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Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413
Hi

Didn't expect to be here quite so soon. I'm only expecting #3, right now, so I really don't feel like dh and I have a big family. But...I just announced to my parents.

My dad is giving me the silent treatment, and my mother is acting like she's putting up with my doing something shameful. Living in central CA, I did start getting "hands full" comments with number two.

I guess I'm just looking for some support.

Smile

-Asha-'s picture
Joined: 02/08/12
Posts: 173

Hello and Welcome!!
Congratulations on your newest little bean!!!! I am wishing you a happy and healthy nine months!!

Sorry to hear about the negativity, unfortunately I have felt that way too many times with my own family... it's awful that they would react that way- no matter what!
Try to remind them that it is YOUR family that you are expanding and it is YOUR choice to do so. The responsibilities and the costs will also be mostly yours and your DH's - so they can't really act like you are doing something " wrong".
Either way, don't let it stop your enjoyment of this pregnancy, share your ups and downs with us - we are thrilled for you!!!
How are you feeling? What kind of temperaments are your two little boys at home? I also did get the "hands full" comment a lot- I really despised it. Funny, people mostly leave us alone now Biggrin

jhj
Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360

The only time it is funny to get the "got your hands full" comment is when I only have a couple of kids and I can say "actually it is pretty nice to be out with only two kids, the rest are at home! Get some pretty funny expressions from the original commenter!

Congrats and hope everything goes smoothly,

Heather

Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413

Thanks for the comments. I still feel kinda silly being here, since I'm only expecting #3 Smile

Mostly, I'm really tired. I'm blessed/cursed with easy pregnancies. I know it sounds weird to put it that way, but I've also had three m/c's. Sometimes I feel like I'd give anything for a bit of m/s! No offense to those ladies who really suffer!

Ds1 (3yo) is Daddy's boy all the way! He's a ball of energy and muscle. And he's honery (comes by it bright honest from both of us!). We're a homeschool family, so we recently started doing preschool type stuff. He loves counting and identifying letters. We're almost done with potty training, and Ds1 prefers playing to eating any day.

Ds2 (19mo) is a Mama's boy. He's learned about all the important things in life (tractors, cars, trucks, trains, and airplanes) from his brother. He's much lower key (and quieter) than Ds1, but he definitely knows what he wants and when he wants it. About two months ago, he figured out that Daddy *might* have some redeeming value Smile Ds2 loves to eat, but he's all muscle--just like his brother. He's a big tease.

DH and I were able to learn most of our boys' character traits from their behavior in utero, so we're really looking forward to getting to know our new LO over the next few months.

I did get a call from my dad late last night. He's starting to come around. He and I have always had trouble communicating, and he doesn't like DH much at all. But whatever he thinks of us or our family choices, the fact is that he loves kids (despite only choosing to have one, himself)--so he has to make nice with me if he wants grandkid privileges Smile

I think part of the reason I've started getting comments so early is that we're in CA, which has some really anti-kid areas. While our area is pretty good that way, it is largely a retirement community. I also read yesterday that America's birth rate has fallen to 1.87 in the last year, so I guess my family is a little larger than average. Go figure.

lby_mommyof3's picture
Joined: 11/12/07
Posts: 644

Hi Harper!!! Congratulations on your baby! I'm so excited for you! You are due about 2 months after me this time around. (We were on the January 2011 board together, right? I'm sorry, but my memory is awful!)

I'm so sorry you are dealing with negativity. It's unfortunate that people can't be happy for you--especially close family. I worried about it, and we've gotten some negative feedback, but you have to just be happy for you. Someone else posted somewhere (I have no idea where), but they said it perfectly "Happiness comes from the inside". Good luck with your pregnancy! KUP on what's going on with you!

sandy1007's picture
Joined: 09/30/11
Posts: 844

I am only expecting number 3 also. I felt pretty silly posting on here too but was told it would be a good place to post since my youngest and this one will be so close together. DH comes from a big family so we didn't get much grief on having another but did get some from a few family members about their ages be so close. The way I look at it is that the people that matter will be happy and those that aren't can just get over it. It is our lives to live and they aren't paying bills/cleaning my house/ or raising my kids Smile It has helped me a lot but I am sure my hormones will get the best of me at some point and I will get irritates with stuff people say

Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413

"lby_mommyof3" wrote:

Hi Harper!!! Congratulations on your baby! I'm so excited for you! You are due about 2 months after me this time around. (We were on the January 2011 board together, right? I'm sorry, but my memory is awful!)

I'm so sorry you are dealing with negativity. It's unfortunate that people can't be happy for you--especially close family. I worried about it, and we've gotten some negative feedback, but you have to just be happy for you. Someone else posted somewhere (I have no idea where), but they said it perfectly "Happiness comes from the inside". Good luck with your pregnancy! KUP on what's going on with you!

Yeah, we were on 1/11 together! I thought your screen name looked familiar, but I have a wretched memory, too Smile

I look forward to following your pregnancy, too!

Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413

"sandy1007" wrote:

I am only expecting number 3 also. I felt pretty silly posting on here too but was told it would be a good place to post since my youngest and this one will be so close together. DH comes from a big family so we didn't get much grief on having another but did get some from a few family members about their ages be so close. The way I look at it is that the people that matter will be happy and those that aren't can just get over it. It is our lives to live and they aren't paying bills/cleaning my house/ or raising my kids Smile It has helped me a lot but I am sure my hormones will get the best of me at some point and I will get irritates with stuff people say

After number two came along, my sons were instantly best friends and playmates. I really think it helped that they are only two years apart. If I could have had them closer together, I would have. It's been such a joy watching them grow together. I've known so many families where the kids can't stand each other, and all of those families waited four or five years between kids. Part of me has to wonder if the age difference contributes to that kind of difficulty. (Moms who do have kids spaced out more, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts. I'm an only child, so I have no experience to draw on.)

Whenever someone comments on my boys being close together, I just point out what good friends they are and how they can amuse each other when I'm busy.

HH9M!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

In my case (I'm a Nana) the two kids were 5 years apart and excellent friends!!!

knhoward's picture
Joined: 04/22/08
Posts: 999

Welcome! I have 3 children now (but I want more) We all have to start somewhere right? I hate the "You have your hands full comment" I get it several times a day when I go out for walks with my 3 boys. I usually have one in a carrier and 2 in the stroller. My boys are 23 months and 28 months apart respectively. My 3rd is 3 months old so I can't say how well he gets along with the other, but my 4 and 2 year olds play super well together. They are truly best friends and share a room as well.