When is it ok to just say no... To comfort sucking?

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961
When is it ok to just say no... To comfort sucking?

Oliver would stay latched on 24/7 if I let him. I know this because the other day I fell asleep nursing him at 11 and when I woke up at 3:30, he was still latched on. And after he eats, he continues to suck forever. I know he's done eating because he's no longer swallowing and my nipples start to feel dry and it hurts a little. This morning I let him comfort suck for 45 minutes after he finished eating and he still screamed like we were tormenting him when I unlatched him to get ready to leave for swim.

This is entirely different than the intense nursing we just went through with his two week growth spurt. And if I don't let him keep sucking until he decides he is done, he has am absolute fit. Sometimes he will take a paci, but sometimes won't. If it were an extra 10-15 minutes, fine. I can play Candy Crush. Smile But I have other kids and can't nurse him for hours on end, night and day, day in and day out... Not when it's all about sucking and not actual eating.

what do I do??? Continue to encourage the pacifier? I don't want to upset him but I also have other things to get done and can't park on the couch all day long... It's wearing on me a bit!

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

I'm not a super fan of comfort sucking. If he's done, I pop him off. My nipples have been too sore to mess around with that nonsense. LOL

That said, M doesn't get super upset when I take him off and we can easily comfort him. We don't need a paci/soother. IF he was totally into the comfort sucking, I'd probably offer a paci/soother over comfort sucking on ME. Like you said, we have stuff to get done!

I was going to say something else...now I have no flippin' idea. Where is my brain? Sad

Joined: 08/25/07
Posts: 203

Hmmm, I can't handle screaming, so I'd encourage the pacifier. Asher will eat for an hour, but I will have multiple letdowns.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

My DS1 was like this too. That's part of why we coslept until he was 8 months old. He would be attached to me all night...I was a human pacifier. I finally had to do hardcore CIO to get him to sleep away from me b/c if he was in bed with me he was going to be attached. I was a zombie! I don't remember it being so bad during the day though. It's hard when they won't be easily satisfied with an alternative. I think I'd just keep encouraging a paci (I had no luck with either of my boys taking it though so no tips) and he may have to cry some too. I know it's not ideal and really hard. Sad But when you know all the immediate needs are taken care if and it's just about him wanting to comfort suck you just can't always accommodate it. Hope you can find a good solution.

Heatherbella's picture
Joined: 02/14/05
Posts: 4169

1 hour nursing? OMG, I'd lose it! We are like 10 mins tops.

Joined: 10/12/04
Posts: 961

We average 30 minutes for actual nursing. But usually he's only off an hour before he eats again. So it's 30 minutes out of every 90 during the day. I decided to start trying to make it two hours every time because I really think he's overeatng and getting a tummy ache which makes him want to comfort nurse even more.

I won't sleep with him in the bed when Jon is there because Jon is a deep sleeper and he flops all over. So I've been sleeping in the recliner with my arms propped up so even if I fall asleep, I can't drop him. He has several times stayed latched on for 3-4 hours like that. Even though I am sleeping through it, I wake up exhausted.

But this is all new since Wednesday. Before that he was nearly sleeping through the night in his cradle. Now suddenly he's super needy and won't stand for being laid down. He is up every hour or so all nighht long unless i let him stay latched. He also hasn't pooped since Tuesday and I fully believe there's a connection.

MJDttc's picture
Joined: 08/12/12
Posts: 1118

DS was a big comfort nurser, I am trying my best to keep her from becoming one as well.

Take him off as soon as he is done nursing, offer the paci if he doesn't take it then go about with some other way of getting him to calm down, the swing with music on usually works for Wyn or just snuggles while listening to music.

Joined: 08/25/10
Posts: 385

If he's not pooping, there could definitely be a connection. M frequently likes to nurse to help him poo - it relaxes the bowels. M likes to comfort suck too, but he doesn't really ever get to since I have so much milk (feeding the toddler too). Last week he got a day where he could for a while without a letdown, and he was SO happy nursing and awake for 20 minutes extra. He also cluster feeds a lot in the 4 or so hours before bed, so he's nursing a lot anyways. No advice - but I hope his tummy feels better soon.

quonsetmom's picture
Joined: 10/10/12
Posts: 1559

I said no at two weeks