Tell me your story! How did you get to be a single parent? By choice? Unwed? Divorce?
There are new faces here, and I want to make sure I keep all of you straight!
Tell me your story! How did you get to be a single parent? By choice? Unwed? Divorce?
There are new faces here, and I want to make sure I keep all of you straight!
I was 18 when I met G's SD. We were together for a couple of months. I got pregnant, I left him.
Drama-rama from there.
I'm now married, but still dealing with the ex-factor. ;)
I wanted to post earlier today but keira just would not let me so now that she is sleeping i can finally do it :)
I guess its best to start at the beginning of my weird story so i will :)
I met Keiras dad on the internet neither of us were looking for a relationship or anything we actually met on a tropical fish chat room (yeah i know we are geeks)
We talked for a while and decided that we really wanted to meet so after talking to each other over the net and phone for a whole month and a half i decided to go meet him. He lives in Australia and i live in Canada so this was not a small decision to make and everyone told me i was nuts to go so far to meet a guy that i had only talked to for less than 2 months.
Even though we had only known each other for a short time we knew that we loved each other we had planned that we wanted to start trying to concieve when i got there to see him and we wanted to get married as well. I had planned to immigrate there as well but that never ended up working out. I got pregnant a whole 2 weeks after i got there :oops: We did not expect it to happen that soon. Even though we were trying. because i got pregnant so quickly that made it impossible for me to get permanant status there. Mostly because i could not go through any of the medical exams like x-rays. So after 3 months together I was forced to go back home. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do.
We kept in contact everyday for the first little while when i got back but things started getting pretty bad between us. We were both pretty upset at being apart and it seemed like with having to pay for things for our baby we would never be able to get the money together for him to come here to be with us which is what we had decided to do before i left. He ended up on some pretty strong anti-depressants and started drinking a lot i started getting really angry with him for not looking after himself and he got pretty resentful of it, I tried throwing all kinds of you need to be responsible for our baby comments at him and i guess i kinda scared him. he started to think his life would be over if he came here. He started going out a lot and i am sure was probably seeing other women not that i really blame him cause i treated him pretty badly. I was having a hard time controlling my emotions and quite frequently exploded at him which made us fight a lot.
He got pretty distant and since i was really needing his support through the pregnancy i asked him to decide what he wanted he told me he was not sure. That was not really good enough for me and he had not made any arrangements or set any date for him to come here so i told him i needed to know right then if he planned to be here at all or what. He told me he was not sure if his feelings for me were as strong as they once were and was not sure that it was the right thing to do to move here to be with me. I got pretty upset and we decided that we should probably not be together at that point which was really the best thing for both of us. I was so depressed i was making myself sick and it was not good for my pregnancy either i think we both knew it was the right thing to break up.
It took a little while maybe about a month of not really talking before things got any better between us but eventually we started talking as friends he was always asking how i was doing and keeping up to date on how the pregnancy was going. I had told him i expected him to pay child support and he agreed to give me $300 a month towards helping me look after her which he gave me even while i was pregnant even though he technically did not have to. Since we broke up in july we have become really good friends and i think the break up was really what we needed at the time.
He has not seen our daughter yet but really wants to. Right now he and i are talking on a regular basis and are talking about the possibility of getting back together later this year when he comes to visit. He will decide then if Canada seems like the right place for him before he makes the decision to leave his life in Australia and move here. He says he really wants to but he needs to make sure he likes it here first and that he can get a job here so he can make sure Keira and i are looked after properly.
My story is not as bad as some peoples and my ex is actually a pretty good guy we just had a lot of difficult issues with being apart and my pregnancy hormones making me be such a cow to him. I would have left me too if i were him. But things Are a lot better now and i am back to normal so maybe one day i will get my family back together if not i will keep doing it on my own.
Sorry my story is so long
ok i seen this post and seeing i am apart of the board thought i would post my story so here it goes ...
I met Rod on a chatline .. a phone chatline 4yrs ago ... we only spoke at first for a few days and from the 1st min i spoke to him i had this feeling that i really liked him so i rang him one day and said Let's meet ...
So i met him after a month of talking to him on the phone and as soon as we seen each other i fell in love and so did he .. he didnt leave after that he pretty much moved in and thats where our relationship started ... after a month i found out i was pregnant with my 3rd son .. he was soooo over the moon that he was finally going to be a daddy as he had always wanted to be one. well as time went on it got rough we started fighting and i started treating him like crap so he said .. my friends told him that it is my Hormones and it will pass .. well we both started fighting pretty bad and i kept throwing him out of the house ... i didnt relise what i was doing at the time was wrong but u know how we are when we are pregnant ...
Anyway .. i had jake and things were purfect for ages .. and then it hitt .. he told my friend he wasnt happy that i treated him like crap etc .. she told him to leave my *** if he isnt happy and he told her he couldnt do it ... not to our son ... so he stayed with me for the sake of him .. i didnt know what was goin on at the time .. then we started fighting all the time then making up and this went on for about a yr ...
last year in march we were together 3yrs .. we went out for our anniversary .. and things seemed ok from what i could tell ... well a week went along and he got given some bad news that his grandad was really sick and that he should see him b4 he passes so he did this .. he went out with his day that to do so with his family ... when he got home he was upset and i tryed to comfort him but it didnt work .. something was really up .. so i left him along ... anyway
The phone rang i was making jakes bed at the time and it was my next door neighbout mel ... she asked me if i was sitting down i said Why she said she needed to tell me something ... i went ok .. and she said that Rod has been Cheating on me ... and im like WTF ... who with she said she didnt know but he told her bf and she thought it was rite that i had a rite to know ... so i was PISSED :pissed: of course .. and i hung up on her stormed down the hallway and said WHO THE F**CK IS SHE ?? he said WHAT .. i said who are u cheating on me with blah blah blah ... he said Dont worry and i said ill give u dont worry ... and i slapped him across the face ... he then got up walked up the hallway into the bedroom and started packing his things .. he was leaving me .. anyway as u can imagine i was REALLY upset ... i even got Suicidal at one stage ... and i neally succeeded ! i ended up finding out who it was and how .. it turned out that MY BEST FRIEND had set him up with one of HER friends that i Knew ... and can i tell u that i am still to this day F**cked off at her ... i no-longer talk to ither of them ... they are history in my eyes .. rod is no-longer with this girl ... i made sure it didnt last ... he is now with some other bimbo that stops him from seeing us .. well she accepts MJ AND JAKE but doesnt except that i will always be in his life no-matter what ...
Its now been 14months since we split up and to this day I still love him alot ... i wont lie we have continued sleeping together and i think its helping me heal more ... where u would think it would keep my feelings strong .. we fight like car and dog still as he is constantly hot nd cold with the kids ... one min we will be in contact the next i dont hear from him for weeks on end ...
Yesterday i got a phone call and he said im going to make this quick but im ready for jake .. i asked him what he meant and he said he wants jake full time or nothing at all that jake will never see his dad again and the same goes for mikayla too ... i didnt get a chance to reply .. he also says that he needs me to hand over jakes welfair money i get for him so he can get himself jake and his GF set up in a house .. i felt like saying go get a job .. but anyway he hasnt called back so thats a good thing but when he does it is goin to be on for young and old ..
Thats it for now .. i thinki i have gone on enuff and if u have read it lol thanx ... this is how i become a Single Mommy !
Okay, the father of the two older sons (Chris 13 and Xavier 11) has been a major thorn in my side for so long. He's one of those that I would have been better off without. We met when I was 15 and out partying. He pursued me for months before I gave him a chance. Finally did and 2 years later we had a son. So then I realize, I'm too young to be tied down to anyone. Besides he wasn't doing jack for us. I was the one providing for us. So during the time we were breaking up, I got pregnant with Xavier. I decided to keep him but not to go back to the SD. He's been a part their lives but he's totally unreliable and full of sh*t. It's now that they are seeing it through their own eyes.
Now, Mikey's AD I met at work in 2002. We started dating and 2 months later, I was preggo. Didn't see that coming but I embraced it. AD didn't want a committment so he wasn't really around during my pregnancy. He wasn't there when Mikey was born either. We had some major blowouts during my pregnancy and were not getting along at all. So when Mikey was about 5 weeks old, he came to see him. It's been a rough road but at this time, he's an AD and not and SD. He loves his son and has him every other weekend. Mikey really loves his daddy too. Don't get me wrong, it's been hard. Having Mikey has been MUCH harder than it was when Chris and X were babies. I guess it's because I'm older now and no longer living with my mom (she helped me raise those boys). He's really completed our family though, and we love him to pieces. I'll have to post some pix soon when I figure out how, LOL.
I am Mel and ds Alec is 6yo. My story....... well I got married WAY to young and was married for 5 years. I have been divorced for little over 3 years now. Mike (exh) is a good dad, has ds on every other weekend and every wednesday. umm....... not much else to really tell. Nice to meet you all!!
I am Tracie. I was with my ex for a total of 14 years, 9 of it marrried. We separated in 2003 when our dd was about 1 1/2. Our divorce is almost final. He lives in the Virgin Islands, I lived there for 5 1/2 years, moved back to Michigan when I left him. He comes up about every 6 months to visit her. I left because he had a drug addiction, and we had other issues that were amplified because of that. I have been dating someone for about 3 months and have restarted my life and am very happy. Nice to meet you all.
Well I'm new here and should intorduce myself, I guess ;)
I'm sure my story is not even close to anyone else's on this board, but the end result is the same.
I moved in with my BF when I was 21, we had been dating 2 months.
2 years later we got married.
9 years later we decided to TTC. 2 cycles later I was preg w/DD Jordan. We decided to TTC again and the next cycle DS James Jr was on his way. JD was 10 months old when we were told that James had cancer and 6 months later he was gone. I was a widow at 35 with a 3 year old and an 18 month old. Now they are 2 and 4 and I am dealing with a lot of the "single parent" things. Not all of them I know, I don't have to worry about visitations and child support, but I know that is not all there is to being a single mom.
I have some questions and thought this would be the place to come.
Jennie, your in the right place sweetie! Ask away!
Hey There! I post here, but since all of you shared your stories as to how you became single moms, I thought I would, too!
It wasn't my choice to become a single mom. In fact, the thought never crossed my mind. Bryan & I met on Thanksgiving Day last November. It was love at first sight, but I had been hurt in previous relationships and wanted to take my time, still. We were friends for a couple of weeks, and I noticed we had a lot in common and he truly understood me. I could see he was a ginuinely great person so on December 6th, we began dating officially. We had one of those Christmas Romances! It was beautiful. Well, he had already explained to me that about a year before he had depression problems, but little did I know... it was worse than that, I just didn't know it yet.
We conceived our DS around Jan. 18th. A few days before he started his new semester of college. I asked him what he'd do if he found out I was pregnant (I had so many symptoms) and he said "Aw, baby don't you dare worry... i'll take care of you and the baby. We'll make it out okay." So I went on believing that....took an at-home pregnancy test on March 1st and it came out positive. I called him as he was leaving college, which was a 1/2 hour away from me and he was like "I'm not surprised at all. It's no big deal baby, just calm down..." Because I was so nervous, I'm 18, and had just graduated from high school in January. So a week later, I told my mom... she was disappointed at first but then grew so excited. She was like "yay.....I finally get my first grandchild! Don't you worry, i'll help you guys as much as I can!" and he knew that. Well a week later, he called me from his break from college and said out of the blue "I can't be with you..." I said "WHAT.....WTF does this come from????" and he said "I just can't....I can't handle you or a baby right now, I just gotta worry about school." I was like "Oh no buddy your not getting away with it that freckin' easy, you have responsibility now, too..." Well, it was like a different person completely that day... then that night he came over to my house crying telling me that he was sorry and all that. I accepted his apology and we went on... Well from that point on, after he found out about the baby, he kept going on these crazy spurs. It's like, any little bit of stress that came up, he just couldn't handle it. I had to tell him how to do every little thing because he had been spoiled and babied so much his entire life...and it was annoying, but I did it because I loved him. Well, he started acting better, so we got our own apartment finally. 2 weeks later, we had a little argument, nothing huge, and he freaked and opened the door and took off running bare foot... I had no idea where he went but all I knew is that I was in that apartment by myself, pregnant and ALONE. I was like "WTH am I doing putting up with this!" He ended up being at the hospital in a depression chamber because an ambulance found him. He was telling the guy that no one cared about him so he wanted to go to the hospital which wasn't true.
I moved out the next day because 3 times before that he had threatened me and the babies life and I couldn't take it anymore. I came back home and my mom had open arms. He called me the next day begging me back and I said "NO!" I was so scared he would hurt me and the baby after previous threats to our lives and I couldn't put myself much less the babies life at risk any longer.
That night, he committed suicide...on May 21st. There are train tracks in the front of my house, little did I know, he laid himself down and let a train run over him...a detective came to my house the next day and told me what had happened and when I found out that it was directly in front of my house, only a few feet away, it killed me inside. I was distraught, had to be taken to the hospital and given a volume to calm down.
Even though our lives were at risk, STILL, I loved him with all of my heart and I didn't want that to happen. I later found out from his mom and dad (Which BTW should have freckin' forewarned me!) that he was born with a chemical imbalance and was showing the beginning signs of schitzophrenia (He heard voices in his head and had multiple personalities).
It's been tough ever since but I know that I have to go on for my little boy, he'll be here in 3 months and one week. I have to pull myself together and be strong for him. He's not entitled to much social security because his dad didn't work long enough and sometimes I get angry because it's all on me now. It's like he took his life and rid himself of all the problems... but I know that God didn't give me anything that I can't handle and i'm trying to move on... This is how I became a single mom.