Please tell me this is normal...

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marymoonu's picture
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Please tell me this is normal...

OMG, I'm losing it. Please tell me this is just "Terrible 2's" and I'm not just doing everything wrong.

EVERYTHING is a crisis to Sean. Everything. If we take something away from him that he shouldn't be messing with, it's a tantrum. If we make him sit because he's harassing the dog and making the dog upset, it's a tantrum. If we make him get off of the baby (he loves him a little too much and doesn't know his own strength)... Yep, another tantrum. I just feel like for the last couple weeks, he is into everything he shouldn't be, he doesn't listen when we tell him not to do something (and in fact seems to find it funny to push the boundaries). And I feel like we just aren't handling it well at all. We try to be consistent, but I'm finding at times that we aren't... Not intentionally, but just because we don't always think before reacting to what he's doing. Like yesterday, DH gave him a little smack on the hand for taking off with one of the baby's empty bottles, when I realized that I've let him play with them before once they were empty. So I know that we do need to work on being consistent sometimes, but it's definitely not the case that we're always or even often inconsistent. So I just don't know, but I feel like we've been doing something wrong. DH questions if he's getting enough sleep. I think he does, but DH thinks he doesn't. He probably sleeps ~10 solid hours at night, but he has started rejecting his daytime naps sometimes. I'm not sure how many hours they need at this point, to be honest. I worry that he feels like he's not getting enough attention now that baby is here, although he's usually good at engaging us when he wants attention, either with toys, books, or something. And of course we try to just incorporate giving him attention into our normal functions. Ugggghhh.... I don't know. :confused:

harmonybear's picture
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It sounds normal to me. He's going through the "terrible two's" at the same time as getting a new sibling. That's not easy to deal with when you don't have the tools to handle your emotions.

A went through something like that around 10-14 months where we would have days that were pretty much day-long tantrums. Everything was a crisis, you couldn't so much as look at her the wrong way without inviting a screaming fit. These days she's much more calm, though when she does have an outburst it's more intense than it was at a year.

We did our best to be consistent, too, and it's not easy. Talk with your DH about what the exact rules are, and what the specific consequence will be. Knowing in advance what you will do is very helpful. One of your best tools for consistency is having a plan.

And chocolate. Sometimes I think I only got through those first few months because of Reese's peanut butter cups. Wink

AimeeLynne's picture
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I have my monster baby back!! I had to put him in time out twice before leaving the house yesterday...he was only up for a hour at that point!! Everything with him is now NO, and he has started to throw things/push things off the tables when he gets pi$$ed!! He's definitely pushing boundaries now! At the dinner table if he doesn't want to eat he'll "accidentally" knock his fork on the floor. And when you see him trying to do it and say no, he looks at you, and then pushes it off like he's saying "whatcha gonna do about it". He gets in these moods now and again and its starting to get to the point where I am wondering if being pg is a good idea! lol Hopefully they will grow out of it soon.

marymoonu's picture
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"AimeeLynne" wrote:

I have my monster baby back!! I had to put him in time out twice before leaving the house yesterday...he was only up for a hour at that point!! Everything with him is now NO, and he has started to throw things/push things off the tables when he gets pi$$ed!! He's definitely pushing boundaries now! At the dinner table if he doesn't want to eat he'll "accidentally" knock his fork on the floor. And when you see him trying to do it and say no, he looks at you, and then pushes it off like he's saying "whatcha gonna do about it". He gets in these moods now and again and its starting to get to the point where I am wondering if being pg is a good idea! lol Hopefully they will grow out of it soon.

This sounds exactly like Sean! And yes, his response to everything now is "No" and it makes me SO mad. He even gets this little defiant, sarcastic-like tone to his voice when he says no... OMG!! Drives me insane. He's definitely testing his limits right now and I'm NOT enjoying it.

Harmony - Mine is ice cream, hahaha. Wink I agree, we definitely need to set a very specific plan of action.

Erin Elizabeth's picture
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"harmonybear" wrote:

And chocolate. Sometimes I think I only got through those first few months because of Reese's peanut butter cups. Wink

Amen! There are just those days where a little extra chocolate is needed.

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"AimeeLynne" wrote:

and he has started to throw things/push things off the tables when he gets pi$$ed!! He's definitely pushing boundaries now! At the dinner table if he doesn't want to eat he'll "accidentally" knock his fork on the floor. And when you see him trying to do it and say no, he looks at you, and then pushes it off like he's saying "whatcha gonna do about it".

Kieran does that too! He likes to stand at the gate between the living room and kitchen and he'll drop something and then start screaming because he wants it. Its ridiculous lol. I've started taking it away whenever he throws it (whatever it is; usually his sippy cup).

And he throws lots of fits too. Some days are worse than others, but overall I think its normal. MIL made a comment that irritated me the other day, she asked if Kieran was going to be a "moody child" like his father was. I'm like, he's TWO! That's pretty normal for this age! I mean that's what everyone says about this age, right? Either way we are right there with you. I think what makes it worse for him is that he still is mostly non-verbal. He is learning some small words and signs though so if I think I know what he wants when he's screaming, I'll ask him to tell me instead.

We are not all that consistent either unfortunately, its something we need to work on for sure. For example, we used to not let Kieran go up/down the stairs by himself at all, but recently I've eased up on that a bit. He's really good at it by now, and I know I can't hold his hand forever. I'll still follow him, but if he starts to go up without me its not a big deal. DH though still thinks that is off-limits and its probably confusing for Kieran. I have also started doing time outs more. Not in the sense of a punishment, though I think it does help it sink in that screaming is not appropriate, but really just to get him out of the situation and let him calm down some.

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Hayleigh has hit the crisis stage! She has also learned "mine" and will grab things now. She is also growling when she gets angry with me!

drama, drama, drama!

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both my 4 yr old and Rya are doing this :eek: DS its more defiance, Rya is more "No" and "Mine". She also has a hard time listening, more in the sense of when shopping she'll wander away and won't come back till I fetch her, unlike her brother who'd come back when I told him to. I think for her I started DS's deiscipline earlier and consistantly, but she seems younger and I feel like she's too young for it sometimes and now I'm paying for it.

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I'm definitely there with you. I think a lot of it is to do with being two, but I think a lot of the specific triggers have to do with our new LO.

For instance, Cam has his birthday and turned two almost a month ago, but I'm sure that it's this week that he actually *became* two if that makes any sense. He's had tons of tantrums and such for a while now, but only this week has it been from the drop of a hat. Even when I nicely suggest he get a certain toy or something he will flip like I just yelled at him.

Before this week he wanted to just follow me around all the time, but just this week, he has now found a sense of adventure. He will either play quietly or get into everything (which I'm sure to him is the same.) In the past week he has smeared the Desitin in his hair, flushed - not one, but two - cows down our toilet on separate days, dumped an entire sippy cup of milk on the couch methodically drip by drip and then scrubbed it in using the dish brush, and figured out how to move the stool to Riley crib and jumped in and could actually operate the mobile and all her toys that he has never used before.

He has also just within the past couple of weeks developed the ability to really 'play' by himself (not that it happens for long of often), been able to almost follow the plot of a movie, and started resisting bedtime/naps (which he has never done before.) So with all the related development, I'm pretty tempted to say it's just being two. Smile
Obviously though, having the new baby doesn't help, b/c while he all the sudden needs more attention, he is getting less.

marymoonu's picture
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Okay, what you're going through with Cam sounds identical to what we've got going on with Sean... And they both have little siblings the same age, so my vote is on "normal". LOL... I can't believe he has flushed two cows down the toilet. ROFL The sippy of milk in the couch sounds exactly like Sean though. Except the sippies we use are pretty good about not leaking, so he'll just suck out mouthfuls and then spit it out, down the front of his shirt, onto the couch, uuugghhh! :roll:

ETA: And I told you on fb about Sean getting the Boudreaux's butt paste all through his hair (and my carpet... came up easily with a baby wipe, thankfully)... It sounds like they're into a lot of the same stuff right now, haha... Another reason I'm going with "normal".

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"marymoonu" wrote:

Okay, what you're going through with Cam sounds identical to what we've got going on with Sean... And they both have little siblings the same age, so my vote is on "normal". LOL... I can't believe he has flushed two cows down the toilet. ROFL The sippy of milk in the couch sounds exactly like Sean though. Except the sippies we use are pretty good about not leaking, so he'll just suck out mouthfuls and then spit it out, down the front of his shirt, onto the couch, uuugghhh! :roll:

Haha about the spitting the milk out! I'm glad Cam hasn't caught on to that ability yet! Ours are good about not leaking, too, but I completely didn't realize that DH had put one together and back in the cupboard without putting a valve back in...So totally my own fault. I have a pic of it on fb too, lol - I think in the 'random' folder if you want to check it out.

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I'm so dealing with this too. The funny thing will be that he will wake up in a cantakerous mood and I know its going to be a high drama day of screaming and yelling. Then the next day he will be in fantastic happy mood.

Thursday was a bad day. He dropped a toy at his own feet (not on but next to his feet) and he started screaming like he was hurt. I had to tell him it was ok and all he needed to do was pick it up. He did and he was ok for a few moments until the next major tragedy.