Thread: not REALLY a large family issue....

I'm feeling very OLD this time around. I know this is so silly, but I feel like I am too old to be having another baby sometimes! I don't feel like 29 is too old for a baby at all, I just feel like I'm too old to be doing it again. It really makes no sense...lol With my oldest son, I am one of the youngest moms since I was only 20 when I had him. I keep telling Jason people will think I'm Finn's grandma (I know, I know...not really...it just feels that way to me for some reason!). I think for me, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I thought I was done and had kind of mentally moved on from this stage in my life and no here I am back here. It is totally a mental thing since I am fully aware that a lot (if not MOST) gals don't even have their first baby until they are my age or older!

The grandma thing is funny..because at story time a few weeks ago...I scanned the room...there seemed to be 2 groups...some very young moms with their young kids, some grandmothers (obviously grandmothers) watching their grandkids probably while mom was at work, and as I sat there looking at the groups....I could not decide which group I looked closer in age to! Some of the grandmothers were in very good shape and probably in their 50's....I might have been closer to THEIR age than the young moms in the room!! It kind of startled me. But...I also know there are a lot of women out there in their late 30's and 40's that are still having kids....and some who are just starting their families if they started their careers first. Fitting in can certainly be a challenge.

I hear you completely. I am 40 and have 4 kids, one not in school yet, the oldest is moving on to high school next fall. I am one of those oddities that I work outside the house (thank heavens for my mom who has pretty much raised my 4 kids).

I tried being in one of those mom's groups and I never really fit. The mom's that all went to do the coffee thing all talked about eachother and I couldn't stand being in that environment so I withdrew. I didn't even join the school's parent council for the same reason. It was all the same mom's who all seemed fake to me. I am friends with a couple moms that are more like me even if they only have a small family.

I still have that baby bug and want just one more! The problem is that I feel like I am getting too old (my cycles are getting longer and longer too) and I am worried that I am just too tired to go through it all again. My heart wants another baby, and my body is saying "no way, and I am putting you in menopause just to make sure you listen!"

Thanks for sharing this, you don't know how many times I see young moms and have all those feelings you do! Like you, I don't regret anything and am not mad, just it makes me think back to a different time for me...

I pretty much avoid hanging out with the moms of the other kids at school. Part of it is age, but it's also the fact that my kids just started in the school, and the other moms have known one another since kindergarten. I'm fortunate to have a couple of friends who are moms close to my age, so those are the moms that I hang out with and that I call when I have a problem or just want to talk. I sort of feel like I relate better to moms of teens and grown children anyway, and they usually enjoy talking about the little ones, since they don't have their own any more.

I have a similar but opposite problem to you. In my neighbourhood most of the moms with children the same age as mine are in their late 30's or early 40's. I am 31 with soon to be 3 children. I feel like I am too young for them. Also, many of them have waited to have children to pursue careers in academia or just careers in general. Although I am educated and have a very specialized profession, I am now a stay at home mom. Anyways, it's just kind of weird being the youngest one too.

This has been fun to read, how we all have our turns of feeling like we don't fit in.

I had my first at 25, which is just fine, but on the older end (Utah) for your first. So when I visit with some mom's of my daughter's friends, they think I am much younger than I am, or they have teens and since I don't assume I am young. I've been out of highschool for almost 18yrs, I could easily have teens. I even had someone ask me my kids ages, and when I said them, they said, "Oh, so you waited to have kids". I chuckled to myself. She is the bio grandma of my youngest sister, my sister's bio mom had my sis and brother when she was 15 and 16. lol.

Then I feel like I really don't fit in when I am waiting at the dance school. It seems ballet moms can be so froufy! It felt so clique-ish, and I don't ever do mani/pedis, rarely get my hair even trimmed, wear tshirts and jeans almost all the time. I have not felt so out of place since junior high. Thankfully with the girls getting older now, most mom's run errands during dance class.

I'm also a major homebody and somewhat shy, so even though there are many moms at church and in my neighborhood that have lots of kids, about my age, etc, I just never know what to say to them (of course, I have had some judging about my length of time breastfeeding or other things). I often don't feel like I fit in there either, but thats not what I am there for anyhow.

Thankfully I have a few good friends and 3 awesome sisters.

I'm part of the too young to have this many kids group when it goes to neighbors and our playground. We are the youngest by far! We home school, and I am also the youngest in our little co-op group but so far it hasn't been an issue. I'm lucky that the bond so far seems to transcend our hodgepodge of ages (except when discussing cultural stuff lol).

That's yet another reason why I'm glad I left the day school life behind, it was very very competitive and full of what my bff calls "mama drama". I'd rather deal with my network of close friends and family.