother, more boys cousins, and have always had a more masculine personality and thought process more than the typical female type. I have never had close female friends and preferred to hang out with the boys. To me, boys are more physically demanding and girls are more emotionally demanding. I can handle the physical more than the emotional, and all the girl drama.

Now don't get me wrong, I know girls can be sweet but they can also turn around and be as mean as a snake and hold grudges for a long time Smile ! Boys are more straightforward and get it all out and over with.

I have always thought people that say they didn't care are full of bull myself, I think deep down everyone has a preference, some people just don't want to admit it :)! I would be happy with I was given, but if it was a perfect world, I guess that would be that way I would go!

desertdaisy's picture
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I would personally hope for two boys simply because I know my DH really wants a boy. I agree with Leah in that people have a preference but love their children regardless. Being that we were hoping boy and are having a girl, if I got PG the second time with identical twins, I would hope for boys because Lord knows I would be done after that! lol

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If I was only going to have the 3, then I would probably want all girls. I just love seeing how all my girls are with each other. Yes, they can be dramatic, but they are also sweet and nurturing, and really look out for each other and their little brother. Now, if I was her and my oldest was a boy, I think my feelings would be... "I don't care either way." The reason, it would be awesome for them to have same sex siblings to relate too, but for selfish reasons I have always wanted at least one girl.

HOnestly, I haven't had a boy for a real long time, but I do think that in the long run, yes, boys are probably easier to raise then girls. That being said, I think in our culture to raise, "men" and not "large boys" is getting harder and harder. With boys, more so than girls, I think it's very important to keep them busy with physical work... productive work that they can feel good about. I also think that boys thrive much more on competition, and that healthy competition needs to be in place for them. Girls are "okay" with competition, but don't necessarily "need" it. So, I say all this and still claim that boys are probably easier then girls in the long run. Why, because sometimes the drama from those girls (especially teenage hormonal ones) is just about enough to put one over the edge.

quonsetmom's picture
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I guess if I was done with 3 i would want boys to have at least one of each.

sandraleigh's picture
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In my experience, girls are easier when they are younger, and boys will be easier as teenagers. I guess I am glad that I will only have 1 teenage girl, because I know how they can be!

It's hard to say in her position! I think I would say boys so we'd have each gender, but I can completely understand just wanting more girls. My DH would say girls because he's all about the economics - same gender, use the same stuff over and over!

akpufa's picture
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In that situation, I think girls would be great because you already have a huge headstart on clothes and having a close friend with twins, I know it costs a ton just to cloth them. Plus boys tend to be harder on clothes. I don't agree with the "boys are easier" thing necessarily. My son has put more dings and dents in my house than I'd like to think about. My DD has her challenges too, they are just different. I'm sure it'll flip flop back and forth over the years too.

That being said, my friend with twins has a girl then two identical boys and she liked having both. I don't think there's a "right" answer - it all really comes down to the kids' temperaments.

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Having an 11 yo who just started her period, I would hope for boys, lol. ROFL Seriously though, I'm not sure. When I just had dd and was pregnant with Ds I wanted another dd, but he is so amazing! I am thankful I was blessed with dd2 and while I am somewhat hoping for a boy, I'm also hoping for another girl so I can have two girls close in age. I think boys and girls are both hard in their own ways and they're both easy in their own ways, and my girls are sooooo different from each other. I'm excited to meet this little person, boy or girl. So I guess, I have no idea! Biggrin

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Boys. Boys. Boys.

I love my daughter. She is the most amazing human being, child or adult, that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She just plain rocks. I could go on forever about why I admire and respect her already and she's only seven. I often say I hope when I grow up, I'm just like her. Smile

But OMG when it comes to parenting, my boy is just easier. Tori needs constant physical, emotional and academic challenge. Lucas is so laid back. Give him a new box of Legos and you won't hear a peep out of him for a week. He likes sports but if it's not soccer or basketball season, he's cool with just playing with toys at home. Tori can't handle that. She falls apart. It's hard to explain but we have to keep her little brain busy all the time. And so there's swim team and dance company and academic quizzing and piano lessons and constant trips to the library for more books and play dates and... Yeah.

As a baby, Tori came out screaming and didn't stop for seven months. Lucas was much better. He was fussy but compared to Tori, he was a breeze. Lucas potty trained himself "Dipies for babies. No more!" At 28 months old. Tori refused to talk until she was 2.5--she could, she just wouldn't. She never babbled "mamamama". It was pretty much one day just "Hey Mommy, I want a sandwich." Oh that child!!!

And I realize that these personality traits really have nothing to do with gender but assuming my girls would have Tori's traits and my boys wouldn't, give me boys every time. Tori is amazing, but she is exhausting. I don't know if I have the physical or emotional stamina for another Tori, let alone twin Toris!!!!

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I think the answer to this comes down to personal preference. I agree that there is usually some preference one way or the other no matter how slight. I had the least preference with my second...I guess also why I so enjoyed him being a surprise the entire pregnancy. In her situation I would hope for boys. I'm so happy to be having a girl this time since I have two boys but if I could only have one gender I would pick all boys. So, for me, I lucked out and am blessed to have my ideal family. Smile

ETA I also agree their personality/temperament is a big factor. My 2 boys are very different already and that is what creates the dynamic of our family as much as their genders.

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"PCCGirl813" wrote:

Boys. Boys. Boys.

I love my daughter. She is the most amazing human being, child or adult, that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She just plain rocks. I could go on forever about why I admire and respect her already and she's only seven. I often say I hope when I grow up, I'm just like her. Smile

But OMG when it comes to parenting, my boy is just easier. Tori needs constant physical, emotional and academic challenge. Lucas is so laid back. Give him a new box of Legos and you won't hear a peep out of him for a week. He likes sports but if it's not soccer or basketball season, he's cool with just playing with toys at home. Tori can't handle that. She falls apart. It's hard to explain but we have to keep her little brain busy all the time. And so there's swim team and dance company and academic quizzing and piano lessons and constant trips to the library for more books and play dates and... Yeah.

As a baby, Tori came out screaming and didn't stop for seven months. Lucas was much better. He was fussy but compared to Tori, he was a breeze. Lucas potty trained himself "Dipies for babies. No more!" At 28 months old. Tori refused to talk until she was 2.5--she could, she just wouldn't. She never babbled "mamamama". It was pretty much one day just "Hey Mommy, I want a sandwich." Oh that child!!!

And I realize that these personality traits really have nothing to do with gender but assuming my girls would have Tori's traits and my boys wouldn't, give me boys every time. Tori is amazing, but she is exhausting. I don't know if I have the physical or emotional stamina for another Tori, let alone twin Toris!!!!

Just so you know there is hope if you get another girl. My oldest girl sounds a LOT like your Tori, but my others are so much more laid back!!! Even from the screaming as a baby... that was my oldest. When people say I have my hands full now, I always say, "nope, when I just had ONE baby, it was the hardest." That's because my oldest was CRAZY as a baby. NOne of my others have been anywhere close to THAT crazy one!! Smile She has gotten easier with each passing year. HOwever, she is by far the most social and needs "activities" more so then my others by far.

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hmmm! Tough question! I think identical twin girls would be so cute, but maybe harder when they grew up having to be compared and share things. On the other hand, raising 2 boys together I think would be easier but that's all I know. MY DH said he wishes that DS2 was an identical twin because he is so sweet and having 2 of them would be easy!
I have heard girls are harder, but what do I know! I will say my boys are really easy!!!

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Girls! My girls are wonderful people and I/we would love more. My husband is a wonderful father to little girls. If we have a boy, that's great too. Health before gender, of course, but I love having girls