What do you do when you feel so desperately broody that it's making you miserable? All I can think about is TTC, pregnancy, newborns, breastfeeding... Even labour and birth!
I think it's made worse by the fact that my DD2 is starting nursery on Monday for half a day, five days a week AND today we moved DS5 into a room with his brothers... So suddenly tonight for the first time in a long time (I can't even remember the last time, that's how long it's been!) we have NO babies in our bedroom, and then on Monday I am at home for half a day with only my youngest... Coupled with the perimenopause hanging over me broodines has bitten hard.
In reality I CAN'T have another baby right now, no matter how badly I want one. Financially we were ruined by my business going under, we barely managed to keep hold of our house and we really need to focus on just getting straight again, staying healthy, and being together as a family again. Plus I have the mirena and I know my GP would haul me over the coals if I went to them and said I wanted it out so I could have another baby. But man it doesn't stop me wishing!
Plus I'm just so scared of being pregnant again. Especially as I am currently at my heaviest I have EVER been, and my body and health took a real knock with my last few babies... And although I know my healthcare team would make sure I was fine and keep me under close observation, I'm scared of being that sick and in that much pain again. Although I could get past that for the end result I'm sure!
And then of course I have moments where I'm pretty damn sure I don't want anymore. I mean, life is pretty settled now. I have more time to myself, the kids are more independent, and shortly we'll be out of the nappies and buggies stage... This time next year #7 will be starting nursery and I'll be completely child free for a few hours of the day...
Gah! I don't really think there are any answers out there - infact I'm not even sure if I'm really asking any real questions. It's just nice to talk about it to other mums of many who understand what it's like to have a larger family, as opposed to those who just say "haven't you had enough yet" or "don't you know what causes that".....
Hugs! I think I can relate to how you're feeling. I was totally obsessed with TTC for awhile, and it's even worse when you think that you might not be able to but you really want to. I don't have any great words of wisdom, but I just want to offer you hugs and tell you it's okay to feel the way you're feeling.
Deb ................. DH Norm
DS Caleb, 13 ...... DS Patrick, 12
DS Isaiah, 8 ......... DS Thomas, 7
DD Cherish, 6....... DD Emily, 7\18\13 ....... Ripple, 17
William, 14 weeks, 4/11/12
I dont have much wisdom either...but like you said, maybe you are not really looking for answers. I know with all of my heart...that when this baby is born....there will be part of me that wants another....but my mind will say enough!! my heart will be aching for another. I dont know which will win, but I have to...at some point...just say...my energy needs to go into the family we have...be thankful for the wonderful family we have been blessed with...and try to get past that nagging wish for another. Those of us with large families, I believe are wired a little different!! There is nothing wrong with it....but it sure does not make it easy when its time to shut the door on our reproductive years
((HUGS)) Im so sorry you are feeling this way!
oh my baby fever right now is just awful and my youngest is only four months old! My husband already had a vasectomy too but all I can think about it maybe it won't 'work...awful isn't it? I'm hoping with time I'll become more settled with our four and happy to move out of the baby stage....
DD1- July 2004
DD2- April 2006
DS1- December 2009
DS2- August 2011
DD 8.03, DD 6.05, DS 3.07, DD 5.09, and DS arrived 6.17.12
I think all women must go through this. I get this bug every three years, which is how I end up with a new baby every three years lol! It's like once mine are potty trained I miss the diapers or something!! You have to do what's best for you... and as far as the financials go, I don't think anyone is ever really "ready" to have another one... you just make it work. Good luck with everything!
Krystal & Donovan - 12/2/06
Reagan - 10/2/02
Maximus - 3/10/05
Liberty - 12/11/08
My angel in Heaven 1/7/13
big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
8.16.12 & 12.16.12