Thread: Discipline question JULY 2008

Since Cory is on the verge of mobility I have been thinking about this too.

How do you discipline your baby so that when she goes to other people's houses she doesn't run rampant? When my sis's kids began crawling and her babies started grabbing for her things (the off limits stuff) she never followed through with NO or whatever and found it just easier to remove all things w/i baby's reach. However, she now has kids that touch whatever they want whenever they want. I want my child to learn what is hers and what isn't so that I can leave some stuff out in my house without baby proofing literally everything. So Cory can one day go to grandmas and not demolish stuff. Do you know what I mean?

Seems like my sis took the easy way out and her kids never learned to respect other people's stuff. Although I am sure it is hard, I'd like to try my best to follow through. If you have kids that aren't human wrecking balls in others' home (or yours for that matter), how did you accomplish that discipline wise?
Also, is it time to start saying a firm "NO" to our babies when they do something we don't like??? I've started doing this when Cory whines.

I've been doing it for a while, the firm "no" and I try to give her something she can have if she's grabbing something I don't want her to have. Sometimes if she's being particularly obstinate about it, I tap her hand and shake my head, I try not to use her name but it just falls out of my mouth sometimes. I'm defintely trying to stem the whining and tantrums and she's actually getting better - she doesn't scream so much when I leave her with someone but when we're at home and I go in the basement, she freaks out so I tell her I'll be back and she kind of wimpers more than screams like she used to so I think she's getting it. But I also try to keep her in an environment where she won't be inclined to act out; like stores or even the office now, she gets bored and doesn't want to be there so I have to be realistic about what she does in a space that isn't for her.

Yes! A good firm NO! and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again! Once NO, always NO! This is the time to begin boundry training... they CAN and WILL learn what is theirs and what isn't.

I don't discipline my babies. I use redirection and removing things they can't touch until they are old enough to actually understand what "breakable" means. My kids are 4 and 5 and know if something is breakable they need to either not touch it or be very gentle. I also don't take them to places that aren't baby friendly, but I know that doesn't work for everyone. My family is great about making sure their houses are child/baby friendly. Dh's parents are not so my children don't go to their house. If they want to see my kids they come here.

Brayden is an adament baby. when put on the floor, eh immediately crawls towards the tv stand drawers, or the wires underneath the desk. I tell him NO firmly and then pick him up and turn him the other direction as many times I need to until he crawls away. I will not hit him. I believe it will be Daddy's job to spank (yes, we will spank) when Brayden is of the age to do things intentional, but not for mundane things.

Well, it's all about using age appropriate techniques.

At this age, and up until about 18-24 months, redirection after a firm "no" is really all that you can do. You can get baby used to a playpen to make trips to other houses easier...then you can put baby in a PnP and not worry about nicnaks breaking.

At about 18-24 months you can start to institute time-outs. We set up two playpens in the hallway to make a sort of 'time-out box'. We call it the Penalty Box (we're hockey fans). 1 minute in the penalty box for every year of age. And only calm babies/children come out of time out. Like a PP said, 'once no, always no'. It's all about consistency so that baby knows what to expect.

It was a while before I did any real discipline but "No" seemed to work as well as moving baby away from the stuff... Im lucky that my kiddos dont get into stuff that they know is off limits.. In the kitchen they have their own little cabinet and know they can play in that one but not in the others.

Great post though.. As you said its alla bout teaching them right from wrong. If you let them go the easy way out then they will never learn. As long as you arent doing the easy way then I think the discipline will come natural

I'm the same as many other poster. "No" and removed/distracted from the area. Once older(12-18months) I said, "No touch" and my now 2.5 year old knows what ever the object is is off limits. Plus of course "the look" is an added thing I do when she is testing me and my seriousness.

I say "no" firmly and redirect him, which is happening a lot since he is crawling and pulling-up. When he is a little older, I will smack his hand when he touches things he shouldn't. I don't do that yet, as he is still learning what "no" means. I think it is important to teach them what is touchable, because not everywhere is child proofed. Even in my own house, I do very little "child proofing". I would rather "house proof" my child.

Originally Posted by CourtneyS

In the kitchen they have their own little cabinet and know they can play in that one but not in the others.

Yeah, see something like this is what I want. My sis comes over and she's like "oh you gotta move that, oh that can't be there, etc etc, even says "Pretty soon you'll have to clear everything off all your tables" etc. I mean, I know I have to do this to some extent but I have talked to other moms who seemed to be able to maintain their home decor AND have kids. I actually have no home decor so that'll be easy lol but I really don't want kids who run into someone else's house and start pulling open all the drawers, unwinding the toilet paper, jumping on beds, etc.

What do you do about things like cat litter or cat food? Can I just teach my baby not to mess with it? Or is that like hoping for a miracle lol? My sister basically operated as anything w/in their reach was theirs to mess with. Problem is, they act the same way at other people's houses. My sister's solution to the cat litter is close that door to that room but is that teaching them anything?? Jeez, I guess I could close all doors all day for that matter.

ANd I see there is not much discipline to be done so far, I guess I just would like to know what is recommended..

So far, "NO" and redirection. OK got it.