The last one we waited until after our big ultrasound. I had the advantage that I worked from home so nobody saw me.
But boy was my family pissed off at us. We avoided telling them because we knew we'd get a lot of comments with it being our third, so we waited. Then they were pissed off we waited and that we were pregnant. If we get pregnant again I like the idea of never telling them. Too bad that won't work.
I like that idea. I hope you try it! I think it would work just fine. It would be their problem how to deal with it, not yours.
Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat
Lurker here - we waited until 7 mo preg with our 3rd to tell the grumpy inlaws. I think they got the hint because they were a tad nicer for announcement #4,5,6,7.
With our first we told everyone within a few days, the second maybe a week later. The third I just thought we shouldn't tell incase if I miscarried, and I did. I had a d&c and only told family at that point that I needed help from (watching my kids while I had surgery). The next time I waited again, and miscarried again, and then told family, unfortunately I had to tell more family than I wanted. My dad was in the hosp and I was not up to visiting him, so I had to tell him why, and he told everyone. Thankfully no one said much to me (thats how I prefer it). With my twins, we waited as long as we could... in case of another loss.... we told the kids at maybe 9-10wks (after an u/s and appt) and everyone else at about 12wks. If there is another, I hope to wait to tell until after the 1st trimester. My family was supportive enough, but I get tired of the stupid senseless comments from well intentioned people.
Rachel, momma to 4
dd 9, ds 7, twin boys Dec 09
I nursed my twins for 2years and 2 weeks! A little sad to be all done now.
With my first pg we told at 10 weeks and at my first appt at 12 weeks no h/b could be found on the doppler. They said it might jsut be too early, but before the 13 week appt that was set up to look for the h/b came, I had began bleeding and finally m/c at 14 weeks. After that, we have always waited. With ds1 we told my MIL/FIL right away--they were so heartbroken when we lost the first. But no one else until we had a good h/b after 12 weeks. The rest were similar. With my 6th pg (had 3 kids and 2 m/c at that point) we told at 10 weeks after having a good u/s with strong h/b, but then I lost that one at 14 weeks. So with this last baby, we didn't tell the general population until 15 or 16 weeks, though we told close family and friends at 12 weeks.
I don't keep it secret because of negative reactions--everyone who matters to me and *might* hurt my feelings with a negative reaction don't ever have one, but are always very excited and supportive of a big family. And those who don't matter (strangers, casual acquaintances) don't hurt my feelings with negative reactions. But I would rather not have to un-announce a pregnancy due to a miscarriage--I've had to do that twice with our close family and friends (both happened before it was common knowledge) and its too hard on me.
With our first we told right away. With the rest we've waited until after the 1st appointment/ultrasound. I can't get DH to keep it a secret much longer than that although I wish I could. We are TTC for one more, and I'd really like to wait to tell anyone for a while, but I doubt DH will go along. I do think it is true (at least for us) that most people (definitely not all) are not as excited after the first couple of babies...but we will be just as excited and that's all that really matters.
I wait. I like to enjoy the first few weeks comment free, plus it actually helped when we lost a baby at 18 weeks before. Nobody knew, not even kids so when it happened it was kind of easier ( they weren't planning baby names and such).
So do what YOU think will work for you. Also get a few sharp come backs ready. i really don't feel bad when I am rude or sarcastic to those people at that time if they make a negative comment about my baby- they are asking for it~!
Badwater Basin Y'all!