Ok, Story Time (from Single Moms & Dads)

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Ok, Story Time (from Single Moms & Dads)

Tell me your story! How did you get to be a single parent? By choice? Unwed? Divorce?

There are new faces here, and I want to make sure I keep all of you straight!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I was 18 when I met G's SD. We were together for a couple of months. I got pregnant, I left him.
Drama-rama from there.

I'm now married, but still dealing with the ex-factor. Wink

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I wanted to post earlier today but keira just would not let me so now that she is sleeping i can finally do it Smile

I guess its best to start at the beginning of my weird story so i will Smile

I met Keiras dad on the internet neither of us were looking for a relationship or anything we actually met on a tropical fish chat room (yeah i know we are geeks)

We talked for a while and decided that we really wanted to meet so after talking to each other over the net and phone for a whole month and a half i decided to go meet him. He lives in Australia and i live in Canada so this was not a small decision to make and everyone told me i was nuts to go so far to meet a guy that i had only talked to for less than 2 months.

Even though we had only known each other for a short time we knew that we loved each other we had planned that we wanted to start trying to concieve when i got there to see him and we wanted to get married as well. I had planned to immigrate there as well but that never ended up working out. I got pregnant a whole 2 weeks after i got there :oops: We did not expect it to happen that soon. Even though we were trying. because i got pregnant so quickly that made it impossible for me to get permanant status there. Mostly because i could not go through any of the medical exams like x-rays. So after 3 months together I was forced to go back home. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do.

We kept in contact everyday for the first little while when i got back but things started getting pretty bad between us. We were both pretty upset at being apart and it seemed like with having to pay for things for our baby we would never be able to get the money together for him to come here to be with us which is what we had decided to do before i left. He ended up on some pretty strong anti-depressants and started drinking a lot i started getting really angry with him for not looking after himself and he got pretty resentful of it, I tried throwing all kinds of you need to be responsible for our baby comments at him and i guess i kinda scared him. he started to think his life would be over if he came here. He started going out a lot and i am sure was probably seeing other women not that i really blame him cause i treated him pretty badly. I was having a hard time controlling my emotions and quite frequently exploded at him which made us fight a lot.

He got pretty distant and since i was really needing his support through the pregnancy i asked him to decide what he wanted he told me he was not sure. That was not really good enough for me and he had not made any arrangements or set any date for him to come here so i told him i needed to know right then if he planned to be here at all or what. He told me he was not sure if his feelings for me were as strong as they once were and was not sure that it was the right thing to do to move here to be with me. I got pretty upset and we decided that we should probably not be together at that point which was really the best thing for both of us. I was so depressed i was making myself sick and it was not good for my pregnancy either i think we both knew it was the right thing to break up.

It took a little while maybe about a month of not really talking before things got any better between us but eventually we started talking as friends he was always asking how i was doing and keeping up to date on how the pregnancy was going. I had told him i expected him to pay child support and he agreed to give me $300 a month towards helping me look after her which he gave me even while i was pregnant even though he technically did not have to. Since we broke up in july we have become really good friends and i think the break up was really what we needed at the time.

He has not seen our daughter yet but really wants to. Right now he and i are talking on a regular basis and are talking about the possibility of getting back together later this year when he comes to visit. He will decide then if Canada seems like the right place for him before he makes the decision to leave his life in Australia and move here. He says he really wants to but he needs to make sure he likes it here first and that he can get a job here so he can make sure Keira and i are looked after properly.

My story is not as bad as some peoples and my ex is actually a pretty good guy we just had a lot of difficult issues with being apart and my pregnancy hormones making me be such a cow to him. I would have left me too if i were him. But things Are a lot better now and i am back to normal so maybe one day i will get my family back together if not i will keep doing it on my own.

Sorry my story is so long

Joined: 06/01/04
Posts: 6

HOWDY ...

ok i seen this post and seeing i am apart of the board thought i would post my story so here it goes ...

I met Rod on a chatline .. a phone chatline 4yrs ago ... we only spoke at first for a few days and from the 1st min i spoke to him i had this feeling that i really liked him so i rang him one day and said Let's meet ...

So i met him after a month of talking to him on the phone and as soon as we seen each other i fell in love and so did he .. he didnt leave after that he pretty much moved in and thats where our relationship started ... after a month i found out i was pregnant with my 3rd son .. he was soooo over the moon that he was finally going to be a daddy as he had always wanted to be one. well as time went on it got rough we started fighting and i started treating him like crap so he said .. my friends told him that it is my Hormones and it will pass .. well we both started fighting pretty bad and i kept throwing him out of the house ... i didnt relise what i was doing at the time was wrong but u know how we are when we are pregnant ...

Anyway .. i had jake and things were purfect for ages .. and then it hitt .. he told my friend he wasnt happy that i treated him like crap etc .. she told him to leave my ass if he isnt happy and he told her he couldnt do it ... not to our son ... so he stayed with me for the sake of him .. i didnt know what was goin on at the time .. then we started fighting all the time then making up and this went on for about a yr ...

last year in march we were together 3yrs .. we went out for our anniversary .. and things seemed ok from what i could tell ... well a week went along and he got given some bad news that his grandad was really sick and that he should see him b4 he passes so he did this .. he went out with his day that to do so with his family ... when he got home he was upset and i tryed to comfort him but it didnt work .. something was really up .. so i left him along ... anyway

The phone rang i was making jakes bed at the time and it was my next door neighbout mel ... she asked me if i was sitting down i said Why she said she needed to tell me something ... i went ok .. and she said that Rod has been Cheating on me ... and im like WTF ... who with she said she didnt know but he told her bf and she thought it was rite that i had a rite to know ... so i was PISSED :pissed: of course .. and i hung up on her stormed down the hallway and said WHO THE F**CK IS SHE ?? he said WHAT .. i said who are u cheating on me with blah blah blah ... he said Dont worry and i said ill give u dont worry ... and i slapped him across the face ... he then got up walked up the hallway into the bedroom and started packing his things .. he was leaving me .. anyway as u can imagine i was REALLY upset ... i even got Suicidal at one stage ... and i neally succeeded ! i ended up finding out who it was and how .. it turned out that MY BEST FRIEND had set him up with one of HER friends that i Knew ... and can i tell u that i am still to this day F**cked off at her ... i no-longer talk to ither of them ... they are history in my eyes .. rod is no-longer with this girl ... i made sure it didnt last ... he is now with some other bimbo that stops him from seeing us .. well she accepts MJ AND JAKE but doesnt except that i will always be in his life no-matter what ...

Its now been 14months since we split up and to this day I still love him alot ... i wont lie we have continued sleeping together and i think its helping me heal more ... where u would think it would keep my feelings strong .. we fight like car and dog still as he is constantly hot nd cold with the kids ... one min we will be in contact the next i dont hear from him for weeks on end ...

Yesterday i got a phone call and he said im going to make this quick but im ready for jake .. i asked him what he meant and he said he wants jake full time or nothing at all that jake will never see his dad again and the same goes for mikayla too ... i didnt get a chance to reply .. he also says that he needs me to hand over jakes welfair money i get for him so he can get himself jake and his GF set up in a house .. i felt like saying go get a job .. but anyway he hasnt called back so thats a good thing but when he does it is goin to be on for young and old ..

Thats it for now .. i thinki i have gone on enuff and if u have read it lol thanx ... this is how i become a Single Mommy !

Joined: 03/09/05
Posts: 2

Okay, the father of the two older sons (Chris 13 and Xavier 11) has been a major thorn in my side for so long. He's one of those that I would have been better off without. We met when I was 15 and out partying. He pursued me for months before I gave him a chance. Finally did and 2 years later we had a son. So then I realize, I'm too young to be tied down to anyone. Besides he wasn't doing jack for us. I was the one providing for us. So during the time we were breaking up, I got pregnant with Xavier. I decided to keep him but not to go back to the SD. He's been a part their lives but he's totally unreliable and full of sh*t. It's now that they are seeing it through their own eyes.

Now, Mikey's AD I met at work in 2002. We started dating and 2 months later, I was preggo. Didn't see that coming but I embraced it. AD didn't want a committment so he wasn't really around during my pregnancy. He wasn't there when Mikey was born either. We had some major blowouts during my pregnancy and were not getting along at all. So when Mikey was about 5 weeks old, he came to see him. It's been a rough road but at this time, he's an AD and not and SD. He loves his son and has him every other weekend. Mikey really loves his daddy too. Don't get me wrong, it's been hard. Having Mikey has been MUCH harder than it was when Chris and X were babies. I guess it's because I'm older now and no longer living with my mom (she helped me raise those boys). He's really completed our family though, and we love him to pieces. I'll have to post some pix soon when I figure out how, LOL.

Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 14

I am Mel and ds Alec is 6yo. My story....... well I got married WAY to young and was married for 5 years. I have been divorced for little over 3 years now. Mike (exh) is a good dad, has ds on every other weekend and every wednesday. umm....... not much else to really tell. Nice to meet you all!!

Joined: 04/22/05
Posts: 1

I am Tracie. I was with my ex for a total of 14 years, 9 of it marrried. We separated in 2003 when our dd was about 1 1/2. Our divorce is almost final. He lives in the Virgin Islands, I lived there for 5 1/2 years, moved back to Michigan when I left him. He comes up about every 6 months to visit her. I left because he had a drug addiction, and we had other issues that were amplified because of that. I have been dating someone for about 3 months and have restarted my life and am very happy. Nice to meet you all.

Joined: 09/15/02
Posts: 61

Well I'm new here and should intorduce myself, I guess Wink
I'm sure my story is not even close to anyone else's on this board, but the end result is the same.

I'm Jennie.
I moved in with my BF when I was 21, we had been dating 2 months.
2 years later we got married.
9 years later we decided to TTC. 2 cycles later I was preg w/DD Jordan. We decided to TTC again and the next cycle DS James Jr was on his way. JD was 10 months old when we were told that James had cancer and 6 months later he was gone. I was a widow at 35 with a 3 year old and an 18 month old. Now they are 2 and 4 and I am dealing with a lot of the "single parent" things. Not all of them I know, I don't have to worry about visitations and child support, but I know that is not all there is to being a single mom.

I have some questions and thought this would be the place to come.
TIA

Joined: 03/09/05
Posts: 2

Jennie, your in the right place sweetie! Ask away!

Joined: 03/26/05
Posts: 13

Hey There! I post here, but since all of you shared your stories as to how you became single moms, I thought I would, too!

It wasn't my choice to become a single mom. In fact, the thought never crossed my mind. Bryan & I met on Thanksgiving Day last November. It was love at first sight, but I had been hurt in previous relationships and wanted to take my time, still. We were friends for a couple of weeks, and I noticed we had a lot in common and he truly understood me. I could see he was a ginuinely great person so on December 6th, we began dating officially. We had one of those Christmas Romances! It was beautiful. Well, he had already explained to me that about a year before he had depression problems, but little did I know... it was worse than that, I just didn't know it yet.

We conceived our DS around Jan. 18th. A few days before he started his new semester of college. I asked him what he'd do if he found out I was pregnant (I had so many symptoms) and he said "Aw, baby don't you dare worry... i'll take care of you and the baby. We'll make it out okay." So I went on believing that....took an at-home pregnancy test on March 1st and it came out positive. I called him as he was leaving college, which was a 1/2 hour away from me and he was like "I'm not surprised at all. It's no big deal baby, just calm down..." Because I was so nervous, I'm 18, and had just graduated from high school in January. So a week later, I told my mom... she was disappointed at first but then grew so excited. She was like "yay.....I finally get my first grandchild! Don't you worry, i'll help you guys as much as I can!" and he knew that. Well a week later, he called me from his break from college and said out of the blue "I can't be with you..." I said "WHAT.....WTF does this come from????" and he said "I just can't....I can't handle you or a baby right now, I just gotta worry about school." I was like "Oh no buddy your not getting away with it that freckin' easy, you have responsibility now, too..." Well, it was like a different person completely that day... then that night he came over to my house crying telling me that he was sorry and all that. I accepted his apology and we went on... Well from that point on, after he found out about the baby, he kept going on these crazy spurs. It's like, any little bit of stress that came up, he just couldn't handle it. I had to tell him how to do every little thing because he had been spoiled and babied so much his entire life...and it was annoying, but I did it because I loved him. Well, he started acting better, so we got our own apartment finally. 2 weeks later, we had a little argument, nothing huge, and he freaked and opened the door and took off running bare foot... I had no idea where he went but all I knew is that I was in that apartment by myself, pregnant and ALONE. I was like "WTH am I doing putting up with this!" He ended up being at the hospital in a depression chamber because an ambulance found him. He was telling the guy that no one cared about him so he wanted to go to the hospital which wasn't true.

I moved out the next day because 3 times before that he had threatened me and the babies life and I couldn't take it anymore. I came back home and my mom had open arms. He called me the next day begging me back and I said "NO!" I was so scared he would hurt me and the baby after previous threats to our lives and I couldn't put myself much less the babies life at risk any longer.

That night, he committed suicide...on May 21st. There are train tracks in the front of my house, little did I know, he laid himself down and let a train run over him...a detective came to my house the next day and told me what had happened and when I found out that it was directly in front of my house, only a few feet away, it killed me inside. I was distraught, had to be taken to the hospital and given a volume to calm down.

Even though our lives were at risk, STILL, I loved him with all of my heart and I didn't want that to happen. I later found out from his mom and dad (Which BTW should have freckin' forewarned me!) that he was born with a chemical imbalance and was showing the beginning signs of schitzophrenia (He heard voices in his head and had multiple personalities).

It's been tough ever since but I know that I have to go on for my little boy, he'll be here in 3 months and one week. I have to pull myself together and be strong for him. He's not entitled to much social security because his dad didn't work long enough and sometimes I get angry because it's all on me now. It's like he took his life and rid himself of all the problems... but I know that God didn't give me anything that I can't handle and i'm trying to move on... This is how I became a single mom.

renee224's picture
Joined: 05/07/05
Posts: 1

Hi my name is Renee I am a 25 year old single mom to a 4 year old son. Let me start out by saying I am so glad to have found this place. Here it goes, I will start well first of all my sons father and I were never married I will give you his name to make this easier to telll his name is Scott and my sons name is Nathan. Ok well When I first found out I was pregnant we were living with a married couple Sean and Jessica and we shared a house with them well around my 6 month of pregnancy I started to notice that jessica and scott were pretty close with each other. I finally had enough one night when we were all watching a movie together I got up to go pee which I did quite often at that point but, when I got back she was sitting next to scott and had pulled the blanket over the two of them. I ran in our room crying told my mom to come pick me up. Well after that its a little fuzzy with details I dont remember a lot of the last part of my pregnancy due to the fact I was so upset all of the time. Well about a month after I moved out I found out that Jessica and Scott were sleeping together with sean still living there.

I had nathan on dec. 22nd 2000 and when I called to tell him he wanted to bring jessica up there too which I refused yes she was my best friend but, now I dont even want her to be anywhere near me. He did come up without her to see his son but, she was waiting in the car. well for the first year he would come over every once in awhile and see nathan it wasnt regular but it was like every two weeks or so. well pretty soon the visitation stopped and everytime I tryed to call I would get her and she wanted nothing to do with anything well Just recently in January he called me and told me he wants to start seeing his son again welll he started comming over every week sometimes more to visit and also started to get at me telling me all kinds of what I have recently found out were lies he even went as far as to beg me to be with him ... but, I am a strong stubborn women and I refused (he has still been talking to jessica all the time I know they have two daughters together now but, I cant be with him when he is calling her everyday) Well this past week he called me on tuesday and said something has happened and jessica is being kicked out of where she is staying and he is leaving for ohio wednesday .. so now he is gone and now the attitude starts again . Yesterday I tried to call him so my son could talk to him and he did not answer instead she answered his phone and told me he is at the store .. so i left a message and he never called back I did try to call again today and now the number is disconnected. I just hate that he is now hurting my son ... If he hurts me I can get over it but, his son is only four and he wants to talk to him all the time and I hate the look on his face when I tell him we cant call him. Well that is as short of a version as I could get without missing important details and that is how I became a single mom.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

F and I met in Oct. 1997 and married in August 1999. Things were going really well. Then I got pregnant while being on BCP in Dec. 2000. Found out at 6 weeks I was having twins! :shock: Anyway, we both were a bit shocked but still happy and excited. Actually, it seemed I was having a harder time with accepting that I was going to be a parent than he.

When I went into labor I was completely freaking out, I wasn't ready, they were almost 4 weeks early but he was all ready for them to come and for him to be a dad, or so he said. So, they came. All was well despite the sleep deprivation and all that comes with being a parent X2.

At 6 weeks old Derek developed colic and that was really the begining of the end. He couldn't handle all the crying and Justin would cry for attention and he just couldn't take it. He stopped talking to me from then on until they were 8 months old. During this time when he talked to me he yelled at how I was the mom and I should be able to make them stop crying. At times he said we should put one or both the boys up for adoption and told me how they ruined his life. His mom moved in with us and she helped me during the week along with my parents. On weekends I was all alone though. He disappeared most of the time or slept. THere were times when I was literally on my hands and knees crying and begging for help and he'd either leave the house or go upstairs to bed. At 14 weeks I went back to work and it was really hard working and caring for them by myself when I got home from work, at night and the weekends. I was so sleep deprived between Derek's colic and Justin waking up every 45 mins - hr. and F would never help in the middle of the night or when he got home from work. He would actually get mad at me for being so tired at night I didnt hear them cry right away. He would never help with any household chores, no cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc...that was all on me as well.

THe only reason he began to help a little at 8 months was because he and his mom got in a fight and she left and I said either he had to shape up or he had to leave and I'd have his mom return. Add by then Derek's colic had finally stopped, it did at about 6 months old. He promised to try harder and I resolved to try and make it work. We tried to function as a family. He was really helpful for a couple of weeks but then it quickly turned to his way of "helping" me was letting me nap a day on the weekend for 2-3 hours and letting me go food shopping without them until 13 months old. He really didnt come home during the week, he works an hour and a half away and stayed at friends during the week and only came home weekends.

At 13 mos my dad commit suicide and shot my mom right before he took his life. At that point they were the only other people that helped me. So I now lost my dad and my mom wound up being hospitalized for 4 1/2 months. I again told him without their help he needed to do more...so now more was the first week after he did everything since I was a zombie from witnessing the above mentioned stuff but that quickly went back to the other way. He also was completely unsupportive of the emotional trama I had gone thru and 6 weeks after my dad dies was THanksgiving. My mom was in the hospital and I started to cry and he told me to "get over it, my dad had already been dead for almost 6 weeks." He also watched the boys for an extra hour or so on the weekends so I could visit my mom in the hospital. He still only came home on weekends or maybe one night during the week. So from then until the boys were 27 months old we did this and I tried to continue to make it work, I thought I needed him and the boys needed him but at 27 months I was just tired of being alone all the time and doing everything and finally realized I didnt need him. SO one time he again threatened to leave us and this time I went and packed his bag for him.

So from then until this past Oct when the boys were 37 months old their interaction with him was minimal, maybe once every other week fro a few hours but at my house. THen he decided he wanted to be more involved so he started taking them over night every other weekend. Just this June I filed for divorce.

We are amicable now mainly because I dont want the boys to be surrounded by hostility so I have accepted his betrayal for the first 3 years of their life and accept he wants to be more involved now. I just hope he keeps it up.

And that's that...sorry so darn long!

rickydiculous's picture
Joined: 02/14/02
Posts: 140

I realized I never told my story; I'm taking exerpts from my private journal, so here it is:

February 17th, 2001 11:35pm ~ Richard has been out for about 4 hours and I think, that's a lot of time for only having $10. I didn't want him to go out. In fact we had a fight about his having to meet "a friend". But it was always so important that he get to go out with his friends even if he can only have one drink. And I was resentful. I was trying so hard to get us out of debt and all he wants to do is go out drinking with his friends. I had just talked to a friend online discussing how I really thought Richard and I needed counselling. And he wouldn't have an excuse now not to go, because we were covered through our new association AND Richard wasn't working. And we definitely needed couples counselling because I was feeling very resentful.

approx. 12:00 (now February 18th)~ I turn on SNL. I'm gonna wait up for him. I'm beginning to get worried, but he stays out late to all hours what seems like too often now. Wish he would just GROW up! I look out the window and see a cop car which I think is odd since I had seen one last night and heard a domestic disturbance. Why would they do it again?

About 12:30 ~ I hear a knock on the door. I look in the peephole, the cops... hmmm, the ones who have their car in the front drive of the apartment building.... I open the door. They ask me if I'm Teresa ******. I tell them yes. They ask me which spot is my car in. I tell them i don't know the spot number. They ask me if they can show me. I tell them I have a baby sleeping, I can't just go downstairs. They ask me if the car is even downstairs, I ask them what they mean. They said that they found my car . I tell them, well maybe my husband took it out, but he's not supposed to because he's going out drinking and we live right on the subway line. They ask to come in. I let them in. By then, Ricky is rousing. I have to go pick him up.

I'm starting to get nervous. I didn't know why the police were here, why they were wanting to come in. I was thinking, OMG, Richard was caught drinking and driving and now they're gonna arrest me because it's my car! They ask to see pictures of my husband. Ummmm, OK. I show them recent Christmas pictures.

They now tell me (as I'm holding a very tired Ricky who won't settle and go back to sleep) : We found a man in your car. He's since been transferred to hospital. When we found him he was passed out and we tried to resuscitate him. But he is now at the hospital where they are trying to revive him. We need to identify this man as he has no ID on him.

I'm shaking now. Who is this man? I don't even fathom that it could be Richard. No way... Richard probably left the doors unlocked and some guy climbed into my car. Richard is probably still at the bar drinking with his friends.

at about 1 am: The police have now asked that I call someone to watch Ricky because they need me to go to the hospital and see who this guy is. I had noticed the two officers look at each other with meaningful looks when they saw the picture of Richard. Not sure what that meant. I'm still convinced they're going to arrest me. So I tell them, I would have to see if my sister is home, because she was gonna go out with her friends.

I call my sister, she's sleeping, I explain what has happened, and she comes over. Once she arrives, the police sit us both down and explain the situation. Now there is further news. The man whom they found in my car has passed away. Now I have to go identify him.

I'm in denial.... Richard is sitting in a bar somewhere thinking, gosh I should go home. Or now he's looking for the car, and realizing something is wrong.

I put on my coat and we go out to the police car. I comment how I've never sat in a police car before. The two officers look at each other and suggest that I sit in the front seat. That's when I realized I wasn't being arrested. That's when I realized I was actually going to identify a body. I started praying that the body wasn't Richard. I started envisioning that I would being looking at a stranger.

We arrive at the hospital. Very quiet. Police milling about. A priest comes up to me. He identifies himself as a Catholic priest. I had told the police when they asked if I had any affiliations that I was a non-practising Catholic. Huh, they thought of everything. I remembered the last time I was at that hospital. Visiting Richard too, he'd torn the ligaments in his knee. The priest shakes my hand and I just look at him... What is he doing here? I'm not really religious. And neither is Richard. Besides, Richard is Protestant, so what would he need a Catholic priest? My mind is racing... I want to go look at this man. I'm not really listening to what the priest says anyway.

I've seen Richard under blankets enough times to know what he looks like. They didn't even have to lift up the blanket over his face. I knew it was him. I remember looking at how the toe points up. And how long the body was. Looking at his face only confirmed it. And from there it is blurry.

I know I cried. I know I backed up to the wall and cried very loudly. I know I had to say yes it's Richard. I know that the priest asked if I wanted last rites performed on him. I know I had agreed and then immediately wondered if I did wrong since Richard was Protestant. I know I was crying in disbelief. I know I asked to be alone with him. I know I laid my head down on his chest wishing he could put his arm around me. And his chest was still warm. How could he be dead? But of course I heard no heart beating, I heard no stomach gurgles. I heard nothing.

I promised him to take care of our son. I promised I would love him forever.

And after I stood up, my first thought was OMG I need a smoke!!!!

*****And that's how I became a single mom.

Joined: 10/23/03
Posts: 1

My name is Temeni; I am 23 years old (will be 24 on October 9th). I have a son, Kamden Douglas, who will be 1 year old on October 7th. I am new to this board, just recently found you guys and I’m SO glad that I did. Here is my story.

I met my ex-fiancé, Jason, on March 8, 2001. At that time he was dating my cousin and they were trying to set me up with his friend. He was more interested in me and I was more interested in him. He broke up with my cousin and started dating me. She is not upset by this and has remained a very close friend and family member in my life and for Kamden.

I ended up moving in with him on April 5, 2001 – only two weeks and one day since we started dating each other. Actually I moved in with him and his parents. If I had only known then what I knew now. He started drinking shortly after I moved in there, but hates beer, and would only drink vodka or other hard liquors. He also started introducing himself to drugs and became quite the partier.

We got engaged after only 5 months, on September 11, 2001. He started to change shortly after that. Becoming abusive, physically, mentally, and verbally. I put up with it for so long and why I was so stupid I will never know.

I ended up in the hospital once for severe damage to my back that he caused by getting extremely drunk and violent and body slamming me on a concrete patio. To this day I still have bad back problems because of that incident – and being pregnant was not easy with a slipped disk. The violence, abuse, drinking, drugs continued.

He blamed his parents for our problems and they eventually moved to Bellefontaine and sold us their house. That was in December of 2002.

By August 2003, I was not in love with this man anymore. I could not take the abuse that he caused me. Everyone told me to leave, but I was scared. I was alone, had no money, no place to go, and I refused to go back home.

In September of 2003, my good friend found out she was pregnant and wanted to move out, so we took a day off work, packed all our stuff and moved out of Jason, her house, and into our new safe home.

I found out that he was talking to another girl – from my cousin’s girlfriend who knew her. She thought they were a total couple before I had even moved out. She knew he lived with a girl, but claimed she didn’t know he was engaged and planning to be married the following year. What a lying whore.

*Speaking of her, that is who his current fiancé is and who is living with him now, and mistreating my son when he’s there – she’s been there since the month before I moved out, when she found out I was pg with his baby, saying it was someone else’s, through my whole pregnancy and through all the court shit – she really has no life*

I moved out on September 30, 2003. He begged me, over and over again, that he would change. He loved me SO much, but didn’t realize how much or what he was doing to me until I was gone. If I would only come back he would make it ALL better. Bull F’ING Shit. I’ve heard that before. From one other person and to this day has two children and continues to beat and abuse his girlfriends. So I know not to believe it, I’ve heard it from Jason too, I will stop, I promise, never again. No I don’t think so, I am going to be strong.

Well that didn’t keep me from sleeping with him… I found out I was pregnant on February 6, 2004. I was only a few weeks along at that time. Jason had never wanted children, hated children, and swore upon abortions. That if I ever got pregnant he would make me have an abortion. Plenty of reasons for my hesitation to tell him.

At this time, I was talking to a guy, who I had known many years through my cousin. Me and Marc (the name in my siggy) hit it off great. We dated for a few months. At that time his friend and him were living together and the other guy was getting ready to move back home. My friend who I was living with was getting ready to have her baby and needed more room, so she was moving out. Me and Marc decided to move in together to help each other out. It was great. He was GREAT. More than I could ever ask for in a man. He loved me, was there for me, told me everyday how beautiful I was. I had never had someone like that. Expecially someone who could love you being pregnant with someone else’s child and accepting that child as your own. Marc had an accident when he was young and unable to have children, but claimed Kamden as his own. He was there through everything, the pregnancy, doctors visits, naming Kamden – he picked it, and Douglas is Marc’s dad’s name – Kamden’s middle!!! He was there when I went into labor and even cut the cord. His family was there for Kamden, called him their grandson and everything. Life was GREAT – I was great, Kamden was great, Marc was great and we were all SO happy. Jason asked to come to the hospital the day Kamden was born, but never showed. Said he got too busy to make it. LOL

Then it happened… Marc’s brother was into dealing drugs, small scale, but he still did it. Jason was into that shit too. He had promised me that he didn’t want anything to do with Kamden and would let me and Marc lead our ives with him as our own – as long as I didn’t take him for support. One day he calls, my “BIL” had some stuff he wanted to sell, Jason wanted to buy and resell. Okay fine, I connected the two of them. Un denounced to me, Jason was working under cover for his best bud in the DEA. He made arrangements for my BIL to bring stuff to my house to exchange. He left the stuff, Jason came to pick it up. I was there with Kamden, Marc was still at work. He left my BIL money on the counter, took his stuff, and then handed me $80 – said it was for Kamden. WOW, I was impressed. Someone so tight with there money, and he’s going to help me with his son. Little did I know that that was drug money from the DEA and he admitted on the stand to the grand jury that he paid me that money for drugs. When I didn’t have anything to do with the deal – just happened to be home at my house at the time the bastard showed up. Well the guy he framed, my BIL, along with me. He blamed it on me. Said I set it all up, I wired up on my BIL and framed him to go to prison. *He is scheduled in court next month* Marc moved out in late February of this year. My son (our son) was almost 5 months old and he’s been there for us since I was 5 weeks pregnant. But can you blame him. Since Jason has a big mouth and has blamed me for all of my BIL’s problems, they think I was the one who narced him out.

Jason has caused pain for all of us, cause Kamden to loose Marc, the only father he has known, caused him to loose Marc’s family, and cause me to loose Marc myself.

Jason filed for a DNA test in December 2004, took his test in February 2005 and got his results in March. I knew nothing of this, until the letter scheduling the court date at the child support office. He didn’t exist in Kamdens’ life until he was almost 7 months old. At that time he was given court ordered visitation for Rule 6, after he filed to fight me for full custody. He has never seen the child, nor paid a cent in child support, and the crack headed magistrate gives the bastard visitation, with no support order. That was on April 29th. On May 17th, we went back to court and Jason was awarded shared parenting, week-to-week visitation, with an 8 month old, he had only known a couple of weeks on the weekends. I don’t know what the magistrate was/is thinking – but HOW can he possibly do that and get away with it? We go back on October 7, 2005 for the full custody hearing and to determine whom permanently gets custody of Kamden. Right now I have false drug charges hanging over my head, that that bastard caused – but I’m not be any means an unfit mother. But who’s going to believe an accused felon???

Jason has destroyed our lives and ruined everything. He said he was doing this to hurt me and to get me back for leaving him and being with Marc. That was his goal. I’m not being prosecuted for the charges – just being used against me in the custody case to make me look bad. That was his whole idea from the beginning. What a f’ing loser.

Last week he admitted that Kamden was better off with me most of the time, he just wanted visitation, I agreed with no support. He agreed, we had a meeting with our attorneys set up and his is the biggest asshole alive, totally flew off the handle and wouldn’t let him agree to no visitation, no support. Said he had us right where he wanted us and we had to agree with what they wanted or go back to court.

I get his child support figures – he would owe me $97.00 a month according to HIS attorney. If we have shared parenting. WTF ever. I have $3000.00 I birth medical expenses for Kamden alone. I have raised and supported this child on my own for 8 months. (I had to provide food, clothing, and diapers, during Jason’s rule 6 visitation)(with no support) I pay for all of Kamdens’ medical expenses and pay for his insurance under my company. I pay for his daycare when I have him. My grandmother, but I still pay her. He pays a sitter, almost half of what I do. I used the child support calculations from our site. He makes more than double what I do and pays out less than half. According to the calculators I should get about $500-$600 a month. And he’s telling me $97.00 – where he pulled that out of his ass from is beyond me, but IT AIN’T GOING TO F’ING HAPPEN – that way. I will fight to the bitter end to get my son back. You better believe it.

This is how I became a SINGLE mom – of a beautiful, wonderful, couldn’t ask for more, little boy!!!

Sorry for the book – had to tell all and get some of this off my chest. Thanks, if you made it this far. Love All you guys,
Temeni and Kamden

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My name is Kate and I am 26 yrs old I have been married for 4 yr and separated for 6 months, When I think about it I married for all the wrong reasons, first of all I was too young, I didn't get to live a life the way I wanted, I wanted to rush into adulthood way too fast and I had the whole life planned and I made sure things turned the way I planned just so I don't have to worry about being 30 and single w/ no kids and no house. plus I needed to get out of the house my dad was just too controling of my life. And now look at me, now is the time that I have realize that all the reasons are nonsense I was just to scared of my father and I figured that if I get married it would be my escape after all I was with that guy for 2 yr before we married, but yet it was more like getting out from one trap and getting into the other. I wasn't ready to be a house wife, I am a person who likes to work and go to school to get more education. Yes I am a mother and yes I was and am ready for that. my DD Julia is 2.5 yrs old and she is the best thing that has happed to me. I take the whole experience as a lesson to be learned, to stand up for my self and not to let people tell me what to do and to control me. We all have dreams and goal so why not follow them. I always wanted a family and a house, at age 26 I had it all but I believe that it was just the wrong timing and God has a reason for everything. I believe in faith and I am looking forward to be 30 years old its not as bad was we thought when we were 20 LOL
ex-dh was a little old fashionated the back home style. I hated to iron clothes one time he woke me up 5am to iron his pants and I said that he must be kidding me I turned over and went to sleep next thing I know he is not talking to me for a week because of that, another time I was just too tired and I forgot to make him lunch for work, he called me the next day saying that I don't have to cook or make him lunch anymore that he will do it himself and he thanked me for starving him, again he didn't talk to me for a week. Yet it was ok for him to get High twice a week and on weekend, ok to go to raves and take ecstasy, ok to go fishing on sundays instead of spending time with us. He complained about dinners that they are not as good as his moms. U want to know what I did? I was willing to learn so we moved to his parents house before our house was build for 6 months and I learned some. Of course it wasn't good enough, one time said that I try to poison him because he was having stomach problems instead blaming the drugs blamed me. Then when I left he had no idea why and I was telling him why yet it was like he didn't wanted to accept the fact. One thing that pi**ed me off is that after I left he said that if I would have cooked or at least try he would treat me like a queen. what the f**k u must be kidding me.

Anyways right now Iam seeing a great guy that I know for 14 years ever since elementry school, through the entire high school we went out 3 times but only for one week because we were better off as friends, but we flirted and everybody was mad at us asking why we arent together we would just ignore them. Our sisters were bestfriends and they tried to set us up because they wanted us to get married so they could be in the family lol. Last time I have seen him was when I invited him as my guest to my sisters wedding and we lost touch for 7 years, we met again at his sisters wedding and it was such a wierd feeling seeing him after all those years, well we have kept in touched and resently dating, he is very suportive and because of him I'm stronger everyday.
No body know we are together only my sister and his sister, mom and brother, its too soon and my father would curse me (he's religiouse) that as legaly married I should stay away from men blah blah blah

well this is my story for now, thanks for reading Smile

*edited to add that its been two years now since I left him, I have just now finaly filled for divorce. Julia is 4 years old now and still growing. My BF and I are still together and going strong

UPDATE 2009: wow its been 4years now and I am in a very good place now.....I bought a house and that great guys that I was seeing we are still together engaged and planning a baby so things are looking good....as for the ex well I still hate him and the smallest issues will never end

Joined: 05/25/05
Posts: 8

I just found this board, and although I am not a single mom yet, I will be in January of this year. So here's my story.
I had been dating my fiance for about 5 years. We got engaged right before he left to join the army. He was home for two weeks at the end of April and I got pregnant. He was so excited at first. He wanted to know everything and was even starting to think about names. Well his orders got andvanced, and he found out he was going to be going over to Iraq in November, and wouldn't be back until April at the earliest. I told him that was fine. I knew what it was like to be away from him, and I would deal with it. We were going to get married as soon as he got home. Well at of the blue he decided that he no longer wanted to be a part of my or my sons life, so he told me that we were done, and not to bother calling him anymore. He changed his phone number, e-mail address, and every means I had of communication. I tried calling his family, but they won't talk to me either. I finally found out through his younger sister, that he told everyone that I cheated on him and got pregnant. Completely false! But he's out of the picture and wants absolutly nothing to do with us. So, now I am going to be a single mom in about 4 months, and I've actually gotten used to the idea.

Joined: 07/14/04
Posts: 3

Wow, thought my ex sucked ass...boy was I wrong-he's not the only one!! and you know what? That is sad.

I met Thalia's dad June '03, we started dating in July '03. Everything seemed great-he was very attentive and would stop by during his breaks to see how I was and kiss me or whatever...very sweet. He's Moroccan and I had bever even thought about dating someone from another race until I got a crush on this guy at my former job (he was black) so, that opened the door and my mind to new possibilites.
We were only together roughly 1 month and a half when I found out I was pregnant...I told him when I was 7 weeks and he pretty much told me that I f**ked up his life and he didn't want a family here, blah blah blah. There was someone he was supposed to marry back home and I shouldn't have the baby as a favor to him-can you believe that? As a FAVOR to him?? As favor to me KISS MY ASS. I didn't want to be a single mom but I sure as HELL was not going to have an abortion to make his life easier!! So, he walked away that night. he kept calling me but wouldn't say anything-he did that til I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant. Then one day he called and asked how we were-what the sex of the baby was-I told him a girl-he said he was hoping for a boy??? Are you f**cking kidding me? then he asked if he could see me and my mom freaked out-said he was gonna take me-she's typical mom.
Anyway, he tried to come back and I wasn't interested. I felt that if he could walk away that easily once, how did I know he wouldn't again? He still works in the area and always looks at us when we go for walks (he works not far from my house, which is how I met him-he delivers for a pizza/sub joint-yeah HAHA, I got a delivery, it's a joke around here)
So, I'm a single mom but I have a great girl that I love more than anything and he's the one missing out on being with her, not me!! If he were any kiind of man, he would be here. i figure I'll eventually meet someone that's worth it, ya know??

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I will preface this by saying I was 18 and being rebellious.

I met my ex H in April of 2002, my senior year of high school. We worked part time jobs at Pizza Hut. He was 24 and in the Navy. My mom thought it was cool for me to date him, my date didn't think it should be done. I fell in "love" with him b/c he was everything that my ex boyfriends weren't. Attentive, caring, blah, blah, blah. I managed to get myself kicked out of my parents house in June of 2002 b/c I refused to stop talking to him. My parents gave me the chance to come home but, I was 18 and knew better than them. :roll: July 3 2002 I got married. We started TTC in April of 2003. I FINALLY concieved early Januarary 2004. I had a rather eventful pregnancy including some serious bleeding and a month of bedrest in February. Then, in July Jamie was put in a Mental Hospital after I forced him to go to counseling for some illegal stuff. I told him he either gets couseling or a divorce. He was kicked out of the Navy November 4 2004 just 6 weeks after I gave birth to my beautiful DD. I stuck around and cought him doing the same illegal stuff again in March or April of 2005. I stuck around after he promised it wouldn't happen again.

In July of 2005 Jamie was pretty much neglecting me and Jasmine and using work as an excuse. I would get off work at midnight and I started going to a Yahoo Law Enforcement Chat to wind down after work since I didn't have anyone at home to talk to. I me a man named Phil that was a deputy in AL. We talked one night and added each other to yahoo messenger. We talked on messenger a lot at night after I got off work. He made me realise that I was in a bad relationship. Emotionally my marriage had ended a long time ago. I didn't really have any feelings for my husband any more. I did start having feelings for Phil though. The last week in August I decided to leave Jamie after a long talk with my Aunt.

I told Phil on Friday night that I was going to leave Jamie and he sent me a text message on my cell phone that Jamie found and he came in Saturday morning and asked me what was going on. I told him I wanted a divorce. I felt bad about breaking up Jasmine's family, but looking back, we weren't a family. Jasmine is so much better off without him. Phil moved to Tx Oct 3 and stepped right into the Daddy shoes. He is wonderful with her.

Jamie has seen her a total of about 5 days since I left him in August. I was going to let Jasmine go with Jamie to see his family in SC but I got a bad vibe so I didn't let her go. His Mom threatened to come to TX and get him a lawyer so that he can get full custody of Jasmine. I guess she doesn't realise that he never sees her. He has access to her everyday of the week other than on my days off. He never goes over to see her, he never gets her diapers or food or anything. He hasn't spent $100 on her including her birthday since I left him. Phil has acutally spent more on her that her Bio dad I think.

So anyways, you live, you learn.

Joined: 06/05/06
Posts: 1

I met my ex through my twin brother. they were BF, until my bro moved back home. i dated my ex for three months nad i ended up pregnant, and now he lives 13 hours away and doesnt seen to intrested in me and the baby only about partying. i feel alone too because mpst of my friends have ditched be except this guy named tony, who im kinda seeing. im living at home with my parents and im 20 yrs old, finishing school.

Joined: 08/05/05
Posts: 1

Okay well I guess it's my turn to tell my story!

I met my ex-boyfriend (we'll call him M) at my 19th birthday party in August 2001. We used to have so much fun together. We used to both drink and loved to party. We got along so well. For about 2 years we were pretty happy together, and our families loved us also, thought we would marry some day. Well...in about December of 2003 he was working out of town and became distant. He just wouldn't pay much attention to me anymore, and wasn't interested in what was going on back in town where we both lived. I met another man during that time (who we can call D), and we really hit it off. I didn't start seeing him or anything, but there was interest.
On Christmas Eve 2003 M broke up with me because I went to my aunt's house instead of his mom's for dinner. Stupid reason, right? Anyhow, we didn't talk for about a week after that so I assumed we were still broken up. I ended up hooking up with D. Big mistake. Besides that fact that he was a maniac loser - it caused severe problems between M and I. M started using drugs, which I didn't know about at that point. We ended up getting back together. If he were to tell you this story he would say that we were never broken up...
Fast forward to April 2005. M tells me he needs help because he's been using drugs for the past 2 years and can't stop. He's ruined his credit, and losing his house. I felt like such an idiot that I didn't know. I knew that we had problems and fought a lot, but had no idea he was an addict. I found out I was pregnant in June 2005. I told M he needed to get clean or wouldn't be part of our lives. He ended up going to 30 day rehab in September / October 2005. He stayed 21 days and felt that was good enough. Relapsed over Christmas 2005. Went back to rehab January 2006. He got out on January 20 2006, and moved into a half-way house on Jan 25 2006. I had Abigail a week later, January 31, 2006.
Anyhow, I'm a hopeless dreamer and thought that we could work it out if we both tried hard enough. We had rented a townhouse together In November, during a moment of his soberness (although it is in my name since his credit is ruined). We moved into it together when he got out of the halfway house in mid April. Well by the end of May I couldn't handle it anymore. We did nothing but fight and he was always calling me names and yelling at me. I didn't think it was good for Abigail.
So now, I've moved in with my parents, and the rental people are supposed to be trying to re-rent the townhouse, however since I have a lease I am technically responsible for rent through the end of November. M won't help with rent because his name isn't on the lease. He now wants partial custody. He really is pretty good with Abigail, however he just doens't know her needs like I do. I can't help it, I'm her mother. I want to be with her all of the time. I was born to be her mom. M wasn't even there through my whole pregnancy and even doubted that she was his until he saw her. She is undeniably his. First of all, I know who I've been with. Second, she looks just like him... he doesn't really question it anymore.

Anyhow, there really is so much more, as I'm sure there is to all of our stories. I really wish things could have worked out between her father and I...but he's not the same person I fell in love with. And to be honest, I don't think he's capable of love anymore...he sure doesn't act like it.

So here I am. With Abigail. She's all I need. She's my whole world. (Although I will admit that I do hope that I find a man someday who will love me and her as if she were his own.)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I never posted my story either...oops.

Short version.

I met my almost ex husband in August '99. Got pg 2 weeks later. Baby #1 was born in May '00, we were married in June '00. Had babies #2 and 3...things were okay. Got pg with #4 about 4 days after my first prenatal visit he drops the "I don't love you" line. Told me he was seeing someone else.

They're now living together and are engaged...6 hours away. He sees the kids 4 or 5 times a year for a week each time...the occasional weekend, if he's feeling like it.

I've been dating for about a year now...it's going well. I just don't like being tied up with the court system.

MamaEi's picture
Joined: 06/18/02
Posts: 19

t h e m a m a s o n l i n e . c o m

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I met AD my senior year of high school and we started dating around graduation and continued when I went away to college. I lost my virginity to him in March of 96 on spring break and was pregnant in June. He stuck by me, he even asked me to marry him which I declined since I didn't want to start off like that, and Ellie was born in March of 97. Unfortunately I was a mess and just not in a good place emotionally or mentally and we broke up shortly after that but he remained my best friend until he met his wife. We're still friends, just not the call each other and talk for hours kind.

He's a wonderful father who voluntarily pays cs every month without ever having gone to court. Ellie talks to him on the phone at least once a week and he makes sure he never misses his every other weekend visitation. He goes to all her school meetings and events and is just great. Nothing has changed even since he and his wife had their first child in March.

After Ellie's dad I dated other guys but never good ones. After a particularly devastating breakup I rebounded with my old on again/off again high school boyfriend. He seemed so safe that when he propsed shortly after we began dating I accepted. As I was starting to realize I was making a mistake I made another one by having sex with him (we were going to wait until we were married). Just when I decided I was going to call everything off I found out I was pregnant. I called it off anyway and he got his revenge by dropping off the face of the planet. The last time I talked to him was when I gave him the "your kid was born" courtesy call. Risa turned 3 in May and has never met her father.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I met SD at work. We were both 2nd level Tech Support reps for a cell phone mfg. He started a few months after I did and I hated him... in fact, most everyone on the team disliked him because he came in with a chip on his shoulder and thinking that he knew more than the rest of us. Turns out that he was friends with my friend, "N". They had just gotten an apartment together. N and I were fairly close, too. We talked a lot between calls about everything under the sun! He was going thru a divorce and it was hurting his kids and he was extremely distraught. I was trying to help him and we talked a lot. On Valentine's Day, 2003 we were talking about how awful it was that we were alone. He invited me back to his apartment for some beer and to play darts. I asked if S was gonna be there and was told that he wasn't so, I said okay. We got there and S was there. I told N that I was going to leave but S promised to be on his best behavior. Besides, playing darts is more fun with 3 people. So, I stayed. I got WAY drunk. So did S. So did N.

So, the night passed and we were all pretty wasted. N said he was going to sleep and if I wanted to, I could sleep on the couch cuz it was so late and I was so drunk. I said, "Cool." S came and sat down next to me. Said that I didn't have to sleep on the couch and that I could have his room. Since I was so drunk I said, "Sure." DUMB MISTAKE. I shouldn't have, but we all know that alcohol makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. Besides, he told me that he was sterrile so, what could it hurt, right?

Well, long story short, a few weeks later I started getting sick and throwing up a LOT. I knew immediately that i was pregnant but bought the test anyway. Right away the second line showed up. I threw the test across the bathroom while screaming expletives. I took the second one 'just to be sure' and did the same thing again.

Then, I called N. N freaked out that I slept with S and told me that S would never ever support the kid and that i should just abort it. Nope, not gonna happen, I told him. N told S that I was pg and S said just what N did. Said that he couldn't afford a kid and that I'd BETTER abort it. Nope, not gonna happen.

A few months later (3 years next week) he got fired from our job. He went to work at the hospital where I wound up giving birth to K. I was so scared that he would be able to get into the nursery and hurt her, that I wouldn't let her near it. I kept her with me at ALL times. I ended up with a killer case of PPD. I was shell-shocked and didnt' know what to do. and had to move to Orlando to be with my folks so they could help me with her. It was like I'd never been around babies before.

So, here I am now... raising K with the help of my parents because S. is a typical SD.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hi, My name is Heather. I'm 25 and recently seperated. My husband is Luke (also 25). We've been together since we were in middle school (age 13)
We got married 5 years ago in May. We were both very happy. We started TTC shortly after and it took awhile but then we had our son in Sept. 03. Thinkg were still great. We joined the Catholic church together, we were very close. We then had DD in August of 05. She was also planned and things were still great when we were TTC her.
When I was pregnant with Addie things started to get just a little off track. This is when Luke started hanging out with his single friends a lot more and going out to bars and such. IT wasn't a huge problems because we still did things together and really the biggest issue I had with it at that time was the money being spent.
After Addie was born it got worse. He would take spells where he was going out a lot more often but I still didn't think he had any intentions of leaving us, just thought he was feeling overwhelmed with how our family had changed so drastically.

In January of this year though, when Addie was 5 months old) Luke was on a different shift at work where he got off at midnight. He would go out after that and not come home until SUPER late or early the next morning. Then after about 2 weeks of that he told me he wanted to seperate and get a divorce. He moved in with his sister for literally a couple days before he came back home. He was promising how everything was going to be different and how he knew all of our problems were his fault because he wasn't being the father and husband he should've been, etc. He even wanted to go to marriage counseling. He promised he was done going to the bars and everything was going to be different.
It was great for a couple months. Like we were newlyweds again. Then slowly he started going back to the bar again. At first it was just after work for a drink or two but he would still be home by dinnertime so I tried to over look it then it got to be more and more. Then the last two weeks before he left he probaly went out 5 or 6 times to where he stayed out till the bar closed before coming home. Even though he started doing this again he kept saying he wasn't wanting to leave again he was just hanging out with his friends.
He left on tuesday. He even planned for us to go on a camping trip and to a Nascar race the weekend before he left. We had a good time and while we were there he was talking about how he wanted to take me to a different race the following spring and how he was looking forward to our St. Augustine trip next April. He showed me no reason to think he was really thinking of leaving, except him going out again more.
Then when he came home from work the following Tuesday he was being really distant to me and finally I just asked him if he was thinking of leaving and he said yes. He wasn't happy here anymore and he just didn't want to be married anymore. He loves me but isn't in love with me.
It's so hard because I really didn't think he felt this way. He still told me he loved me and kissed and hugged me, our sex life was normal and good (at least a couple times a week, which he usually initiated).
He went to stay with his sister and it will be two weeks tomorrow.
I still can't believe this is happening. He isn't even showing the slightest bit of hesitation. Not giving it a second thought. I can't believe how easy it is for him to just throw everything we've had away.
He comes from a rough background and a family history of alcoholism, depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. I hope that none of that takes over him.
Of course I wonder if there is someone else. I don't think he specifically is leaving me because he is in love with someone else but I do think that he is maybe seeing other people or met someone. I think he just wants the option without feeling guilty. I always told him that I hoped if he ever felt like he would cheat on me to just leave me and not put me through that. So maybe that's what he did. I don't know. He swears there isn't anyone else and that it's just he wasn't happy being married anymore. He doesn't understand why everyone just doesn't get that.

So anyways, that's my story. I work at home so I don't get the oppurtunity to meet people and I'm scared to death to be single for the rest of my life. Of course I'm not wanting to start dating anytime soon since this is all new but I can't help but to think about it. All I ever wanted out of life was to be married and have a family. I still hope I find that with someone, even if it isn't Luke.

Joined: 02/09/06
Posts: 3

Well, I guess I'll post my story too. Man aren't these fathers unbeliveable though? All I can think while reading this was selfish, selfish, selfish!!!

I met Jay (SD) back in May of 1998. he was SO charming at first, so into me. I came from a rough background, was only 18, had been on my own for over a year but just lost my apartment. I was homeless and carless and jobless and really at my lowest. He said I could stay with him and, within a week, I was living there. Once he knew that I needed him, things changed. He was VERY possessive, very abusive and there were a couple of physical moments. There were lots of drugs around and he promised me he "lost it" b/c of them. He had family in Alabama and Florida and begged me to stay with him and move there. He claimed that things in Massachusetts never worked for him and that he needed to get out.

I went. I packed my whole life up in a HUGE bag and took off with him at 18. We had only been together for about three months. My family and friends were freaking but, then again, where were those people when I was sleeping in my car? He loved me enough to care for me, so I should go, right??? WRONG!

It took him about 4 weeks before he was so abusive I had no choice but run. We were in Alabama, I new no one, had little money, no transportation. I was able to get my stuff out and took a LONG bus ride to Florida to my aunts house. Soon after I had to worst craving to GO HOME. I did and found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant.

Jay came back up north when he learned this and wanted to have a family. I figured I owed my unborn son that much and tried. We slept together once, I was almost 6 months along, and I caught a very treatable, but pregnancy-damaging, STD. I spent the rest of my pregnancy on bedrest and in hospitals and I left Jay then. I knew he had cheated, he couldn't deny it and that was the end. Because of his drug use, he had court supervised visits with Alex starting when he was 9 months old until he was about three. Since then, he has settled down, had two more children and got married. I really like her a lot, she is great to my son and her kids are a lot of fun. I baby-sit them often. Its nice to see Alex be a big brother.

When Alex was three, I got together with Andy, my SO now. We've been together over 4 years now and it has been rocky, at best. We are happy now, finally settled in to our relationship and he has grown up A LOT! Money issues forced us to live with my mom but we are close to finding our own place. I am still nervous of our future but we are trying our best. Alex loves him so much.

Thats my story!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Guess i'll add mine now.
Met xh Nov of 99. Moved in with him Dec 99. Found out i was pg Dec 31,99. Everyone pushed us to get married. Got married April 00. Found out a week before hand that it was a boy. EDD was Aug 24.
I was induced Sept 4,00 (labor day). My epi didnt work, ds heart rate dropped no time i fix it. I was 9 to 9.5 cm and was basically told to push now. Ds was born 6lbs 14 oz 19 1/4 inches.
Feb 01 (just a few days after Dale Earnhardt Sr was killed) I started working again. My first night back xh decided he was going out with a friend (my best friend a female) i told him he needed to stay home and help me with a teething baby. I just worked 8 hours he could help. We got into an argument and he left. So i left after that.
Found out a few days later they where sleeping together (could never confirm when it started).
Xh and the witch tried to get custody of ds. I had a few friends even testify for the xh (people i had known for year before i even met xh) and other friends that where there for him and none for me. (havent talked to any of them more then a few handfuls of times, dont need friends like them).
Met dh Sept 01. He moved in with me at my parents house in Jan 02. My divorce was finale May 02. Dh and i got married Aug 02.

thats the short version of the last few years.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

looks like i may be going 0-2 on life. Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

We were both 18 when we got married in 1986. We waited 7 years to start having children- I put him through architecture school during that period. We had 3 perfect children. When my son was 18 months old, my ex told me he had met a woman and thought he was in love. I had put up with 15 years of lies and turmoil and the fact that he was leaving me really pissed me off. He spent the next 6 months trying to get back together with me but the thought of it made me want to vomit. I spent 5 years of my life fighting with him in court over support and custody. One day it just stopped (maybe because my new love wouldn't let my ex push us around). He pays child support regularly but hasn't seen the kids since Oct 05. I recently married a man 12 years younger than me (we have lived together for almost 3 years) and a week after our wedding I gave birth to our son who is almost 5 months old. Life is wonderful now but for a long time I didn't feel I could go on...at times it was just too much heartache for my children and I. Parents, stay hopeful- life always gets better if you just stay the course Smile

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 3

Quick background since I'm new.

Dated R for 2 yrs, got pregnant dec '02. R got violent, into drugs and partying. R sent me to hospital w/ concussion and spinal injury. I left him, sent him to jail, he then got off scott-free. Had Tod on 9-16-03. Turned 19 nov '03.

2002 - Started dating C. Went camping w/ mutual friends out-of-state in april. C slipped something in my drink, and slipped into my tent after I was passed out cold. I found out the next morning, broke up w/ him and drove home. Tada I'm pregnant. Cops say I have no case. C goes to jail for the same thing 2 months later. Janae is born 1-12-07. I turned 22 nov '06.

Single mother of two at age 22 and this is by the ONLY 2 people I've ever dated. Wow isnt this a lovely world. I'm never dating again.

Just Me, Tod and Janae

dreamer212's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 3

*edited*

Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 1

Im pregnant right now and im about to be a single mom in like 7 months. It wasn't a choice to be a single mom at first. My baby's dad just one was there for me so well and then i ended up in the hospital due to the pregnancy and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. This all happened a week ago. Im really scared but ill make it. Thats my story!

Joined: 05/08/07
Posts: 1

so i dated my ex for about 3 & 1/2 years before we mutually decided to end the relationship last year. and despite the fact that it was mutual, i was still pretty upset and even now am still in love with the jack ass. so in an effort to get over the jack ass, i started partying my ass off almost every night of the week, drinking to point of blacking out. on one such night i had a one night stand. most of the details of that night are pretty fuzzy, however, i do know that i defintly conceived that night b/c i hadnt been with anyone before or after said event.

so i am going to be a single mama in a most definte way. no child support, no baby daddy. just me and the lil one (gender unknown!) well, to be fair my parents too. they know the whole story and are being massively supportive.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

"winterlily" wrote:

so i dated my ex for about 3 & 1/2 years before we mutually decided to end the relationship last year. and despite the fact that it was mutual, i was still pretty upset and even now am still in love with the jack ass. so in an effort to get over the jack ass, i started partying my ass off almost every night of the week, drinking to point of blacking out. on one such night i had a one night stand. most of the details of that night are pretty fuzzy, however, i do know that i defintly conceived that night b/c i hadnt been with anyone before or after said event.

so i am going to be a single mama in a most definte way. no child support, no baby daddy. just me and the lil one (gender unknown!) well, to be fair my parents too. they know the whole story and are being massively supportive.

And I love you, too!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 05/30/07
Posts: 1
My soap opera

Ok here goes...
I met my sons father way back in high school, he was my brothers best friend and a part of our adopted family. We started to see each other in 05 after he moved back home after leaving the military. Everything was going great until that dreaded day. When I told him that I was pregnant, he kind of agreed that we would see the pregnancy through. Well thats where the fairy tale ends! :blowup:
He disappeared soon after and was gone through the entire pregnancy (even though I was on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy for 5 months). He decided to show up a few weeks before my son was born and said that he wanted to be there for the birth, ok cool no prob. HA that was a joke, I called him when I went to the hospital and he didnt show up until the next day...his excuse, he fell asleep!
For the next 5months of my sons life, he saw him maybe 6 times. Then in Oct 2006 he disappeared all together. Needless to say he has not helped out one red cent and I am taking him to court.

ricalynnand's picture
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 2

My Novella: I'll try to keep it simple, the connections need a road-map

SD and I actually met in HS, some 16 :shock: years ago. He was actually my first, which may explain why it was so easy to fall back into bed w/him. Several years later, I learned he had married my friend's SIL (whom I've always thought was a total slag) and ADOPTED her two boys. By all accounts he's been a great dad to these kids -- a little strict in the discipline dept, but trust me, they needed it.

FF to 18 months ago, when she cheated on him and kicked him out. In a weak moment, I agreed to accompany him to his company Xmas party (the food was great) and it all went downhill from there. I guess I took him on as my "project" and supported him thru a very difficult separation, w/her not allowing him to see his kids and generally being a total beotch. We were together for 8 months when I found out I was pg. His first comment? "I really don't need this right now." And I did?

I got no emotional support whatsoever from him, so I knew it was time to move on. I did however gain an ally in his mom, for whom this is her only grandchild. She has been a fabulous source of support, and that's probably why he is so reluctant to talk to her now (neither of us has heard from him in weeks) I continue to kill him w/kindness, making sure he knows it's HIS choice that he's not involved w/her -- I do not and will not prevent him from seeing her IF HE ASKS. The only time he's done that so far was Mother's Day, of all things. So, since he didn't ask for Father's Day, I'm assuming he doesnt' want to be a father.

Joined: 06/21/07
Posts: 2

I'll begin by saying that I am 27 years old and I am a doctor and I am 33 weeks pregnant. I just happened to make one poor decision which put me in the position that I am today.
I met my baby's daddy (that sounds so white trash...I'll stick with sperm donor) at work. We got along but we didn't, if that makes ANY sense at all. What we had was mainly a physical attraction. He asked me to go with him to a hockey game one night, and I am a HUGE hockey fan and the seats were great, which led us to my apartment...
We never really discussed what happened because I was on birth control so the possibility of me becoming pregnant was slim. Being a doctor, I should have realized that it CAN happen. But we carried on our normal work relationship until I found out that I was pregnant. I am pro-choice but I personally could never get an abortion. I gave him the choice of becoming involved in our child's life, and he decided that he wouldn't be a "suitable" father and waived all rights. He's offered to help us financially, but I declined because I make enough money to raise a child and I felt that if he chose to not help in any other aspect of our (my?) child's life, he didn't have the right to help support her financially.
So here I am, a 27 year old doctor, pregnant and preparing to raise a child alone because of one decision. I can't say that it was a mistake because I already love my baby more than anything else. Even though I am disappointed that my baby girl will not know her biological father, I am happy that he was honest enough to tell me the truth than make our child suffer.

Joined: 06/21/07
Posts: 2

--DOUBLE POST, SORRY--

lilolme2105's picture
Joined: 07/25/06
Posts: 11
Single mommy

Well ill be 21 next month and im a single mommy to a beautiful baby boy Shane. It all started when i was hanging out with an old friend and i met her best friend ( Shanes father). I fell head over heels over him and we were together almost every weekend since he was in the Army and only came down on weekends to see his first son.... yeah i know..... he left for Iraq and 2 weeks later BAM i found out i was pregnant.... He was texting me on my phone and so i told him to call me as soon as he could and he tells me cant so i just told him through the text that i was pregnant.... he replies... these are his exact words "I can't afford another baby right now...." WTF all i asked him was to be involved that was it... no money... no anything... THAT was the last thing he ever said to me,i went through my whole pregnancy without him he has not seen Shane once.... and he is engaged to another girl... SPIFFY HUH? So right now we are going to court because i want that child support... All i do is go to school and stay with Shane at my moms cause i cant afford my own place. It really hurt me cause what he did to me and his son... but what can u do.... thats my story it was great reading all of urs!!!! Smile

GTMom's picture
Joined: 08/17/07
Posts: 2

Long story short...young single mom of baby falls in love with older established man. Stays at home and plays mommy and housewife while attending school of and on with hopes of one day having a not very family oriented career-according to man. Quits school, regrets it forever.
Gets really sick, gets a lifesaving organ transplant, child begins school and stay at home mommy is really resentful and constantly misses her "dream" even though shopping all day and traveling is the "good life" according to most. (It's not, money doesn't buy happiness). Miserable, bored mommy re-enrolls in school taking a slightly different route but in the same area of study. Mommy finishes school. Mommy has a true wake up call when dream man disagrees with what Mommy is going to be when she grows up and he says ugly things that burn a hole through her. Mommy is a prove ya wrong type of girl........so here I am~proud to be an ACNP specializing in critical care~and a Mommy, too! Who says you can't have it all!
In the working world I met a man with whom I have fun, laugh and suddenly don't feel "arranged to" (I always felt my marriage was of arranged or convienient per say). We also work in the same field. Now here I am single mommy to a pre-teen and well-the product of a tubal gone wrong.
That's my story. Of course with everyday new events unfold and it only gets more dramatic as the days go by.
I'm glad to see some familiar faces here. I only post on this board now for personal reasons. But I'm happy to have you familiar people who I've known since the start of this site around!

Joined: 02/24/06
Posts: 1
Bio

I met my daughter's father about a year after I had graduated college. I was working my first "real" job at the local newspaper in the advertising department. Lets just say I was celebrating my freedom after completing 17 years of school (including preschool), and going out to the bars every night, partying every weekend.

I met Jed through mutual friends at a bar where we were all hanging out one night. Instant attraction. I went for Super***** of the year and slept with him on the second date. He moved into my place because my roommate and I needed someone to fill the extra room. I ended up sleeping in there most nights, and eventually we just became a couple. Maybe it was the combination of our *ahem* sexually and chemically liberal lifestyle, but I was head-over-heels for him.

After 6 months he proposed to me, and I accepted the ring. About 2 months after that we were offered the opportunity to go down the New Orleans and help with the rebuilding/relief process. Jed is a roofer, and I have worked general construction, so I quit my office job and packed everything we owned.

We lived in a tent for the first few months we were down there, and I was on birth control, so I wasn't worried about getting pregnant. However, in Post-Katrina Lousiana, there are few Planned Parenthoods open, and I started skimping on my pills. I found out I was pregnant on Halloween, 2005. Scariest day of my life.

I worked on the jobsite during the first few weeks of my pregnancy. I had morning sickness, and felt horrible, which I think made all the southern good 'ole boys uncomfortable, because eventually they stopped giving me work. In fact they stopped paying Jed and me all together. My savings from my newspaper job ran out, and we were broke. The job fell apart. Our boss pretended he wasn't getting paid, so he didn't pay us, and kept all our money.

We dragged ourselves home to Colorado, me 5 months pregnant and both of us so far in debt, we didn't see a way out. We moved in with his parents, and I worked pizza delivery and temp jobs while he started his own subcontrated roofing company. We barely had enough money to pay our bills, and my grandfather gave us a "pre-wedding present" so we could finally pay first/last/deposit on a little cabin in the next town, 30 miles away.

I kept up with my temp job until Stinky Pants was born. Then I was a stay-at-home mom for 3 months while Jed "supported" us. Basically he got us so behind on our rent and his bills that I went back to work part time, bringing Baby Bear with me.

We had started fighted a lot, mostly about money, loss of sleep, stress, you know- things you FIGHT about when you have a kid. I thought we could work through them. I tried to ignore his constant criticism of my abilities as a housewife, mother and parter. How the dishers weren't clean enough, the floor was always covered in baby toys, the laundry was always dirty..etc.. It was only when I had a few drinks in me that I let him have it. Cowardly and pathetic huh?

One night we got into it bad. He shoved me out the door, and when I went to bed, he picked up the matress and dumped me onto the floor. I moved out a few weeks after that, after he said we should have a "break." We still weren't married at this point.

I sucked it up and moved in with my mother, shaming myself. I got a full time job as an assistant at the school district, and put Sweety into daycare. I hardly saw Jed after that, though we both had agreed that we should make weekly dates to make sure we "worked on" our relationship. He never showed up to any dates we made. I kept giving him chances.

He didn't show up for his daughter's first birthday. He never stopped by to see me at my Mom's. I think he saw Baby Bear a total of 8 times over the last 9 months. I started thinking he was just too much of a pussy to get the balls and tell me he didn't want to be with me anymore. He wanted the easy way out.

About a month ago, he tells me that "He never loved me the way I loved him" and his feelings weren't as strong as mine were. I told him he needs serious mental help, if he can live with someone for over 2 years and NOT have feelings for them. I told him that it didn't matter the excuses he gave me, because his daughter will grow up to see her dad is a deadbeat, and complete loser, and that's his punishment.

I have my own place now, and I love my job. I have a great daycare, and my self-esteem is no longer comparible to a wet rag. My daughter is growing beautifully, and I can't wait to see the awesome person she becomes. Her dad is the last thing on my mind. Who needs men like that? They are one in a million, sadly, but you live and learn right?

mummytobesoon's picture
Joined: 04/18/06
Posts: 59

My story is long and dramatic so Ill try to keep it as sort and drama free as possible...

I met Autumns dad Mark completly random at this event I went to monthly. He was soo cute! and he asked me to coffee! we had coffee over and over and over for 3 months and then we started having sex. I was on the pill- have been since I was 14- hang me out of an airplane upside down and Id remember to take my pill at the same time everyday! 4 months later Mark moved in with me he was wonderful- truely wonderful. He was also playing a game... free place to live- food in the belly- house keeping to an extent lol. Anyway.. in March of 06- I finally got tired of havin a stomach bug that I had had for 3 weeks. I went to the Doctor- he asked if I was pregnant- I said I doubt it- I take my pills- but I am having sex...... he decided to do a test to be sure.... 15 minutes later I got to see a pink peice of paper that said "Positive" beside hcg- I was pregnant at 17.
When I told Mark he took it badly... but got over it quickly.. we moved from Calgary *big city* to a town called Olds *hour away* in April with my parents. My 18th birthday he proposed- I declined and instead the ring became a promise to be engaged since I didnt want him marrying me kuz Im pregnant. Shortly after that he started to become abusive- started small "dont see this person dont see that person" "your not REALLY wearing that are you"
mark also has problems with his temper, drug and alcahol abuse. In August of 06, it got REALLY bad during a camping trip where he almost hit my *at the time* 15 year old sister.... I told him to leave.
I feel for his BS and let him move back in in October of 06.
I had autumn Nov 11.
the poor quality of parenting- and partnership from Mark is a LONG list!
On december 28 06- Mark lost his temper again and shook autumn around like a rag doll telling me to take her so he could "punch that **** in the teeth" refering to my sister...

Ive been a single mom since- and I LOVE IT. I may complain once inawhile- but it truely is an amazing experiance Id never trade for the world. She is 13 months old- incredibly smart and beautiful. and I am her mom- I will be 20 in May.

Joined: 01/02/07
Posts: 6

Hi there. I am an unwed single mom. I was divorced last August. I TTC for 8 years and had finally given up that it wouldnt happen for me...and was ok with that. I met SD in November of 2007...he was kinda cute...but way tall (i love tall men and he is 6'6")...so i went out with him. he seemed sweet so we started dating....lasted two weeks. after we separated we had 'convenience' sex. that was the weekend i got pregnant. after i found out i told him. he was ok...then mad...then ok...then mad. accused me of trying to trap him (yeah, his broke, no money no assets self...what did i want...his xbox???) anywho, he suggested an abortion, I told him no. I then gave him the option to leave...no paternity test...no responsibility...but no rights. This would be MY child and MY child alone...and he left. Twice he's asked for another chance...and both times hes screwed up within 48 hours....so thats how I'm becoming a single mama....LO is due this August. Smile

TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
Joined: 12/26/05
Posts: 1147

Long story short, I am 23 I have 2 kids (4 and under) and my DH died at the age of 33 of an accidental Methadone overdose.

DarkestMoment's picture
Joined: 12/10/07
Posts: 5

Ok so I saw this and thought I would explain my story. It's not as bad as most but its still mine.

I'll start at the beginning. After finishing my GCSEs I went to college in Cambridge, while there I went on a trip with the RAF and shattered my foot. This lead to me having to quit college as I lived over an hour away and couldn't get there every day. After quitting that I started another course a little closer to home. A meet a friend there, who introduced me to his best mate (the ex) one night while we were all down the pub. Needless to say nothing happened then.

A few months later I went into work one day. Went and sat in out canteen, and bumped into this guy again (ex) we got talking and arranged to meet up one night.

So we went from being nothing to friends to together really fast. By the time we had been together a month I had a falling out with my mum. I moved into his place with his mum and brothers for two months. We had to move out of there after that as his mum was leaving the house. She claimed she wanted nothing more to do with the kids. His dad was moving back in to take care of my ex's brothers. So we made upwith my mum and moved back in with her.

Within a month of being at my mum's I was pregnant. My little girl was due at the end of may.

Things were fine al through the pregnancy. Neither of us could have been much happier. Jen was born on 28th of April, just 2 days before my 18th birthday.

We had to be moved out of my mums pretty quick due to some things that happened when I was younger. The place wasn't safe for a baby girl. The social services paid for us to stay in a bed and breakfast for 2 months. Not exactly ideal. One room... three people.... no space and a lot of arguments.

After being there we were moved into a mobile home type thing. Which doesn't sound glamourous but it is far better than having just one room.

Things then took a turn for the worst. i had been suffering with black outs and seziures for a long time so my ex gave up workto look after us. This was probably the worst thing to happen. We where constantly in each others way and the arguments got worse; all day every day. Occasionally we turned physical, both of us so neither is to blame.

This is when I said I had enough. I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I wanted him to leave. He did.

He got himself a job and is back living with family. He see our daughter on a regular basis.

Things were fine.

He then decided it would be a good idea to ring social services again. And try to rip my life apart. I had to disclose everything that happened when I was a kid to my mum and the rest of the family in an attepmt to be able to keep my daughter. I couldn't bear to lose her... she is everything to me. My family are now ripped apart. My mum is suffering and so am I. The guilt and things of keeping things secret is destroying me. For my mum, its the feeling that she failed as my mother to protect me.

I left my home for a few days to get away from it all and get my head straight and to just take a break. So this is where I am now. Sitting at the computer over 3 hours away from it all. I plan to go home this afternoon and try to put my life back on track. Sort a lot of things out and start to think of the future for me and my daughter.

I think thats about it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hmmmm could of sworn I posted my story but I guess I didnt.

First my dd's sd.

I met Chad originally through my best friend. We all worked for walmart in 2005. We hung out off and on in 2005 but I really didnt know him. Fast forward to late March 2006. I had just moved back. Chad & I started talking over the internet because the same friend that introduced us the year before gave him my sn. The next night I went to the bar with him. We talked all night about everything & like there was noone else around us. From then we were constantly with each other. We moved in together and things were great. Late April I got pregnant even though I was told I couldnt. I find out on May 20th(my best friends sons 3rd birthday) and I tell him. He seemed okay with it. We broke up in June or July because he couldnt handle me being pregnant. I end up in the ER and he shows up after drunk as all get out and tries to start a fight with me. I kick him out of my room. That was the night he went and cheated on me. We were apart about a week. Then we get back together. We fought constantly and things go down hill. He cheats on me again in late August early September. Happy birthday to me. We break up for good in September. I end up going into labor late Jan 11th. End up at the hospital early Jan 12 on the way there I call Chad and tell him were goin to the hospital. 6 people other then the nurses and dr are all there and are there when I have Trinity. He saw her a total of 3.5 hrs in 8 months then moved in and out of my house and our lives from Sept 07 to Feb 08. Things go south and we haven’t seen him since Feb. Since he has a prior c/s order I barely get anything in c/s.

My ds's sd

Late Feb I meet John through a girl I worked with at the time. Things go good for awhile it was quick but we got engaged and planned on getting married. We get a house together and he looses his job after we were there about 2 weeks. Then he starts messing around and a lot of lies doesn’t keep a job very long and we are constantly fighting. Early May I find out Im pregnant yet again. Things settled a bit but it finally got to the point where we had no money for rent or anything I wasn’t working(he told me I could stay home and take care of Trinity) so I ended it and moved back in with my parents. Things have finally settled. Noone is calling me trying to include me in their bs. Im due Jan 21st. 9 days after Trinitys 2nd birthday. John doesn’t call me or try to get anything for Taylor. Found out Sept 17th that it’s a boy. After he is born and I can go back to work Im getting a job as soon as I can (noone will hire a pregnant woman) so we can move out soon to. He leaves me alone now because he has a gf or something.

singlemomoftwo's picture
Joined: 09/29/08
Posts: 12
Where do I start....

BD #1
My age 20-22

I met him right after I moved to Mississippi in 00'. I moved in the day after we met(I know bad idea) things were good even though some drugs (pot) was involved we broke up few months later. I found out I was pg right after that. He denied it was his. Then agreed it was and then he pulled a disappearing act not to be heard from again. I had a hard time w/ just me and DD. When she was about one(02) I had bad depression. It was decided (by family not me) to give her to my Aunts SIL for adoption.

BD #2
My age 22-28

I met my soon to be ex-h in July 02' we had a worldwin romance after dating a few months found out I was pg again. It drug up bad emotions about last time. I started bleeding few days after I found out. They told us it was a m/c so we went home to morn.. Three wks later I went in for a check up found out I was pg, but here is the catch we hadnt DTD since before the m/c. It turns out I was pg w/ twins one was detected early on the other wasnt. The early one was the one I miss carries. So it turned out I was still pg. Well me and ex got married, bought a house, and had a baby all in the same year(03').
FF to 2007 thing got bad we split he got DS and I got DS every other weekend.
FF>>> In late Feb. of 08' my ex was arrested. I got DS back and moved in with SIL in June 08'. He took a plea in the last part of 08' so he is gone for a good while. In the mean time I met someone else....

BD #3
My age 28-present

I met SO in Aug/Sept. We hit it off right away we hanged out alot he treated my DS great. Then one day when I had a feeling that all wasnt right I took a pg test late at night it said pregnant was in denial then took another one few hours later right before work (which I had to be there @ 4 am) another pregnant pops up. I was like "Why now after 5yrs". So I told SO he stuck around took awhile to be comfy with it. We where done w/ having kids when this one snuck in. But he is sticking by us. We have about 10 wks to go until this one is born Due May 18, 2009. And I am getting fixed!!!

I know a really F***** situation. But, I have the best part of them.

Hope to get know you all.

Joined: 01/11/09
Posts: 2

I'm Lara, 23, preggo with my first.

I met the father at the job I was recently laid off from. We were immidiate friends, I sat in the desk that used to be his, thats how we met. We'd smoke together, lunch together, hang out after work a bit. He is a single dad, has 4 kids, two of which live with him full time. He's 30.

We started hanging out nights after the kids were in bed, eventually we decided we were dating. It was the best relationship I had been in, in so long. Almost three months into it, and a few days after I had been laid off I realised I was preggo. Tested twice, positive.

Telling someone with 4 kids you're pregnant isn't easy. He didn't take it well. We started fighting and he grew distant. He knew I wasn't on birth control, because I don't like how sick it makes me. He still put up a big fight about using a condom. Turns out the night it mattered was another one of those nights I lost the fight. Silly as it is, I really didn't think I'd end up pregnant.

We both lost our jobs, he found a new one right away, I'm still looking. He stopped taking me out, stopped having time for me. Stopped kissing me. Suddenly is was a problem when we spent the night, his grandmother bought him the house he lives in. She's a jehovas witness. Apparently she said she'd throw him and his kids out if I spent the night anymore (she still doesn't know im preggo). He got cold and crabby, so I broke up with him.

A month later he calls me, says he misses me. We start dating again. He actually makes an effort to give a **** the first couple weeks. We are back to him calling maybe once a week. No effort at all. I haven't broken up with him again because it seems pointless. I rarely see or talk to him, I miss him but he doesn't seem to care and I'm sick of chasing.

So, even though there is a title of dating, I'm a single mom to be. I have taken care of every part of this pregnancy so far and I don't see him ever contributing.

Thats the basic rundown. He's an amazing father to the kids he has, I don't know why he has such a problem with this one when he refused to stop it from happening. Why I am the bad guy. Some days it hurts, some days it doesn't.

So, thats it.

Joined: 10/09/09
Posts: 1

I'm Kate, and this is my first pregnancy.

I would like to start off by saying that I'm soo glad I found this site. Pregnancy is scary enough without having to go through it by yourself!

There's not much of a story, I guess. I'm 16 and was at a summer camp, met a guy, had a fling for a couple of days, and then found out I was pregnant. He lives in California and I live in Missouri, and I've told him and everything but he's not really that supportive. He tries to be but I'm not sure how.

The only thing I'm worried about is what to do when the baby comes. I don't want to take the chance of allowing him to be involved because if he's not consistent it could end up really hurting a child. Advice would be welcome Smile