what happened?

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3011
what happened?

The kids are asking for a new baby. DH is completely open to having another next spring. And suddenly I'm the one hanging back. I've always been the driving force behind TTC before. What's going on? With the others I was pregnant again by now. DS3, at almost 13m, is talking more than DS1 did and walking more than DS2 did, but still seems like such a baby to me. Is it the prospect of having four kids at home? I can handle my three, but it's crazy at times. Especially when DH has to work long hours. I already almost never get a break. This afternoon they're all asleep at the same time, which happens once in a blue moon (pretty much literally, DS1 usually doesn't nap anymore). The house isn't clean. There's laundry to put away. I need a nap. I have no idea what we're doing for dinner. I've barely gotten to talk to DH this week (those long hours I mentioned). And I'm considering adding another? Am I crazy? Almost everyone I know (the excepting being my mom) would say yes.

And yet... I would cry is DH said he never wanted another. I love how they relate to each other when they're close in age. They are all wonderful, happy, healthy kids, and I often get compliments on their behavior.

Why is it such a hard decision? Maybe because it seems like it's a great idea for everyone except me.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3011

well, we discussed pros and cons and I think it'll work out okay. He's offered to arrange help with housecleaning at least while I'm pregnant and we have 4 in the house most of the day. That makes a big difference. As did getting a nap. Sleep works wonders. So, I think we're on for TTC in June/July.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

Good luck! I had a friend describe it once that beyond the first 3, it's no different, just "more." She has 8 now, I think.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3011

I had someone with 6 tell me that, too. She said "If you can handle 3 you can handle any number" I find it hard to believe, but I guess I'll find out if they're right!

Joined: 07/20/08
Posts: 40

LOL, I have 6 and I will say I agree. Not sure if it was just our luck or what but three to four was by far my easiest. Noah was my roughest baby, and Anna was my roughest pregnancy. Then I had Ethan who was by far my easiest pregnancy and baby. We joke that of course he was overdue, he was too happy to have that peace and quiet compared to our zoo.

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

:lurk:

It was the same way for us. DH was ready before I was. Just before DD's birthday we were playing at a park, having a really nice family day. DH turned to me and said "well, I think its about time for another." lol. I was stunned. DD and DS2 were only 18 months a part in age... she was a big surprise since I was still nursing and had only had 2 very long, weird, cycles. So, we talked about it a bit. I still hadnt gotten my cycle back after having DD, so starting right then wasnt an option. I weened DD shortly after she turned a year, and got my cycle back a month or so later. So, we decided to not exactly try, but let things happen as they happened. If we didnt get pregnant by DD's 2nd birthday (This July) we would re evaluate... then, if I wasn't prego by my 30th birthday, we would just stop with 3. As luck would have it, I got a BFP in March Smile

I would also have to say that going from 2 to 3 was the HARDEST. I have also been told, by a friend of mine that is prego with #7, that after you have gone from 2 to 3, you might as well keep going. She brought up the fact, that even if you have your kids closer together, that by the time #4 arrives the older 1 or 2 kids are way more independent, and even helpful. Also, it isn't too long before they start school.. though, she home schools, so it didn't make much of a difference lol

RyleesMom's picture
Joined: 10/10/03
Posts: 123

This is so me too. I have 3 sweet girls.. all just turned 2-4-6 this spring. And I am finally feeling like I am not drowning most days. LOL. Not having a baby in the house is bitter sweet. I miss it. But at the same time I love the independence of older kids. Well.. I say older but really just mean no baby. Anyways.. we are open to #4 but I am hesitant. Would I be ruining a good thing? Or will it be a great addition to the fun? By now I would be giving birth if I had stayed on the same schedule. So it is strange to not have tried by now. Oh and also... I know this is dumb but I am constantly thinking about what everyone else would say.. and how crazy they would think we are. I know I know.. its our life- we shouldn't worry about what others think. But I know my family and some close friends would think we are absolutely crazy, as our hands are pretty full right now!!!