I don't know which is worse
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Thread: I don't know which is worse

  1. #1
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    Default I don't know which is worse

    I don't know how I'll handle the large family comments I'll get some day. I already often get two comments which bug me.
    One is "Wow, three boys. You must have you hands full. But you had them young, so at least you'll have them out of the house while you're still young." I hate that people assume I must be done just because I have three kids. And that I want them out of the house!
    The other is "Wow, three boys. Are you going to try for a girl?" I swear, I'm going to just start telling people "I have tried. Three times." Then walk away. I don't care that it's a lie since we didn't try for any particular gender. It's totally not their business.

    okay, rant over.

    In better news, sounds like we might be on our way to that large family. Last night Dh decided to talk seriously about kids (rarely happens) and said "One more kid always sounds okay. The problem is, that leads to infinite kids!" Sounds like a large family in the making to me.


    ETA: Oh my, I just realized I got asked on here the other day "are you going to try for a girl". I didn't mean this at all in response to that! It's different on these boards because they're all about babies and family and TMI. My rant was triggered by getting asked at the dentist last night. I get asked at the supermarket checkout all the time, too.
    Last edited by pico83; 02-23-2012 at 03:40 PM. Reason: clarification
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12


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    I hated when I I got that comment about 3 boys: "Are you going to 'keep trying' for a girl?" (like I was ever "trying" in the first place!) or "I'm sorry you didn't get your girl," (I'm not! I love my boys!). And they would say it right in front of my sons! How completely rude and insensitive! Basically sending the message to the boys that they are somehow less valuable because they're not girls.

    I'm glad you and DH are on the same page about a large family! That's awesome!

    Deb ................. DH Norm
    DS Caleb, 13 ...... DS Patrick, 12
    DS Isaiah, 8 ......... DS Thomas, 7

    DD Cherish, 6....... DD Emily, 7\18\13 ....... Ripple, 17
    William, 14 weeks, 4/11/12

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    If I could turn back the clock, I think I'd ignore those people and turn to my own kids and say to them, loudly, "You know, I'm very blessed to have you boys. I love you all very much!"

    Deb ................. DH Norm
    DS Caleb, 13 ...... DS Patrick, 12
    DS Isaiah, 8 ......... DS Thomas, 7

    DD Cherish, 6....... DD Emily, 7\18\13 ....... Ripple, 17
    William, 14 weeks, 4/11/12

  4. #4
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    I tell my boys that all the time. Honestly, I really did want a girl when TTC #2 and #3. But I wouldn't trade my boys for anything and I think I'd love a family of all boys!
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12


  5. #5
    Posting Addict gardenbug's Avatar
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    My sister-in-law raised 5 boys to adulthood as a single Mom. "Nobody could love them more then me!"
    Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat

  6. #6
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    Its so interesting that in the US I think statistically more people prefer girls (although just slightly) from what I have read...but in many other parts of the world the male gender is preferred (like China and many others) by a lot! I love my boys and girls!! Healthy happy kids...thats all that matters in the end!! Good luck with your ttc journey...and do keep us posted!!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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    Posting Addict mandi04's Avatar
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    My dad's parents had 6 boys and then fostered another boy She ended up with lots of granddaughgters and great-granddaughters to spoil and have fun with. We got a lot of comments with this last pregnancy, not only because it was #4 but because we already had both genders and people just figured we were done because of that. The big family comments only bother me in front of my kids, especially once when I was pregnant and shopping with the older 3 and an older man made a crude vasectomy 'joke' right in front of my kids. I've actually received a lot of good comments too though from people who tell me how well behaved they are and how much they loved their own big families, so I just let the negative ones go in oane ear and out the other or sometimes just tell them how much I love having 4
    DD1- July 2004
    DD2- April 2006
    DS1- December 2009
    DS2- August 2011

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    Posting Addict Sarah-Jean's Avatar
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    I hated the gender comments I got (and still get although far less these days)... I think of all the comments I got from being a mother of many, those were the most hurtful. Like my boys weren't good enough. Like I'd played in a lucky dip and came out with the joke prize and not the real one. Made me so angry and so sad and totally ruined my experience of raising my first few children.

    Of course, I'm more pissy now, so people feel the sharp end of my tongue if they comment in a negative fashion on my family.

    Good luck with TTC #4! I think having 4 (or more) kids is awesome and so much fun!!!

  9. #9
    Mega Poster sbaldwin's Avatar
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    My best friend has 3 boys and she gets this all the time...we just laugh at it all. I always get the oh so now you have your girl you must be done right? Like it really matters and my boys were just practice for my little girl. I think people just say stupid crap all the time and dont think about what they are really saying. We dont find out the gender of any of our babies so i like that it keeps people guessing.




    Sara married to Lance
    Mama to
    Brody Leo 1/18/06
    Beckett Jay 1/23/08
    Sweet baby girl Naya Elizabeth at 36 weeks 4/20/10


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    Posting Addict Starryblue702's Avatar
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    Lol... the "trying for a girl" I got a lot as well... but only because I wanted a girl from the very first pregnancy! Third time was a charm for me!! I really wanted a girl this last time around as well, but of course it was another boy. The funny thing is though, now that he's here and from the first moment I saw him, I was so totally in love with him (and this happened with my other boys as well!) that I couldn't be happier! If I were to ever get pregnant again, I wouldn't find out the sex, and would be completely extatic if it were another boy.
    Krystal & Donovan - 12/2/06
    Reagan - 10/2/02
    Maximus - 3/10/05
    Liberty - 12/11/08
    Trystan- 11/22/11
    My angel in Heaven 1/7/13

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