What is your support system like?

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MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496
What is your support system like?

Or do you have one? Is it just you? You and hubby? Extended family? Awesome friends?

Joined: 10/21/03
Posts: 172

Our nearest family is 8 hours away, but I have an awesome dh. He does really well at helping to get me a little sanity time. We also have several wonderful close family friends nearby. With their support (swapping babysitting) or the use of the teenagers Smile we're able to go out on dates regularly. And there's always someone I can call if I need help when dh is busy or out of town.

So... no close family support, but a fabulous support system through friends Smile

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

We have my mom and my IL's about 5 minutes away. My mom can help out with the older kids but her back problems prevent her from helping with the baby.

My IL's are available a lot to help but my MIL is, well, not always very nice to me and my first two kids so I try to avoid using her if I can.

Other than that we don't have anyone else. I know we ship my DSS's off to their bio-mom's half the time but frankly that jsut makes things harder given what she does to them. My two older kids go to their bio-dad's 40% of the time so I guess we usually get 1 or 2 days a week with only 1 child. I work full time so I usually use that one "free" evening to try to catch up on some laundry or house work. Needless to say it's not enough time!

Joined: 07/21/02
Posts: 1007

We live 14 and 20 hours from dh's family and my family, so we have no family anywhere nearby--and so sad about it! Can't wait when we feel the time is right/job comes along closer to family!

But we do have a wonderful church organization and friends/neighbors we have met in the area that are a great support system to us. We have friends that have us over for dinner/game nights/parties, etc and we do the same for them. We also do babysitting swaps etc. I just met with 5 other ladies from church who wanted to do a home preschool for their 3 year olds this year and we got a plan all hashed out and will be starting next week.

So although I have no family nearby, I can't really complain about having no support, because between dh and my friends and church friends, I do have a good support system to keep me sane Wink

WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
Joined: 05/26/07
Posts: 1192

DH and I make a great team but we also have my dad, who is awesome! He always jokes that we should have 12 kids but our last was born a month ago today-- this is definately it (I think I should add that I said that last time, too, lol)... IF there is another, the age difference between it and Alex will be quite a bit. My dad LOVES taking my step-son, my DS, and my DD all off at once and I'm sure he's waiting the day Alex can join, too. Smile
My best friend also is a great support as I can call her anytime I feel like I may be ready to pull my hair out. My step-son's mother brings a lot of stress into our lives and usually, that's what causes me to feel like I'm losing it. Beee My best friend definately helps to keep me grounded.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Most of my family is 40min away in about 3 different directions, but they are often busy with their own family and lives. Since I had the twins my mom has been super helpful and comes to babysit so I can volunteer at the school and what not every month or so. I have been hesitant to leave the babes before because they are still breastfeeding and clingy, but the last few months I worry less about it, and my step-mom has come to help as well when needed.

My dh's dad and step mom are 3hrs away, but the older kids did spend a week up there just before school started, and that was fun for them. And dh's mom and stepdad are 13hrs away.. so we see them a lot less, and I know she would help constantly if she were nearer, which would be nice when we can find no one else. Wink

I had a good friend that we used to swap babysitting for doc appts, volunteering, anything really, but they have moved an hour away now.. but we are still swapping babysitting once a week, when it works. Our kids all get along great, and I have even watched all 9 kids (9 and under) by myself when dh had to work a few times, and it was not bad at all. Smile

Not a lot of friends support wise, but lots of ppl I can call on the phone for moral support, so grateful for that. Smile

Four4us's picture
Joined: 01/13/06
Posts: 324

My mom for sure!!

She is my lifesaver. If it wasn't for her, I would not be working here doing what I love to do (work with insects!). She takes the kids whenever I need her to and I couldn't ask for more! She is the best!

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

We live in the town where my husband and I grew up and both of our families all still live here, too. I don't have many friends (not many people are looking to befriend a 29 year old with 6 kids for some reason...) but my family is amazing! They supported me through nursing school and ask to watch the kids all the time. And of course, my husband rocks. If he wasn't awesome, we would not have this many kids for sure!!

Love reading all these!! It's nice to know we all have some great support in place for ourselves!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

My family is close but definitely not what I'd consider a support system. For some perspective Isaiah is almost 3 weeks old and neither my brother and his family nor dh's sister have even seen him...or called us to say congrats or anything (my brother lives about 30 min away, his sister is about 5 min away).
I'm just starting to make friends that live around me, so maybe at some point I'll feel like I have a good support system but right now I feel like it's just dh and I. We still haven't found a new church since we moved either so we don't have that. Our neighbors are very nice though, they are all older (retired) and they were pretty excited for us and love that we have a bigger family.

Chimmy's picture
Joined: 08/03/01
Posts: 2776

We have friends & family who live close by, and after the birth of Lochlan my mom & sister have really stepped up to help - something they didn't do last time & I wasn't really expecting but have been very grateful for the extra help. Mostly though my husband and I tag team really well - I really can't rave enough about him, I know we wouldn't be able to have this many kids together if we didn't work so well as a team. He's also really great at taking over a night here n' there so I can go out with my girlfriends, something I love doing.

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

I have a fantastic DH who does more than his fair share of helping. Plus we do have some family around although I wouldn't describe their assistance as eager and willing. I have to pay my sister to have the kids, even if it's just for a Dr/Hospital appointment. We have to justify every piece of help we ask for - and if it's just that we need a couple of hours break from work and family then generally we can bugger off...

It's my Nans funeral next week and I haven't even bothered asking if anyone will have them because I know what the answer will be...

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

DH and my mom for me! Unfortunately my friends just aren't close with me anymore... and it gets kind of lonely...

toothy35's picture
Joined: 02/20/06
Posts: 4578

my family live all over the country....my MIL is about an hour away.....so it's just dh and myself. he is great and since i have big spacing in the kids ages....i have built in baby sitters.....so if i need to run a quick errand.....i can wait till max or sarah get home from school and can run the errand.........and i do get to get out with my girlfriends at night......when ever i need to. Dh and i get out at least once a week by ourselves, too......so it's not so bad. we are our own little support system. LOL!!!

Mommyin0406080912's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

Hubby and I are our own system and that is ok! No point in getting into it buy my mom has never liked the idea of me having 1 kid let alone now going on 5 so be it! Smile But I love my husband he is the best.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

My DH and I are partners in parenting and always have been. It has allowed us to both work but still have the kids feel like they're not missing out on anything. We don't have any family close (closest is 5 hours away). We do have a couple of friends who will step in and help when we need it.

ashamom27's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 1010

All of my family is in Poland . DH's family ( mother and sister) are 10 minutes away, but they barely know the kids' names- they are so un-interested.... Sad

We have each other , we have our 3 oldest kids and we do have great neighbors/friends who are always offering.