As it gets closer, I get a little more nervous....

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Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271
As it gets closer, I get a little more nervous....

I'm worried about the transition from 3 munchkins to 4. I've heard people say that after 3 there really isn't a difference and I've also been told that I'm out of my mind. So, what did you ladies think? Thanks!

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I'm guessing that the people who say you're out of your mind don't have 3, let alone 4 kids. It's pretty much just more of the same after the first 3.

-Asha-'s picture
Joined: 02/08/12
Posts: 173

I totally agree that after 3 it is not that different to add one more. Actually it got easier for me, b/c I had more confidence and I knew what each stage would be like ( the tired newborn stage, the adjusted baby stage, etc...) So I wouldn't fret it , enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, especially now that you are in the second trimester!

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

You will do great. I think after a few kids, I think you realize just how quickly that first year passes.....

I may be biased bc our babies have been quite easy, no colic, pretty laid back, but I always tell people that the baby is the easy one. It is toddlers who are hard (and strong willed and seeking independence.)

You are going to do fantastically!

-Asha-'s picture
Joined: 02/08/12
Posts: 173

"boilermaker" wrote:

I may be biased bc our babies have been quite easy, no colic, pretty laid back, but I always tell people that the baby is the easy one. It is toddlers who are hard (and strong willed and seeking independence.)

I agree with this completely!

lby_mommyof3's picture
Joined: 11/12/07
Posts: 644

I agree with Audra and Asha, the baby IS the easy one--eat, sleep, and mess diapers. The older kids are the harder ones. You will be an awesome mommy of 4, Holly!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Thanks ladies! I hear you on the baby being the easy one. Our toddler is currently giving us a run for our money, so I'm betting he'll be the one who has the hardest time adjusting. I found that when Cameron was born I was definately a more patient mom as I felt I had more confidence in what I was doing just as you said Asha, so hopefully this one will just fit right in!

I just can't believe it's only 3 1/2 months away!! Our 4D u/s is in 11 days and our gender reveal party is in 2 weeks. So excited!

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

I guess Ivy was an easy toddler... and Leo had a very difficult first month. This time Leo is being a difficult toddler and Forrest baby is quite easy. So I'll have to agree with the above!!! Not having 4, I can't say!

Good Luck!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

Holly, you'll do fine at whatever you must as their personalities evolve. Enjoy each one in his own way. It is good that you are anticipating what the new dynamics will be, but do not fret!

Sarah, I think your DSS, though only half time with you, still makes life more than exciting at your place! Even when not at your house, his presence is powerful. Definitely you have 4 to handle!

As to Leo, the middle child of the young ones, that is often the hardest place to be in. Often the middle child needs extra time and affection. ("pickle in the middle") My sister suffered from that a great deal.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3014

Holly, you're a wonderful mommy and you'll do a great job. I don't think you're out of your mind at all.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

I'll be completely honest, 4 has been one of my hardest transitions. It is different for everyone though. 3 was a piece of cake for me so I didn't think adding a 4th would make much of a difference but it has amazed me. It is a different hard than my first and learning how to parent and my second learning how to multitask, it is trying and failing daily to keep up wih everything from school stuff to cleaning to cooking and of course money.
I don't want to scare, it is tough and I wish I would have been a little more prepared myself. I do not wish we stopped at 3 for one second of any day...I remind myself daily that this is a short phase of our life and I know I will miss it.

Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413

I can't speak from experience, but I thought I'd pass on what one mom of many wrote on the topic.

She said she thought it had more to do with how old the kids were than the number. Basically, as long as all her kids were under 5, she felt like she was just trying to keep her head above water, but things got easier when the eldest was 6 and able to start helping out for real. For her, that meant the hardest was going from 4 to 5 kids, since she had hers about a year apart each. Her observation was that moms she new who went from 3 under 5 to 4 under 5 felt that going from 3 to 4 was the hardest, and likewise for those going from 2 under 5 to 3 under 5 felt that going from 2 to 3 was the hardest.

Like I said, I have no experience to draw on at this point (I'm expecting #3 when ds1 is 4 and ds 2 is 2), but I thought what she had to say sounded reasonable and was at least worth considering. Of course, her observation also depends on how much is expected of children and at what age.

I just keep reminding myself that I am far from the first woman to have the number of children I do or will have, and all those other women have muddled along somehow. I'm sure you'll do fine once you get there.

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

Ah, I remember those feelings prior to my twins being born. I started to panic, thinking how I would take care of 4 kids. I'm surviving though...and my twins are now 2 months old. I'm in a good routine now and some days I feel like I get nothing done, while others, I actually accomplish chores, etc. Oh, I also have a colic baby, my son has colic as well as acid reflux. So, yeah, it gets crazy, haha.

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Thanks for all of the replies ladies!

I am still a bit nervous, but I think we'll make it work somehow Smile It'll just be our "new" crazy routine!

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

Youll do just fine. Fot us, going from 2 to 3 was the hardest. Adding wee dude has just meant doing what I was doing before, just with a baby attached to me lol. I agree that it all depends on your kids ages and personalities. My oldest is 6 and gone most of the day to school. My 2nd will be four in Feb and is gone in the morning 3 days a week for school. He is actually my most challenging one at the moment. Hes got the 3 yr old defiance streak at the moment that is challenging me. My 3rd is 2, and my little helper, and much more compliant lol. Though, she def has her little diva moments. Wee dude is a good baby. He has his fussy moments, mainly in the evening after the other 3 are in bed thank god knock on wood. And, hes a pretty good sleeper, up onve to three tomes depending on the night.im just about a month in, and so far so good Smile

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Kier, I did not realize our LOs ages were so similiar either. Looking at your kiddos birthdates, our first 2 are just 2 weeks apart, and our 3rd ones are only 3 days apart. Crazy! I am glad that you're fairing well! I'm hoping that with the older two in school it will not be so difficult here either. My 2 yr old is a wild man right now and definately testing his boundaries. He's going to be my challenge! Thanks again for the replies...it'll be here before I know it!

Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

Im very late to this...but I did want to add my opinion. I truly believe that number has nothing to do with it. I believe its the babies/children and life and the phases you are dealing with that determines if its difficult to add a baby or not. If you get an incredibly easy baby and your children are in a "good" place....then its simple...if you have a more difficult baby and you have children going through difficult phases...well then it will be a challenge...but one I am sure you are ready for! I found my hardest transition was from 3 to 4....but ONLY because Nicholas was a difficult baby...I had many difficult things going on with my other kids...I was trying to work part time...and my husband had started a new job that required travel which is now just part of life...but at that time was a very new transition...and it was hard. Going from 4 to 5 and so on and so forth (we are not 6...we have 9 now Smile ) was not bad at all for me...but I think it all has to do with circumstances and mental state...more than anything else! You will be wonderful! So excited for you! Congrats!!

lby_mommyof3's picture
Joined: 11/12/07
Posts: 644

"Holly_Anne618" wrote:

I am glad that you're fairing well! I'm hoping that with the older two in school it will not be so difficult here either. My 2 yr old is a wild man right now and definately testing his boundaries. He's going to be my challenge! Thanks again for the replies...it'll be here before I know it!

Holly, you will just have to find a routine that works for YOU! And I used to think (a long time ago) that the baby was going to be the hard one, but it is the little kids who are hard--they are the ones who notice where our attention goes. Just make sure to spend quality time with your 2 yr old and try to be consistent. You are going to do great!
(I do have to admit, though, that I am kinda freaking out about having one more here, but I have older kids who are a great help to me, so it will be fine...)