Time out question
Hello ladies, I'm back to being able to post again. I've tried to keep up with at least reading everything that's been going on, but with school I never have time to actually write anything.
Anyway, here's the dilemma at our house: time outs. Isabella is very strong willed (to say the least), she fights us on every single thing. I know part of it is this lovely age she's in, but some of it is just her personality. She's been this way since before she was born, quick to temper and quick to laugh. But when I tell her she cannot sit in the freezer and it's time to close the door, DD refuses to look me in the eye or heck even acknowledge that I'm talking, but as soon as I pull her away to redirect her it's full on WAR!!! Kicking, screaming, limp body, etc., etc., etc.......And then she's sitting in the hall in time out bawling for the who knows how many times that day. We have to discipline somehow, I'm not going to walk on eggshells around a two year old b/c I'm afraid of a tantrum.
My question is: can you really time out too much? I can't say it's not working, she sometimes does seem to think about it when I get down on her level and remind her that we cannot do (insert a loooong list), but then in about half a second she just goes for it anyway.
I'm hoping that me being off from school for the next three weeks can make a big difference in the behavior. I'm also scared that it won't.
It sounds like your little lady certainly is frustrated with things.
Does she have a lot of words?
I've noticed that when Maria gets really frustrated, it's because she can't find the words to communicate what she wants. Then she goes in an all out tantrum, I think she needs a time out but she actually just needed to calm down and get across what she wants/needs.
If timeouts aren't working (having too many in a day) maybe there is an alternative method to use? I'm not sure what that would be though.
She mostly gets frustrated if things don't go her way!!
Isabella has an incredible vocabulary. Just today she told me her shirt was "too tight" and to "take it off". So it's not like she can't communicate with me. She will repeat anything you say with the exception of some words with the /L/ sound in it. She avoids those words or at the most will make up an entirely new word. Flower is Bowwer.
I just don't want to do the entire day either being kicked, slapped, or trying to manage a tantrum monster OR putting her into timeouts non-stop. I don't think its healthy to be punished all the time, and I'm constantly doing positive reinforcement for the good things she does. When she goes into tantrum mode I've been trying to talk her through them, but there are times when she just will not even acknowledge me and she's so focused on getting her way that there's nothing I can do. Isabella is a doll, but she knows what she wants and she'll go through you or whomever to get it.
Are there certain things that trigger tantrums? You mentioned getting in the freezer makes her upset when you have to shut the door. If you can isolate things like that and just try to keep her away from them until she's a little more mature and can handle it? Just an example... The dishwasher is a topic of stress for us... When I load/unload it, Sean has to be all in it grabbing things. So I have to worry that he's going to grab a knife or be playing in gross spoiled milk drippings or something. After doing it countless times and us going through the exact same struggle every time, I finally just started sticking him in his high chair while I did it. He cried through it the first couple times, but now will just sit there and hang out while I get my stuff done. I don't really hear that recommendation for "discipline" so it might be wrong, but it has worked for us! I figure eventually he'll realize that the dishwasher is boring and leave it alone, but for now, he waits in his high chair. ;)
have you tried to walk away when she is throwing the tantrum? Then she will know she cannot get her way. Don't pay attention to her until she is done with her tantrum.
There are definite triggers to the tantrums. Like the fridge/freezer, the computer, and the pantry. She loves to plunder through things, and if it's safe I usually let her explore and discover, but I those things/places are off limits for obvious reasons. If I walk away from the tantrum, it follows me!! Or it just intensifies. I'm at the point where I just hope she starts to settle down just a little and not go to such extremes on every little thing.