I don't know which is worse

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pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3013
I don't know which is worse

I don't know how I'll handle the large family comments I'll get some day. I already often get two comments which bug me.
One is "Wow, three boys. You must have you hands full. But you had them young, so at least you'll have them out of the house while you're still young." I hate that people assume I must be done just because I have three kids. And that I want them out of the house!
The other is "Wow, three boys. Are you going to try for a girl?" I swear, I'm going to just start telling people "I have tried. Three times." Then walk away. I don't care that it's a lie since we didn't try for any particular gender. It's totally not their business.

okay, rant over.

In better news, sounds like we might be on our way to that large family. Last night Dh decided to talk seriously about kids (rarely happens) and said "One more kid always sounds okay. The problem is, that leads to infinite kids!" Sounds like a large family in the making to me. Biggrin

ETA: Oh my, I just realized I got asked on here the other day "are you going to try for a girl". I didn't mean this at all in response to that! It's different on these boards because they're all about babies and family and TMI. My rant was triggered by getting asked at the dentist last night. I get asked at the supermarket checkout all the time, too.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I hated when I I got that comment about 3 boys: "Are you going to 'keep trying' for a girl?" (like I was ever "trying" in the first place!) or "I'm sorry you didn't get your girl," (I'm not! I love my boys!). And they would say it right in front of my sons! How completely rude and insensitive! Basically sending the message to the boys that they are somehow less valuable because they're not girls.

I'm glad you and DH are on the same page about a large family! That's awesome!

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

If I could turn back the clock, I think I'd ignore those people and turn to my own kids and say to them, loudly, "You know, I'm very blessed to have you boys. I love you all very much!"

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3013

I tell my boys that all the time. Honestly, I really did want a girl when TTC #2 and #3. But I wouldn't trade my boys for anything and I think I'd love a family of all boys!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

My sister-in-law raised 5 boys to adulthood as a single Mom. "Nobody could love them more then me!"

Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

Its so interesting that in the US I think statistically more people prefer girls (although just slightly) from what I have read...but in many other parts of the world the male gender is preferred (like China and many others) by a lot! I love my boys and girls!! Healthy happy kids...thats all that matters in the end!! Good luck with your ttc journey...and do keep us posted!! Smile

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

My dad's parents had 6 boys and then fostered another boy Smile She ended up with lots of granddaughgters and great-granddaughters to spoil and have fun with. We got a lot of comments with this last pregnancy, not only because it was #4 but because we already had both genders and people just figured we were done because of that. The big family comments only bother me in front of my kids, especially once when I was pregnant and shopping with the older 3 and an older man made a crude vasectomy 'joke' right in front of my kids. I've actually received a lot of good comments too though from people who tell me how well behaved they are and how much they loved their own big families, so I just let the negative ones go in oane ear and out the other or sometimes just tell them how much I love having 4

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

I hated the gender comments I got (and still get although far less these days)... I think of all the comments I got from being a mother of many, those were the most hurtful. Like my boys weren't good enough. Like I'd played in a lucky dip and came out with the joke prize and not the real one. Sad Made me so angry and so sad and totally ruined my experience of raising my first few children.

Of course, I'm more pissy now, so people feel the sharp end of my tongue if they comment in a negative fashion on my family.

Good luck with TTC #4! I think having 4 (or more) kids is awesome and so much fun!!!

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

My best friend has 3 boys and she gets this all the time...we just laugh at it all. I always get the oh so now you have your girl you must be done right? Like it really matters and my boys were just practice for my little girl. I think people just say stupid crap all the time and dont think about what they are really saying. We dont find out the gender of any of our babies so i like that it keeps people guessing.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

Lol... the "trying for a girl" I got a lot as well... but only because I wanted a girl from the very first pregnancy! Third time was a charm for me!! I really wanted a girl this last time around as well, but of course it was another boy. The funny thing is though, now that he's here and from the first moment I saw him, I was so totally in love with him (and this happened with my other boys as well!) that I couldn't be happier! If I were to ever get pregnant again, I wouldn't find out the sex, and would be completely extatic if it were another boy.

alisharae's picture
Joined: 01/28/12
Posts: 10

I have three boys almost the same ages as yours: July 07, June 09, and September 10. People ask me all the time if I'm going to keep trying until I have a girl. It drives me crazy! I was like you, I also wanted a girl when TTC #2 and 3, but I wouldn't trade my boys for anything Smile

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I have three boys, but I do have a girl also, I get lots of, "are you going to give her a sister?" I am grateful that large families are more common here, but hate that I am expected to have a certain gender. In all honesty, if we had another, of course I would want a girl a little more, but we would be happy with any baby. DD says she would rather have no more babies than to have another brother. lol

But your comment about ppl saying, "they'll all be out of the house" cracked me up. That was my friend's line, she wanted to have her kids close to together and while they were young so that they would all be out of the house while she and dh were still young. It drove me nuts! I am not having kids to "get them out of the house". And I gently reminded her that just because they are 18 does not mean they are out of the house, but for her it does, she said they'd be booted. So sad. (and she has 4 kids lol)

Joined: 07/21/02
Posts: 1007

I had someone tell me "i'm sorry" when she found out we were having boy #3--It made me so mad!! Yes, I would love another little girl someday, but I wasn't sad to have a boy! He is the sweetest thing ever! Just becasue she stopped as soon as she had her girl (2 boys and a girl at the end) and doesn't want more, doesn't mean I don't want more! Honestly, it's my little girl who is going to give me more gray hair than any of these boys so far--DRAMA! Wink But seriously, boys are easy--buy my daughter gives me a run for my money!

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

Holly, I'm right there with you. My daughter is more trouble than all 4 boys. I can't wait till she's a teen :roll:

CrescentMoonMama's picture
Joined: 01/11/08
Posts: 66

When we were pregnant with our third after two boys, I found out the gender just so I could prepare other people -- try to minimize the stupid remakes before the baby arrived. I love having all boys. It's fun. I'm not sure I would know what to do with a girl at this point. Smile

-Asha-'s picture
Joined: 02/08/12
Posts: 173

Boys are WAY easier!!!!!!!!!!!! 'nough said

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

My boys are still little but thus far they've been way easier than my girls so I'll agree with the majority Wink Now that my girls are school age it's even worse, you wouldn't believe how early the 'girl drama' starts!