when you discover you are pregnant do you ...

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when you discover you are pregnant do you ...

Do you tell your friends and family straight away or do you leave telling them for a bit?
Im so unsure when to annouce we are having another baby (when we actually ttc) I am tempted to keep it quiet for at least 12 weeks so they cant spoil the early weeks for me.
Thing is no matter when I annouce it they will be disapointed in me anyway my family are not fans of large families.
We have 6 so will be TTC# 7

x

Sarah-Jean's picture
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I normally tell everyone straight away. Next time though I'll probably keep it quiet for as long as possible. My family (outside my home) are all falling apart anyway so I doubt I'll have much to do with them soon so it'll be easier to hide it.

I don't want anything to spoil my enjoyment if I have another baby... And that includes family and friends.

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We usually tell close family and friends right away but as we keep having them i notice that people dont really get excited like they do when its your 1st 2nd or etc etc so i think this next time we may wait a while. I know my mom is going to freak out on me. I have already told a few close friends that we are going to go for the next one this summer and i havent heard anything too bad yet.

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With each pregnancy it's been different for me. With my first (I was with my first husband) we were so excited because we had been trying for about six months, we told EVERYONE the day we found out! With my second I was terrified because I had been messing around with boss (now my current DH) and I knew that it wasn't my husband's baby (due to timing and bc used). I told both of them of course and no one else but my mother for a few weeks. With my third (much more time gone by, a divorce, a new marriage, and TONS of growing up) we told everyone right away, especially since we were hoping for a girl this time around. With my fourth I only told my mom (dad didn't find out until weeks later) and my boss, because I knew with baby #4 for me, #5 for DH, and #6 for us total (confusing math problem, I know lol!) that the whispers would fly and the crappy looks were to come for how many children we had. I finally announced to the (FB) world in my second trimester. If I were to get pregnant again (which is highly doubtful, as this last baby was a "whoops!" and DH would kill me lol) I don't think I would tell anyone... at all lol. We only have a few close friends anyway and they would find out by me showing. I just wouldn't want to deal with all of the snide comments. I love having a large family, and anyone who has a problem with it can not be our friends anymore.

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We told everyone right away with baby #1 because it was the first grandbaby on both sides, but we have waiting until at least 12 weeks with all the others. Currently only one of DH's brothers and his wife know that we are expecting again. Our kids don't even know yet, although I am sure my oldest suspects it. I am hoping to wait until April Fools (17 weeks along) to tell everyone (kids included), but I am defintely popping sooner this time and we are supposed to go swimming with my family this coming weekend.

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I'm no good at secrets so I've always told right away. With my last two I wanted to keep it a secret longer but figured I might as well just tell everyone and 'get it over with' if I thought I could keep it a secret until the big ultrasound I'd do that but like I said, awful with secrets Wink
In the extremely unlikely case of us having another baby I'm not sure what I'd do. Probably try not to tell for as long as possible and end up caving to my excitement Smile

Lots-o-Tots's picture
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There's no right or wrong way to do it. Some people prefer to wait, and some people prefer to tell right away. As for me, personally, I've always been an open book, so I've always spilled the news right away. If someone's going to give you grief about it, they're likely going to give you grief no matter when you tell them.

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Some people I tell (close friends and supportive family), others will figure it out at some point. Blum 3 I don't have facebook or twitter or any of that so it still trickles out slowly to people because I refuse at this point to call and tell EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. You can tell who I haven't seen in awhile though, by how they eye the belly.

pico83 (not verified)

I usually have to tell pretty early because I get horrible m/s and there's no hiding that. So, we've told family around 5 weeks every time. I try to wait longer to make it general knowledge, but anyone I see with any regularity finds out before 12 weeks. Last time DS1 told me there was a baby in my tummy before my 10dpo BFP... so I'm sure if I'll be able to hide it from anyone if he picks up on it that quickly again next time.

boilermaker's picture
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We've told people everywhere from 6 weeks to 13 weeks.....just depended on all sort of things.

CamelNoodle's picture
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The last one we waited until after our big ultrasound. I had the advantage that I worked from home so nobody saw me.

But boy was my family pissed off at us. We avoided telling them because we knew we'd get a lot of comments with it being our third, so we waited. Then they were pissed off we waited and that we were pregnant. If we get pregnant again I like the idea of never telling them. Too bad that won't work.

gardenbug's picture
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ROFL I like that idea. I hope you try it! I think it would work just fine. It would be their problem how to deal with it, not yours.

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I wait for lots of reasons...I dont want to have to explain to 100 people if something goes wrong...plus I never have nice comments when I announce...so I just wait as long as possible to tell people!

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Lurker here - we waited until 7 mo preg with our 3rd to tell the grumpy inlaws. I think they got the hint because they were a tad nicer for announcement #4,5,6,7.

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With our first we told everyone within a few days, the second maybe a week later. The third I just thought we shouldn't tell incase if I miscarried, and I did. I had a d&c and only told family at that point that I needed help from (watching my kids while I had surgery). The next time I waited again, and miscarried again, and then told family, unfortunately I had to tell more family than I wanted. My dad was in the hosp and I was not up to visiting him, so I had to tell him why, and he told everyone. Thankfully no one said much to me (thats how I prefer it). With my twins, we waited as long as we could... in case of another loss.... we told the kids at maybe 9-10wks (after an u/s and appt) and everyone else at about 12wks. If there is another, I hope to wait to tell until after the 1st trimester. My family was supportive enough, but I get tired of the stupid senseless comments from well intentioned people.

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With my first pg we told at 10 weeks and at my first appt at 12 weeks no h/b could be found on the doppler. They said it might jsut be too early, but before the 13 week appt that was set up to look for the h/b came, I had began bleeding and finally m/c at 14 weeks. After that, we have always waited. With ds1 we told my MIL/FIL right away--they were so heartbroken when we lost the first. But no one else until we had a good h/b after 12 weeks. The rest were similar. With my 6th pg (had 3 kids and 2 m/c at that point) we told at 10 weeks after having a good u/s with strong h/b, but then I lost that one at 14 weeks. So with this last baby, we didn't tell the general population until 15 or 16 weeks, though we told close family and friends at 12 weeks.

I don't keep it secret because of negative reactions--everyone who matters to me and *might* hurt my feelings with a negative reaction don't ever have one, but are always very excited and supportive of a big family. And those who don't matter (strangers, casual acquaintances) don't hurt my feelings with negative reactions. But I would rather not have to un-announce a pregnancy due to a miscarriage--I've had to do that twice with our close family and friends (both happened before it was common knowledge) and its too hard on me.

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With our first we told right away. With the rest we've waited until after the 1st appointment/ultrasound. I can't get DH to keep it a secret much longer than that although I wish I could. We are TTC for one more, and I'd really like to wait to tell anyone for a while, but I doubt DH will go along. I do think it is true (at least for us) that most people (definitely not all) are not as excited after the first couple of babies...but we will be just as excited and that's all that really matters.

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I wait. I like to enjoy the first few weeks comment free, plus it actually helped when we lost a baby at 18 weeks before. Nobody knew, not even kids so when it happened it was kind of easier ( they weren't planning baby names and such).
So do what YOU think will work for you. Also get a few sharp come backs ready. i really don't feel bad when I am rude or sarcastic to those people at that time if they make a negative comment about my baby- they are asking for it~!