How do you know

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reneakelly's picture
Joined: 06/22/02
Posts: 154
How do you know

I have 4 kids, none with my current husband. the thing is I would like to have at least one child with him. I have had 6 miscarriages in 2 years. I dont have anyone that understand my wanting another child. One of my grandmothers keep saying the losses is God's way of telling me I dont need another child. Everyone else said I should be happy with the 4 I already have. Even though Im tired emotionaly something just keeps telling me to keep trying that it will happen one day. I just dont know what to do. Im in the process of an ectopic waiting to dissolve, so I know I cant do anything before October. Any advice would be a big help.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6560

:lurk:

Big hugs for your loss. Please join us on the TTC after a loss board even if you are not TTC right now.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I'm so sorry hon. Unfortunately people do not always understand miscarriage and loss, especially if they have not experienced a loss themselves. I had two healthy children before I had my two miscarriages, and that did not mean that I did not want more children or that those losses meant nothing. I felt I was supposed to have more children, and the loving God I know does not send messages in that way. There are a lot of people who probably should not have more children, but they still get pregnant, so that logic is flawed to me. The TTC after a Loss board is awesome, I spent a few years there and made wonderful friends (like Bonita above) and had much healing through the women there. Hugs and prayers hon!

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

I'm so sorry about your losses. A loss is never easy...no matter what and nobody can tell you differently.

I've had my share of MC's, blighted ovum and have been told the same thing....be happy with what you have. It's a bunch of BS.

I can understand your wanting 1 w/your hubby. DH & I tried for nearly 2 years & 2 m/c's before Miranda came along. Everyone thought I was crazy for wanting to "start over".

I look at my losses as part of my path to the kids I have now. I would haven't Miranda if I didn't have those other losses. I know it's hard to keep at it...hang in there :openarms:

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

"butterflykissesx6" wrote:

I'm so sorry about your losses. A loss is never easy...no matter what and nobody can tell you differently.

I've had my share of MC's, blighted ovum and have been told the same thing....be happy with what you have. It's a bunch of BS.

I can understand your wanting 1 w/your hubby. DH & I tried for nearly 2 years & 2 m/c's before Miranda came along. Everyone thought I was crazy for wanting to "start over".

I look at my losses as part of my path to the kids I have now. I would haven't Miranda if I didn't have those other losses. I know it's hard to keep at it...hang in there :openarms:

So vey, very true and wonderfully put.

{{{hugs}}}

reneakelly's picture
Joined: 06/22/02
Posts: 154

Thank you so much ladies, Im going to tke this time and enjoy the rest of the summer. I will regroup in October. I know in my heart I cant just walk away and give up. I will not be telling family anything about my trying journey, since they are so unsupportive. I will just keep things between me and my husband, oh and of course all of you. So thanks again.

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

*hugs*
Sometimes, you just have to shut those negative people out of your life. Even if it is family Sad After my loss I know that I didn't want to end my childbearing years on a down note, you know what I mean? I just knew there were mroe out there for me. Keep you hear up, hon. Come here any time to vent or whatever....most of us have been there!

Four4us's picture
Joined: 01/13/06
Posts: 324

I have 4 children as well and get a lot of comments about either having enough, or too many. Because I have 2 of each gender, I also get- OH thats perfect, 2 of each! Which really makes me mad because being done in my mind has nothing to do with what genders you have or not have.

If you have room in your heart for another, you have room in your home. I am sorry about your miscarriages :(, but I don't believe it is a sign of anything except a true desire to continue to try to have another beautiful child. Good luck with your journey!