Hi my name is Renee I am a 25 year old single mom to a 4 year old son. Let me start out by saying I am so glad to have found this place. Here it goes, I will start well first of all my sons father and I were never married I will give you his name to make this easier to telll his name is Scott and my sons name is Nathan. Ok well When I first found out I was pregnant we were living with a married couple Sean and Jessica and we shared a house with them well around my 6 month of pregnancy I started to notice that jessica and scott were pretty close with each other. I finally had enough one night when we were all watching a movie together I got up to go pee which I did quite often at that point but, when I got back she was sitting next to scott and had pulled the blanket over the two of them. I ran in our room crying told my mom to come pick me up. Well after that its a little fuzzy with details I dont remember a lot of the last part of my pregnancy due to the fact I was so upset all of the time. Well about a month after I moved out I found out that Jessica and Scott were sleeping together with sean still living there.
I had nathan on dec. 22nd 2000 and when I called to tell him he wanted to bring jessica up there too which I refused yes she was my best friend but, now I dont even want her to be anywhere near me. He did come up without her to see his son but, she was waiting in the car. well for the first year he would come over every once in awhile and see nathan it wasnt regular but it was like every two weeks or so. well pretty soon the visitation stopped and everytime I tryed to call I would get her and she wanted nothing to do with anything well Just recently in January he called me and told me he wants to start seeing his son again welll he started comming over every week sometimes more to visit and also started to get at me telling me all kinds of what I have recently found out were lies he even went as far as to beg me to be with him ... but, I am a strong stubborn women and I refused (he has still been talking to jessica all the time I know they have two daughters together now but, I cant be with him when he is calling her everyday) Well this past week he called me on tuesday and said something has happened and jessica is being kicked out of where she is staying and he is leaving for ohio wednesday .. so now he is gone and now the attitude starts again . Yesterday I tried to call him so my son could talk to him and he did not answer instead she answered his phone and told me he is at the store .. so i left a message and he never called back I did try to call again today and now the number is disconnected. I just hate that he is now hurting my son ... If he hurts me I can get over it but, his son is only four and he wants to talk to him all the time and I hate the look on his face when I tell him we cant call him. Well that is as short of a version as I could get without missing important details and that is how I became a single mom.
F and I met in Oct. 1997 and married in August 1999. Things were going really well. Then I got pregnant while being on BCP in Dec. 2000. Found out at 6 weeks I was having twins! Anyway, we both were a bit shocked but still happy and excited. Actually, it seemed I was having a harder time with accepting that I was going to be a parent than he.
When I went into labor I was completely freaking out, I wasn't ready, they were almost 4 weeks early but he was all ready for them to come and for him to be a dad, or so he said. So, they came. All was well despite the sleep deprivation and all that comes with being a parent X2.
At 6 weeks old Derek developed colic and that was really the begining of the end. He couldn't handle all the crying and Justin would cry for attention and he just couldn't take it. He stopped talking to me from then on until they were 8 months old. During this time when he talked to me he yelled at how I was the mom and I should be able to make them stop crying. At times he said we should put one or both the boys up for adoption and told me how they ruined his life. His mom moved in with us and she helped me during the week along with my parents. On weekends I was all alone though. He disappeared most of the time or slept. THere were times when I was literally on my hands and knees crying and begging for help and he'd either leave the house or go upstairs to bed. At 14 weeks I went back to work and it was really hard working and caring for them by myself when I got home from work, at night and the weekends. I was so sleep deprived between Derek's colic and Justin waking up every 45 mins - hr. and F would never help in the middle of the night or when he got home from work. He would actually get mad at me for being so tired at night I didnt hear them cry right away. He would never help with any household chores, no cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc...that was all on me as well.
THe only reason he began to help a little at 8 months was because he and his mom got in a fight and she left and I said either he had to shape up or he had to leave and I'd have his mom return. Add by then Derek's colic had finally stopped, it did at about 6 months old. He promised to try harder and I resolved to try and make it work. We tried to function as a family. He was really helpful for a couple of weeks but then it quickly turned to his way of "helping" me was letting me nap a day on the weekend for 2-3 hours and letting me go food shopping without them until 13 months old. He really didnt come home during the week, he works an hour and a half away and stayed at friends during the week and only came home weekends.
At 13 mos my dad commit suicide and shot my mom right before he took his life. At that point they were the only other people that helped me. So I now lost my dad and my mom wound up being hospitalized for 4 1/2 months. I again told him without their help he needed to do more...so now more was the first week after he did everything since I was a zombie from witnessing the above mentioned stuff but that quickly went back to the other way. He also was completely unsupportive of the emotional trama I had gone thru and 6 weeks after my dad dies was THanksgiving. My mom was in the hospital and I started to cry and he told me to "get over it, my dad had already been dead for almost 6 weeks." He also watched the boys for an extra hour or so on the weekends so I could visit my mom in the hospital. He still only came home on weekends or maybe one night during the week. So from then until the boys were 27 months old we did this and I tried to continue to make it work, I thought I needed him and the boys needed him but at 27 months I was just tired of being alone all the time and doing everything and finally realized I didnt need him. SO one time he again threatened to leave us and this time I went and packed his bag for him.
So from then until this past Oct when the boys were 37 months old their interaction with him was minimal, maybe once every other week fro a few hours but at my house. THen he decided he wanted to be more involved so he started taking them over night every other weekend. Just this June I filed for divorce.
We are amicable now mainly because I dont want the boys to be surrounded by hostility so I have accepted his betrayal for the first 3 years of their life and accept he wants to be more involved now. I just hope he keeps it up.
And that's that...sorry so darn long!
I realized I never told my story; I'm taking exerpts from my private journal, so here it is:
February 17th, 2001 11:35pm ~ Richard has been out for about 4 hours and I think, that's a lot of time for only having $10. I didn't want him to go out. In fact we had a fight about his having to meet "a friend". But it was always so important that he get to go out with his friends even if he can only have one drink. And I was resentful. I was trying so hard to get us out of debt and all he wants to do is go out drinking with his friends. I had just talked to a friend online discussing how I really thought Richard and I needed counselling. And he wouldn't have an excuse now not to go, because we were covered through our new association AND Richard wasn't working. And we definitely needed couples counselling because I was feeling very resentful.
approx. 12:00 (now February 18th)~ I turn on SNL. I'm gonna wait up for him. I'm beginning to get worried, but he stays out late to all hours what seems like too often now. Wish he would just GROW up! I look out the window and see a cop car which I think is odd since I had seen one last night and heard a domestic disturbance. Why would they do it again?
About 12:30 ~ I hear a knock on the door. I look in the peephole, the cops... hmmm, the ones who have their car in the front drive of the apartment building.... I open the door. They ask me if I'm Teresa ******. I tell them yes. They ask me which spot is my car in. I tell them i don't know the spot number. They ask me if they can show me. I tell them I have a baby sleeping, I can't just go downstairs. They ask me if the car is even downstairs, I ask them what they mean. They said that they found my car . I tell them, well maybe my husband took it out, but he's not supposed to because he's going out drinking and we live right on the subway line. They ask to come in. I let them in. By then, Ricky is rousing. I have to go pick him up.
I'm starting to get nervous. I didn't know why the police were here, why they were wanting to come in. I was thinking, OMG, Richard was caught drinking and driving and now they're gonna arrest me because it's my car! They ask to see pictures of my husband. Ummmm, OK. I show them recent Christmas pictures.
They now tell me (as I'm holding a very tired Ricky who won't settle and go back to sleep) : We found a man in your car. He's since been transferred to hospital. When we found him he was passed out and we tried to resuscitate him. But he is now at the hospital where they are trying to revive him. We need to identify this man as he has no ID on him.
I'm shaking now. Who is this man? I don't even fathom that it could be Richard. No way... Richard probably left the doors unlocked and some guy climbed into my car. Richard is probably still at the bar drinking with his friends.
at about 1 am: The police have now asked that I call someone to watch Ricky because they need me to go to the hospital and see who this guy is. I had noticed the two officers look at each other with meaningful looks when they saw the picture of Richard. Not sure what that meant. I'm still convinced they're going to arrest me. So I tell them, I would have to see if my sister is home, because she was gonna go out with her friends.
I call my sister, she's sleeping, I explain what has happened, and she comes over. Once she arrives, the police sit us both down and explain the situation. Now there is further news. The man whom they found in my car has passed away. Now I have to go identify him.
I'm in denial.... Richard is sitting in a bar somewhere thinking, gosh I should go home. Or now he's looking for the car, and realizing something is wrong.
I put on my coat and we go out to the police car. I comment how I've never sat in a police car before. The two officers look at each other and suggest that I sit in the front seat. That's when I realized I wasn't being arrested. That's when I realized I was actually going to identify a body. I started praying that the body wasn't Richard. I started envisioning that I would being looking at a stranger.
We arrive at the hospital. Very quiet. Police milling about. A priest comes up to me. He identifies himself as a Catholic priest. I had told the police when they asked if I had any affiliations that I was a non-practising Catholic. Huh, they thought of everything. I remembered the last time I was at that hospital. Visiting Richard too, he'd torn the ligaments in his knee. The priest shakes my hand and I just look at him... What is he doing here? I'm not really religious. And neither is Richard. Besides, Richard is Protestant, so what would he need a Catholic priest? My mind is racing... I want to go look at this man. I'm not really listening to what the priest says anyway.
I've seen Richard under blankets enough times to know what he looks like. They didn't even have to lift up the blanket over his face. I knew it was him. I remember looking at how the toe points up. And how long the body was. Looking at his face only confirmed it. And from there it is blurry.
I know I cried. I know I backed up to the wall and cried very loudly. I know I had to say yes it's Richard. I know that the priest asked if I wanted last rites performed on him. I know I had agreed and then immediately wondered if I did wrong since Richard was Protestant. I know I was crying in disbelief. I know I asked to be alone with him. I know I laid my head down on his chest wishing he could put his arm around me. And his chest was still warm. How could he be dead? But of course I heard no heart beating, I heard no stomach gurgles. I heard nothing.
I promised him to take care of our son. I promised I would love him forever.
And after I stood up, my first thought was OMG I need a smoke!!!!
*****And that's how I became a single mom.
My name is Temeni; I am 23 years old (will be 24 on October 9th). I have a son, Kamden Douglas, who will be 1 year old on October 7th. I am new to this board, just recently found you guys and I’m SO glad that I did. Here is my story.
I met my ex-fiancé, Jason, on March 8, 2001. At that time he was dating my cousin and they were trying to set me up with his friend. He was more interested in me and I was more interested in him. He broke up with my cousin and started dating me. She is not upset by this and has remained a very close friend and family member in my life and for Kamden.
I ended up moving in with him on April 5, 2001 – only two weeks and one day since we started dating each other. Actually I moved in with him and his parents. If I had only known then what I knew now. He started drinking shortly after I moved in there, but hates beer, and would only drink vodka or other hard liquors. He also started introducing himself to drugs and became quite the partier.
We got engaged after only 5 months, on September 11, 2001. He started to change shortly after that. Becoming abusive, physically, mentally, and verbally. I put up with it for so long and why I was so stupid I will never know.
I ended up in the hospital once for severe damage to my back that he caused by getting extremely drunk and violent and body slamming me on a concrete patio. To this day I still have bad back problems because of that incident – and being pregnant was not easy with a slipped disk. The violence, abuse, drinking, drugs continued.
He blamed his parents for our problems and they eventually moved to Bellefontaine and sold us their house. That was in December of 2002.
By August 2003, I was not in love with this man anymore. I could not take the abuse that he caused me. Everyone told me to leave, but I was scared. I was alone, had no money, no place to go, and I refused to go back home.
In September of 2003, my good friend found out she was pregnant and wanted to move out, so we took a day off work, packed all our stuff and moved out of Jason, her house, and into our new safe home.
I found out that he was talking to another girl – from my cousin’s girlfriend who knew her. She thought they were a total couple before I had even moved out. She knew he lived with a girl, but claimed she didn’t know he was engaged and planning to be married the following year. What a lying *****.
*Speaking of her, that is who his current fiancé is and who is living with him now, and mistreating my son when he’s there – she’s been there since the month before I moved out, when she found out I was pg with his baby, saying it was someone else’s, through my whole pregnancy and through all the court **** – she really has no life*
I moved out on September 30, 2003. He begged me, over and over again, that he would change. He loved me SO much, but didn’t realize how much or what he was doing to me until I was gone. If I would only come back he would make it ALL better. Bull F’ING ****. I’ve heard that before. From one other person and to this day has two children and continues to beat and abuse his girlfriends. So I know not to believe it, I’ve heard it from Jason too, I will stop, I promise, never again. No I don’t think so, I am going to be strong.
Well that didn’t keep me from sleeping with him… I found out I was pregnant on February 6, 2004. I was only a few weeks along at that time. Jason had never wanted children, hated children, and swore upon abortions. That if I ever got pregnant he would make me have an abortion. Plenty of reasons for my hesitation to tell him.
At this time, I was talking to a guy, who I had known many years through my cousin. Me and Marc (the name in my siggy) hit it off great. We dated for a few months. At that time his friend and him were living together and the other guy was getting ready to move back home. My friend who I was living with was getting ready to have her baby and needed more room, so she was moving out. Me and Marc decided to move in together to help each other out. It was great. He was GREAT. More than I could ever ask for in a man. He loved me, was there for me, told me everyday how beautiful I was. I had never had someone like that. Expecially someone who could love you being pregnant with someone else’s child and accepting that child as your own. Marc had an accident when he was young and unable to have children, but claimed Kamden as his own. He was there through everything, the pregnancy, doctors visits, naming Kamden – he picked it, and Douglas is Marc’s dad’s name – Kamden’s middle!!! He was there when I went into labor and even cut the cord. His family was there for Kamden, called him their grandson and everything. Life was GREAT – I was great, Kamden was great, Marc was great and we were all SO happy. Jason asked to come to the hospital the day Kamden was born, but never showed. Said he got too busy to make it. LOL
Then it happened… Marc’s brother was into dealing drugs, small scale, but he still did it. Jason was into that **** too. He had promised me that he didn’t want anything to do with Kamden and would let me and Marc lead our ives with him as our own – as long as I didn’t take him for support. One day he calls, my “BIL” had some stuff he wanted to sell, Jason wanted to buy and resell. Okay fine, I connected the two of them. Un denounced to me, Jason was working under cover for his best bud in the DEA. He made arrangements for my BIL to bring stuff to my house to exchange. He left the stuff, Jason came to pick it up. I was there with Kamden, Marc was still at work. He left my BIL money on the counter, took his stuff, and then handed me $80 – said it was for Kamden. WOW, I was impressed. Someone so tight with there money, and he’s going to help me with his son. Little did I know that that was drug money from the DEA and he admitted on the stand to the grand jury that he paid me that money for drugs. When I didn’t have anything to do with the deal – just happened to be home at my house at the time the bastard showed up. Well the guy he framed, my BIL, along with me. He blamed it on me. Said I set it all up, I wired up on my BIL and framed him to go to prison. *He is scheduled in court next month* Marc moved out in late February of this year. My son (our son) was almost 5 months old and he’s been there for us since I was 5 weeks pregnant. But can you blame him. Since Jason has a big mouth and has blamed me for all of my BIL’s problems, they think I was the one who narced him out.
Jason has caused pain for all of us, cause Kamden to loose Marc, the only father he has known, caused him to loose Marc’s family, and cause me to loose Marc myself.
Jason filed for a DNA test in December 2004, took his test in February 2005 and got his results in March. I knew nothing of this, until the letter scheduling the court date at the child support office. He didn’t exist in Kamdens’ life until he was almost 7 months old. At that time he was given court ordered visitation for Rule 6, after he filed to fight me for full custody. He has never seen the child, nor paid a cent in child support, and the crack headed magistrate gives the bastard visitation, with no support order. That was on April 29th. On May 17th, we went back to court and Jason was awarded shared parenting, week-to-week visitation, with an 8 month old, he had only known a couple of weeks on the weekends. I don’t know what the magistrate was/is thinking – but HOW can he possibly do that and get away with it? We go back on October 7, 2005 for the full custody hearing and to determine whom permanently gets custody of Kamden. Right now I have false drug charges hanging over my head, that that bastard caused – but I’m not be any means an unfit mother. But who’s going to believe an accused felon???
Jason has destroyed our lives and ruined everything. He said he was doing this to hurt me and to get me back for leaving him and being with Marc. That was his goal. I’m not being prosecuted for the charges – just being used against me in the custody case to make me look bad. That was his whole idea from the beginning. What a f’ing loser.
Last week he admitted that Kamden was better off with me most of the time, he just wanted visitation, I agreed with no support. He agreed, we had a meeting with our attorneys set up and his is the biggest asshole alive, totally flew off the handle and wouldn’t let him agree to no visitation, no support. Said he had us right where he wanted us and we had to agree with what they wanted or go back to court.
I get his child support figures – he would owe me $97.00 a month according to HIS attorney. If we have shared parenting. WTF ever. I have $3000.00 I birth medical expenses for Kamden alone. I have raised and supported this child on my own for 8 months. (I had to provide food, clothing, and diapers, during Jason’s rule 6 visitation)(with no support) I pay for all of Kamdens’ medical expenses and pay for his insurance under my company. I pay for his daycare when I have him. My grandmother, but I still pay her. He pays a sitter, almost half of what I do. I used the child support calculations from our site. He makes more than double what I do and pays out less than half. According to the calculators I should get about $500-$600 a month. And he’s telling me $97.00 – where he pulled that out of his *** from is beyond me, but IT AIN’T GOING TO F’ING HAPPEN – that way. I will fight to the bitter end to get my son back. You better believe it.
This is how I became a SINGLE mom – of a beautiful, wonderful, couldn’t ask for more, little boy!!!
Sorry for the book – had to tell all and get some of this off my chest. Thanks, if you made it this far. Love All you guys,
Temeni and Kamden
My name is Kate and I am 26 yrs old I have been married for 4 yr and separated for 6 months, When I think about it I married for all the wrong reasons, first of all I was too young, I didn't get to live a life the way I wanted, I wanted to rush into adulthood way too fast and I had the whole life planned and I made sure things turned the way I planned just so I don't have to worry about being 30 and single w/ no kids and no house. plus I needed to get out of the house my dad was just too controling of my life. And now look at me, now is the time that I have realize that all the reasons are nonsense I was just to scared of my father and I figured that if I get married it would be my escape after all I was with that guy for 2 yr before we married, but yet it was more like getting out from one trap and getting into the other. I wasn't ready to be a house wife, I am a person who likes to work and go to school to get more education. Yes I am a mother and yes I was and am ready for that. my DD Julia is 2.5 yrs old and she is the best thing that has happed to me. I take the whole experience as a lesson to be learned, to stand up for my self and not to let people tell me what to do and to control me. We all have dreams and goal so why not follow them. I always wanted a family and a house, at age 26 I had it all but I believe that it was just the wrong timing and God has a reason for everything. I believe in faith and I am looking forward to be 30 years old its not as bad was we thought when we were 20 LOL
ex-dh was a little old fashionated the back home style. I hated to iron clothes one time he woke me up 5am to iron his pants and I said that he must be kidding me I turned over and went to sleep next thing I know he is not talking to me for a week because of that, another time I was just too tired and I forgot to make him lunch for work, he called me the next day saying that I don't have to cook or make him lunch anymore that he will do it himself and he thanked me for starving him, again he didn't talk to me for a week. Yet it was ok for him to get High twice a week and on weekend, ok to go to raves and take ecstasy, ok to go fishing on sundays instead of spending time with us. He complained about dinners that they are not as good as his moms. U want to know what I did? I was willing to learn so we moved to his parents house before our house was build for 6 months and I learned some. Of course it wasn't good enough, one time said that I try to poison him because he was having stomach problems instead blaming the drugs blamed me. Then when I left he had no idea why and I was telling him why yet it was like he didn't wanted to accept the fact. One thing that pi**ed me off is that after I left he said that if I would have cooked or at least try he would treat me like a queen. what the f**k u must be kidding me.
Anyways right now Iam seeing a great guy that I know for 14 years ever since elementry school, through the entire high school we went out 3 times but only for one week because we were better off as friends, but we flirted and everybody was mad at us asking why we arent together we would just ignore them. Our sisters were bestfriends and they tried to set us up because they wanted us to get married so they could be in the family lol. Last time I have seen him was when I invited him as my guest to my sisters wedding and we lost touch for 7 years, we met again at his sisters wedding and it was such a wierd feeling seeing him after all those years, well we have kept in touched and resently dating, he is very suportive and because of him I'm stronger everyday.
No body know we are together only my sister and his sister, mom and brother, its too soon and my father would curse me (he's religiouse) that as legaly married I should stay away from men blah blah blah
well this is my story for now, thanks for reading
*edited to add that its been two years now since I left him, I have just now finaly filled for divorce. Julia is 4 years old now and still growing. My BF and I are still together and going strong
UPDATE 2009: wow its been 4years now and I am in a very good place now.....I bought a house and that great guys that I was seeing we are still together engaged and planning a baby so things are looking good....as for the ex well I still hate him and the smallest issues will never end
Last edited by oceanprincess; 05-31-2009 at 11:56 AM.
I just found this board, and although I am not a single mom yet, I will be in January of this year. So here's my story.
I had been dating my fiance for about 5 years. We got engaged right before he left to join the army. He was home for two weeks at the end of April and I got pregnant. He was so excited at first. He wanted to know everything and was even starting to think about names. Well his orders got andvanced, and he found out he was going to be going over to Iraq in November, and wouldn't be back until April at the earliest. I told him that was fine. I knew what it was like to be away from him, and I would deal with it. We were going to get married as soon as he got home. Well at of the blue he decided that he no longer wanted to be a part of my or my sons life, so he told me that we were done, and not to bother calling him anymore. He changed his phone number, e-mail address, and every means I had of communication. I tried calling his family, but they won't talk to me either. I finally found out through his younger sister, that he told everyone that I cheated on him and got pregnant. Completely false! But he's out of the picture and wants absolutly nothing to do with us. So, now I am going to be a single mom in about 4 months, and I've actually gotten used to the idea.
Wow, thought my ex sucked ***...boy was I wrong-he's not the only one!! and you know what? That is sad.
I met Thalia's dad June '03, we started dating in July '03. Everything seemed great-he was very attentive and would stop by during his breaks to see how I was and kiss me or whatever...very sweet. He's Moroccan and I had bever even thought about dating someone from another race until I got a crush on this guy at my former job (he was black) so, that opened the door and my mind to new possibilites.
We were only together roughly 1 month and a half when I found out I was pregnant...I told him when I was 7 weeks and he pretty much told me that I f**ked up his life and he didn't want a family here, blah blah blah. There was someone he was supposed to marry back home and I shouldn't have the baby as a favor to him-can you believe that? As a FAVOR to him?? As favor to me KISS MY ***. I didn't want to be a single mom but I sure as HELL was not going to have an abortion to make his life easier!! So, he walked away that night. he kept calling me but wouldn't say anything-he did that til I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant. Then one day he called and asked how we were-what the sex of the baby was-I told him a girl-he said he was hoping for a boy??? Are you f**cking kidding me? then he asked if he could see me and my mom freaked out-said he was gonna take me-she's typical mom.
Anyway, he tried to come back and I wasn't interested. I felt that if he could walk away that easily once, how did I know he wouldn't again? He still works in the area and always looks at us when we go for walks (he works not far from my house, which is how I met him-he delivers for a pizza/sub joint-yeah HAHA, I got a delivery, it's a joke around here)
So, I'm a single mom but I have a great girl that I love more than anything and he's the one missing out on being with her, not me!! If he were any kiind of man, he would be here. i figure I'll eventually meet someone that's worth it, ya know??
I will preface this by saying I was 18 and being rebellious.
I met my ex H in April of 2002, my senior year of high school. We worked part time jobs at Pizza Hut. He was 24 and in the Navy. My mom thought it was cool for me to date him, my date didn't think it should be done. I fell in "love" with him b/c he was everything that my ex boyfriends weren't. Attentive, caring, blah, blah, blah. I managed to get myself kicked out of my parents house in June of 2002 b/c I refused to stop talking to him. My parents gave me the chance to come home but, I was 18 and knew better than them. July 3 2002 I got married. We started TTC in April of 2003. I FINALLY concieved early Januarary 2004. I had a rather eventful pregnancy including some serious bleeding and a month of bedrest in February. Then, in July Jamie was put in a Mental Hospital after I forced him to go to counseling for some illegal stuff. I told him he either gets couseling or a divorce. He was kicked out of the Navy November 4 2004 just 6 weeks after I gave birth to my beautiful DD. I stuck around and cought him doing the same illegal stuff again in March or April of 2005. I stuck around after he promised it wouldn't happen again.
In July of 2005 Jamie was pretty much neglecting me and Jasmine and using work as an excuse. I would get off work at midnight and I started going to a Yahoo Law Enforcement Chat to wind down after work since I didn't have anyone at home to talk to. I me a man named Phil that was a deputy in AL. We talked one night and added each other to yahoo messenger. We talked on messenger a lot at night after I got off work. He made me realise that I was in a bad relationship. Emotionally my marriage had ended a long time ago. I didn't really have any feelings for my husband any more. I did start having feelings for Phil though. The last week in August I decided to leave Jamie after a long talk with my Aunt.
I told Phil on Friday night that I was going to leave Jamie and he sent me a text message on my cell phone that Jamie found and he came in Saturday morning and asked me what was going on. I told him I wanted a divorce. I felt bad about breaking up Jasmine's family, but looking back, we weren't a family. Jasmine is so much better off without him. Phil moved to Tx Oct 3 and stepped right into the Daddy shoes. He is wonderful with her.
Jamie has seen her a total of about 5 days since I left him in August. I was going to let Jasmine go with Jamie to see his family in SC but I got a bad vibe so I didn't let her go. His Mom threatened to come to TX and get him a lawyer so that he can get full custody of Jasmine. I guess she doesn't realise that he never sees her. He has access to her everyday of the week other than on my days off. He never goes over to see her, he never gets her diapers or food or anything. He hasn't spent $100 on her including her birthday since I left him. Phil has acutally spent more on her that her Bio dad I think.
So anyways, you live, you learn.
I met my ex through my twin brother. they were BF, until my bro moved back home. i dated my ex for three months nad i ended up pregnant, and now he lives 13 hours away and doesnt seen to intrested in me and the baby only about partying. i feel alone too because mpst of my friends have ditched be except this guy named tony, who im kinda seeing. im living at home with my parents and im 20 yrs old, finishing school.
Okay well I guess it's my turn to tell my story!
I met my ex-boyfriend (we'll call him M) at my 19th birthday party in August 2001. We used to have so much fun together. We used to both drink and loved to party. We got along so well. For about 2 years we were pretty happy together, and our families loved us also, thought we would marry some day. Well...in about December of 2003 he was working out of town and became distant. He just wouldn't pay much attention to me anymore, and wasn't interested in what was going on back in town where we both lived. I met another man during that time (who we can call D), and we really hit it off. I didn't start seeing him or anything, but there was interest.
On Christmas Eve 2003 M broke up with me because I went to my aunt's house instead of his mom's for dinner. Stupid reason, right? Anyhow, we didn't talk for about a week after that so I assumed we were still broken up. I ended up hooking up with D. Big mistake. Besides that fact that he was a maniac loser - it caused severe problems between M and I. M started using drugs, which I didn't know about at that point. We ended up getting back together. If he were to tell you this story he would say that we were never broken up...
Fast forward to April 2005. M tells me he needs help because he's been using drugs for the past 2 years and can't stop. He's ruined his credit, and losing his house. I felt like such an idiot that I didn't know. I knew that we had problems and fought a lot, but had no idea he was an addict. I found out I was pregnant in June 2005. I told M he needed to get clean or wouldn't be part of our lives. He ended up going to 30 day rehab in September / October 2005. He stayed 21 days and felt that was good enough. Relapsed over Christmas 2005. Went back to rehab January 2006. He got out on January 20 2006, and moved into a half-way house on Jan 25 2006. I had Abigail a week later, January 31, 2006.
Anyhow, I'm a hopeless dreamer and thought that we could work it out if we both tried hard enough. We had rented a townhouse together In November, during a moment of his soberness (although it is in my name since his credit is ruined). We moved into it together when he got out of the halfway house in mid April. Well by the end of May I couldn't handle it anymore. We did nothing but fight and he was always calling me names and yelling at me. I didn't think it was good for Abigail.
So now, I've moved in with my parents, and the rental people are supposed to be trying to re-rent the townhouse, however since I have a lease I am technically responsible for rent through the end of November. M won't help with rent because his name isn't on the lease. He now wants partial custody. He really is pretty good with Abigail, however he just doens't know her needs like I do. I can't help it, I'm her mother. I want to be with her all of the time. I was born to be her mom. M wasn't even there through my whole pregnancy and even doubted that she was his until he saw her. She is undeniably his. First of all, I know who I've been with. Second, she looks just like him... he doesn't really question it anymore.
Anyhow, there really is so much more, as I'm sure there is to all of our stories. I really wish things could have worked out between her father and I...but he's not the same person I fell in love with. And to be honest, I don't think he's capable of love anymore...he sure doesn't act like it.
So here I am. With Abigail. She's all I need. She's my whole world. (Although I will admit that I do hope that I find a man someday who will love me and her as if she were his own.)