Thread: Guess my family really IS finished...

I had some private tests done a few weeks ago and found out late last week that I am deep into Premature Ovarian Failure and am likely to have my last period and enter menopause/post-menopause within the next 2-3 years. I was told my egg reserves are so low if I wanted another baby then the only real option would be IVF and that because my body is "older" than it's supposed to be my chances of having a baby with chromosomal problems (or other things wrong) would be 1 in 2. I was also told this is probably the reason I've had so many miscarriages over the years.

To be honest I'm not really that upset by the loss of my fertility. I feel so, so blessed to have had the children I do. I'm upset because I'm suffering horrible menopausal symptoms ALL the time. And they're getting worse. I feel like a total freak of nature as I don't know anyone else who is or has entered menopause this young (even though I know plenty of women do)...

It's not helped by the fact that everyone seems convinced I am so upset because I can't pop out another baby and that's just not it at all. If I hear one more "you're lucky to have the ones you do" or "this is your bodies way of telling you to stop now" or "some women can't have any children at all, get over it" I swear I'll scream. No matter how many times I tell people I know I'm lucky to have my children and it's not about the loss of fertility or the desire for more... It's about the fact that my body is doing something it shouldn't be doing yet and the symptoms are horrible. REALLY horrible.

Anyway I've been avoiding parenting and pregnancy boards whilst this was all going on but I'm feeling a lot better now. It still hurts but I can focus on other things now so I thought I'd come back and explain my period of MIA. I have good days and bad days and I've still got to have a truck load of tests done but it's getting better...

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this!

When our friend and his wife were diagnosed with infertility the phrase they heard was that you have to mourn your fertility. It's a hard thing to come to grips with, no matter how many kids you have before.

Originally Posted by CamelNoodle

When our friend and his wife were diagnosed with infertility the phrase they heard was that you have to mourn your fertility. It's a hard thing to come to grips with, no matter how many kids you have before.

Sorry you are having all these pre-menopausal symptoms so young! Must be difficult to deal with, as well as dealing with the emotions of "this shouldn't be happening". But as with everything troublesome, focus on the joys of "now", and try not to dwell on the "what if"s, and "should be"s. They are really tough, but they can't be helped. Mourning those expectations is as simple or difficult as "letting go" - different for every situation.

Glad to see you back at that you are dealing with it better now. Good luck with the rest of your tests.

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must be like. Big hugs!

I am sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this. I hope that something can be done to help some of the symptoms not be so horrible.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. And that people can't be more understanding. I hope you find some relief from your symptoms.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this...

so sorry you are having to deal with this

Wow. That is really early to be going through a menopause. I am sorry that the symptoms are so bad, I wish i could do more than just offer hugs. You will be in my thoughts!