Not So Good Over Here Right Now.

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
April777's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 10/01/08
Posts: 579
Not So Good Over Here Right Now.

Zoey is crying non-stop since the baby came home. She's a wreck. Its not like she's crying and throwing tantrums either, as if she isn't getting her way. It's literally out of sadness and fear. It's really heartbreaking. I know it's only day 3 but I'm really about to lose it. Has anyone had a kiddo react this way?

I have DH for 9 more days. If it doesn't get better I don't know what i'll do. I have to leave the room to feed or diaper Milo because she screams in agony and clings to my husband if Milo starts to cy. It's so sad. She isn't misbehaving or acting out in any other way. She's just crying all the time and needing to be held and cuddled and loved. It's like when a kid is sick and they just need to be held constantly and loved. It's really hard on me because I'm terrified she won't get over it before he goes back to work. Sad

thinkinpositive's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 9 months ago
Joined: 06/18/05
Posts: 18

Oh gosh honey NO! You poor thing. I'm sure you've tried everything but the only thing I can think of off the top of my head is involving Zoey somehow. Like, having a private chat with her about how important she is in this new arrangement. That Milo loves her very much, arrived here to be her baby brother and that he needs her help. And then try to give her ways to help you. Big Hugs sweetie. It has to be very difficult to have time alone with Zoey right now, which would also help. I sure hope she turns around before DH goes back to his regular schedule. Please KUP!

Offline
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/08/05
Posts: 206

oh April honey, i'm sorry to hear the transition back home hasn't been smooth.....I don't have any other suggestions, but I think Heather's ideas of involving Zoey and letting her know that she needs to be the "big girl" to help her baby brother is a good one. I know they're still so young (I don't know how Lily got her head around it all, as she was only 19 months when Josie was born), but I guess just try to keep things as "normal" as possible for her so her little world isn't too crazily different. Having Mark home will really help with that and I bet that before he goes back to work she will have settled into life with her baby brother. Good luck hon and hang in there, I can only imagine how hard it must be seeing her so upset. Sad

oh and one more thing....while it's great that Mark is around to give Zoey lots of attention so she doesn't feel like this new little person has "replaced" her, you will still need to make a big effort to find some mum and Zoey time too. I know it's hard when you're BFing and it's all about mum and baby in those early days. But whenever he's sleeping or you can pass him off to Mark, make sure you and Zoey hang out just the two of you and do the fun stuff she's used to doing with you so she understands that mum is still there for her too. Smile

April777's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 10/01/08
Posts: 579

Definitely trying to include her as much as possible. I ask for help with everything and she says no to everything. I also try to spend time with her alone but she cries and begs, "Daddy do it?" She doesn't want me near her. But I try 2000 times a day regardless. I managed to do her bath today with minimal crying on her part, and we started to have a picnic lunch which, unfortunately, was interrupted by a crying baby who needed to eat. I tried to nurse him on the balcony on the picnic blanket but she was totally done with lunch by then because of his presence. I'm trying though. Constantly. As for passing Milo off to DH, we're actually making a point of putting him down and not carrying him around all the time. We feel it's best right now for him to sleep somewhere other than our arms while poor Zoey adjusts to him.

The tough part is BFing. He's feeding an hour at a time every 2 hours so breaks in between are minimal. A tad time consuming to say the least. He's having some latch and let down issues right now which I expect will improve soon. I'm hoping once that happens he'll be a faster nurser.

Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: It must be such a huge adjustment for you all. It sounds like you are taking steps in the right direction, so hopefully it will improve by the time DH goes back to work. Do you have any friends or family close by that you can call on if things get rough when he's at work?

Offline
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/08/05
Posts: 206

"April777" wrote:

Definitely trying to include her as much as possible. I ask for help with everything and she says no to everything. I also try to spend time with her alone but she cries and begs, "Daddy do it?" She doesn't want me near her. But I try 2000 times a day regardless. I managed to do her bath today with minimal crying on her part, and we started to have a picnic lunch which, unfortunately, was interrupted by a crying baby who needed to eat. I tried to nurse him on the balcony on the picnic blanket but she was totally done with lunch by then because of his presence. I'm trying though. Constantly. As for passing Milo off to DH, we're actually making a point of putting him down and not carrying him around all the time. We feel it's best right now for him to sleep somewhere other than our arms while poor Zoey adjusts to him.

The tough part is BFing. He's feeding an hour at a time every 2 hours so breaks in between are minimal. A tad time consuming to say the least. He's having some latch and let down issues right now which I expect will improve soon. I'm hoping once that happens he'll be a faster nurser.

By the looks of your latest FB post, things might be getting a bit better over there with Zoey? I really hope so. Smile Sending you huge (((((HUGS))))) hon.

April777's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 10/01/08
Posts: 579

Yes, a little bit! Less on the heartbreaking crying, and more on the tantrums. Tantrums are annoying but they don't crush my soul. I can live with tantrums.

thinkinpositive's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 9 months ago
Joined: 06/18/05
Posts: 18

Oh I'm glad there's a little light at the end of the tunnel, honey. I wanted to mention that T.J.'s going through a major "Daddy-Daddy" phase right now himself. I can be right there, ready to play with him, holding him, whatever and if DH goes by or he knows he's in the house and the mood strikes - it's all about him. So some of what Zoey's going through may also just be common behaviors that seem larger than life because of the circumstances. :bighug: