I never posted my story either...oops.
I met my almost ex husband in August '99. Got pg 2 weeks later. Baby #1 was born in May '00, we were married in June '00. Had babies #2 and 3...things were okay. Got pg with #4 about 4 days after my first prenatal visit he drops the "I don't love you" line. Told me he was seeing someone else.
They're now living together and are engaged...6 hours away. He sees the kids 4 or 5 times a year for a week each time...the occasional weekend, if he's feeling like it.
I've been dating for about a year now...it's going well. I just don't like being tied up with the court system.
t h e m a m a s o n l i n e . c o m
Last edited by MamaEi; 11-12-2008 at 11:00 AM.
"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
- George Orwell Animal Farm
I met AD my senior year of high school and we started dating around graduation and continued when I went away to college. I lost my virginity to him in March of 96 on spring break and was pregnant in June. He stuck by me, he even asked me to marry him which I declined since I didn't want to start off like that, and Ellie was born in March of 97. Unfortunately I was a mess and just not in a good place emotionally or mentally and we broke up shortly after that but he remained my best friend until he met his wife. We're still friends, just not the call each other and talk for hours kind.
He's a wonderful father who voluntarily pays cs every month without ever having gone to court. Ellie talks to him on the phone at least once a week and he makes sure he never misses his every other weekend visitation. He goes to all her school meetings and events and is just great. Nothing has changed even since he and his wife had their first child in March.
After Ellie's dad I dated other guys but never good ones. After a particularly devastating breakup I rebounded with my old on again/off again high school boyfriend. He seemed so safe that when he propsed shortly after we began dating I accepted. As I was starting to realize I was making a mistake I made another one by having sex with him (we were going to wait until we were married). Just when I decided I was going to call everything off I found out I was pregnant. I called it off anyway and he got his revenge by dropping off the face of the planet. The last time I talked to him was when I gave him the "your kid was born" courtesy call. Risa turned 3 in May and has never met her father.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I met SD at work. We were both 2nd level Tech Support reps for a cell phone mfg. He started a few months after I did and I hated him... in fact, most everyone on the team disliked him because he came in with a chip on his shoulder and thinking that he knew more than the rest of us. Turns out that he was friends with my friend, "N". They had just gotten an apartment together. N and I were fairly close, too. We talked a lot between calls about everything under the sun! He was going thru a divorce and it was hurting his kids and he was extremely distraught. I was trying to help him and we talked a lot. On Valentine's Day, 2003 we were talking about how awful it was that we were alone. He invited me back to his apartment for some beer and to play darts. I asked if S was gonna be there and was told that he wasn't so, I said okay. We got there and S was there. I told N that I was going to leave but S promised to be on his best behavior. Besides, playing darts is more fun with 3 people. So, I stayed. I got WAY drunk. So did S. So did N.
So, the night passed and we were all pretty wasted. N said he was going to sleep and if I wanted to, I could sleep on the couch cuz it was so late and I was so drunk. I said, "Cool." S came and sat down next to me. Said that I didn't have to sleep on the couch and that I could have his room. Since I was so drunk I said, "Sure." DUMB MISTAKE. I shouldn't have, but we all know that alcohol makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. Besides, he told me that he was sterrile so, what could it hurt, right?
Well, long story short, a few weeks later I started getting sick and throwing up a LOT. I knew immediately that i was pregnant but bought the test anyway. Right away the second line showed up. I threw the test across the bathroom while screaming expletives. I took the second one 'just to be sure' and did the same thing again.
Then, I called N. N freaked out that I slept with S and told me that S would never ever support the kid and that i should just abort it. Nope, not gonna happen, I told him. N told S that I was pg and S said just what N did. Said that he couldn't afford a kid and that I'd BETTER abort it. Nope, not gonna happen.
A few months later (3 years next week) he got fired from our job. He went to work at the hospital where I wound up giving birth to K. I was so scared that he would be able to get into the nursery and hurt her, that I wouldn't let her near it. I kept her with me at ALL times. I ended up with a killer case of PPD. I was shell-shocked and didnt' know what to do. and had to move to Orlando to be with my folks so they could help me with her. It was like I'd never been around babies before.
So, here I am now... raising K with the help of my parents because S. is a typical SD.
Hi, My name is Heather. I'm 25 and recently seperated. My husband is Luke (also 25). We've been together since we were in middle school (age 13)
We got married 5 years ago in May. We were both very happy. We started TTC shortly after and it took awhile but then we had our son in Sept. 03. Thinkg were still great. We joined the Catholic church together, we were very close. We then had DD in August of 05. She was also planned and things were still great when we were TTC her.
When I was pregnant with Addie things started to get just a little off track. This is when Luke started hanging out with his single friends a lot more and going out to bars and such. IT wasn't a huge problems because we still did things together and really the biggest issue I had with it at that time was the money being spent.
After Addie was born it got worse. He would take spells where he was going out a lot more often but I still didn't think he had any intentions of leaving us, just thought he was feeling overwhelmed with how our family had changed so drastically.
In January of this year though, when Addie was 5 months old) Luke was on a different shift at work where he got off at midnight. He would go out after that and not come home until SUPER late or early the next morning. Then after about 2 weeks of that he told me he wanted to seperate and get a divorce. He moved in with his sister for literally a couple days before he came back home. He was promising how everything was going to be different and how he knew all of our problems were his fault because he wasn't being the father and husband he should've been, etc. He even wanted to go to marriage counseling. He promised he was done going to the bars and everything was going to be different.
It was great for a couple months. Like we were newlyweds again. Then slowly he started going back to the bar again. At first it was just after work for a drink or two but he would still be home by dinnertime so I tried to over look it then it got to be more and more. Then the last two weeks before he left he probaly went out 5 or 6 times to where he stayed out till the bar closed before coming home. Even though he started doing this again he kept saying he wasn't wanting to leave again he was just hanging out with his friends.
He left on tuesday. He even planned for us to go on a camping trip and to a Nascar race the weekend before he left. We had a good time and while we were there he was talking about how he wanted to take me to a different race the following spring and how he was looking forward to our St. Augustine trip next April. He showed me no reason to think he was really thinking of leaving, except him going out again more.
Then when he came home from work the following Tuesday he was being really distant to me and finally I just asked him if he was thinking of leaving and he said yes. He wasn't happy here anymore and he just didn't want to be married anymore. He loves me but isn't in love with me.
It's so hard because I really didn't think he felt this way. He still told me he loved me and kissed and hugged me, our sex life was normal and good (at least a couple times a week, which he usually initiated).
He went to stay with his sister and it will be two weeks tomorrow.
I still can't believe this is happening. He isn't even showing the slightest bit of hesitation. Not giving it a second thought. I can't believe how easy it is for him to just throw everything we've had away.
He comes from a rough background and a family history of alcoholism, depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. I hope that none of that takes over him.
Of course I wonder if there is someone else. I don't think he specifically is leaving me because he is in love with someone else but I do think that he is maybe seeing other people or met someone. I think he just wants the option without feeling guilty. I always told him that I hoped if he ever felt like he would cheat on me to just leave me and not put me through that. So maybe that's what he did. I don't know. He swears there isn't anyone else and that it's just he wasn't happy being married anymore. He doesn't understand why everyone just doesn't get that.
So anyways, that's my story. I work at home so I don't get the oppurtunity to meet people and I'm scared to death to be single for the rest of my life. Of course I'm not wanting to start dating anytime soon since this is all new but I can't help but to think about it. All I ever wanted out of life was to be married and have a family. I still hope I find that with someone, even if it isn't Luke.
Well, I guess I'll post my story too. Man aren't these fathers unbeliveable though? All I can think while reading this was selfish, selfish, selfish!!!
I met Jay (SD) back in May of 1998. he was SO charming at first, so into me. I came from a rough background, was only 18, had been on my own for over a year but just lost my apartment. I was homeless and carless and jobless and really at my lowest. He said I could stay with him and, within a week, I was living there. Once he knew that I needed him, things changed. He was VERY possessive, very abusive and there were a couple of physical moments. There were lots of drugs around and he promised me he "lost it" b/c of them. He had family in Alabama and Florida and begged me to stay with him and move there. He claimed that things in Massachusetts never worked for him and that he needed to get out.
I went. I packed my whole life up in a HUGE bag and took off with him at 18. We had only been together for about three months. My family and friends were freaking but, then again, where were those people when I was sleeping in my car? He loved me enough to care for me, so I should go, right??? WRONG!
It took him about 4 weeks before he was so abusive I had no choice but run. We were in Alabama, I new no one, had little money, no transportation. I was able to get my stuff out and took a LONG bus ride to Florida to my aunts house. Soon after I had to worst craving to GO HOME. I did and found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant.
Jay came back up north when he learned this and wanted to have a family. I figured I owed my unborn son that much and tried. We slept together once, I was almost 6 months along, and I caught a very treatable, but pregnancy-damaging, STD. I spent the rest of my pregnancy on bedrest and in hospitals and I left Jay then. I knew he had cheated, he couldn't deny it and that was the end. Because of his drug use, he had court supervised visits with Alex starting when he was 9 months old until he was about three. Since then, he has settled down, had two more children and got married. I really like her a lot, she is great to my son and her kids are a lot of fun. I baby-sit them often. Its nice to see Alex be a big brother.
When Alex was three, I got together with Andy, my SO now. We've been together over 4 years now and it has been rocky, at best. We are happy now, finally settled in to our relationship and he has grown up A LOT! Money issues forced us to live with my mom but we are close to finding our own place. I am still nervous of our future but we are trying our best. Alex loves him so much.
Thats my story!!!
~ TTC since Aug 05 ~
~ TTC After Three Losses ~
Last Angel Lost: 10-27-2007
Guess i'll add mine now.
Met xh Nov of 99. Moved in with him Dec 99. Found out i was pg Dec 31,99. Everyone pushed us to get married. Got married April 00. Found out a week before hand that it was a boy. EDD was Aug 24.
I was induced Sept 4,00 (labor day). My epi didnt work, ds heart rate dropped no time i fix it. I was 9 to 9.5 cm and was basically told to push now. Ds was born 6lbs 14 oz 19 1/4 inches.
Feb 01 (just a few days after Dale Earnhardt Sr was killed) I started working again. My first night back xh decided he was going out with a friend (my best friend a female) i told him he needed to stay home and help me with a teething baby. I just worked 8 hours he could help. We got into an argument and he left. So i left after that.
Found out a few days later they where sleeping together (could never confirm when it started).
Xh and the witch tried to get custody of ds. I had a few friends even testify for the xh (people i had known for year before i even met xh) and other friends that where there for him and none for me. (havent talked to any of them more then a few handfuls of times, dont need friends like them).
Met dh Sept 01. He moved in with me at my parents house in Jan 02. My divorce was finale May 02. Dh and i got married Aug 02.
thats the short version of the last few years.
looks like i may be going 0-2 on life.
We were both 18 when we got married in 1986. We waited 7 years to start having children- I put him through architecture school during that period. We had 3 perfect children. When my son was 18 months old, my ex told me he had met a woman and thought he was in love. I had put up with 15 years of lies and turmoil and the fact that he was leaving me really pissed me off. He spent the next 6 months trying to get back together with me but the thought of it made me want to vomit. I spent 5 years of my life fighting with him in court over support and custody. One day it just stopped (maybe because my new love wouldn't let my ex push us around). He pays child support regularly but hasn't seen the kids since Oct 05. I recently married a man 12 years younger than me (we have lived together for almost 3 years) and a week after our wedding I gave birth to our son who is almost 5 months old. Life is wonderful now but for a long time I didn't feel I could go on...at times it was just too much heartache for my children and I. Parents, stay hopeful- life always gets better if you just stay the course
Quick background since I'm new.
Dated R for 2 yrs, got pregnant dec '02. R got violent, into drugs and partying. R sent me to hospital w/ concussion and spinal injury. I left him, sent him to jail, he then got off scott-free. Had Tod on 9-16-03. Turned 19 nov '03.
2002 - Started dating C. Went camping w/ mutual friends out-of-state in april. C slipped something in my drink, and slipped into my tent after I was passed out cold. I found out the next morning, broke up w/ him and drove home. Tada I'm pregnant. Cops say I have no case. C goes to jail for the same thing 2 months later. Janae is born 1-12-07. I turned 22 nov '06.
Single mother of two at age 22 and this is by the ONLY 2 people I've ever dated. Wow isnt this a lovely world. I'm never dating again.
Just Me, Tod and Janae