Sleep Support Thread JULY 2008

[Emilys3Guppies]

I kinda figured she might be the easier of the two. If I can get her sleeping in her crib and sleeping all night then I could work on moving him in there. That way he will not be woken up by her if I were to do it the other way around. Does that make sense?

As far as beginning with her I think my plan probably will be to nurse/rock her to sleep and then try putting her down in her crib and see how long I can get her to stay in her crib. I am hoping that it will be longer and longer each night.

I was reading in the book I recommended that babies sometimes need help learning to fall asleep. The nature of our sleep patterns is that most people wake up a few times during the night. As adults, we know how to put ourselves back to sleep...we do so quickly so that we might not even remember our night wakings. Babies, on the other hand, don't necessarily know how to put themselves back to sleep when they wake at night...so they cry and need to be nursed/rocked/shhh'd back to sleep.

Could you nurse her until she's drowsy and then put her in her crib to fall asleep? That way she might learn that she doesn't need to nurse to fall asleep...and she might start to get into a pattern of putting herself to sleep when she nightwakes.

Last night, with Leo, I nursed him until he was really drowsy and then I put him in his crib. I stayed next to him, with my hand rubbing his scalp, until he fell asleep. Sure, now he'll be addicted to the scalp rub, but at least he'll soon know that he doesn't need to be nursed to sleep every time.

[sarahbeth_311]

My issue is with cosleeping. I've loved cosleeping and it's worked for us up until now. But, as a breastfeeding mom, I've noticed that Leo is waking MORE OFTEN to nurse in the night instead of spacing out his feedings. Instead of waking 3 times a night, like he did at 2 months, he is waking 8-10 times a night to nurse. I can nurse lying down, but the issue is that if he nursing I'm awake. I just can't sleep through it.

Here's my plan: get him into his crib, which is next to my bed. Ideally I'd like him to spend most of the night in the crib, but I'm not opposed to him coming into my bed aorund 6am for some nursing/snuggles before we get up for the day. I guess, in an ideal world, we would continue to cosleep and actually GET sleep. But, my instinct tells me that he can smell the milk and he knows how readily available it is, and that's why he's waking so often. I hope that if it's more work for him to eat in the night (get out of bed, sit in a chair, ect) then he won't be so apt to do it. Does that sound reasonable or am I in dreamland? LOL!

And to reply to your plan (haven't quite figured out multiple quoting) I do think that they know or learn that the milk is right there. At first I was putting Darcy in her crib and she would sleep from 8pm-3am then I would bring her to bed with me and she would stay there the rest of the morning and then it turned into full time co-sleeping and ever since then she will wake much more during the night. I think I became her pacifier.

[sarahbeth_311]

I was reading in the book I recommended that babies sometimes need help learning to fall asleep. The nature of our sleep patterns is that most people wake up a few times during the night. As adults, we know how to put ourselves back to sleep...we do so quickly so that we might not even remember our night wakings. Babies, on the other hand, don't necessarily know how to put themselves back to sleep when they wake at night...so they cry and need to be nursed/rocked/shhh'd back to sleep.

Could you nurse her until she's drowsy and then put her in her crib to fall asleep? That way she might learn that she doesn't need to nurse to fall asleep...and she might start to get into a pattern of putting herself to sleep when she nightwakes.

Last night, with Leo, I nursed him until he was really drowsy and then I put him in his crib. I stayed next to him, with my hand rubbing his scalp, until he fell asleep. Sure, now he'll be addicted to the scalp rub, but at least he'll soon know that he doesn't need to be nursed to sleep every time.

Ultimately this is what I am hoping for, but I guess my thought on rocking/nursing to sleep was baby steps and not cold turkey.

[Jeffininer]

Yup. We're going to have to do some MAJOR changes in the sleep arena at my house. I'm going to stop BFing very soon and my biggest hold back is night time. Once I get something in place for night time, I'll be finished with BFing.

Right now we give Rylee a bottle and then I nurse her to sleep. She is usually in her crib by 8:30 pm. Lately she's been waking between 10 and 12 and I've just been lazy and brought her to bed with me so I could nurse her to sleep. Well, it used to be OK, now she wiggles and is waking an awful lot. I think she woke up to nurse about 6 times last night. I'm over it. I'm sick of being a human pacie. I never intended to be a co-sleeper...heck I didn't even know what the term meant until I heard it on here. But, I'm ready for my bed back (and I know DH is ready to be back in bed with me!).

I'm going to have to suck it up and spend the time to put her back to sleep. I guess I'll try rocking her when she wakes? Not automatically go to nursing?

[Emilys3Guppies]

Jennifer, will she take a paci? Could you try rubbing her back or scalp until she falls back asleep?

[Jeffininer]

No paci here. Has never taken one. I've rubbed her back before, but it seems that the contact just makes her wake up more. But, I'll keep trying.

[nu mommee]

I'm going to have to suck it up and spend the time to put her back to sleep. I guess I'll try rocking her when she wakes? Not automatically go to nursing?

This is what we did with my son and it worked wonderfully to stop the night feedings, at first he cried but I was holding him so he was soon comforted. He quite quickly stopped waking at night. Only problem is that whenever he did wake up and cry I had to go in and rock him. I didn't break this habit until just lately when he moved to his big bed.

[SaucyVidel]

I swear by white noise ladies, I really do! And swaddling for the littlest ones, though now we're faced with the ugly task of weaning from the swaddling.

When my first was little she was SUCH a light sleeper, and I finally broke down and tried the white noise on my alarm clock all night. Not only did she sleep better and wake less, it helped ME sleep better because I couldn't hear every little noise that kept me constantly waking to check on her.

Both Callie and Lilah now sleep with white noise and Callie's is turned down to almost nothing, she's almost outgrown the need for it... but the ability to turn it louder during Lilah's naps so that big sissy's banging around downstairs won't wake her? PHENOMENAL!

We successfully transferred from bed beside me to the cosleeper next to the bed and Lilah has been sleeping better without us moving around and rousing her. It was tough the first night and she doesn't like it as much in the morning, but it has worked well. Now we're wrestling with her getting out of ANY swaddling, no matter how tight. This weekend we're going to try and keep her arms out of it and see how it goes. She tends to scratch herself in the face and grab at her pacifier, which keeps her awake, but I am hoping we only have a few rough nights.

My big tip is to do transitions of any sort on a weekend, so you have more time and lose less sleep on the important work days, if need be. I know my husband doesn't get enough sleep as is, so it is important that the 'bad sleep' days fall mostly on days he can get a few extra hours.

Anyway, we're doing well here, overall. Lilah's constant nightwaking that she got into for a month or so has tapered off and she is sleeping much longer stretches once again. It's just a phase, and I knew it would be, so I was a bit vindicated when it ended (my husband thought she was permanently nightwaking from here on out ). Once we're out of the swaddling it's off to her own room so we can reclaim the bedroom. I'll be sad to see her go into the next room (and to have to listen to two baby monitors each night) but it's important to Peter that we get our bed back for adult reasons, as well as the fact that my office and packing area for my fiber is in the bedroom and I often work when Lilah is asleep... so I lose productivity not being able to go in there and use it during her naps.


Anyway, I am glad to hear most everyone is doing better on the sleep issues, like we are. It's one of those things that does get better with time and patience, thank goodness!

[Emilys3Guppies]

Taryl, isn't Callie getting big enough not to need the monitor? She's two right? Is she still in a crib? I only ask because I loved getting rid of the monitor. LOL! I figure that from about 6mos onward baby isn't serious about getting up if they can't yell loud enough for me to hear. But, we live in a 1200sq/ft townhouse.

[trying4#2inMD]

Great thread ladies. Our sleep has been okay at night. I usually nurse/bottle feed her to drowsiness, then put her in her crib. I hold her hands gently down to her side (I think she likes that feeling from when she was swaddled) and wisper sh sh sh sh. We have a large box fan right next to her crib on the floor blowing out towards the door. I turn it up full blast! I also am a firm believer in white noise. Kayla still uses a small fan in her room. If she wakes up after this routine, I go in, and see if she is stuck or if she has thrown up on herself. If not, then I just put her back at the top of the crib and try and calm her by holding her hands down again and saying sh sh sh. She has been (*knocks on wood*) sleeping for about 10-12 hours a night. If she does get up, I am lazy and bring her into bed with me.

Naps are another issue. She doesn't like to nap in her crib. I am working on sleep training with naps. We are trying the comfort then put down routine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I am not too worried about it, since we are going to Disney next week, I will work on it when we get back.

I look foward to seeing what everyone has to say!