I met my daughter's father about a year after I had graduated college. I was working my first "real" job at the local newspaper in the advertising department. Lets just say I was celebrating my freedom after completing 17 years of school (including preschool), and going out to the bars every night, partying every weekend.
I met Jed through mutual friends at a bar where we were all hanging out one night. Instant attraction. I went for Super***** of the year and slept with him on the second date. He moved into my place because my roommate and I needed someone to fill the extra room. I ended up sleeping in there most nights, and eventually we just became a couple. Maybe it was the combination of our *ahem* sexually and chemically liberal lifestyle, but I was head-over-heels for him.
After 6 months he proposed to me, and I accepted the ring. About 2 months after that we were offered the opportunity to go down the New Orleans and help with the rebuilding/relief process. Jed is a roofer, and I have worked general construction, so I quit my office job and packed everything we owned.
We lived in a tent for the first few months we were down there, and I was on birth control, so I wasn't worried about getting pregnant. However, in Post-Katrina Lousiana, there are few Planned Parenthoods open, and I started skimping on my pills. I found out I was pregnant on Halloween, 2005. Scariest day of my life.
I worked on the jobsite during the first few weeks of my pregnancy. I had morning sickness, and felt horrible, which I think made all the southern good 'ole boys uncomfortable, because eventually they stopped giving me work. In fact they stopped paying Jed and me all together. My savings from my newspaper job ran out, and we were broke. The job fell apart. Our boss pretended he wasn't getting paid, so he didn't pay us, and kept all our money.
We dragged ourselves home to Colorado, me 5 months pregnant and both of us so far in debt, we didn't see a way out. We moved in with his parents, and I worked pizza delivery and temp jobs while he started his own subcontrated roofing company. We barely had enough money to pay our bills, and my grandfather gave us a "pre-wedding present" so we could finally pay first/last/deposit on a little cabin in the next town, 30 miles away.
I kept up with my temp job until Stinky Pants was born. Then I was a stay-at-home mom for 3 months while Jed "supported" us. Basically he got us so behind on our rent and his bills that I went back to work part time, bringing Baby Bear with me.
We had started fighted a lot, mostly about money, loss of sleep, stress, you know- things you FIGHT about when you have a kid. I thought we could work through them. I tried to ignore his constant criticism of my abilities as a housewife, mother and parter. How the dishers weren't clean enough, the floor was always covered in baby toys, the laundry was always dirty..etc.. It was only when I had a few drinks in me that I let him have it. Cowardly and pathetic huh?
One night we got into it bad. He shoved me out the door, and when I went to bed, he picked up the matress and dumped me onto the floor. I moved out a few weeks after that, after he said we should have a "break." We still weren't married at this point.
I sucked it up and moved in with my mother, shaming myself. I got a full time job as an assistant at the school district, and put Sweety into daycare. I hardly saw Jed after that, though we both had agreed that we should make weekly dates to make sure we "worked on" our relationship. He never showed up to any dates we made. I kept giving him chances.
He didn't show up for his daughter's first birthday. He never stopped by to see me at my Mom's. I think he saw Baby Bear a total of 8 times over the last 9 months. I started thinking he was just too much of a pussy to get the balls and tell me he didn't want to be with me anymore. He wanted the easy way out.
About a month ago, he tells me that "He never loved me the way I loved him" and his feelings weren't as strong as mine were. I told him he needs serious mental help, if he can live with someone for over 2 years and NOT have feelings for them. I told him that it didn't matter the excuses he gave me, because his daughter will grow up to see her dad is a deadbeat, and complete loser, and that's his punishment.
I have my own place now, and I love my job. I have a great daycare, and my self-esteem is no longer comparible to a wet rag. My daughter is growing beautifully, and I can't wait to see the awesome person she becomes. Her dad is the last thing on my mind. Who needs men like that? They are one in a million, sadly, but you live and learn right?
My story is long and dramatic so Ill try to keep it as sort and drama free as possible...
I met Autumns dad Mark completly random at this event I went to monthly. He was soo cute! and he asked me to coffee! we had coffee over and over and over for 3 months and then we started having sex. I was on the pill- have been since I was 14- hang me out of an airplane upside down and Id remember to take my pill at the same time everyday! 4 months later Mark moved in with me he was wonderful- truely wonderful. He was also playing a game... free place to live- food in the belly- house keeping to an extent lol. Anyway.. in March of 06- I finally got tired of havin a stomach bug that I had had for 3 weeks. I went to the Doctor- he asked if I was pregnant- I said I doubt it- I take my pills- but I am having sex...... he decided to do a test to be sure.... 15 minutes later I got to see a pink peice of paper that said "Positive" beside hcg- I was pregnant at 17.
When I told Mark he took it badly... but got over it quickly.. we moved from Calgary *big city* to a town called Olds *hour away* in April with my parents. My 18th birthday he proposed- I declined and instead the ring became a promise to be engaged since I didnt want him marrying me kuz Im pregnant. Shortly after that he started to become abusive- started small "dont see this person dont see that person" "your not REALLY wearing that are you"
mark also has problems with his temper, drug and alcahol abuse. In August of 06, it got REALLY bad during a camping trip where he almost hit my *at the time* 15 year old sister.... I told him to leave.
I feel for his BS and let him move back in in October of 06.
I had autumn Nov 11.
the poor quality of parenting- and partnership from Mark is a LONG list!
On december 28 06- Mark lost his temper again and shook autumn around like a rag doll telling me to take her so he could "punch that **** in the teeth" refering to my sister...
Ive been a single mom since- and I LOVE IT. I may complain once inawhile- but it truely is an amazing experiance Id never trade for the world. She is 13 months old- incredibly smart and beautiful. and I am her mom- I will be 20 in May.
Hi there. I am an unwed single mom. I was divorced last August. I TTC for 8 years and had finally given up that it wouldnt happen for me...and was ok with that. I met SD in November of 2007...he was kinda cute...but way tall (i love tall men and he is 6'6")...so i went out with him. he seemed sweet so we started dating....lasted two weeks. after we separated we had 'convenience' sex. that was the weekend i got pregnant. after i found out i told him. he was ok...then mad...then ok...then mad. accused me of trying to trap him (yeah, his broke, no money no assets self...what did i want...his xbox???) anywho, he suggested an abortion, I told him no. I then gave him the option to leave...no paternity test...no responsibility...but no rights. This would be MY child and MY child alone...and he left. Twice he's asked for another chance...and both times hes screwed up within 48 hours....so thats how I'm becoming a single mama....LO is due this August.
Long story short, I am 23 I have 2 kids (4 and under) and my DH died at the age of 33 of an accidental Methadone overdose.
Dylan 4/22/04, Devon 6/24/06,Dorothy 9/13/07, Derek 12/19/09, Daniel 12/18/10, Daphne 2/24/12
Mindie and Mark, 5/16/09
Ok so I saw this and thought I would explain my story. It's not as bad as most but its still mine.
I'll start at the beginning. After finishing my GCSEs I went to college in Cambridge, while there I went on a trip with the RAF and shattered my foot. This lead to me having to quit college as I lived over an hour away and couldn't get there every day. After quitting that I started another course a little closer to home. A meet a friend there, who introduced me to his best mate (the ex) one night while we were all down the pub. Needless to say nothing happened then.
A few months later I went into work one day. Went and sat in out canteen, and bumped into this guy again (ex) we got talking and arranged to meet up one night.
So we went from being nothing to friends to together really fast. By the time we had been together a month I had a falling out with my mum. I moved into his place with his mum and brothers for two months. We had to move out of there after that as his mum was leaving the house. She claimed she wanted nothing more to do with the kids. His dad was moving back in to take care of my ex's brothers. So we made upwith my mum and moved back in with her.
Within a month of being at my mum's I was pregnant. My little girl was due at the end of may.
Things were fine al through the pregnancy. Neither of us could have been much happier. Jen was born on 28th of April, just 2 days before my 18th birthday.
We had to be moved out of my mums pretty quick due to some things that happened when I was younger. The place wasn't safe for a baby girl. The social services paid for us to stay in a bed and breakfast for 2 months. Not exactly ideal. One room... three people.... no space and a lot of arguments.
After being there we were moved into a mobile home type thing. Which doesn't sound glamourous but it is far better than having just one room.
Things then took a turn for the worst. i had been suffering with black outs and seziures for a long time so my ex gave up workto look after us. This was probably the worst thing to happen. We where constantly in each others way and the arguments got worse; all day every day. Occasionally we turned physical, both of us so neither is to blame.
This is when I said I had enough. I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I wanted him to leave. He did.
He got himself a job and is back living with family. He see our daughter on a regular basis.
Things were fine.
He then decided it would be a good idea to ring social services again. And try to rip my life apart. I had to disclose everything that happened when I was a kid to my mum and the rest of the family in an attepmt to be able to keep my daughter. I couldn't bear to lose her... she is everything to me. My family are now ripped apart. My mum is suffering and so am I. The guilt and things of keeping things secret is destroying me. For my mum, its the feeling that she failed as my mother to protect me.
I left my home for a few days to get away from it all and get my head straight and to just take a break. So this is where I am now. Sitting at the computer over 3 hours away from it all. I plan to go home this afternoon and try to put my life back on track. Sort a lot of things out and start to think of the future for me and my daughter.
I think thats about it.
Hmmmm could of sworn I posted my story but I guess I didnt.
First my dd's sd.
originally through my best friend. We all worked for walmart in 2005. We hung out off and on in 2005 but I really didnt know him. Fast forward to late March 2006. I had just moved back. Chad & I started talking over the internet because the same friend that introduced us the year before gave him my sn. The next night I went to the bar with him. We talked all night about everything & like there was noone else around us. From then we were constantly with each other. We moved in together and things were great. Late April I got pregnant even though I was told I couldnt. I find out on May 20th(my best friends sons 3rd birthday) and I tell him. He seemed okay with it. We broke up in June or July because he couldnt handle me being pregnant. I end up in the ER and he shows up after drunk as all get out and tries to start a fight with me. I kick him out of my room. That was the night he went and cheated on me. We were apart about a week. Then we get back together. We fought constantly and things go down hill. He cheats on me again in late August early September. Happy birthday to me. We break up for good in September. I end up going into labor late Jan 11th. End up at the hospital early Jan 12 on the way there I call Chad and tell him were goin to the hospital. 6 people other then the nurses and dr are all there and are there when I have Trinity. He saw her a total of 3.5 hrs in 8 months then moved in and out of my house and our lives from Sept 07 to Feb 08. Things go south and we haven’t seen him since Feb. Since he has a prior c/s order I barely get anything in c/s. Chad
My ds's sd
Late Feb I meet John through a girl I worked with at the time. Things go good for awhile it was quick but we got engaged and planned on getting married. We get a house together and he looses his job after we were there about 2 weeks. Then he starts messing around and a lot of lies doesn’t keep a job very long and we are constantly fighting. Early May I find out Im pregnant yet again. Things settled a bit but it finally got to the point where we had no money for rent or anything I wasn’t working(he told me I could stay home and take care of Trinity) so I ended it and moved back in with my parents. Things have finally settled. Noone is calling me trying to include me in their bs. Im due Jan 21st. 9 days after Trinitys 2nd birthday. John doesn’t call me or try to get anything for . Found out Sept 17th that it’s a boy. After he is born and I can go back to work Im getting a job as soon as I can (noone will hire a pregnant woman) so we can move out soon to. He leaves me alone now because he has a gf or something. r Taylo
Last edited by keaty; 10-20-2008 at 01:14 AM.
My age 20-22
I met him right after I moved to Mississippi in 00'. I moved in the day after we met(I know bad idea) things were good even though some drugs (pot) was involved we broke up few months later. I found out I was pg right after that. He denied it was his. Then agreed it was and then he pulled a disappearing act not to be heard from again. I had a hard time w/ just me and DD. When she was about one(02) I had bad depression. It was decided (by family not me) to give her to my Aunts SIL for adoption.
My age 22-28
I met my soon to be ex-h in July 02' we had a worldwin romance after dating a few months found out I was pg again. It drug up bad emotions about last time. I started bleeding few days after I found out. They told us it was a m/c so we went home to morn.. Three wks later I went in for a check up found out I was pg, but here is the catch we hadnt DTD since before the m/c. It turns out I was pg w/ twins one was detected early on the other wasnt. The early one was the one I miss carries. So it turned out I was still pg. Well me and ex got married, bought a house, and had a baby all in the same year(03').
FF to 2007 thing got bad we split he got DS and I got DS every other weekend.
FF>>> In late Feb. of 08' my ex was arrested. I got DS back and moved in with SIL in June 08'. He took a plea in the last part of 08' so he is gone for a good while. In the mean time I met someone else....
My age 28-present
I met SO in Aug/Sept. We hit it off right away we hanged out alot he treated my DS great. Then one day when I had a feeling that all wasnt right I took a pg test late at night it said pregnant was in denial then took another one few hours later right before work (which I had to be there @ 4 am) another pregnant pops up. I was like "Why now after 5yrs". So I told SO he stuck around took awhile to be comfy with it. We where done w/ having kids when this one snuck in. But he is sticking by us. We have about 10 wks to go until this one is born Due May 18, 2009. And I am getting fixed!!!
I know a really F***** situation. But, I have the best part of them.
Hope to get know you all.
Birth Buddy with care122481/Carolyn
I'm Lara, 23, preggo with my first.
I met the father at the job I was recently laid off from. We were immidiate friends, I sat in the desk that used to be his, thats how we met. We'd smoke together, lunch together, hang out after work a bit. He is a single dad, has 4 kids, two of which live with him full time. He's 30.
We started hanging out nights after the kids were in bed, eventually we decided we were dating. It was the best relationship I had been in, in so long. Almost three months into it, and a few days after I had been laid off I realised I was preggo. Tested twice, positive.
Telling someone with 4 kids you're pregnant isn't easy. He didn't take it well. We started fighting and he grew distant. He knew I wasn't on birth control, because I don't like how sick it makes me. He still put up a big fight about using a condom. Turns out the night it mattered was another one of those nights I lost the fight. Silly as it is, I really didn't think I'd end up pregnant.
We both lost our jobs, he found a new one right away, I'm still looking. He stopped taking me out, stopped having time for me. Stopped kissing me. Suddenly is was a problem when we spent the night, his grandmother bought him the house he lives in. She's a jehovas witness. Apparently she said she'd throw him and his kids out if I spent the night anymore (she still doesn't know im preggo). He got cold and crabby, so I broke up with him.
A month later he calls me, says he misses me. We start dating again. He actually makes an effort to give a **** the first couple weeks. We are back to him calling maybe once a week. No effort at all. I haven't broken up with him again because it seems pointless. I rarely see or talk to him, I miss him but he doesn't seem to care and I'm sick of chasing.
So, even though there is a title of dating, I'm a single mom to be. I have taken care of every part of this pregnancy so far and I don't see him ever contributing.
Thats the basic rundown. He's an amazing father to the kids he has, I don't know why he has such a problem with this one when he refused to stop it from happening. Why I am the bad guy. Some days it hurts, some days it doesn't.
So, thats it.
I'm Kate, and this is my first pregnancy.
I would like to start off by saying that I'm soo glad I found this site. Pregnancy is scary enough without having to go through it by yourself!
There's not much of a story, I guess. I'm 16 and was at a summer camp, met a guy, had a fling for a couple of days, and then found out I was pregnant. He lives in California and I live in Missouri, and I've told him and everything but he's not really that supportive. He tries to be but I'm not sure how.
The only thing I'm worried about is what to do when the baby comes. I don't want to take the chance of allowing him to be involved because if he's not consistent it could end up really hurting a child. Advice would be welcome