expecting #5

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Joined: 05/23/12
Posts: 690
expecting #5

You're the only ones I think can relate to how I am feeling, so here goes!

I just found out today that (I'm pretty sure) I'm expecting #5. OMG it's so overwhelming to think of 5. All the others are 6 and under. People have been asking me every time they see I have if I am stopping or if I plan to have more. People count them...and 4 is not 'THAT' many. I guess I don't care so much about them, but the real problem is I am freaking out to tell my mom.

I am sure I'll be alright but right now this is feeling kind of overwhelming and I'm not sure I'm ever going to tell my mom..I wish anyway. I'm not sure she's going to come and help and I don't need her to. Last month she was joking because we just finished our van lease and got a new van and she asked if we got a 16 passenger. I said no, she said another kid and you will have too. Comments like these make me feel like not telling her. I know she's going to be upset about it. I know she's going to be dramatic about it. Every month or so she asks me if I started birth control pills. I feel like telling her to mind her own business and to that she'll say then that's what I will do when you give birth too. She's kind of snarky like this.

Anyway I can type all night. I'm sure you all have some idea how I feel. Can you help me...please someone? Thank you so much in advance.

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

I can relate to the fear about telling your mother. We have not told anyone yet aside from my best friend. She doesn't live near us, so I know my secret is safe with her. Most of my family made comments about us stopping since baby #3 was a boy, but I've always, always wanted four. Just be strong, and try not to let her upset you. This is what you want, and she needs to be supportive!! Hang in there :bigarmhug:

-Asha-'s picture
Joined: 02/08/12
Posts: 173

Hugs about the comments, but CONGRATS about your teeny tiny baby!!!
I basically didn't tell anyone until I was almost 20 weeks and there was no hiding beyond that point. I just looked fat.
You are correct, this is YOUR family, your life. Your mom should be proud of you for being able to have so many kids! She should give help and support whether you have the "acceptable" 2 kids or 5!
And as long as you don't have twins, you will be OK in the mini van still! I do drive a 15 passenger and it's not such a big deal.
What are your kids' names? Where are you from?

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

I'm a Nana...
I was in the Peace Corps a very long time ago, in West Africa. I was speaking to a chief about his many children and he said something that I thought was so wise: "You don't count children. You name them, you love them, you guide them."

So unless you want your baby to be named "#5", I'd stick to chief's way of thinking. Congratulations!

I do understand that you want your Mom to be supportive rather than critical. Could you find a gentle way of telling her this? I bet she wants your love and kindness too. Deep down I think she may be worried that you are going to have a difficult time with a larger family and her comments express her worries for you. She sees you as her little girl still perhaps, but maybe she's the one who needs some comfort that you are competent and strong? Maybe you two need a lunch or movie date!

Joined: 05/23/12
Posts: 690

Thank you everyone. I took a few more tests and I'm definitely expecting. I think I'll tell my mom the day after I deliver.. like maybe I'll email her a pic from the iphone. lol

Seriously, things will work out one way or the other. Smile

Joined: 09/02/05
Posts: 994

Congratulations!! I am sorry that you can't share such exciting news with your mom. I hope that when you do finally decide to tell her that she will be supportive and loving. *hugs*

lby_mommyof3's picture
Joined: 11/12/07
Posts: 644

"gardenbug" wrote:

"You don't count children. You name them, you love them, you guide them."

I LOVE that! Thank you for sharing that!

Congratulations on your baby! I'm so sorry you cannot share such exciting news with your mom! Hopefully you will be able to find a good way to tell her and that she can both accept and be happy for you! (HUGS)

Joined: 03/20/12
Posts: 16

Your post caught my eye...I am expecting #5 and our oldest just turned 6. It was no surprise for us that I was pregant, though, we were hoping to get pregnant (yes, I realize most people think I am crazy for that...but I am happy).

I wouldn't let anyone judge you...you created a life. While it may be hectic and overwhelming...you will be greatly rewarded.

Don't let what anyone else says get you down. I am guessing your children will be thirlled when they find out you will be adding to your family. Just imagine all of the fun times that will take place. That always makes me happy. I also have to remind myself that they WILL grow up. They won't always fit on my lap, I won't be able to bear children for my entire life. It is a gift. It is not easy, but it is a true gift that not many people are willing to accept! Good luck to you!

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

I'm pregnant with #6 and I understand. I was nervous about telling my parents. Their excitement has waned with every pregnancy. It's just so hard for them and many others, why we'd choose to have a large family. Like the PP said, it can get crazy and overwhelming but I wouldn't have it any other way! Maybe wen you tell your mom, you could immediately follow the news with how excited you are and what a blessing this new baby is. If you start out positive it will be more difficult for her to react negatively. Good luck! I hope she gives you the support you need and deserve!