Punishments ** THIS IS NOT A DEBATE**

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Mommyin0406080912's picture
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644
Punishments ** THIS IS NOT A DEBATE**

I wanted to see what you ladies do for punishments? I am not starting a debate just asking, if this bothers you, you don't have to answer.

Do you try to find a punishment that fits the crime? Do you do the same punishment all the time no matter what?

My oldest is 7 almost 8 and were having a few problems with her. I had a post a few months ago about problems at school and being mean to us at home. I am still working on this issue with her and I asked the school to step in and help me figure it out.

Anyways, lately she has been lying. Just about little things nothing harmful but I don't like the lies! She is also name calling and they are not so nice! She heard it from the boy next door and I had to tell his mom he can no longer stand in our driveway to wait for the bus.

But here we do time out, thats a big one. But when my older 2 slam doors out of anger I make them open and close the door the right way 20 times.

The only one that doesn't understand fully of time out is my 3yr old. he just looks at you funny like what!

Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 07/20/08
Posts: 40

Consistency is really the biggest discipline rule in our house, no ignoring bad behavior. (We have family that I want to look at and say "Do you not see why they aren't listening?) We use time outs and apologies the most. And okay, maybe a little bit of guilt because I take the "are you supposed to be doing that? did you think that was going to be a good choice?" type tone.

Basically, if I catch them doing something wrong they have to "fix it", whether it's something broken, knocked over, stepped on, etc (rough housing boys - can you tell?) or someone's feelings. The only way to get time out is either ignoring a warning, or not "fixing it". No getting out of time out until you've calmly sat through your assigned number of minutes.

Last seen: 3 years 7 months ago
Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

time outs and losing things are the big ones here. Ive gotten a little too laid back with the kids lately...and you can see the downward spiral they can go into when it happens....we are getting order back starting this weekend! Luckily, I think we have realized the situation before it went too far gone! Smile

PAmom2boys's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 weeks ago
Joined: 04/29/09
Posts: 1494

We use timeouts. My 2 yo does them the best so far. He'll just go to the spot when he gets timeout. None of my others did that. And it works for this age. I imagine we'll adapt it as they grow. For my oldest he would be grounded or have to write sentences etc at 9-10 yo. We were lucky he wasnt needing punishment much.

Starryblue702's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

It depends on the age, of course. With my 9 year old, I'll take away his Nintendo or TV, with my 6 year old (almost 7) same things, but I'll also put him in a corner (which he hates, so it works), and with my 3 year old I'll just smack her hand. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don't, but like others have said it's about consistancy, and finding out what works best with your kids.

MrsSchepp's picture
Last seen: 3 years 11 hours ago
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

Definitely depends on the age and what the child's "currency" is. Mostly for Sawyer and Elliot, we do time outs right now. for the older boys, they lose privilges like talking on the phone or playing xbox or whatever it is that is important to them to get the point across that what teh did was NOT ok! We also do the bead system (someone on here told me about. asha? maybe?) and that works GREAT. Sometimes just threating them to lose beads will do the trick Smile

Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I agree. It depends on what the crime is and on what they respond to. If it's something they can fix, they have to fix it. If it's hurting someone, they have to apologize, and then sometimes have an additional punishment. We rarely do time outs, but it does depend on the situation. For instance, if Thomas gets up from the table without putting his plate in the sink, he goes to time out.

Lying is a huge thing for us, so if you're caught lying, your punishment is greater than it would have been if you had been honest in the first place about what you did wrong.

If there's a punishment that fits the crime, we try to do that. For instance, if they don't turn off the DS when told, they lose video game privileges for the next 24 hours. If there isn't a punishment to fit the crime, they usually loose a privilege. The most common ones are TV/video games, dessert and (for the little ones) reading a bedtime story with Mom. Cherish sometimes gets sent to her room, because she usually acts up to get attention, and if I sit and argue with her or keep taking away privileges, she will continue to get attention. If I send her to her room, she will chill out and then come back to apologize on her own.