Sarah - you really are truly an amazing strong woman. Although I don't know you personally (or through the boards) there is no way to not feel connected to all people on these birth boards. And your story really hits home with being just 2 months behind you with our sons and 1 month ahead of you for our beans.
Please know that all of us on PO are here for you in any way. And the thoughts and prayers are pouring out for you. And we are ALL here for you and your family.
That poem is absolutely beautiful!
Sarah I hope this is ok. I found this poem on the grief board and it reminded me of your strength and I wanted to share it.
What Makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say...
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mummy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mum
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mummy set me free.
I miss my Mummy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
Mummy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson there is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Through some on earth may not realise
Until their time is done.
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are a special Mum!
written by Jennifer Wasik
You are truly an amazing person. I don't think I would be as strong as you seem to be. Maybe it is my pregnancy hormones but I just seem to ache for your family. I know Reed had a cherished life with you and your DH. Just wanted you to know that since reading some of your posts I now make my own bread, use CD and went from a TV holic to never turn the darn thing on. Learning to knit and want to learn to sew. I though about the home birth but after having a huge baby (c-section) not so sure I want to do that! Made piece with working full time. You have simply been an inspiration to me even though you did not know it. You now impress me with your continued strength. Please take care of yourself during this time.
Sarah your strength is truly inspiring. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sarah, you are so amazingly strong. I am in awe of your strength and grace at such a hard time, it is truly inspiring.
Gardenbug, I hope you have a safe, gentle and fast trip to Edmonton.
All of the poems you two have post have moved me to tears. They were beautiful.
I hope, as others have said, that you will continue, if you can, to be a part of our BB because you both are such a wonderful part of it.
Thank you for the update Sarah!
Mama to Kostas with the Mostest, born 07/10/07
and Marek "Cricket" Joshua, born 12/07/12
Shana, mom to Gavriel, Ilan and Nadav, and wife to Ari.
Dr. Cookie and the munchkins!
~Asking for prayers to help heal Ilan and Nadav from a burn accident~
I could've written the very same thing, line by line, about how my day went. When I talked to friends and family about my feelings I explained that this is a friend in my mommy's group, and left it at that. No one would really understand our connection with each other unless they are on here too...there is no other cyber friend situation that even compares.
My DH came home really late last night. When I told him what happened to Reed he was SO visibly upset. It was almost scared me...he had been rough housing with the babies and laughing and playing. When I told him about Reed he instantly got really quiet and upset and then a few minutes later disappeared into the bedroom. I thought he was prepping the bath water but come to find out he was in bed, saying a migrained hit him hard suddenly. He didn't even do bath time. In fact, routine and bath wasn't even that important to me either...I just played and played with the girls an extra hour later.
Sarah you are so very strong and amazing.
2 girlies so NOT the same!
I can't say anything different than what's already been said. Just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and your family.
Wow... those poems are incredible. I'm sitting here in my little corner of the world crying, trying to understand why your worlds have been ripped out from under you while I sit here and watch Keira in her little pink dress and pigtails, dancing next to me, adorned with her Teletubbies headband and her favorite mini soccer ball in one hand. Some things only the Lord knows, and I hope someday all the "why's" will become clear.
Thanks for checking in with us, Sarah and 'Bug - as many others have said, your strength has already been an inspiration to us all. Please continue to hang out with us when you can! Reed will be terribly missed, but so will you...