She quit going to sleep!

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Girlandi's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 49
She quit going to sleep!

I am about ready to go crazy. Katie refuses to go to sleep at night anymore. We put her to bed, in her room and bed, at 8:30. Because she'll bother Miriam if we put them in the same room before Katie has fallen asleep, Miriam crawls into our bed and rests until Katie falls asleep, which used to be 1/2 hour or so. Last night it was 11:30. The night before and for the last two weeks or so it has been anywhere from 10:00 to 10:30. Miriam is frustrated, because she really doesn't want to be sleeping in our bed, and DH and I are frustrated because we can't go to bed until Miriam is in her bed.
Last night I tried to cuddle her to sleep, thinking maybe she was lonely or afraid of the dark, but then she just started squirming about and trying to play, so I put her back to bed and she fell asleep for a few moments, at which point I put Miriam into her own bed and started getting ready to go to bed myself. About 10 minutes later a very irritated, drowsy Miriam came into the kitchen to tell us that Kathryn had crawled into her bed and was keeping her up, and that she couldn't sleep with Katie still awake. At this point I put Miriam to bed in the guest room, where she promptly fell asleep, and then went back into the girls' room, put Katie back to bed and listened to her pout, protest and kick the wall for another half hour. I'm not sure what to do, short of cutting her nap out, which tends to just make her cranky and less likely to finish the day well. Any suggestions?
Things had been going well, and we were going to start trying to put the girls to bed at the same time again, but now I can barely get them into the same room before 10, and it isn't fair to Miriam to make her wait in our bed when she really, really wants to be in her own bed.

MichiGal23's picture
Joined: 09/19/07
Posts: 152

I don't have any advice really, as Izzie is starting this too. I think a lot of it is just another way of them trying to have control over something in their lives. (Also, on our part I think it has to do with the fact that Max isn't doing great with the whole bedtime thing and she sees that he gets dealt with, so why can't she too?). ::sigh:: Izzie will sit in there and cry "mommy! Mommy! Mommy" as if something is wroong, and as soon as I or DH goees in, she's ready to get out of bed, trying to convince us she's "all done sleepin" in her cute, convincing voice with the nodding head. Then when we tell her its time for bed, she has to sleep, blah, blah, blah and leave the room, she'll lay in there and throw a hairy fit for a good 10 minutes before quieting down.

I don't have any advice, but I can offer big hus. And hope that somebody else has something more.

ekcanada's picture
Joined: 05/06/09
Posts: 1707

I can't really comment considering I only have one LO, just wanted to send support!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It might still be worth trying to put them to bed at the same time. If she sees her sister following the same routine and going to sleep, maybe she'll be more inclined to follow along.

Girlandi's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 49

They do go to bed at about the same time. They have their bath together, brush their teeth, get a story together, etc. We separate them for the first bit at sleeping time because Katie is even worse if Miriam is in the room with her. We tried to do them together for about a month, and we would hear playing, go in to intervene, and Miriam start to settle down. The next things we would hear would be Miriam telling Katie to go back to bed, it was sleep time, and eventually Miriam would just roll over and go to sleep, and Katie would continue to bounce and try to get her to play. It didn't get better, so we separated them until Katie falls asleep, which didn't take very long until recently.
So Kat sees Miriam going through the same routine as she does because they do it together. Ah well. It sounds like it might not be so odd, and I think you're right, it is most decidedly a control issue.

Joined: 07/26/05
Posts: 10

My girls share a room and they go to bed at the same time. I could see the same thing happening, but Remi is still in her crib, so they may play a bit, but eventually she falls asleep and Ember just quietly plays on her bed. Could you put Katie back in her crib/pack-n-play for awhile and see if that does anything?

ababyforus's picture
Joined: 11/26/08
Posts: 59

Eme has recently been refusing to go to sleep too so no advice here

Girlandi's picture
Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 49

"~*Meme*~" wrote:

My girls share a room and they go to bed at the same time. I could see the same thing happening, but Remi is still in her crib, so they may play a bit, but eventually she falls asleep and Ember just quietly plays on her bed. Could you put Katie back in her crib/pack-n-play for awhile and see if that does anything?

Kat's too big to fit in the crib/pack n play. She's about the size of a 3 year old, so putting her back might actually make things worse because she'd be squashed. Even if she wasn't so big, she figured out how to climb out of the crib at 18 months.
For now we're cutting her nap down to about a hour and then running her as much as possible in the evening. It helps some, but we're all exhausted as well.

**tess**'s picture
Joined: 10/13/08
Posts: 114

This might sound obvious, but why don't you let them sleep in separate rooms? It sounds like you have the rooms. Just let the guest room be a guest room only when you actually have guests. It might even help not to have so many toys in the room where she is supposed to be sleeping.

When we have guests we usually move Corinna into another room because the guest bed is in her room next to her crib. Some guests don't mind sleeping in the same room with her, either.

Just an idea.

PeppermintPatty's picture
Joined: 08/21/07
Posts: 426

We just moved our girls into the same room, so I could get Moriah out of the crib and turn her room into the new baby's room.

I too, need to stagger their bedtimes otherwise Moriah will just laugh and talk and keep her big sister awake. So, the little one goes down at 7pm and big sister is down at 8pm.

I am having a hard time lately with Moriah waking up in the middle of the night. In addition to her sleeping horribly at night (thus waking up the 5 year old) she is absolutely and completely cranky during the day. I happened to look in her mouth today during lunch and she opened it nice and wide for me. She has one molar that is halfway through and another that is poking its way through the gums.

This is now making sense to me why she has been having a hard time with sleeping through the night this past couple days (obviously this doesnt really solve the bigger problem I have of her keeping her sister awake) but at least I can explain the irritability!!

So....... maybe Katie is just uncomfortable from teething?? I know Moriah has had a couple of rough bedtime routines lately where she will need to be rocked, then rocked again and still doesn't fall asleep nicely and without crying. Do you know if she has her two year molars yet?

I am sorry you are having it rough. I can totally sympathize with you. Hoping it is something small like teething!!