I think I'm pregnant. I'm pretty sure I am, and I'm pretty devastated right now. Even though I've been on bcps faithfully af failed to show last Thurs. I had what looked like implantation spotting on Saturday, have done 3 FRERs since and all were BFPs. Did a Clearblue digi this morning and it was a bfn. The FRERs are quite obvious - definitely 2 pink lines, no squinting required. Maybe it's just too early with the digi, IDK. I'm beyond scared. I'm too old to do this again, especially with the problems I had with both pregnancies. We don't have the room or the money for another baby. I KNOW this would mean another bedrest and how am I supposed to do that with 2 kids at home?? I'm on medications that I definitely can't take if I'm pg and I'm scared to death of what will happen if I have to stop taking them.DH was upset last night when I told him I could be pg. He said we'd lose everything (and that's a knee jerk reaction - we won't lose a thing), but eventually he calmed down enough to say that whatever happens, happens. He knows I won't terminate. I feel like I've let my kids down, and that I'm taking some of their future happiness and financial security away from them. Life's been pretty great with our girl and boy. It seems like lots of stuff in the world is just made for a family of 4 and I felt complete with what we had. Now it feels like I'm destroying all of it. I'm pretty sad, actually.
I posted some pics on the Do You See A Line board, if anyone's interested.