It's been a loooooooooong time since I've visited this board, or preg.org at all. I see a few familiar names here, and wonder if anyone might remember me.
Anyhow, I'm Lisa, currently mom to 6, and just found out last weekend that I'm pregnant again.
This has been a huge shock. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in February 2009 (when our youngest was only 7 months old), and underwent a year of rigorous cancer treatment, including chemo, radiation, and two surgeries. We really believed that all the radiation had made him sterile, so we didn't think it was even possible to conceive anymore, and we have been fine with that. Six kids is a lot, and we're no spring chickens; I'm 44 now (another reason to think it was highly unlikely we could conceive), and Michael is 45. Fortunately, his cancer is in remission (his last two scans have actually shown no evidence of cancer, but they don't say you're "cured" until I think 5 years has passed), but it's been an incredibly challenging couple of years for us.
Some of you might remember that our last baby, Finnian, was born at home three years ago in July - a planned homebirth - and ended up in the hospital the day after he was born undergoing surgery for an intestinal blockage. He spent two weeks in the NICU, and it was during that time that we learned he has Down syndrome. He is truly a joy - and not because he fits into all the stereotypes of Down syndrome, but because he is who he is and he has opened my heart and eyes so much, and brought so much to our family. That said, it was quite a shock and an adjustment, and then to find out my husband had cancer on the heels of that, and then the pure HELL of a year of cancer treatment. Just this past spring, Michael had complications from the cancer surgery he underwent and ended up back in the hospital with a bowel obstruction and sepsis. He seriously almost died, and had to undergo emergency surgery, and then was hospitalized yet again a few weeks later with pneumonia and severe anemia (from the emergency surgery). Obviously his health is a wild card at this point, and that's scary. He's gone through PTSD and depression because of all this, which has taken quite a toll on our marriage, and we're only recently trying to find our way back to higher ground, and BAM, we find out I'm pregnant.
Since we didn't think it was possible to get pregnant, I wasn't keeping track of my cycles or anything, so I'm not even sure exactly how far along I am, but my best guess is about 6 weeks. Still very early, and I figure my biggest hurdle right now is the fact that at my age the risk of miscarriage is probably fairly high.
Needless to say, we're scared. Scared of miscarriage, scared to have another baby, just scared. Trying to be excited, but really still in shock.