EDD July 13, 2008
At 6:45 am I got up to go to the bathroom. This was one of many early morning trips during sleep. I headed back to bed and felt wet like I forgot to wipe. I checked with my hand as my clothes seemed wet. I stood up and a rush of amniotic fluid ran down my legs. I walked to the bathroom and another rush all over the floor. My dog was following me around. I think she knew something was going on. The waters kept rushing. I paced around trying to figure out what to do. I grabbed a wad of paper towels and held it between my legs as I thought about what I should do.
I then cleaned up the floor and called my husband. He was at work 2 hours away. He previously told the guy he was working for I was pregnant and due around this job. We were really hoping the baby would wait until Friday, after this job.
I paced around again trying to figure out what to do next. I grabbed my list for packing and looked it over then grabbed the phone and called my mom. I told her she was going to be a grandmother either today or tomorrow and that my water just broke. I asked her to get snacks/juices for the birth center as I had planned on getting them, but my car was in the shop being repaired.
I took the packing list and packed a few things then went downstairs and took belly pictures and posted on the boards. My husband called back saying he found a replacement and was on his way home. My mom called and said she would be stopping to get breakfast. I told her to get me some and she was shocked I was allowed to eat. I laughed and told her it was absolutely fine if I ate.
Belly pics after my water broke
While I waited for my mom I packed my bag a bit more. Mom suggested calling the birth center, but I had a feeling it would be awhile before things got going. I called Joanne my midwife and she said to call the birth center at 11 or 11:30 to make an appt to confirm my water broke and call if the contractions became stronger.
Troy called back saying he was able to get off of work and was heading home
Mom and I finished breakfast and waited for Troy as I continued packing my birth bag.
My pressure waves were getting stronger and closer together during this time so I put on some soothing music and rocked on my birth ball until it was time to call the birth center
Mom was very excited and so was Troy. Troy started to time my pressure waves with the contraction master online and they were averaging about 31/2 minutes apart.
Around 11:15 I called the birth center and they said to come in right away to get checked, so we packed up the car in case we were not to return. I kept saying they are going to send us back home, but my mom was convinced this baby was coming soon! I lay on the couch before leaving for the birth center to turn off my light switch and enter hypnosis. I listened to my Hypnobabies CD in the car on the way and it helped to keep me relaxed during the drive over.
We arrived around 12 and I checked my urine and my weight. Joanne checked me and amniotic fluid poured all over the floor and she confirmed yes indeed it was my water that broke. She said she could see a full head of dark hair! Troy and I were so floored and excited to know something about this baby inside of me. It made us that much more anxious to meet him! She said I was 2 cm and almost completely effaced.
Next they wanted to do an NST on the baby, so they hooked me up to the monitors and I sat in a recliner for about a half an hour while they made some observations. My pressure waves were coming around 3 minutes apart. I was still leaking right through my pad and my pants how embarrassing! I had no clue the waters would keep coming and coming for hours! Joanne got me a chucks pad to sit on which helped.
Since I’m GBS positive we went upstairs into room 1 and she hooked me up to the IV so I could get my first round of antibiotics then we were able to go home. Joanne said to come back when the contractions were strong enough that I could not walk or talk through them. I asked for another chucks pad for the car ride home as we had just bought a new car a few days before and I did not want to ruin the seats.
One the way home we picked up some Subway subs. We ate when we got home and at this point the pressure waves were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. It was around 2 p.m. at this point. My mom told me to relax because she said it looked like I was bracing myself, so back on the birth ball I went to just release all the tension I was feeling and give in to the waves. I was having a lot of pressure in my back so Troy would rub my lower back as I rocked on the ball during a pressure wave which helped to release the intensity. Then Troy went to burn some birthing music CDs that we could bring with us to the birth center.
Around 3:30 I was feeling more pressure and felt maybe it would be time to go soon. DH was taking a nap on the couch so I decided to wait a bit, so he could get some sleep. I had a feeling it would be a long day.
By 4 p.m. I was feeling the pressure waves were much stronger and closer together and I felt it was time. I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t want to wait too long. A friend of mine had her baby in the car on the way to the birth center and I didn’t want that to be me!
Joanne let me make the decision of whether I wanted to come in yet and I said I did. We packed up and left. The pressure waves were pretty intense on the ride over. When we arrived we went right to my room. It was all set up and ready for me. Then the midwife came up and checked me. She said I was 3 cm and my heart dropped! I was hoping for 4 cm. I really wanted to be able to get into the tub sooner than later. It was staring me in the face like a tease, but I tried to use it as a focal point, the place I wanted to end up and birth my baby.
Joanne had some patients to see downstairs, so the new midwife took over for a few hours. She suggested that I walk around, so we went outside and walked the parking lot up and down the hill. It was very hot and humid and I could only stand so long in the heat and we would come back in for a potty break and some time to cool down then back out we went. Every 30 minutes the nurse would check the baby’s heart rate and every hour she would check in on me.
When we were in the room I would hang all my weight on the tall bed posts and rock through the pressure waves. The nurse brought in a hot rice sock and a birth ball so I could lean over it and DH could put the warm sock on my back. I tried this for a bit, but it wasn’t comfortable, so I put the birth ball on the floor and sat on it. I was able to sway left to right during pressure waves which felt good. I stayed like this for a long time because it felt really comfortable.
Around 7 p.m. the midwife came in and checked me again and I was a good 4 cm almost 5 cm. I was told to walk around more and so we did. We went outside in the parking lot and walked it forever it seemed up and down up and down the hill. We stopped at a picnic table for a bit and chatted. My mom and Troy made jokes to make me laugh until some bugs started feasting on us at which point we went in for a break then returned out again after a few more laps.
The midwives commented on how calm I was they said they had not seen someone birth so quietly and happily with a smile on her face! I was enjoying each wave because I knew it meant I was that much closer to meeting my baby.
Me and DH (He looks exhausted!)
Me and mom
We came back to the room and I tried lying down but it was very uncomfortable. As soon as I got my headphones on with my Hypnobabies I had to get up immediately as it was too uncomfortable.
At this point my husband went and ate some macaroni and cheese and my mom stayed with me. I hung on the bed post during each wave and rocked through them. Then I would feel as though I had to go to the bathroom so I’d go and the waves would get very intense I’d lean on the towel bar in the bathroom before coming back out.
There was a birth dress rehearsal class in the neighboring room that Joanne was teaching. Soon she would be back and the other midwife would be going home. I was happy to have Joanne back I felt more comfortable with her.
Around 9 o’clock Joanne my midwife came in and checked me again and I was 5 cm. The midwife suggested I try to lie down to rest for a bit if I could. I told her I already tried, but really I only felt comfortable on my feet, so I stayed standing for a bit. I rocked a lot and paced around the room. I wanted to walk more to get the pressure waves closer together and stronger, so we walked the driveway again. It was dark out now and the stars were very bright. We walked the driveway for about an hour. Each time a pressure wave came I had to stop walking and DH and mom held my hands and let me lean on them they were coming almost 2 minutes apart. We came back in and I paced around the room some more and tried sitting in the birthing chair, but it wasn’t comfortable. Sitting on the toilet made the pressure waves very intense. At this point I had DH come with me to the bathroom so I could lean on him during the waves then I would quickly return to the bed where I could lean on the bed post and rock through the waves. This was how I was most comfortable during the waves.
At 11 p.m. Joanne checked me again and was barely 6 cm. I was told the baby may be posterior so the midwife wanted to try a few things to get the baby in a more optimal position. She had me lay all the way on the right side of the bed half hanging off. I had to lean my whole body onto my stomach so I was suspended in the air basically with my husband supporting me at my leg and hip. Then she wanted me to do some lunges on the birth stool. I did these for awhile and then they let me get into the tub around 12:30 a.m.
The tub felt so warm and really relieved a lot of the pressure I was feeling, but the pressure waves were getting much more intense. lace w:st="on">Troylace> gave me cranberry juice with a bendy straw in between pressure waves and held my hand. He was fading fast at this point with a pillow under his head. He was exhausted and honestly so was I but I had to keep going. I had no choice. Mom was out in the living room taking a nap on the couch.
I stayed in the tub for awhile and the pressure waves just kept getting much more and more intense. At this point I felt like I had no control over my body. The waves were the strongest thing I’ve ever felt in my life. I tried to focus on each one just one at a time and would breathe through them.
The midwife came in again and checked me. I was a good 6 cm and she offered some Demerol, so I could get some sleep and things could progress. I agreed because like I said before I was feeling out of control and exhausted. I knew at this point even though I had been in labor for HOURS that I wasn’t even close to delivering my baby. This made me a little sad because I was in the tub and I was hoping she would have said I was further along than I was. I wanted a water birth desperately and I had a vision of what it was going to be like in my head. Reality was starting to really distort my vision of birth. I tried to focus on my baby and getting to10 cm.
Around 2 a.m. I got out of the tub. The pressure waves were so intense I could only hang on Troy to get through them. I then put some pajamas on, and the midwife came in with the Demerol. This really made me feel really out of it for awhile. I’m not sure how long I was able to rest probably from 2-3:30 a.m. Shortly there after I felt very strong pressure waves. They were so strong I couldn’t rest any longer and I became loud. The only thing that I could do to get through them was moan deeply. I told my husband how strong they were and asked if he could ask the midwife if I was supposed to feel them so strongly even with the Demerol. Before he could get up the midwife came right it. I guess she heard me moaning.
At this time she said it was time to transfer to the hospital. I think she could see I was absolutely EXHAUSTED and I still had a long way to go, since I was only 6 cm. We agreed that this was the right thing to do. She said I could choose to have an epidural at the hospital so I could get some rest and let my body open up the rest of the way. I agreed because I knew at this rate if I didn’t get an epidural to relax I would be staring a c-section in the face if I stayed at 6 cm for a few more hours.
Around 3:45 a.m. The midwife got my records ready to go and mom and Troy packed up the car. This was an emotional time for me because I knew I was not getting the birth I had planned or wanted. I mourned the loss of the birth I intended to have with some tears, but knew that I had to do whatever it was for my baby and this was the right decision.
A bit later we got in our car and followed our midwife to the parking garage where she met me with a wheelchair. She wheeled me quickly right to my room where I met a fantastically sweet nurse. The nurse was very empathetic with the fact that she knew I did not want to be in the hospital and knew that this was not the birth I had planned. She got me all set up in the bed, did some blood work and told us that we had to wait for the results before they could give me an epidural. This wait seemed to be an eternity because the pressure waves were SO intense. Soon there after the anesthesiologist came in and my mom had to leave as I could only have 1 person in the room with me for the epidural. He put it in and said it would take about 30 minutes before I would start to feel it kick in. My midwife also discussed starting pitocin, since I would have an epidural and would not feel much. I agreed. The epidural really helped me to relax and I got some sleep.
The midwife came back in around 7 a.m. to check me and I was 7 cm.
Being on my back was very uncomfortable and I turned on to my right side for awhile.
Then at 9 a.m. she came back and I was 8 cm and she basically said that she was 90% positive that this was going to be a c-section. I was progressing SO slowly even with a high dose of pitocin. She said she would give us another hour to see what happened. Honestly, my husband was more upset about the prospect of the c-section than I was because he knew how badly I wanted a natural birth. He even shed tears over it. I don’t think the exhaustion helped the emotions that we had we were both very upset.
During this time I created my own affirmations to repeat over and over to myself just like I had learned in Hypnobabies. I envisioned myself opening up all the way and I just kept saying positive warm things about opening up over and over again! This was my last effort to have a vaginal birth it was all I felt I could do and I had to do something! I focused really hard on my affirmations and visualizations. I remember in Ina May’s book of childbirth one woman had a 10 lb. baby and she just kept telling herself that she was “getting huge” in order to get the baby out. I used this story to focus on and told myself I was getting huge too! I turned back onto my back for awhile as I was having some discomfort in the right side of my lower back. Then I went back to the right side for a bit as I continued to repeat over and over again “I’m getting huge to let the baby out. Open Open Opening up to let the baby out. I’m getting so big! etc.”
At 10 a.m. she came in and checked me and I was 10 cm !!!! I couldn’t believe my ears! We had accepted the fact that I was going to have a c-section after she had come in the last time. She said she would give me an hour to get baby’s head a little lower in the pelvis before pushing.
Around 11 a.m. I was able to start pushing. My midwife said she was about to deliver a baby down the hall and had the nurse start pushing with me. I pushed and pushed. She offered me a mirror so I could see my baby’s head of beautiful brown hair. I was able to focus on his head getting closer and closer to being out. My midwife returned a while later to see how we were doing. She would talk to my baby and tell him to come on out. I felt so close to my midwife at this point. She had been such a positive person the entire time I’d known her during my pregnancy and during this birth. She was so genuine and really cared. She left for awhile and then came back. She said he was having trouble passing my pubic bone. She said once I got him around that it would be easier. She also said his head was molding from all of the pressure and perhaps inefficient position. At this point my epidural was almost gone the machine attached to the bag was beeping. I could feel each urge to push during the pressure waves.
My upper back and neck were in excruciating pain during this pushing time. It was so bad I didn’t know if I could bare it any longer. I had a feeling it was because I was laying on my back. I just wanted to sit up so badly it was all I could think of, but I knew I had to keep going. They tried adjusting the bed and the pillows to make me more comfortable, but it just got worse. They told me to push harder to push as hard as I possibly could. Everyone seemed to cheer me along as I pushed as hard as I could. I didn’t know I could push with so much force! But with each push everyone seemed to reassure me that he was getting closer and closer and that really kept me going. I had such pressure in my bottom I felt like I was going to poop him out or split in half, but I just kept going. I wanted to meet my son! I was ready for him to be out!
Joanne came back in and I kept pushing. I could tell things were moving a long because she called a tech into the room and more medical instruments were being brought over. Then Joanne put her mask and cap on. I knew it was getting close, so I tried even harder. Joanne asked Troy if he wanted to catch and I was delighted that he said yes! She got him all ready and explained what he would do.
I kept pushing and pushing. Joanne asked me to reach down and feel my baby’s head, but I couldn’t it was just too intense the pressure and I had to keep focusing on pushing. They also asked me to look in the mirror again, but my eyes were shut and I just couldn’t get them open. I pushed and pushed some more Joanne said she may have to do a small episiotomy. DH later told me my perineum just wasn’t budging to let the baby out.
She told me to keep pushing, so I did. I pushed with all of my might I knew I was so close to seeing my baby. Then I heard Joanne say stop pushing, so I breathed through my lips. At this point the head was out and the cord was around the neck. She had to remove the cord from his neck and then she had me push some more. Out he came! I could feel a different sensation as he left my loins. I opened my eyes and looked up. All I could see beyond the blankets was my husbands face streaming with emotion. He was all tears and smiles just like the day of our wedding, but with more intensity. This was the best moment in his life I could tell. I kept looking for my baby and then there he was in front of me covered in vernix. They quickly laid him right on my chest.
I fell in love instantly. I was able to hold him for awhile before they cut the cord and did measurements/routine assessments.
Although my birth was not what I planned and was so long it was perfect for my baby and me. I wouldn’t change anything about it because it is special to me even the hours of pressure waves. I would do it again in a heart beat several times to have him. It was SO worth it and such a time to treasure. I will never forget his birthday it is permanently seared into my heart and soul as the absolute best day of my life. He made me a mommy and I am truly grateful.
Daemon Aras born July 8th, 2008 at 2:16 p.m.
7 lbs. 11 oz. 20 inches long